Seriously, what if the zombie apocalypse happens tomorrow?

[Anachronous Rex]

What kind of zombies?

Because we're SoL if they're Return of the Living Dead variety.

[Krazakistan]

And yes, there would be a fucking lot of camera footage. Security tapes, amateur footage, and guys in the military who brought cameras with them.

And by the time people have their cameras out, it would look like a mass riot. Not many security tapes that'll have quality footage either. Maybe some ATM cameras.

Yes, a riot definetly looks like a lot of slowly walking groaning people covered in blood, missing or fucked up limbs, and those people eating other people.

[Krazakistan]

What kind of zombies?

Because we're SoL if they're Return of the Living Dead variety.

There'd be no way to beat those zombies. Unless you feel like nuking everything.

[Anachronous Rex]

What kind of zombies?

Because we're SoL if they're Return of the Living Dead variety.

There'd be no way to beat those zombies. Unless you feel like nuking everything.

Not even that. Nukes only spread their contagion into the atmosphere and cause it to fall as rain, remember? Unless your aim is to kill everything else Halo style? Which would be a valid strategy.

Barring that, the best way to deal with that lot would be to try and get yourself infected in such a way as to retain as much bodily integrity as possible. You're going to be that way for a while, after all.

But, of course, if they are WWZ zombies, you would want to infect yourself with HIV or something.

28 days zombies: stockpile supplies and wait.

Dawn zombies: go to the mall, apparently.

Crossed: head to Alaska and pray.

[Warda]

There'd be no way to beat those zombies. Unless you feel like nuking everything.

Not even that. Nukes only spread their contagion into the atmosphere and cause it to fall as rain, remember? Unless your aim is to kill everything else Halo style? Which would be a valid strategy.

Barring that, the best way to deal with that lot would be to try and get yourself infected in such a way as to retain as much bodily integrity as possible. You're going to be that way for a while, after all.

But, of course, if they are WWZ zombies, you would want to infect yourself with HIV or something.

28 days zombies: stockpile supplies and wait.

Dawn zombies: go to the mall, apparently.

Crossed: head to Alaska and pray.

HIV? Tbho though if our military can't handle zombies I feel paying taxes is pointless.

[Anachronous Rex]

Not even that. Nukes only spread their contagion into the atmosphere and cause it to fall as rain, remember? Unless your aim is to kill everything else Halo style? Which would be a valid strategy.

Barring that, the best way to deal with that lot would be to try and get yourself infected in such a way as to retain as much bodily integrity as possible. You're going to be that way for a while, after all.

But, of course, if they are WWZ zombies, you would want to infect yourself with HIV or something.

28 days zombies: stockpile supplies and wait.

Dawn zombies: go to the mall, apparently.

Crossed: head to Alaska and pray.

HIV? Tbho though if our military can't handle zombies I feel paying taxes is pointless.

No one can handle Crossed.

Best thing, in my opinion, would be to start playing for the other team.

[Liriena]

I'll just go to Patagonia, live off dears, trouts and raspberries, and wait for the harsh weather to exterminate all zombies.

[Conscentia]

You'd be able to hear them a mile away a result of the swarms of flies that'll follow the corpses around, and even if the flies don't deal with it - there's still the police, military, and the cold of Winter.

Also, http://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthmatters/2011/05/preparedness-101-zombie-apocalypse/.

[Tyriece]

Form a caravan gang of road warriors and travel the land establishing a new government.

[Hetalian Indie Rio de Janeiro]

I'll just go to Patagonia, live off dears, trouts and raspberries, and wait for the harsh weather to exterminate all zombies.

We can go live together in Ilha Grande instead. I have a house really close to there, the local governments won't have how to discriminate us.

There are very isolated villages and the walkways between them are pretty hard to use, with forest on both sides. There are some jaguars and snakes there, not to say about some alligators in the coastal parts of a few rivers, so only the Indians would walk lonely at night, and Westerner zombies, rather not. The father of the grandma who raised me knew how to feel and avoid those like an Indian but she was still a child in the only time of her life when she was close (like, 10-15m away) to one of them hunting (and was scared as fuck, much like in the time when she was close to them playing, about 30-50m away, with each other) and don't have the knowledge.

I think it is a much wiser option. Also, zombies will have human biological functions.

I wouldn't like the taste of fish, much less eat fish every single day of the next 30 years, though (they don't have agriculture). I'd rather eat insects and vegetables (both equally pretty scary options).

[Costa Alegria]

I live in a place where even snakes dare not venture. And I'm pretty good with a shotgun. Plus, I have relatives with assault rifles and pistols and aside from replenishing ammunition and food, I have some nice hills I can camp on that are abundant in possums, deer, pigs, goats and feral cattle.

But that's of course, zombies are scientifically possible. Which they aren't. There are zombie like fungi, but they're limited to ant colonies in Africa and even the ants know what to do with them.

