LGBT Rights & Issues Thread

[Furry Alairia and Algeria]

I totally agree. With my point, I'm not minimizing the fact that I'm gay, I just don''t like how everything I do, has gay added to it. Like a lot of my buddies say I'm their "gay friend" or I get introduced as "my gay buddy" etc etc etc. Sometimes it can be a bit much. I know my friends don't mean anything bad by it and it's really not that big of a deal, but it just irks me sometimes ha

Yeah that's a pretty common issue. :v

It can sometimes be the flipside of the "gay best friend" accessory syndrome that I noticed in a lot of my high school friendships with straight girls (pre-coming out). Honestly, I think that was the reason that I delayed my coming out until the last day of Grade 12.

I never really got that in my friendships, even though I came out as gay in 7th grade.

[Whittington]

Oh my God, we should, like, totally go out shopping or something!

After I came out, so many of my female friends wanted me to go shopping with them.

Granted, I do like the occasional trip to Ralph Lauren, Brooks Brother's and Neiman Marcus, but that's beside the point haha

I don't mind shopping with them, but since I'm gay, it makes me some sort of shopping/style guru. It's kinda funny/cute how much they value my input when it comes to shopping. Some asked me to go with them to get manicures/pedicures, and I was like "Yeah, no thanks." Not my cup of tea.

Interestingly enough, a lot of my guy friends ask me to go shopping with them so I can show them how to dress ha. I like to think I have good taste/style, so if I can help improve a buddy's wardrobe and appearance, then I'm happy to help

But back to the topic of GBF, yeah it makes a friend seem more like an accessory or the latest must have trend.

[Oneracon]

Yeah that's a pretty common issue. :v

It can sometimes be the flipside of the "gay best friend" accessory syndrome that I noticed in a lot of my high school friendships with straight girls (pre-coming out). Honestly, I think that was the reason that I delayed my coming out until the last day of Grade 12.

I never really got that in my friendships, even though I came out as gay in 7th grade.

It doesn't happen to everyone, that was just my personal experience.

[Furry Alairia and Algeria]

I never really got that in my friendships, even though I came out as gay in 7th grade.

It doesn't happen to everyone, that was just my personal experience.

True, but after I came out, I was basically like a pile of bricks just waiting to topple. I was really nervous back then, and to this day I wish sometimes I never did come out. I lost a few good friends that way, before realizing I was a Androphillic-leaning bisexual.

[Herrebrugh]

Oh my God, we should, like, totally go out shopping or something!

After I came out, so many of my female friends wanted me to go shopping with them.

Granted, I do like the occasional trip to Ralph Lauren, Brooks Brother's and Neiman Marcus, but that's beside the point haha

I don't mind shopping with them, but since I'm gay, it makes me some sort of shopping/style guru. It's kinda funny/cute how much they value my input when it comes to shopping. Some asked me to go with them to get manicures/pedicures, and I was like "Yeah, no thanks." Not my cup of tea.

Interestingly enough, a lot of my guy friends ask me to go shopping with them so I can show them how to dress ha. I like to think I have good taste/style, so if I can help improve a buddy's wardrobe and appearance, then I'm happy to help

But back to the topic of GBF, yeah it makes a friend seem more like an accessory or the latest must have trend.

Same for me. Too bad I fucking hate shopping for clothes, and doing so can do terrible things to my mood. In any case, these female class-mates (I wouldn't call them real friends, I prefer to hang out with guys, anyway) really did appear to see me as some kind of potential asset in realising an even better wardrobe. I hate the gay guys are fashion queens stereotype so much.

[Oneracon]

After I came out, so many of my female friends wanted me to go shopping with them.

Granted, I do like the occasional trip to Ralph Lauren, Brooks Brother's and Neiman Marcus, but that's beside the point haha

I don't mind shopping with them, but since I'm gay, it makes me some sort of shopping/style guru. It's kinda funny/cute how much they value my input when it comes to shopping. Some asked me to go with them to get manicures/pedicures, and I was like "Yeah, no thanks." Not my cup of tea.

Interestingly enough, a lot of my guy friends ask me to go shopping with them so I can show them how to dress ha. I like to think I have good taste/style, so if I can help improve a buddy's wardrobe and appearance, then I'm happy to help

But back to the topic of GBF, yeah it makes a friend seem more like an accessory or the latest must have trend.

