Time-traveling Inca impregnation

[Raikhatung]

If I as someone who has the germ-resistant genes of the eastern hemisphere that the Amerindians lacked go back in time to seduce and impregnate every single Inca woman to spread my genes, history would turn out different because the European diseases were a major reason for the conquest of the new world. While I'm there I might as well give the Incas an alphabet and a very useful but simple machine, the printing press. Just to mess with future historians, I would teach them Katakana

Since I have a time machine and simple special effects to overawe the natives, I might as well tell the Incas to launch a holy war of conquest northwards so that they control the isthmus of Panama, giving them an advantageous position for modern times. They will eventually encounter and conquer the Aztecs (replacing human sacrifice with a religion of mercy thanks to llamas) and the Mayans, hopefully before the Spanish arrive. Maybe such an entity could survive the conquistadors.

To have some more lolz, I could tell them about theoretical concepts like a cartesian coordinate plane, set theory, algebra and basic calculus... in other words, things to mess with historians.

This would change the future so much that nobody would need to go back to kill Hitler since WWII as we know it would probably not even exist. It would also spread my genes far and wide over at least two continents.

So the question is, what kind of diet should I adopt to give me the stamina needed to carry this out?

[Utceforp]

I think we can safely award this thread the "weirdest thread title ever" award.

[Raikhatung]

I think we can safely award this thread the "weirdest thread title ever" award.

But its also very relevant to the modern world... if we change the way the new world and old world interacted in the beginning, we change EVERYTHING. I think my genes could accomplish this.

[Tekania]

If I as someone who has the germ-resistant genes of the eastern hemisphere that the Amerindians lacked go back in time to seduce and impregnate every single Inca woman to spread my genes, history would turn out different because the European diseases were a major reason for the conquest of the new world. While I'm there I might as well give the Incas an alphabet and a very useful but simple machine, the printing press. Just to mess with future historians, I would teach them Katakana

Since I have a time machine and simple special effects to overawe the natives, I might as well tell the Incas to launch a holy war of conquest northwards so that they control the isthmus of Panama, giving them an advantageous position for modern times. They will eventually encounter and conquer the Aztecs (replacing human sacrifice with a religion of mercy thanks to llamas) and the Mayans, hopefully before the Spanish arrive. Maybe such an entity could survive the conquistadors.

To have some more lolz, I could tell them about theoretical concepts like a cartesian coordinate plane, set theory, algebra and basic calculus... in other words, things to mess with historians.

This would change the future so much that nobody would need to go back to kill Hitler since WWII as we know it would probably not even exist. It would also spread my genes far and wide over at least two continents.

So the question is, what kind of diet should I adopt to give me the stamina needed to carry this out?

Something rich in lysergic acid diethylamide

[Thafoo]

I don't even

[Raikhatung]

If I as someone who has the germ-resistant genes of the eastern hemisphere that the Amerindians lacked go back in time to seduce and impregnate every single Inca woman to spread my genes, history would turn out different because the European diseases were a major reason for the conquest of the new world. While I'm there I might as well give the Incas an alphabet and a very useful but simple machine, the printing press. Just to mess with future historians, I would teach them Katakana

Since I have a time machine and simple special effects to overawe the natives, I might as well tell the Incas to launch a holy war of conquest northwards so that they control the isthmus of Panama, giving them an advantageous position for modern times. They will eventually encounter and conquer the Aztecs (replacing human sacrifice with a religion of mercy thanks to llamas) and the Mayans, hopefully before the Spanish arrive. Maybe such an entity could survive the conquistadors.

To have some more lolz, I could tell them about theoretical concepts like a cartesian coordinate plane, set theory, algebra and basic calculus... in other words, things to mess with historians.

This would change the future so much that nobody would need to go back to kill Hitler since WWII as we know it would probably not even exist. It would also spread my genes far and wide over at least two continents.

So the question is, what kind of diet should I adopt to give me the stamina needed to carry this out?

Something rich in lysergic acid diethylamide

I think that would botch my transtemporal technology transfers though.

[Inventio]

the germ-resistant genes of the eastern hemisphere that the Amerindians lacked

I'm pretty sure it was exposure to the diseases, not genes, that made the eastern hemisphere more germ-resistant. I haven't been in history class for a while, but I thought it was the isolation of the Native American population that made them so susceptible to disease.

