Is Santa Real?

[Fartsniffage]

Wait, you mean like the slave labor force that works all year for no money, no rewards, and is possibly homeless? Yeah, if Santa was real he wouldn't be some kindly old man, he'd essentially be the Shah. Enforcing overly cruel standards in his country while essentially bribing foreigners to look the other way.

As if that isn't bad enough, he watches you while you sleep and proceeded to call you a whore several times before stealing your milk and cookies.

No dear, that was just you.

[Republic of Greater America]

Almost all that needs to be said about the existence of Santa Claus -

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
"Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
"Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'
"Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

"VIRGINIA O'HANLON.
"115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET."

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Cool story bro. You'd make a great orator.

[Fartsniffage]

Almost all that needs to be said about the existence of Santa Claus -

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old.
"Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
"Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.'
"Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?

"VIRGINIA O'HANLON.
"115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET."

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Cool story bro. You'd make a great orator.

Not mine I'm afraid.

I wish it was.

[The Corparation]

Of course Santa is real.NORAD tracks the bastard every year as he blatantly violates US Airspace. I'm still confused why they've never launched Interceptors.

[Tekania]

Of course Santa is real.NORAD tracks the bastard every year as he blatantly violates US Airspace. I'm still confused why they've never launched Interceptors.

We have, but we have yet to successfully work out the kinks in our AIM-120RF AMRAM specifically adapted to home in on reindeer farts.

I blame the out-sourcing to South America. I have a feeling their not testing it with the right farts there.

[Thafoo]

Of course Santa is real.NORAD tracks the bastard every year as he blatantly violates US Airspace. I'm still confused why they've never launched Interceptors.

It's because Sanaa makes sure they can't shoot him down. Kindly old Sanaa.

[Occupied Deutschland]

Of course Santa is real.NORAD tracks the bastard every year as he blatantly violates US Airspace. I'm still confused why they've never launched Interceptors.

We have, but we have yet to successfully work out the kinks in our AIM-120RF AMRAM specifically adapted to home in on reindeer farts.

I blame the out-sourcing to South America. I have a feeling their not testing it with the right farts there.

The Air Force magazine was talking about that in their last issue. Apparently there was a whistleblower that came out, they were using alpaca-farts to program the seeker heads, assuming the difference in consistency would average out.

The contractor has promised reforms, but you know how these things go.

[Tekania]

We have, but we have yet to successfully work out the kinks in our AIM-120RF AMRAM specifically adapted to home in on reindeer farts.

I blame the out-sourcing to South America. I have a feeling their not testing it with the right farts there.

The Air Force magazine was talking about that in their last issue. Apparently there was a whistleblower that came out, they were using alpaca-farts to program the seeker heads, assuming the difference in consistency would average out.

The contractor has promised reforms, but you know how these things go.

The Senate Armed Services committee is presently holding hearings on it as well. As the senate is now involved it is guaranteed to increase the time necessary to get a fix by another 10-15 years.

[The Corparation]

Of course Santa is real.NORAD tracks the bastard every year as he blatantly violates US Airspace. I'm still confused why they've never launched Interceptors.

It's because Sanaa makes sure they can't shoot him down. Kindly old Sanaa.

I blame Johnson and his Bitch. If he hadn't escalated the Vietnam war we'd have had the cash to bring the YF-12 into production. Have fun trying to outrun a high altitude Mach 3 Fighter capable of engaging targets flying at low level with Nuclear tipped Air to Air Missiles you fat bastard.

[Thafoo]

It's because Sanaa makes sure they can't shoot him down. Kindly old Sanaa.

I blame Johnson and his Bitch. If he hadn't escalated the Vietnam war we'd have had the cash to bring the YF-12 into production. Have fun trying to outrun a high altitude Mach 3 Fighter capable of engaging targets flying at low level with Nuclear tipped Air to Air Missiles you fat bastard.

If worst comes to worst we can always accelerate global warming to the point that Santa's Workshop is equivalent to Atlantis.

[Fartsniffage]

The Air Force magazine was talking about that in their last issue. Apparently there was a whistleblower that came out, they were using alpaca-farts to program the seeker heads, assuming the difference in consistency would average out.

The contractor has promised reforms, but you know how these things go.

The Senate Armed Services committee is presently holding hearings on it as well. As the senate is now involved it is guaranteed to increase the time necessary to get a fix by another 10-15 years.

RADAR tracking of organic matter travelling over the speed of magic is always going to cause difficulty though.

[Tekania]

The Senate Armed Services committee is presently holding hearings on it as well. As the senate is now involved it is guaranteed to increase the time necessary to get a fix by another 10-15 years.

