War on Christmas

[WWII History Geeks]

In any case, have a merry Yule, the lot of you.

It's Merry Christmas. Here, I'll fix it for you.

In any case, have a merry YuleChristmas, the lot of you.

[The Alma Mater]

In any case, have a merry Yule, the lot of you.

It's Merry Christmas. Here, I'll fix it for you.

In any case, have a merry YuleChristmas, the lot of you.

Why do you hate tradition ? Must you steal everything from the poor pagans ? You already took their riches, their books, their trees, their wives and their children. Let them have their winterfestival that has been around longer than the JHWH myth

[WWII History Geeks]

In any case, have a merry Yule, the lot of you.

It's Merry Christmas. Here, I'll fix it for you.

In any case, have a merry YuleChristmas, the lot of you.

Why do you hate tradition ? Must you steal everything from the poor pagans ? You already took their riches, their books, their trees, their wives and their children. Let them have their winterfestival that has been around longer than the JHWH myth

Nope! Too mean for that. Got a streak to maintain.

[Warp Dwellers]

I follow the Mulist method: "Have a great day!"

Mulism: The religion devoted to being an ass to people that deserve it, and no one else.

[The Alma Mater]

In any case, have a merry Yule, the lot of you.

It's Merry Christmas. Here, I'll fix it for you.

In any case, have a merry YuleChristmas, the lot of you.

Why do you hate tradition ? Must you steal everything from the poor pagans ? You already took their riches, their books, their trees, their wives and their children. Let them have their winterfestival that has been around longer than the JHWH myth

Nope! Too mean for that. Got a streak to maintain.

Butbut... it's Christmas (Yule, Saturnalia, winterfestival, etc) ! Have a heart !

[WWII History Geeks]

Where's the fun in that?

[Allanea]

Let them have their winterfestival that has been around longer than the JHWH myth

No, it hasn't. The earliest mentions of Yuletide are from the 4th century, AD. The belief in Jehovah had at this time been around for many centuries.

[Heaven Hieghts]

Go Hessians!

[Blouman Empire]

Here is a list of emblems that the government will use for headstones.

Nice to see Catholics left out of this.

Also why is that the Atheist symbol?

That's the symbol for an organization called American Atheists. Personally, I hate that symbol, even though I'm an atheist. Good thing I'm not in the military.

Why is that the symbol? Probably because there isn't a more well known one.

So shouldn't that only be for people who are apart of that organisation?

Or is that organisation so arrogant to think that all atheists have the same beleifs as them?

[Blouman Empire]

And why that symbol?

Really people should be able to choose what they want not just labelled with a symbol

[The Alma Mater]

And why that symbol?

It is merely an example of a better know atheist symbol than the one displayed on US graves. Atheism has no universally accepted symbol, since atheism merely states one lacks belief in a deity and nothing more specific about how they live their life - contrary to e.g. Christians or muslims.

[Blouman Empire]

And why that symbol?

It is merely an example of a better know atheist symbol than the one displayed on US graves. Atheism has no universally accepted symbol, since atheism merely states one lacks belief in a deity and nothing more specific about how they live their life - contrary to e.g. Christians or muslims.

Yes fair enough, so why have a symbol at all?

And if one is needed since it is for war vetrens why not just bury them under the symbol of the American Flag of seal of the US or something?

[Big Jim P]

I follow the Mulist method: "Have a great day!"

Mulism: The religion devoted to being an ass to people that deserve it, and no one else.

All non-Muslims?

[Callisdrun]

I look at Christmas as a cultural thing for me, not a religious thing. Although my sister tends to make it awkward by bringing "Jesus" into it even though she knows how strong an Atheist I am...

So what you are saying is you want your sister to celebrate it in accordance with your beliefs?

No, I just want her not to force it on me. I can handle a little here and there but she tries to make me go to church,sing the more Christian Christmas songs, pray before eating, ect. I respect her beliefs but she tends to not respect mine...

That's because the more religious christmas songs are better.

They are, so are the decorations really...My Pagan mother even puts them up...And my sister's the same way with Christianity...

Personally, I see it as an opportunity to make Mary Whore jokes, and question why the animals were put out to starve/freeze to death in the winter,

Jesus is my homie. And Mary is my ho.

Seriously, I'm a pagan and I love the traditional Christmas carols. Musically they just sound so much better to me than all the modern pop crap. The part of Christmas shopping I'm dreading is hearing "Jingle Bell Rock" again. That song makes me want to flay whoever wrote it alive.

[Flameswroth]

The part of Christmas shopping I'm dreading is hearing "Jingle Bell Rock" again. That song makes me want to flay whoever wrote it alive.

