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Value of virginity and slut-shaming

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Dakini
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Postby Dakini » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:18 pm

Autismiah wrote:
Individuality-ness wrote:Sex with many people that isn't you STILL doesn't mean that. I said infidelity because a lot of people who slut-shame think that if a woman has a lot of sex, it means she'll be unfaithful to you in your current relationship.


Mean what? Sex with many people does indeed mean you're promiscuous. That's the definition.

A woman who had never had sex as she was waiting for the right man seems less likely to cheat due to her evident moral viewpoints than someone who does not value virginity as she is arbitrary and uncaring about these things.

lolwhut.

Yeah, unless she got married extra young because that's what a lot of people do when they're "saving themselves" and then she and her partner grow up and realize that they're totally different people. Or unless she realizes that the sex she's been having is unsatisfying (maybe she's heard from her friends who have good sex lives that it can be great) and then goes to see what she's missed out on.

If you honestly believe that people who save themselves for marriage are less likely to cheat, then you're either incredibly naive or delusional.

What else will she be uncaring about? Marriage is only a piece of paper, after all.

Marriage is just a piece of paper.

Relationships are much more important, but they're not so useful if you want to be able to move across borders with your partner or access the multitude of benefits that come with legal status.

Also, you don't have to be married to cheat on someone.

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The Rich Port
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Postby The Rich Port » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:18 pm

Napkiraly wrote:
Individuality-ness wrote: It just means that that partner has had some experience, which could actually work to your advantage.

To quote the all-mighty Billy Connolly.

*ahem*

Give me two fire-breathing whores any day of the week. I'm a slut man!


... Ironic that he was mocking the negative connotations of the word that it carries around, being the word it is.

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Individuality-ness
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Postby Individuality-ness » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:18 pm

Napkiraly wrote:
Individuality-ness wrote: It just means that that partner has had some experience, which could actually work to your advantage.

To quote the all-mighty Billy Connolly.

*ahem*

Give me two fire-breathing whores any day of the week. I'm a slut man!

Exactly. Win-win, I tell you, win-win.
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Postby Condunum » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:18 pm

Brocwika wrote:
Condunum wrote:My bad :P


Sorry? I don't really care if you believe me.


I never said anything about you. But the fact you're getting defensive about it....

:lol2:
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Saiwania
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Postby Saiwania » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:19 pm

I don't think male virginity is valued very much at all by most of society as opposed to female virginity, the expectation for males is that they need to be "studs" that can have as much sex with as many women as they'd like; while females are pressured to not have sex or they're "sluts." That is what I've observed anyways and I agree that it is wrong to hold failing to live up to abstinence against people or to otherwise pressure them into sex.

I'm a male who has failed to have sex at all and at 24, people might think of that as weird or something to be ashamed of. I don't care really, I'll either eventually experience sex or I won't.
Last edited by Saiwania on Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:23 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Greed and Death » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:19 pm

People are Stupid.
If you want to be a virgin and marry a virgin fine, stop carrying about what anyone else does.
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Postby Dyakovo » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:19 pm

Autismiah wrote:
Dyakovo wrote:Not that I saw.


I said in that very post. Do you wish me to give more examples? Why is that?

Having sex =/= promiscuous.
Having sex =/= hedonistic.

So what does having sex reveal about a person?
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Postby Disserbia » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:20 pm

Galloism wrote:
Disserbia wrote:Perhaps because she learned English mainly from 20somethings who live in her apt complex in the Bronx. Not every word spoken is meant to be taken entirely literally. Shocking, I know.

So the 20 somethings in her apartment were walking around calling people sluts, and she picked it up, then appropriately applied it for max slut shaming of you later on accident.

This gets more probable every minute.

I'm just waiting for someone to have run down a mugger in a powered wheelchair next.

She doesn't think I behave inappropriately normally, so it's not slut shaming.
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Postby Napkiraly » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:20 pm

Individuality-ness wrote:
Napkiraly wrote:To quote the all-mighty Billy Connolly.

*ahem*


Exactly. Win-win, I tell you, win-win.

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Postby Qazox » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:20 pm

greed and death wrote:People are Stupid.
If you want to be a virgin and marry a virgin fine, stop carrying about what anyone else does.