[Regnum Dominae]

If I as someone who has the germ-resistant genes of the eastern hemisphere that the Amerindians lacked go back in time to seduce and impregnate every single Inca woman to spread my genes, history would turn out different because the European diseases were a major reason for the conquest of the new world. While I'm there I might as well give the Incas an alphabet and a very useful but simple machine, the printing press. Just to mess with future historians, I would teach them Katakana

Since I have a time machine and simple special effects to overawe the natives, I might as well tell the Incas to launch a holy war of conquest northwards so that they control the isthmus of Panama, giving them an advantageous position for modern times. They will eventually encounter and conquer the Aztecs (replacing human sacrifice with a religion of mercy thanks to llamas) and the Mayans, hopefully before the Spanish arrive. Maybe such an entity could survive the conquistadors.

To have some more lolz, I could tell them about theoretical concepts like a cartesian coordinate plane, set theory, algebra and basic calculus... in other words, things to mess with historians.

This would change the future so much that nobody would need to go back to kill Hitler since WWII as we know it would probably not even exist. It would also spread my genes far and wide over at least two continents.

So the question is, what kind of diet should I adopt to give me the stamina needed to carry this out?

Something rich in lysergic acid diethylamide

don't forget lots of psilocybin.

[Raikhatung]

the germ-resistant genes of the eastern hemisphere that the Amerindians lacked

I'm pretty sure it was exposure to the diseases, not genes, that made the eastern hemisphere more germ-resistant. I haven't been in history class for a while, but I thought it was the isolation of the Native American population that made them so susceptible to disease.

It was genetic resistance. Exposure over generations produced selective pressures that made eastern hemisphere populations genetically resistant over a long time.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Population ... e_Americas

[Thafoo]

"mothers eating own placenta"
"time-traveling Inca impregnation"

on the same page = we must freak out a lot of new players

[Marcurix]

If I as someone who has the germ-resistant genes of the eastern hemisphere that the Amerindians lacked go back in time to seduce and impregnate every single Inca woman to spread my genes, history would turn out different because the European diseases were a major reason for the conquest of the new world.

Right....

While I'm there I might as well give the Incas an alphabet and a very useful but simple machine, the printing press. Just to mess with future historians, I would teach them Katakana

uh huh...

Since I have a time machine and simple special effects to overawe the natives, I might as well tell the Incas to launch a holy war of conquest northwards so that they control the isthmus of Panama, giving them an advantageous position for modern times. They will eventually encounter and conquer the Aztecs (replacing human sacrifice with a religion of mercy thanks to llamas) and the Mayans, hopefully before the Spanish arrive. Maybe such an entity could survive the conquistadors.

er...

To have some more lolz, I could tell them about theoretical concepts like a cartesian coordinate plane, set theory, algebra and basic calculus... in other words, things to mess with historians.

Mess with wouldn't be the word.

This would change the future so much that nobody would need to go back to kill Hitler since WWII as we know it would probably not even exist. It would also spread my genes far and wide over at least two continents.

bit of a leap.

So the question is, what kind of diet should I adopt to give me the stamina needed to carry this out?

The jub jub fruit found in the Tumtum tree.

[Regnum Dominae]

"mothers eating own placenta"
"time-traveling Inca impregnation"

on the same page = we must freak out a lot of new players

now all we need is a repeat of that old "hitler likes poop" thread.

[Utceforp]

the germ-resistant genes of the eastern hemisphere that the Amerindians lacked

I'm pretty sure it was exposure to the diseases, not genes, that made the eastern hemisphere more germ-resistant. I haven't been in history class for a while, but I thought it was the isolation of the Native American population that made them so susceptible to disease.

I think that the OP has a fetish for Incans. Still, what the world would look like if the native Americans had not been especially susceptible to Old World diseases is an interesting concept.

I think that the New World would still have been colonized by European powers (The Aztecs were not well liked by those they ruled over, which the Spanish used against them, and the Incans were fighting a civil war, plus people without guns are generally beaten by those who do have guns) but the majority of the ethnicities present would be those of various native groups, and the entirety of the continent might not have been colonized. Their history from there would probably be similar to India (ironically) or Africa.

[Thafoo]

"mothers eating own placenta"
"time-traveling Inca impregnation"

on the same page = we must freak out a lot of new players

now all we need is a repeat of that old "hitler likes poop" thread.