Word. Just after Thanksgiving a local radio station started playing 24/7 Christmas music, and every time I turn it on it seems to be some rendition of 'Jingle Bell Rock', 'Let it Snow' or 'Jingle Bells'. Enough to drive one up the wall sometimes. I love when they play the real Christmas songs though

[Intangelon]

Not this shit again.

Thanks, Wilgrove. You just had to post this bullshit? Really?

Yea, when you have someone pointing a gun at your head forcing you to read my threads, then you can bitch. Until then, just don't post in the topic if it upsets you, it's just that simple.

It doesn't upset me, Willy. It's just beneath you, is all. Sure, you're the king of the "no shit?" thread, but come on.

[Intangelon]

Not this shit again.

Thanks, Wilgrove. You just had to post this bullshit? Really?

You were forced to read the thread and reply to it? Really?

Well, if it were anyone but Wilgrove, I'd probably have left it alone, but Willy has a truly annoying habit of posting the glaringly obvious or topics that have been done to death.

Maybe you should start leaving his threads alone even though they're by him? The mods might decide this habit of yours is actionable harassment.

They might decide you're a walnut, but they probably won't. Tell you what, follow your own advice.

[Intangelon]

People can beleive what they want to believe. In the US. For now atleast.


I will be chilling with family as usual.

Ah, Holiday on Ice.

[New Bannana Land]

Isn't Christmas all just a lie? Isn't it just here to make our children spoiled if we can afford to and force ourselves to be happy for one day?

[Intangelon]

Somebody had the temerity to send me this awful corruption of Twas the Night Before Christmas, and I responded at the end.

First, the original bullshit:

********************************************************

Subject: How the 'Left' Stole Christmas

Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.

See the Political Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.

It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a "Holiday".
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!

CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.

As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears
You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.

Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!

At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace

The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.

So as you celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree"
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday!

********************************************************

I'm never one to enjoy ANYone telling me what I can or can't say, so I had to fire back with something that castigated BOTH sides. And something which actually made an attempt to follow the meter of the original poem. Why are right-wing satirists so bad at stuff like this? Perhaps it's because they are against the funding of arts and arts education.

Regardless, enjoy!

Screw 'em both:

Of wit, verse and horse sense, the Right is bereft
For Christmas's stealing wasn't done by the Left
The thieving of Christmas began with consumption --
If you're threatened by Kwanzaa, you just have no gumption

If the meaning of Christmas isn't presents and trinkets
Quit your whining, stop buying, and DO as you THINK it
Don't sit there just parroting, claiming a "war"
'Cause ratings for pundits are all that's good for

A "war against Christmas" is hullaballoo
Like the wars on drugs, crime, terror -- poverty, too
To claim corporatization's never happened before
And to suddenly gripe, well, that's hardly a war

It was there in your workplaces, there in your schools
It was under your noses, it was written in rules
Rules YOU allowed to pass without looking
But it's nothing sinister, no evil's a-cooking

See, not everyone walking the great land of ours
Believes in fear-whoring and out-worldly powers
Some folks think that God sent his Son here to please us
E pluribus unum, but not all go for Jesus

Though diversity taken to far's not so great
Far worse would be Church running off with the State
On the other hand, animists, Muslims and Jews,
The mass of you here wouldn't fill half the pews

Of the Lutherans, Catholics, Baptists and Presby's
Or the good Unitarians, who let in the Lesbies
So join them -- they'll ask -- drink some ‘nog from their cup
And if you don't like it, please shut the f*** up

That goes double for Hannity – triple for Rush
And Coulter, O'Reilly, and Larsen and Drudge
I can name more names, too, like Bush and Santorum
Oh, but he lost his seat, I guess that's bad decorum

In fact, BOTH sides of Christmastide's "war" need to shove it
There's no need to hate it, but we don't HAVE to love it
And that's just the point of living here in the States
You're free to decide to which gods you relate

So say "Merry Christmas" -- say whatever you like
Any head that complains belongs stuck on a pike
But a similar fate is deserved by the masses
Who do little for Christ more than bray like jackasses

Whether faithful or heathen, it's just plain absurd
To be threatened OR weaponed by those two simple words.

Merry Whatever!

[Flameswroth]

Somebody had the temerity to send me this awful corruption of Twas the Night Before Christmas, and I responded at the end.

Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.

See the Political Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.

It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a "Holiday".
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!

CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.

As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears
You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.

Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!

At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace

The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.

So as you celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree"
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday!

