General Girl Advice

[Stern des Meeres]

Wow, it's nice to hear someone else is interested in it, too. I think next year I might wear one during Ramadan, just as an experiment.

Please don't use it as "an experiment." You will receive endless hell from hijabis. Wear it around the house, run around like a fuckking loon to make sure you can get it properly secured and put pins back in when they inevitably fall out without a mirror, and decide whether or not you can handle being stared at. Then commit to it.

Thanks for your advice; that's the most help I've gotten regarding this. By "experiment" I mean as a cultural experience.

[Ostroeuropa]

I find that hard to believe, Alix. And I mean it as a compliment.

It is the absolute truth. I am as basically as girly as possible irl.

...
Well, we found something in common.

[Stern des Meeres]

Girls tell each other everything. Don't ask one of us something you don't want the others of us to know.

So it's a spy network.

Basically.

[The French Revolutionaries]

So it's a spy network.

Basically.

[Fartsniffage]

Why on earth wouldn't you talk to a friends girlfriend?

Because, I like girls, in general.

Honestly, now I know it equals death, and is worse than a decision to eat poison.

Ah. I think we're back to the age thing again.

These days my friends partners are all from different social circles.

[Pasovo-nacoBo]

Well, it was part from my experience, and sadly Guy Code.
It goes under "don't talk to any of you friend's girlfriend's."
Pretty much.

In what way?

Well, assuming you're a boy. I believe you were already talking to a friend's girlfriend.

Basically, don't get too close. Unless you were a friend with her before, she is offically not your friend. If you develop a friendship with your friend's girlfriend, then most likely your friend (or his/her girlfriend) might think "something's up."

Just saying, from my past experience, and then Guy Code..

[Stern des Meeres]

Personally, I like chivalry. I'm your lady, not your dog. Also not all girls like to have everything done for them. Guys with a good sense of humor, charismatic, clean, sweet, caring, and somewhat outgoing are attractive to me, however, shy guys are adorable as well.

I like politeness, but chivalry? Naw.
I am not some damsel-in-distress waiting to be rescued by a knight in shining armor.

[Stern des Meeres]

Basically.

I'm...I'm really not kidding.

[The French Revolutionaries]

I'm...I'm really not kidding.

[Fartsniffage]

Personally, I like chivalry. I'm your lady, not your dog. Also not all girls like to have everything done for them. Guys with a good sense of humor, charismatic, clean, sweet, caring, and somewhat outgoing are attractive to me, however, shy guys are adorable as well.

Why aren't more people like you?

Most of them are.

[Pasovo-nacoBo]

Personally, I like chivalry. I'm your lady, not your dog. Also not all girls like to have everything done for them. Guys with a good sense of humor, charismatic, clean, sweet, caring, and somewhat outgoing are attractive to me, however, shy guys are adorable as well.

Why aren't more people like you?

Exactly.
What?
Why? What happened to you people? Come back!

[Cannot think of a name]

Rule 1: Don't tell the girl you love that you want to ask for girl advice.

And most importantly, NEVER ask a friend's girlfriend either, or you'll end up with most likely nobody in the end.

Interesting. I figured the first part, but not the second.

Well, look man...if you're asking what chicks dig then you're looking to conform some part of you into that, so what your answer is essentially getting is 'not you.' If you're going to transform yourself into 'not you' in order to attract someone who is not interested in 'you' but 'not you,' you're really going about the whole thing wrong and presenting a lie that will eventually fall apart because ultimately it's not you and being 'not you' is a near impossible thing to maintain.

Meet and talk to people. Relax. Be the person you're going to be and who you are because that shit takes no maintenance. Think about it this way (because it's important to remember that while we often say 'plenty of fish in the sea,' women are not actually fish but other human beings who may or may not be looking for someone to share their lives with as well), if a woman presented herself as something else just because she thought that's what you liked, how are you going to feel when you find out that she's not really that person she pretended to be? Wouldn't you have rather spent your time with someone who really was that thing you wanted instead of wasting time on someone who was trying to fool you? Well, same thing.

I don't really know what makes someone feel attracted to someone else, because people have become attracted to me and that shit is just downright baffling. Whatever voodoo that makes that shit happen just fucking happens. Relax. Enjoy yourself, maybe someone will enjoy you as well. If not, at least you had a good time and didn't have to pretend to have a good time being something you're not.

[The Land of Truth]

In what way?

Well, assuming you're a boy. I believe you were already talking to a friend's girlfriend.

Basically, don't get too close. Unless you were a friend with her before, she is offically not your friend. If you develop a friendship with your friend's girlfriend, then most likely your friend (or his/her girlfriend) might think "something's up."

Just saying, from my past experience, and then Guy Code..

It sounds like your friends are overtly paranoid.

[Farnhamia]

Why, may I ask?

It's easier than having to worry about your hair, and I think most women look beautiful in them. It makes eyes look so beautiful...
As an American with no clue where I come from, I have some culture envy.

I tell ye what, you could wear a nice scarf and achieve the same effect. Culture is what you make it. America has plenty of our own and whenever we want something new, well, that's what the United States Marines are for.

[Fartsniffage]

Personally, I like chivalry. I'm your lady, not your dog. Also not all girls like to have everything done for them. Guys with a good sense of humor, charismatic, clean, sweet, caring, and somewhat outgoing are attractive to me, however, shy guys are adorable as well.

I like politeness, but chivalry? Naw.
I am not some damsel-in-distress waiting to be rescued by a knight in shining armor.