Same for me. Too bad I fucking hate shopping for clothes, and doing so can do terrible things to my mood. In any case, these female class-mates (I wouldn't call them real friends, I prefer to hang out with guys, anyway) really did appear to see me as some kind of potential asset in realising an even better wardrobe. I hate the gay guys are fashion queens stereotype so much.

Shopping for clothes puts me to sleep, plus makes me super self-conscious about my appearance. Though if we're combing movies at HMV looking for that one thing on sale or browsing at EB Games wishing I wasn't a poor student... then I'm your guy.

Honestly, I don't know why some people (even now) think that I would give good fashion advice... my default style is jeans and hoodies

[Whittington]

Same for me. Too bad I fucking hate shopping for clothes, and doing so can do terrible things to my mood. In any case, these female class-mates (I wouldn't call them real friends, I prefer to hang out with guys, anyway) really did appear to see me as some kind of potential asset in realising an even better wardrobe. I hate the gay guys are fashion queens stereotype so much.

I hate that stereotype too.

Growing up in the backwoods, I often wore a lot of camo, hoodies, Wranglers, boots, baseball caps. That was my outfit more often than not. After I came out, I felt I could express myself more. So I started dressing up a bit more, the way I always wanted to, but didn't in fear of outing myself. I can describe my style as Classic American Prep. My closet is filled with button downs and fitted polo shirts. I got more boat shoes and loafers than I do boots now. My friends say I should be a poster boy for Ralph Lauren ha

However, I can go back and forth though when it comes to style. One day, I can be wearing a Oxford shirt, above the knee shorts and boat shoes, but the next day I can be in a fitted plain t-shirt, jeans and boots. Just depends. My husband prefers my preppy look over anything though.

But not all gay men are fashionistas. Take my husband for example. Before we got together, he was always dressed like he was going to the gym, and white socks with black sneakers. No thank you. Since then, I've bought him an entire new wardrobe and got him into wearing shoes other than Converse ha

I have seem some gay men, a lot actually, who could give two shits what they wear/look like. I've seem some who dress like they're walking the runway at Fashion Week. It all just depends to personal style and case.

When it all comes down to it, gay men, people in general really, don't fit into a cookie cut style as perceived by today's media. We're all different.

[Oneracon]

When it all comes down to it, gay men, people in general really, don't fit into a cookie cut style as perceived by today's media. We're all different.

Yup, that's really what everything boils down to.

Nothing annoys me more than when people who I actually have known for a while and interact with regularly go "OMG I didn't know you were gay!" with the unspoken implication that my behaviour didn't meet what was societally expected for gay men.

[Furry Alairia and Algeria]

When it all comes down to it, gay men, people in general really, don't fit into a cookie cut style as perceived by today's media. We're all different.

Yup, that's really what everything boils down to.

Nothing annoys me more than when people who I actually have known for a while and interact with regularly go "OMG I didn't know you were gay!" with the unspoken implication that my behaviour didn't meet what was societally expected for gay men.

That depends on how they use said statement.

[Whittington]

Yup, that's really what everything boils down to.

Nothing annoys me more than when people who I actually have known for a while and interact with regularly go "OMG I didn't know you were gay!" with the unspoken implication that my behaviour didn't meet what was societally expected for gay men.

That depends on how they use said statement.

Couldn't agree more.

A friend of a friend asked me "How can you be gay? You hunt and drive a truck."

Really? So because I'm gay, I can't go hunting and I have to drive...I dunno...a pink convertible or something

And with the statement "OMG I didn't know you were gay." Yeah it does depend on how it said and in whats setting. But from my experience, it's exactly what Oneracon said. They way I acted and lived didn't meet their expectations of what "gay" is to them, so it threw them off a bit.

I've also gotten "But you don't look gay". Which is just another topic in it's own right, one that's been discussed before and can once again come down to how diverse LGBT people can be and there isn't just one type of gay man.

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

When it all comes down to it, gay men, people in general really, don't fit into a cookie cut style as perceived by today's media. We're all different.

Yup, that's really what everything boils down to.

Nothing annoys me more than when people who I actually have known for a while and interact with regularly go "OMG I didn't know you were gay!" with the unspoken implication that my behaviour didn't meet what was societally expected for gay men.

Gay men do tend to dress better than me. In general. But so do all men. So... No point being made, really. Pfew.