Of wit, verse and horse sense, the Right is bereft
For Christmas's stealing wasn't done by the Left
The thieving of Christmas began with consumption --
If you're threatened by Kwanzaa, you just have no gumption

If the meaning of Christmas isn't presents and trinkets
Quit your whining, stop buying, and DO as you THINK it
Don't sit there just parroting, claiming a "war"
'Cause ratings for pundits are all that's good for

A "war against Christmas" is hullaballoo
Like the wars on drugs, crime, terror -- poverty, too
To claim corporatization's never happened before
And to suddenly gripe, well, that's hardly a war

It was there in your workplaces, there in your schools
It was under your noses, it was written in rules
Rules YOU allowed to pass without looking
But it's nothing sinister, no evil's a-cooking

See, not everyone walking the great land of ours
Believes in fear-whoring and out-worldly powers
Some folks think that God sent his Son here to please us
E pluribus unum, but not all go for Jesus

Though diversity taken to far's not so great
Far worse would be Church running off with the State
On the other hand, animists, Muslims and Jews,
The mass of you here wouldn't fill half the pews

Of the Lutherans, Catholics, Baptists and Presby's
Or the good Unitarians, who let in the Lesbies
So join them -- they'll ask -- drink some ‘nog from their cup
And if you don't like it, please shut the f*** up

That goes double for Hannity – triple for Rush
And Coulter, O'Reilly, and Larsen and Drudge
I can name more names, too, like Bush and Santorum
Oh, but he lost his seat, I guess that's bad decorum

In fact, BOTH sides of Christmastide's "war" need to shove it
There's no need to hate it, but we don't HAVE to love it
And that's just the point of living here in the States
You're free to decide to which gods you relate

So say "Merry Christmas" -- say whatever you like
Any head that complains belongs stuck on a pike
But a similar fate is deserved by the masses
Who do little for Christ more than bray like jackasses

Whether faithful or heathen, it's just plain absurd
To be threatened OR weaponed by those two simple words.

Merry Whatever!

[Intangelon]

Somebody had the temerity to send me this awful corruption of Twas the Night Before Christmas, and I responded at the end.

Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.

See the Political Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.

It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a "Holiday".
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!

CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.

As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears
You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.

Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!

At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace

The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.

So as you celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree"
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday!

Of wit, verse and horse sense, the Right is bereft
For Christmas's stealing wasn't done by the Left
The thieving of Christmas began with consumption --
If you're threatened by Kwanzaa, you just have no gumption

If the meaning of Christmas isn't presents and trinkets
Quit your whining, stop buying, and DO as you THINK it
Don't sit there just parroting, claiming a "war"
'Cause ratings for pundits are all that's good for

A "war against Christmas" is hullaballoo
Like the wars on drugs, crime, terror -- poverty, too
To claim corporatization's never happened before
And to suddenly gripe, well, that's hardly a war

It was there in your workplaces, there in your schools
It was under your noses, it was written in rules
Rules YOU allowed to pass without looking
But it's nothing sinister, no evil's a-cooking

See, not everyone walking the great land of ours
Believes in fear-whoring and out-worldly powers
Some folks think that God sent his Son here to please us
E pluribus unum, but not all go for Jesus

Though diversity taken to far's not so great
Far worse would be Church running off with the State
On the other hand, animists, Muslims and Jews,
The mass of you here wouldn't fill half the pews

Of the Lutherans, Catholics, Baptists and Presby's
Or the good Unitarians, who let in the Lesbies
So join them -- they'll ask -- drink some ‘nog from their cup
And if you don't like it, please shut the f*** up

That goes double for Hannity – triple for Rush
And Coulter, O'Reilly, and Larsen and Drudge
I can name more names, too, like Bush and Santorum
Oh, but he lost his seat, I guess that's bad decorum

In fact, BOTH sides of Christmastide's "war" need to shove it
There's no need to hate it, but we don't HAVE to love it
And that's just the point of living here in the States
You're free to decide to which gods you relate

So say "Merry Christmas" -- say whatever you like
Any head that complains belongs stuck on a pike
But a similar fate is deserved by the masses
Who do little for Christ more than bray like jackasses

Whether faithful or heathen, it's just plain absurd
To be threatened OR weaponed by those two simple words.

Merry Whatever!

[Warp Dwellers]

I follow the Mulist method: "Have a great day!"

Mulism: The religion devoted to being an ass to people that deserve it, and no one else.

All non-Muslims?

No, no, not Muslim, Mulism. The way of the Mule.

[Milks Empire]

I follow the Mulist method: "Have a great day!"
Mulism: The religion devoted to being an ass to people that deserve it, and no one else.

All non-Muslims?

No, no, not Muslim, Mulism. The way of the Mule.

I was wondering when the explanation came in.

[Warp Dwellers]

I follow the Mulist method: "Have a great day!"
Mulism: The religion devoted to being an ass to people that deserve it, and no one else.

All non-Muslims?

No, no, not Muslim, Mulism. The way of the Mule.

I was wondering when the explanation came in.

In retrospect, I should have seen the assumption of a typo coming.
Mulism: Half-ass is our way of life!