*salutes*

I'll get that meth in the air supply straightaway.

[Inventio]

I'm pretty sure it was exposure to the diseases, not genes, that made the eastern hemisphere more germ-resistant. I haven't been in history class for a while, but I thought it was the isolation of the Native American population that made them so susceptible to disease.

It was genetic resistance. Exposure over generations produced selective pressures that made eastern hemisphere populations genetically resistant over a long time.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Population ... e_Americas

So it was exposure over generations that caused changes in genes that made them less susceptible? I really need to stop doing history late at night.

[Raikhatung]

I'm pretty sure it was exposure to the diseases, not genes, that made the eastern hemisphere more germ-resistant. I haven't been in history class for a while, but I thought it was the isolation of the Native American population that made them so susceptible to disease.

I think that the OP has a fetish for Incans. Still, what the world would look like if the native Americans had not been especially susceptible to Old World diseases is an interesting concept.

I think that the New World would still have been colonized by European powers (The Aztecs were not well liked by those they ruled over, which the Spanish used against them, and the Incans were fighting a civil war, plus people without guns are generally beaten by those who do have guns) but the majority of the ethnicities present would be those of various native groups, and the entirety of the continent might not have been colonized. Their history from there would probably be similar to India (ironically) or Africa.

The Inca civil war was caused because the Inca and his heir died of European diseases that they contracted as Pizarro explored around the northern fringes of the empire. So while the Inca political system, like all monarchies of those days, could produce significant chaos and bloodshed, it need not have done so at that crucial moment.

I think that the Incas could have adapted eventually if they could preserve their independence and not get disease-fucked in a major way.

[Raikhatung]

It was genetic resistance. Exposure over generations produced selective pressures that made eastern hemisphere populations genetically resistant over a long time.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Population ... e_Americas

So it was exposure over generations that caused changes in genes that made them less susceptible? I really need to stop doing history late at night.

Yes, natural selection apparently.

[Mushet]

This sounds bad, Tawantinsuyu wasn't the nicest empire and indian on indian imperialism isn't much better than European on Indian imperialism.

And that's not the only thing you can do to ward off Europe, there were a lot of places in history where European imperialism could've at least been taken down a few pegs, if Cortes had gotten his ass kicked it would've taken a while for someone else to come around, same with Pizarro, and that could've been a game changer, or the Taino kiling Columbus, that's a nip in the bud.

And the OP probably just wants to fuck Quechua women, he should take a plane to Peru, a lot of Quechua girls there

[Raikhatung]

If I as someone who has the germ-resistant genes of the eastern hemisphere that the Amerindians lacked go back in time to seduce and impregnate every single Inca woman to spread my genes, history would turn out different because the European diseases were a major reason for the conquest of the new world.

Right....

While I'm there I might as well give the Incas an alphabet and a very useful but simple machine, the printing press. Just to mess with future historians, I would teach them Katakana

uh huh...

Since I have a time machine and simple special effects to overawe the natives, I might as well tell the Incas to launch a holy war of conquest northwards so that they control the isthmus of Panama, giving them an advantageous position for modern times. They will eventually encounter and conquer the Aztecs (replacing human sacrifice with a religion of mercy thanks to llamas) and the Mayans, hopefully before the Spanish arrive. Maybe such an entity could survive the conquistadors.

er...

To have some more lolz, I could tell them about theoretical concepts like a cartesian coordinate plane, set theory, algebra and basic calculus... in other words, things to mess with historians.

Mess with wouldn't be the word.

This would change the future so much that nobody would need to go back to kill Hitler since WWII as we know it would probably not even exist. It would also spread my genes far and wide over at least two continents.

bit of a leap.

So the question is, what kind of diet should I adopt to give me the stamina needed to carry this out?

The jub jub fruit found in the Tumtum tree.

Maybe my mind works in strange ways, but I am oddly intrigued by what you say. Care to elaborate?

[Vetalia]

Nah, it wasn't genetic resistance that was the factor, it was the fact that pretty much everybody alive in Europe had exposure to those diseases at some point in their lives and survived. Wouldn't do a damn thing to prevent the conquest of the Inca and others, unless you exposed the various Native Americans to those diseases a few thousand years ago and established the same resistance.

But hey, if you're going to do that just for fun and just to be a dick I'm going to do the same in Europe. The Roman Empire could certainly use the printing press and algebra...instead of Hernan Cortes, you'll get a visit from Gaius Cassius Liberalis.