[Nazis in Space]

What if people finally shut up about zombies?

Something like this, probably.

[Murbleflip]

What are you all going on about? If the zombie apocalypse occurs tomorrow, we should rejoice, for it will be the will of [violet] and [violet]'s servant on earth, Max B!

[Ayreonia]

I'd probably receive a call from a very agitated-sounding military person. Something about getting my ass there this instant, private.

[Ifreann]

Obviously I'd cooperate with the government emergency response and generally stay out of the way of people better equipped to handle the problem. Over the next several months I would take great pleasure in mocking all the people who fled to bunkers or the wilderness, thinking civilisation would collapse, when in reality we'd be at worst inconvenienced for a few weeks. And the people upset that they didn't get to live out their socially-acceptable-murder-spree. Lawd, I would not stop mocking those psychos.

---

Use my 50 caliber sniper machine gun rocket launcher mounted on the White House to kill everything and everyone in the DC Metropolitan area.

I'd also avoid the DC Metropolitan area.

---

I'd be one of the first to be zombified. Then, when we inevitably take out the rest of you, I can arrogantly taunt you all with my seniority. You do all the dirty work and be the first wave while the humans still have ammunition left, while I get first pick of brains to eat.

Best plan I've heard so far.

---

I am well prepared.

1 gladius
1 Cavalry sabre
3 machetes
1 fighting axe
1 Hitler Youth knife
1 spear

1 AR-15
2 SKSs
16 gauge shotgun
Pump 12 gauge
Remington 600 in .243
Several handguns

Several weeks worth of rations, the know-how to make explosives, traps, and entertainment, and enough gear to outfit a decent squad of zombie killers.

And when the police have rounded up all the zombies I'm sure you'll be happy off all your unnecessary preparation.

[Orham]

There'd be no way to beat those zombies. Unless you feel like nuking everything.

Not even that. Nukes only spread their contagion into the atmosphere and cause it to fall as rain, remember? Unless your aim is to kill everything else Halo style? Which would be a valid strategy.

Barring that, the best way to deal with that lot would be to try and get yourself infected in such a way as to retain as much bodily integrity as possible. You're going to be that way for a while, after all.

But, of course, if they are WWZ zombies, you would want to infect yourself with HIV or something.

28 days zombies: stockpile supplies and wait.

Dawn zombies: go to the mall, apparently.

Crossed: head to Alaska and pray.

You forgot one.

Shaun zombies: go to the pub, have a pint, and wait for this to all blow over.

[Rocopurr]

I have no guns, so I'd be pretty much screwed. I guess I would hide and try to wear things zombies couldn't bite through (let's see something with human teeth bite through layers of clothes and duct tape). I would probably die fairly quickly...

[Hetalian Indie Rio de Janeiro]

I have no guns, so I'd be pretty much screwed.

Yeah, me neither, to the exception of a few rusty knives.

[TaQud]

i would grab all guns I'm available to get and horde everything to survive.

[The Sivent Isles]

I'd become one with my zombie brethren.

[Thafoo]

Curl up into a ball and cry.

[Genivaria]

I honestly think with all the zombie fiction that's pervasive throughout our society I think we could handle it.
I really think the military and police could contain it.
How long would it take for the people on scene to notice that the people who got bit are now attacking people to and then make the connection?

[Liriena]

I'll just go to Patagonia, live off dears, trouts and raspberries, and wait for the harsh weather to exterminate all zombies.

We can go live together in Ilha Grande instead. I have a house really close to there, the local governments won't have how to discriminate us.

There are very isolated villages and the walkways between them are pretty hard to use, with forest on both sides. There are some jaguars and snakes there, not to say about some alligators in the coastal parts of a few rivers, so only the Indians would walk lonely at night, and Westerner zombies, rather not. The father of the grandma who raised me knew how to feel and avoid those like an Indian but she was still a child in the only time of her life when she was close (like, 10-15m away) to one of them hunting (and was scared as fuck, much like in the time when she was close to them playing, about 30-50m away, with each other) and don't have the knowledge.

I think it is a much wiser option. Also, zombies will have human biological functions.

I wouldn't like the taste of fish, much less eat fish every single day of the next 30 years, though (they don't have agriculture). I'd rather eat insects and vegetables (both equally pretty scary options).

I usually prefer cold wheathers...but ok.

[Anachronous Rex]

I honestly think with all the zombie fiction that's pervasive throughout our society I think we could handle it.
I really think the military and police could contain it.
How long would it take for the people on scene to notice that the people who got bit are now attacking people to and then make the connection?

Again, it all depends on the zombies.

[Genivaria]

I honestly think with all the zombie fiction that's pervasive throughout our society I think we could handle it.
I really think the military and police could contain it.
How long would it take for the people on scene to notice that the people who got bit are now attacking people to and then make the connection?

Again, it all depends on the zombies.

Walkers or Runners I think we could take 'em.