The "Nice Guy" and the friendzone, Society's attitude

[Dakini]

The simple solution is to be attractive. And just being "nice" isn't attractive.

There, I said what everybody should have thought.

And be attractive means mostly: Be handsome! And...not all people got that.

People this days don't care anymore about a good person from a inside, but only cares about: Hey, you are handsome! Wait, you work for the government and earns 2500 dollars every month? I love you now!

First of all, what one person considers attractive another person may not because these things are entirely subjective.
Next, a lot of what makes a person attractive is on the inside. I'm sorry that you've never been fortunate to have the experience of meeting a person who maybe looks like nothing special, then getting to know them better and figuring out that they're actually really attractive altogether.
Also, not everyone is all about the money. Most people are happy with someone who is doing something other than sitting on the couch all day, especially if they have some ambition to do better and such.

[New Nassrau]

From personal experience, I am one of the girls who is dating the so called "Mean guys" but let me tell you, these guys aren't really mean. Alot of highschool guys who are "anti-social, band kids, nerds" etc believe that all popular kids are douches. To some extent, yes that is correct, but all of the hate towards popular guys is wrong. Sure the mean guys are mean to the unpopular people, but they're not mean to their girlfriends. Alot of the nice guys i've met are truly amazing people, and I "friend zoned" them because I didn't want to date then break up and never speak to them again. I like that fact that they are generally interested in me. As for the popular "mean guys" they have a nice balance of niceness but not being over the top prissy. See, alot of the "nice guys" sometimes have drama of their own, and I want a man with barely any drama in his life, as women already have enough...

So thats my reasoning

[Choronzon]

(1)Because it changes nothing.


(2)Which, again, I have not done. You stated your feelings rather clearly. Shrieking "I WAS TALKING TO THE OP" does not at all change the fact that you said "Nice guys should be treated better by the opposite sex," a statement which implies that they normally are treated poorly. If this is not what you're saying, learn to speak more clearly. Don't throw a tantrum because someone had the audacity to judge your position by what you said explicitly.

1) Actually, yeah, it does, because it means you're willingly and blatantly taking my posts out of context to make them worse than they are.

It does not matter who you said "Nice guys should be treated better by the opposite sex," to. It does not at all change the meaning of the statement.

2) I'm not throwing a tantrum, because I don't throw tantrums on the Internet. (Why would I give cowards the benefit of getting on my nerves when they're hiding behind a computer screen--and no, I'm not calling you a coward).

Oh yeah, you're not throwing a tantrum at all.

As for speaking clearly, if you really meant it, then you would've asked what I meant before posting an actual reply or, after I clarified, you would've backed off instead of jumping in farther.

Oh yeah, big meany that I am judging you by your own words.

So, tell me, what does "Nice guys should be treated better by the opposite sex," mean aside from "Nice guys should be treated better by the opposite sex?" I'm truly curious to know.

You're just trying to back out of it by making yourself seem like the great hero who stood up to an oppressor (who didn't exist, in the first place).

Oh yeah, thats me.

[Ostroeuropa]

The simple solution is to be attractive. And just being "nice" isn't attractive.

There, I said what everybody should have thought.

And be attractive means mostly: Be handsome! And...not all people got that.

People this days don't care anymore about a good person from a inside, but only cares about: Hey, you are handsome! Wait, you work for the government and earns 2500 dollars every month? I love you now!

Meanwhile on the other side: Whoah, you are ugly, but where you work? Oh, just at a small unknown company. How much you earn? 1400 dollars?! Bleh loser, go away from my, freak!

Most of what makes someone attractive is how they carry themselves.
It's why still photo's are never a good reference.
It's the smirks that always get me.
If someones got a good smirk and a condescending attitude, i'm head over heels already.
And that's all about personality, ish.

As for money, i've personally found that my prospects have decreased since I started earning more money.
Probably because, secretly, if I have money, I tend to buy clothes that I actually want to buy instead of generic clothes.
And my sense in fashion?
It's not great.
But fuck it, i'm me dammit.
*tears off his jeans and hoodie to reveal a purple jumpsuit emblazzoned with neon green hairpins*

[Miyager]

The simple solution is to be attractive. And just being "nice" isn't attractive.

There, I said what everybody should have thought.

And be attractive means mostly: Be handsome! And...not all people got that.