Chivalry isn't all about saving the damsel from the dragon. It's basically being polite when it's appropriate.

[Vitaphone Racing]

Do people who ask this question really expect to get a miracle answer that makes any girl super-easy to talk to and swooning at your every advance?

[Cannot think of a name]

Au contaire.

The following are complete universal truths that every woman everywhere, even lesbians and asexual women respond to with out fail.

When you desire a woman, you let her know by standing on the top of the nearest table or trash can, extend your left arm (very important, if you do this with your right arm you are inferring that she eats cats. If make this accusation in error, results could be disastrous) spin slowly in place repeating the call of whippoorwill until your arm rests on the closest woman to her right. Click your tongue three times and then bow your head.

The woman now knows you are interested. Staring in disbelief is a sign of returned interest.

Now, place a hat directly behind your heels and without moving your feet slowly descend into a crosslegged position. If the hat remains perfectly between your legs you have demonstrated your virility and she will find you irresistible. You may now follow two steps behind her walking backwards reciting Green Eggs and Ham to the tune of Black Sabbath's Iron Man (seriously, try it, it fits).

To finalize your devotion to the woman of your choice, shave a single stripe down the middle of your head and offer the trimmings to the nearest child, explaining "This holds the spirit of the plastic firetruck that haunts my crawl space."

This is the complete failsafe way to woo any woman. Because it's not at all ridiculous to think that an entire gender would respond to a set of rules, actions, or aesthetics.

For half the time, I thought you were really saying this lo.

You doubt the earnestness of this totally serious sounding advice?

[Stern des Meeres]

I like politeness, but chivalry? Naw.
I am not some damsel-in-distress waiting to be rescued by a knight in shining armor.

Chivalry isn't all about saving the damsel from the dragon. It's basically being polite when it's appropriate.

Which I am fine with. But I don't like the stigma of chivalry.

[Fartsniffage]

It's easier than having to worry about your hair, and I think most women look beautiful in them. It makes eyes look so beautiful...
As an American with no clue where I come from, I have some culture envy.

I tell ye what, you could wear a nice scarf and achieve the same effect. Culture is what you make it. America has plenty of our own and whenever we want something new, well, that's what the United States Marines are for.

The USMC has a thing for headscarves?

[Stern des Meeres]

Do people who ask this question really expect to get a miracle answer that makes any girl super-easy to talk to and swooning at your every advance?

There is an answer. Dyakovo will tell you.

Chloroform.

[The Land of Truth]

I tell ye what, you could wear a nice scarf and achieve the same effect. Culture is what you make it. America has plenty of our own and whenever we want something new, well, that's what the United States Marines are for.

The USMC has a thing for headscarves?

Not that I know of, but if they ever do, dear god DON'T WEAR A HEADSCARF!

[The Parkus Empire]

Hello everyone. This is kind of embarrassing , so I'm using one of my puppets, but I'm looking for general advice on the female. I sort of understand the traditional woman, but not the modern (that's hindsight for you).

Plenty of modern women are traditional.

Anyways, what do girls actually like in males? Kindness? Piety? Chivalry? Or something else entirely?

What do human beings like?

Givens: hygiene, especially breath wise, and clothing. I don't mean you have to wear to a designer outfit, just that you shouldn't dress sloppy. If you have facial hair, take care of it.

How can one tell if a girl is interested in them?

More than a casual glance denotes interest. Random complimenting denotes interest, if she doesn't know you. Physical contact denotes mucho interest (touching your shoulder, deliberately bumping into you). Asking for help, unless it's your job or you know her well, typically denotes interest.

What does NOT inherently denote interest. Smiling: it can, but excessive looking is a far more dependable indicator--smiling can just mean friendly. Being polite does not mean she wants to fuck, it just mean she's polite. Getting upset: if she's getting angry at you in a playful way, that's flirtatious, but if she's actually upset, that isn't a good thing, it's a sign that you probably need to apologize; do not confuse these two.

What you should do if you like someone: pick a topic of conservation, and have at it. An article of her clothing or a tattoo or her hair is fine. You start a conversation on that, and it's clear that you like her, but she can also gently signal a no without embarrassing either of you. If she's receptive, talk some more, and eventually ask her out or get her number.

One Rule: Please, no vulgarity.

Yes.

[Fartsniffage]

Chivalry isn't all about saving the damsel from the dragon. It's basically being polite when it's appropriate.

Which I am fine with. But I don't like the stigma of chivalry.

It's an old fashioned word. Much like "bosom".

This thread seems rife with them.....

[Pasovo-nacoBo]

Well, assuming you're a boy. I believe you were already talking to a friend's girlfriend.

Basically, don't get too close. Unless you were a friend with her before, she is offically not your friend. If you develop a friendship with your friend's girlfriend, then most likely your friend (or his/her girlfriend) might think "something's up."

Just saying, from my past experience, and then Guy Code..

It sounds like your friends are overtly paranoid.

He eventually forgave me.
However, they both hated me because his girlfriend started a rumor about me.

The stereotypical "Boyfriend, HES hitting on me."
which translates to
"I don't like this person."

[Cannot think of a name]

I like politeness, but chivalry? Naw.
I am not some damsel-in-distress waiting to be rescued by a knight in shining armor.

Chivalry isn't all about saving the damsel from the dragon. It's basically being polite when it's appropriate.

Being polite is being polite. Being chivalrous is more of an egotistical exercise.