No, you're totally right, and I get absolutely sick and tired of society making sexuality such a big deal. I mean, yeah, love is an important part of your life, but not in the way it's being presented. An idea is being presented as if there are two big boxes in which to put people. The heterosexuals (me included) can be normal, make their own life, have their own wishes and desires. But when someone is gay, they suddenly move to the gay box, and they have to comply with one societal ideal, one big mechanism under which all gay people must fall. It makes me want to make a speech or something, write a book. Sexuality is just a tiny part of someone. A big tiny part, but it is not the governing principle. It is just another character trait. Besides, it's not like sexuality is a fixed, absolute principle. It flows. At least, it should. The Greeks were absolutely amazing in this concept. They did not know homo- or heterosexuality. There was just sexuality (at least, in their literature). One was not defined by the gender he happened to fall in love with. Great stuff.

[Furry Alairia and Algeria]

That depends on how they use said statement.

Couldn't agree more.

A friend of a friend asked me "Hoe can you be gay? You hunt and drive a truck."

Really? So because I'm gay, I can't go hunting and I have to drive...I dunno...a pink convertible or something

And with the statement "OMG I didn't know you were gay." Yeah it does depend on how it said and in whats setting. But from my experience, it's exactly what Oneracon said. They way I acted and lived didn't meet their expectations of what "gay" is to them, so it threw them off a bit.

I've also gotten "But you don't look gay". Which is just another topic in it's own right, one that's been discussed before and can once again come down to how diverse LGBT people can be and there isn't just one type of gay man.

It's pretty obvious I'm gay, or at least more effeminate. I despise hunting, I despise going out of civilization, I don't do too much work, and I walk and run kinda effeminate. However I have gotten the "OMG I never knew you were gay" because I have dated women before, but then I realized that I had a thing for males.

I always wanted to be no.1 friend with other people, mainly guy, but I usually went the extra mile or too far and sounded like I was attracted to them >_>

But I absolutely despise it when someone labels me as a GBF, "Because I know fashion", even though my fashion tastes are terrible and I look like someone from the Soviet Union without the fur. It's like something that'll make me throw you out of my apartment window.

Not to mention the vegetarianism for me piles on to the things that make me look effeminate >_>

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

That depends on how they use said statement.

Couldn't agree more.

A friend of a friend asked me "How can you be gay? You hunt and drive a truck."

Really? So because I'm gay, I can't go hunting and I have to drive...I dunno...a pink convertible or something

And with the statement "OMG I didn't know you were gay." Yeah it does depend on how it said and in whats setting. But from my experience, it's exactly what Oneracon said. They way I acted and lived didn't meet their expectations of what "gay" is to them, so it threw them off a bit.

I've also gotten "But you don't look gay". Which is just another topic in it's own right, one that's been discussed before and can once again come down to how diverse LGBT people can be and there isn't just one type of gay man.

I absolutely know how you feel, because I've had the same thing. But in reverse. Being a heterosexual male comes with stereotypes aplenty. I should like beer and cars and naked women and lawn mowers and sports. But besides the naked women, that's all nothing for me. I like the cinema, my coat, my girl_friends. I don't drink, mostly because I like ice tea better. I can talk about all sorts of problems, and my well of feelings goes just as deep as any person. I've been called gay for this. And it's horrifying for both sides. Neither of us should have to conform to some ideal of what our sexualities are. Yet, society puts these moulds over us, and expects us to be one way or another. In this sense, we are all victims of anti-LGBT bigotry. You far more than I, of course, but still...

[Whittington]

I absolutely know how you feel, because I've had the same thing. But in reverse. Being a heterosexual male comes with stereotypes aplenty. I should like beer and cars and naked women and lawn mowers and sports. But besides the naked women, that's all nothing for me. I like the cinema, my coat, my girl_friends. I don't drink, mostly because I like ice tea better. I can talk about all sorts of problems, and my well of feelings goes just as deep as any person. I've been called gay for this. And it's horrifying for both sides. Neither of us should have to conform to some ideal of what our sexualities are. Yet, society puts these moulds over us, and expects us to be one way or another. In this sense, we are all victims of anti-LGBT bigotry. You far more than I, of course, but still...

I hope that when I have kids and they grow up, things won't still be this way. Where can people can be who they without having to be labled or meet other's expectations.

Live and let live.