People this days don't care anymore about a good person from a inside, but only cares about: Hey, you are handsome! Wait, you work for the government and earns 2500 dollars every month? I love you now!

Meanwhile on the other side: Whoah, you are ugly, but where you work? Oh, just at a small unknown company. How much you earn? 1400 dollars?! Bleh loser, go away from my, freak!

That's not how it works, all I said was that being attractive would get you farther. Doesn't mean you have to be. You can be average and still go pretty far. And even unattractive people for the most part are going to go somewhere, unless they spend all their time bitching about how unfair they get treated.

[The Blaatschapen]

If someones got a good smirk and a condescending attitude, i'm head over heels already.

Sure.

[The Serbian Empire]

From personal experience, I am one of the girls who is dating the so called "Mean guys" but let me tell you, these guys aren't really mean. Alot of highschool guys who are "anti-social, band kids, nerds" etc believe that all popular kids are douches. To some extent, yes that is correct, but all of the hate towards popular guys is wrong. Sure the mean guys are mean to the unpopular people, but they're not mean to their girlfriends. Alot of the nice guys i've met are truly amazing people, and I "friend zoned" them because I didn't want to date then break up and never speak to them again. I like that fact that they are generally interested in me. As for the popular "mean guys" they have a nice balance of niceness but not being over the top prissy. See, alot of the "nice guys" sometimes have drama of their own, and I want a man with barely any drama in his life, as women already have enough...

So thats my reasoning

There are good redeemable qualities in most people. That is true and to be honest I'm not attractive enough without a fist full of hundred dollar bills earned every month!

[Ostroeuropa]

If someones got a good smirk and a condescending attitude, i'm head over heels already.

Sure.

I don't think you quite realize just how much a good smirk does it for me.

[Choronzon]

That's not how it works, all I said was that being attractive would get you farther.

And even thats not entirely true. If I had a nickle for every time someone said "They're hot, but they suck as a person," as an excuse for wanting nothing to do with someone I'd be loaded enough to have all the wimminz (cause they just want my money).

[New Nassrau]

From personal experience, I am one of the girls who is dating the so called "Mean guys" but let me tell you, these guys aren't really mean. Alot of highschool guys who are "anti-social, band kids, nerds" etc believe that all popular kids are douches. To some extent, yes that is correct, but all of the hate towards popular guys is wrong. Sure the mean guys are mean to the unpopular people, but they're not mean to their girlfriends. Alot of the nice guys i've met are truly amazing people, and I "friend zoned" them because I didn't want to date then break up and never speak to them again. I like that fact that they are generally interested in me. As for the popular "mean guys" they have a nice balance of niceness but not being over the top prissy. See, alot of the "nice guys" sometimes have drama of their own, and I want a man with barely any drama in his life, as women already have enough...

So thats my reasoning

There are good redeemable qualities in most people. That is true and to be honest I'm not attractive enough without a fist full of hundred dollar bills earned every month!

Oh really? Well, continuing, some of nice guys are the kind of guys like... theatre people where they dress and act gay, but they're not. But yes, nice guy drama is annoying. I don't want my boyfriend to feed me gossip! I just want a person to care for me and dent his pride to snuggle with me!

[The Serbian Empire]

There are good redeemable qualities in most people. That is true and to be honest I'm not attractive enough without a fist full of hundred dollar bills earned every month!

Oh really? Well, continuing, some of nice guys are the kind of guys like... theatre people where they dress and act gay, but they're not. But yes, nice guy drama is annoying. I don't want my boyfriend to feed me gossip! I just want a person to care for me and dent his pride to snuggle with me!

Nothing like a snuggle I guess. Cuddling is a nice thing.

[Dread Lady Nathicana]

Ordya: 1day ban for the trolling and baiting. Thread clipped, get back on topic, and mind your manners, thanks.

[The Parkus Empire]

From personal experience, I am one of the girls who is dating the so called "Mean guys" but let me tell you, these guys aren't really mean. Alot of highschool guys who are "anti-social, band kids, nerds" etc believe that all popular kids are douches. To some extent, yes that is correct, but all of the hate towards popular guys is wrong. Sure the mean guys are mean to the unpopular people, but they're not mean to their girlfriends. Alot of the nice guys i've met are truly amazing people, and I "friend zoned" them because I didn't want to date then break up and never speak to them again. I like that fact that they are generally interested in me. As for the popular "mean guys" they have a nice balance of niceness but not being over the top prissy. See, alot of the "nice guys" sometimes have drama of their own, and I want a man with barely any drama in his life, as women already have enough...