[Mushet]

I'm pretty sure it was exposure to the diseases, not genes, that made the eastern hemisphere more germ-resistant. I haven't been in history class for a while, but I thought it was the isolation of the Native American population that made them so susceptible to disease.

I think that the OP has a fetish for Incans. Still, what the world would look like if the native Americans had not been especially susceptible to Old World diseases is an interesting concept.

I think that the New World would still have been colonized by European powers (The Aztecs were not well liked by those they ruled over, which the Spanish used against them, and the Incans were fighting a civil war, plus people without guns are generally beaten by those who do have guns) but the majority of the ethnicities present would be those of various native groups, and the entirety of the continent might not have been colonized. Their history from there would probably be similar to India (ironically) or Africa.

You gotta remember Cortes was almost killed by the Mexihcah on "El Noche Triste" even with all of his native allies, which FYI natives from surrounding areas were most of Cortes's army, there is likeliness that the power balance might shift to another native city state though, as for the civil war in Tawantinsuyu that was from the vacuum caused by the premature smallpox caused death of the Sapa Inka, I don't know much about their weaponry but lack of disease would be a hell of a game changer.

[Raikhatung]

Nah, it wasn't genetic resistance that was the factor, it was the fact that pretty much everybody alive in Europe had exposure to those diseases at some point in their lives and survived. Wouldn't do a damn thing to prevent the conquest of the Inca and others, unless you exposed the various Native Americans to those diseases a few thousand years ago and established the same resistance.

But hey, if you're going to do that just for fun and just to be a dick I'm going to do the same in Europe. The Roman Empire could certainly use the printing press and algebra...instead of Hernan Cortes, you'll get a visit from Gaius Cassius Liberalis.

Not sure if it was exposure or genetics, wikipedia seems to say genetics had a role.

But to counter the Romans, all I have to do is give Hannibal a barrel of gunpowder to put under the walls of Rome and open a breach, allowing him to storm the city and bring your plans to a premature end

[Uieurnthlaal]

If I as someone who has the germ-resistant genes of the eastern hemisphere that the Amerindians lacked go back in time to seduce and impregnate every single Inca woman to spread my genes, history would turn out different because the European diseases were a major reason for the conquest of the new world. While I'm there I might as well give the Incas an alphabet and a very useful but simple machine, the printing press. Just to mess with future historians, I would teach them Katakana

Since I have a time machine and simple special effects to overawe the natives, I might as well tell the Incas to launch a holy war of conquest northwards so that they control the isthmus of Panama, giving them an advantageous position for modern times. They will eventually encounter and conquer the Aztecs (replacing human sacrifice with a religion of mercy thanks to llamas) and the Mayans, hopefully before the Spanish arrive. Maybe such an entity could survive the conquistadors.

To have some more lolz, I could tell them about theoretical concepts like a cartesian coordinate plane, set theory, algebra and basic calculus... in other words, things to mess with historians.

This would change the future so much that nobody would need to go back to kill Hitler since WWII as we know it would probably not even exist. It would also spread my genes far and wide over at least two continents.

So the question is, what kind of diet should I adopt to give me the stamina needed to carry this out?

The sacrificial blood of young incas.

[Marcurix]

Maybe my mind works in strange ways, but I am oddly intrigued by what you say. Care to elaborate?

As you wish.

To have some more lolz, I could tell them about theoretical concepts like a cartesian coordinate plane, set theory, algebra and basic calculus... in other words, things to mess with historians.

This would potentially become history, in a manner of speaking so it wouldn't mess with historians. It could be passed on, acted on and spread around the world. The impression I got from your comment is you would expect these things, if they survived, to stay isolated to the culture in question when chances are the ideas would spread and become common.

If you want to mess with historians, leave a message in modern English in a tomb that would be sealed up for a few hundred years.

This would change the future so much that nobody would need to go back to kill Hitler since WWII as we know it would probably not even exist.

It is unlikely to change the world so much that there aren't racial supremacists, a group of people able to be used as scapegoats, economic hardships and the will to expand a nations power by force of arms.

It would also spread my genes far and wide over at least two continents.

Assuming the lines you manage to get into lines that don't die out.

[Nervium]

Lysergic acid diethylamide would do the trick.

For the time travelling.


The actual whole, move Inca's northward would probably need more protein.