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

I absolutely know how you feel, because I've had the same thing. But in reverse. Being a heterosexual male comes with stereotypes aplenty. I should like beer and cars and naked women and lawn mowers and sports. But besides the naked women, that's all nothing for me. I like the cinema, my coat, my girl_friends. I don't drink, mostly because I like ice tea better. I can talk about all sorts of problems, and my well of feelings goes just as deep as any person. I've been called gay for this. And it's horrifying for both sides. Neither of us should have to conform to some ideal of what our sexualities are. Yet, society puts these moulds over us, and expects us to be one way or another. In this sense, we are all victims of anti-LGBT bigotry. You far more than I, of course, but still...

I hope that when I have kids and they grow up, things won't still be this way. Where can people can be who they without having to be labled or meet other's expectations.

Live and let live.

When the day comes that I can say 'I'm a heterosexual' and people will ask 'what's that, then?', I will be a happier man. Because everyone is a bisexual in some way or another. Some have a more expressed taste. Oh, when doth come the day...

[Nature-Spirits]

So, Planet Fitness is awesome

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2015/03/07/gy ... -customer/

Very good for planet fitness. I'm fine with someone having concerns, and I don't think I would deny that there may be some men out there who might actually claim transgender and present as a woman, just to sneak a peek. However I believe there are also ways around that particular issue. Why not have someone that identifies as the opposite gender from which they were born, present a letter from a physician and / or psychologist, as proof that they actually do identify as such? That seems that it would be a fair way to go about addressing that particular issue as I doubt anyone that just wants to sneak a peek would go to those lengths just do so. I could be wrong, but that is just how I see it personally.

See, that's all well and good in theory, but the thing is that for trans people, there's often a lot of gatekeeping medically -- which means that a lot of doctors seem to want to do everything they can to prove you're not really trans, or something. I'm not altogether sure why they make it so difficult, but transphobia and lack of awareness of gender diversity seem to be the major causes. Also, a lot of trans people simply haven't been able to see any medical professionals about being trans at all.

RE GBF fad: It fucking pisses me off. I'm not closeted as gay at school (I am closeted as genderfluid, but that's a separate issue), but generally, I don't tell anyone my sexual orientation unless they ask me (which has happened a few times). Mostly, I just let people figure it out for themselves, and in that way, I've often been able to avoid the whole "coming out" thing. (It also helps that everyone I know from Grades 7 and 8 already knew, so when I moved back here and joined the high school I didn't have to explain it to anyone). Part of it is that I don't think my sexuality is really relevant to my friendships with people, but part of it is to avoid the whole "gay best friend" thing. There's one particularly notable gay guy at my school whom everyone knows, and he's practically built a cult of personality around himself -- but guess what? All anyone knows about him (except for his close friends, a group that I thankfully don't belong to) is that he's gay. And he plays up the stereotypes, too, I think (I mean, I guess I live up to a shitload of gay stereotypes, too, and if someone is legitimately being themself while being stereotypical, all the more power to them; however, it seems obvious to me that he exaggerates them).

I should note, though, that being genderfluid, I actually love shopping for clothes typical of any gender, so that doesn't bother me at all (it does make me sad, though, when I see a really pretty piece of clothing and I can't afford it). What does bother me is that a lot of my straight girl friends (those who know that I'm gay, that is) seem to think that being gay means that I'm an expert at love and relationships. Despite the fact that I've never actually been in a relationship. I don't know why they think that the single virgin will give good relationship advice, but I do my best to think, What would I do? and go from there. *sigh* It does get pretty annoying, honestly.

[Herrebrugh]

I hope that when I have kids and they grow up, things won't still be this way. Where can people can be who they without having to be labled or meet other's expectations.

Live and let live.

When the day comes that I can say 'I'm a heterosexual' and people will ask 'what's that, then?', I will be a happier man. Because everyone is a bisexual in some way or another. Some have a more expressed taste. Oh, when doth come the day...

I'm willing to believe you. It's hard when you've never found a woman remotely attractive, though.

And I've actually tried to...

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

When the day comes that I can say 'I'm a heterosexual' and people will ask 'what's that, then?', I will be a happier man. Because everyone is a bisexual in some way or another. Some have a more expressed taste. Oh, when doth come the day...

I'm willing to believe you. It's hard when you've never found a woman remotely attractive, though.

And I've actually tried to...

Oh, yeah, and you might like women to such a small extent that it is not even noticeable. But when you meet someone you love to the core, does their gender matter? Gender is becoming increasingly void as science progresses. Eventually, what will gender mean to us? I hope that this development brings with it the breaking of the barriers. Just like you could possibly be attracted to women, I could possibly be attracted to men. Haven't found one to achieve that, but everyone should keep that possibility open.