So thats my reasoning

How old are you?

[Neo Art]

Ordya: 1day ban for the trolling and baiting. Thread clipped, get back on topic, and mind your manners, thanks.

I was wondering what in the world just happened.

[Forster Keys]

There are good redeemable qualities in most people. That is true and to be honest I'm not attractive enough without a fist full of hundred dollar bills earned every month!

Oh really? Well, continuing, some of nice guys are the kind of guys like... theatre people where they dress and act gay, but they're not. But yes, nice guy drama is annoying. I don't want my boyfriend to feed me gossip! I just want a person to care for me and dent his pride to snuggle with me!

Snuggling should not dent pride.

[Forster Keys]

The simple solution is to be attractive. And just being "nice" isn't attractive.

There, I said what everybody should have thought.

And be attractive means mostly: Be handsome! And...not all people got that.

People this days don't care anymore about a good person from a inside, but only cares about: Hey, you are handsome! Wait, you work for the government and earns 2500 dollars every month? I love you now!

Meanwhile on the other side: Whoah, you are ugly, but where you work? Oh, just at a small unknown company. How much you earn? 1400 dollars?! Bleh loser, go away from my, freak!

Nowadays? Attractiveness has always has been important, as has an amiable or compatible personality. Different people have different priorities and fancies. This has always been so.

[Choronzon]

All this hand wringing about how you have to be attractive...

Well, of fucking course the person wants to be attracted to you if they're going to sleep with you. Why would you expect it any other way? That being said, what makes someone "attractive" is entirely in the eyes of the beholder, and it has a lot to do with your personality and the chemistry between the two of you.

[Xsyne]

I dunno, but could it be true that the old adage of "Nice guys finish last" holds some water? Possibly, but I don't want to go into specifics on it.

If "nice guys" finish last, it's because they expect the finish line to come to them.

[Choronzon]

I dunno, but could it be true that the old adage of "Nice guys finish last" holds some water? Possibly, but I don't want to go into specifics on it.

If "nice guys" finish last, it's because they expect the finish line to come to them.

I always thought the whole "nice guys finish last" had decidedly sexual connotations.

Am I wrong in this?

[Forster Keys]

If "nice guys" finish last, it's because they expect the finish line to come to them.

I always thought the whole "nice guys finish last" had decidedly sexual connotations.

Am I wrong in this?

You sort of just blew my mind there.

[Choronzon]

I always thought the whole "nice guys finish last" had decidedly sexual connotations.

Am I wrong in this?

You sort of just blew my mind there.

Maybe it is just me...

[Fartsniffage]

I've never understood this "nice guy/friendzone" thing.

I'm what I would consider a nice guy. I'm polite and pleasant with most people and then rather sarcastic with those who know well enough to understand that with me that means I accept you as someone I consider close. I'm not rich, I don't have any status and I'm average looking at best.

Yet I don't have huge trouble finding women who find me attractive. Not all that I meet, some become friends, but enough that I don't feel I'm in some kind of under appreciated sub-group of males. Most of the people I end up getting intimate with start out as a friend and then become something more.

[Forster Keys]

You sort of just blew my mind there.

Maybe it is just me...

Well I'm not the man to pass up an innuendo. I'm using that.

[Camelza]

[insert pitiful whining for unrequited love]

[Lordieth]

I dunno, but could it be true that the old adage of "Nice guys finish last" holds some water? Possibly, but I don't want to go into specifics on it.

If "nice guys" finish last, it's because they expect the finish line to come to them.

I think it's more of a misnomer. Like How short people are always more agressive or angry.

Generally, the nice guys who finish last are the ones who are inflexible and unwilling to compromise. Whereas people who are a little less nice don't sabotage themselves by being too prideful or by always sticking to their principles. Anyone with moral absolutism is going to be at a disadvantage, and it's generally very nice people, more often than not, who have this mindset.

That said. I still think it's a misnomer. Being nice and morally inflexible aren't mutually exclusive, and being nice doesn't mean you're always going to be at a disadvantage to people who aren't. Unpleasant people can have just as many problems succeeding in life, but for different reasons. It also depends on the people around you. One nice guy in room full of jerks is going to have just as hard a time as a jerk in a room full of nice guys.