RADAR tracking of organic matter travelling over the speed of magic is always going to cause difficulty though.

Yes, but the only thing more complicated than magical travel of organic materials is when you involve politicians in a committee over it.

[Ostroeuropa]

I am santa. See the pic?

Bet you never knew I was a pegasus. It's how I get all over the world in one night.

[Transnapastain]

Of course Santa is real.NORAD tracks the bastard every year as he blatantly violates US Airspace. I'm still confused why they've never launched Interceptors.

What am about to show you is classified top secret. It contains information that the United States military is complicent in the destruction of Santa Claus, and has therefore ruined Christmas.

The below image is an artist conception of what leaked images of the interception of Santa's sleigh may have looked like.

Shocking. I have lost all faith in my nation.

[God Kefka]

When even moderators join in the spamming and derailing of this particular thread... you know it has long lost any semblance of traction/coherence.

[Lianhua (Ancient)]

I am santa. See the pic?

Bet you never knew I was a pegasus. It's how I get all over the world in one night.

So Santa, you're an equine with twelve reindeer at your command?

[Soldati Senza Confini]

I am santa. See the pic?

Bet you never knew I was a pegasus. It's how I get all over the world in one night.

So Santa, you're an equine with twelve reindeer at your command?

Or he could be an alpaca.

I do blame alpacas for destroying christmas, yes, I said it; the Alpacas also are conspiring with me and a couple of other splinter groups to bring Santa on his knees since he did not give me the gift I wanted when I was a child.

[Ausira]

I am santa. See the pic?

Bet you never knew I was a pegasus. It's how I get all over the world in one night.

One of my favorite posters posted in my thread!

Of course Santa is real.NORAD tracks the bastard every year as he blatantly violates US Airspace. I'm still confused why they've never launched Interceptors.

/quote]

A Mod posted in my thread!


I'm special.

Santa should be praised as if he were a God. Why? Because, he is. There is evidence. Explain Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, he had to go through prejudice to become a prophet of the Santa Claus. All heil Rudolph, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer Comet, Cupid, Donder, Vixen, Blitzen, and Richard Nixon. Why Nixon? He's a reindeer, of course. Now, he ownsh the banksh. He ish not a chrook.

[Terra Sector Union]

He is an absolute fake. A gluttonous Gift God that calls for blood.

[Universal Socialism]

Sorry to disappoint you but spiratuatality is a poor excuse for evidence. Unless you have solid evidence theirs no reason we should take you seriously. If were supposed to believe things without question we might as well have all bowed down to Hitlers ayrian invasion theory (which is not only racist, but was also later proved false). As for the NORAD evidence their not saying that theirs actually Santa Claws up there. Its just an event they do for fun so people don't have such a sour opinion when they hear things about NORAD. I already provided some reasons to debunk Santa on page 7 of the forum, and the only answer i got was magic which is not credible nor can it be taken seriously by the vasy majority of people. As for the historical belief don't forget that centuries ago people were extremely uneducated, and believed anything even if it was absolutely ricidulous. As for all of you who don't believe Santa is real good for you I'm glad to see their are other sane people here.

[DesAnges]

Of course Santa is real.NORAD tracks the bastard every year as he blatantly violates US Airspace. I'm still confused why they've never launched Interceptors.

What am about to show you is classified top secret. It contains information that the United States military is complicent in the destruction of Santa Claus, and has therefore ruined Christmas.

The below image is an artist conception of what leaked images of the interception of Santa's sleigh may have looked like.

Shocking. I have lost all faith in my nation.

Thanks Obama.

[DrakoLand]

If he isn't real who brought me presents and ate all my melomakarona and kourabiedes?

[Soldati Senza Confini]

If he isn't real who brought me presents and ate all my melomakarona and kourabiedes?

Obama did it.

[Big Jim P]

Yes I am.

What? Santa? I thought you said "Satan".

NVM.

[Universal Socialism]

Of course Santa is real.NORAD tracks the bastard every year as he blatantly violates US Airspace. I'm still confused why they've never launched Interceptors.

What am about to show you is classified top secret. It contains information that the United States military is complicent in the destruction of Santa Claus, and has therefore ruined Christmas.

The below image is an artist conception of what leaked images of the interception of Santa's sleigh may have looked like.

Shocking. I have lost all faith in my nation.

Lets just assume for a moment Santa was real so i can play along. Quite frankly i don't see this as a bad thing considering, that if Santa were real he uses slave labo and breaks into people's homes as well as being baised influencing politics. However Santa isn't real so this never happened, and i assume that this is a joke.