[Sun Wukong]

When the day comes that I can say 'I'm a heterosexual' and people will ask 'what's that, then?', I will be a happier man. Because everyone is a bisexual in some way or another. Some have a more expressed taste. Oh, when doth come the day...

I'm willing to believe you. It's hard when you've never found a woman remotely attractive, though.

And I've actually tried to...

Similar but reversed condition here.

I'm willing to concede that there are some typically masculine features that I find attractive, but it's not enough to carry me into a love of penis. My own excluded.

[Nature-Spirits]

I'm willing to believe you. It's hard when you've never found a woman remotely attractive, though.

And I've actually tried to...

Oh, yeah, and you might like women to such a small extent that it is not even noticeable. But when you meet someone you love to the core, does their gender matter? Gender is becoming increasingly void as science progresses. Eventually, what will gender mean to us? I hope that this development brings with it the breaking of the barriers. Just like you could possibly be attracted to women, I could possibly be attracted to men. Haven't found one to achieve that, but everyone should keep that possibility open.

Technically, romantic and sexual attraction aren't the same thing. Even if I find myself loving a woman, that doesn't mean I would want to have sex with her.

[Herrebrugh]

I'm willing to believe you. It's hard when you've never found a woman remotely attractive, though.

And I've actually tried to...

Oh, yeah, and you might like women to such a small extent that it is not even noticeable. But when you meet someone you love to the core, does their gender matter? Gender is becoming increasingly void as science progresses. Eventually, what will gender mean to us? I hope that this development brings with it the breaking of the barriers. Just like you could possibly be attracted to women, I could possibly be attracted to men. Haven't found one to achieve that, but everyone should keep that possibility open.

And yet, the idea of being in bed with a woman repulses me. So at least sexually that highly likely won't ever happen...

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

Oh, yeah, and you might like women to such a small extent that it is not even noticeable. But when you meet someone you love to the core, does their gender matter? Gender is becoming increasingly void as science progresses. Eventually, what will gender mean to us? I hope that this development brings with it the breaking of the barriers. Just like you could possibly be attracted to women, I could possibly be attracted to men. Haven't found one to achieve that, but everyone should keep that possibility open.

Technically, romantic and sexual attraction aren't the same thing. Even if I find myself loving a woman, that doesn't mean I would want to have sex with her.

Oh, no, of course! Completely reasonable. But right now, even that possibility of you loving a woman is deemed nigh impossible. The closed labels of sexuality and love really don't reflect the truth of the situation. People should let go of that idea that 'if you love someone romantically, you must therefore want to have sex with them'. The whole thing is an area of greys, all shades of them. Not just white and black.

[Herrebrugh]

Technically, romantic and sexual attraction aren't the same thing. Even if I find myself loving a woman, that doesn't mean I would want to have sex with her.

Oh, no, of course! Completely reasonable. But right now, even that possibility of you loving a woman is deemed nigh impossible. The closed labels of sexuality and love really don't reflect the truth of the situation. People should let go of that idea that 'if you love someone romantically, you must therefore want to have sex with them'. The whole thing is an area of greys, all shades of them. Not just white and black.

I haven't experienced any type of crush that didn't also feature sexuality, so yeah. How would that work?

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

Oh, yeah, and you might like women to such a small extent that it is not even noticeable. But when you meet someone you love to the core, does their gender matter? Gender is becoming increasingly void as science progresses. Eventually, what will gender mean to us? I hope that this development brings with it the breaking of the barriers. Just like you could possibly be attracted to women, I could possibly be attracted to men. Haven't found one to achieve that, but everyone should keep that possibility open.

And yet, the idea of being in bed with a woman repulses me. So at least sexually that highly likely won't ever happen...

The same with me and men. But that may be because I haven't found a worthy one yet or something. I'm likely never going to land in bed with one, that's for sure.

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

Oh, no, of course! Completely reasonable. But right now, even that possibility of you loving a woman is deemed nigh impossible. The closed labels of sexuality and love really don't reflect the truth of the situation. People should let go of that idea that 'if you love someone romantically, you must therefore want to have sex with them'. The whole thing is an area of greys, all shades of them. Not just white and black.

I haven't experienced any type of crush that didn't also feature sexuality, so yeah. How would that work?

I did have such a crush, and it's... Well... I don't know how to put it. It's almost an art. It feels like you're in a book. The feeling of to linked personalities, without the sexual desire. It can happen.