Exactly.
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Postby Dakini » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:20 pm

Dyakovo wrote:
Brocwika wrote:Also ITT so many individuals >Implying they've had sex before

Or is it just me?

Why do you find it shocking that we've had sex before?

Yeah really. Not having sex by my age is getting to "that's pretty sad" territory.

Plus I mean, even the people who are like "go celibacy!" would have issue arguing that the married people participating in this discussion shouldn't be getting it on with their respective partners.

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Postby Individuality-ness » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:20 pm

Napkiraly wrote:
Individuality-ness wrote:Exactly. Win-win, I tell you, win-win.

Give me a girl with srs xp over n00bs dam yo

... I don't think I qualify, but I have theory! :P
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The Rich Port
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Postby The Rich Port » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:21 pm

Dyakovo wrote:
Autismiah wrote:
I said in that very post. Do you wish me to give more examples? Why is that?

Having sex =/= promiscuous.
Having sex =/= hedonistic.

So what does having sex reveal about a person?


In his case, he doesn't seem to know anything about sex, so he either hasn't had any or he's havings sex for all the wrong reasons.

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Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:21 pm

Dyakovo wrote:
Autismiah wrote:
I said in that very post. Do you wish me to give more examples? Why is that?

Having sex =/= promiscuous.
Having sex =/= hedonistic.

So what does having sex reveal about a person?


Reveals your own prejudices and misconceptions, as evidenced by his post.
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Postby Forster Keys » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:21 pm

"Slut" is just a synonym for "you get more sex than me, and this makes me jealous"
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Postby New haven america » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:21 pm

greed and death wrote:People are Stupid.
If you want to be a virgin and marry a virgin fine, stop carrying about what anyone else does.

B-b-but, humans suck.(Most can't accept that)
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Postby Dyakovo » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:21 pm

Condunum wrote:
Dyakovo wrote:Why do you find it shocking that we've had sex before?

He wants to believe that everyone on the internet is a virgin.

It's an ego thing.

:unsure: Okay...
Not sure how that works...
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Postby Autismiah » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:22 pm

Individuality-ness wrote:
Autismiah wrote:Mean what? Sex with many people does indeed mean you're promiscuous. That's the definition.

A woman who had never had sex as she was waiting for the right man seems less likely to cheat due to her evident moral viewpoints than someone who does not value virginity as she is arbitrary and uncaring about these things. What else will she be uncaring about? Marriage is only a piece of paper, after all.

As compared to what? Is there an arbitrary number?

You're still not getting it. Having sex with more than one person doesn't mean that that partner will be unfaithful to you. It just means that that partner has had some experience, which could actually work to your advantage.


As what compared to what? An arbitrary number of what?

It doesn't mean she is guaranteed to be unfaithful, no, but I think that the chances would be elevated.
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Postby Dyakovo » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:23 pm

Dakini wrote:
Dyakovo wrote:Why do you find it shocking that we've had sex before?

Yeah really. Not having sex by my age is getting to "that's pretty sad" territory.

Plus I mean, even the people who are like "go celibacy!" would have issue arguing that the married people participating in this discussion shouldn't be getting it on with their respective partners.

Even more so for me... Especially when you consider the fact that I'm a parent...
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Postby Mediobogdum » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:23 pm

Thank you Rocopurr for bringing this subject to the forum! I have to say that as a fella it has always intrigued me that it was just fine for males to 'slag off' or 'slut-slam' a woman but it's just fine and dandy for them, indeed it is almost considered a duty, for men to get into bed with as many women as possible and in the shortest time frame and be proud of being a male 'slut'.

I read with great interest the article on the definition of 'slut-shaming' and I have learned much about its associated 'culture'. The subject is a socially very complex area and awash with generalizations and specifics which counter and counter-point each other. For my part, I keep my own counsel and let others live their own lives and just shake my head at those who are happy to discuss their own, and others' sex lives as if they were just talking about the weather!
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Individuality-ness
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Postby Individuality-ness » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:24 pm

Autismiah wrote:
Individuality-ness wrote:As compared to what? Is there an arbitrary number?

You're still not getting it. Having sex with more than one person doesn't mean that that partner will be unfaithful to you. It just means that that partner has had some experience, which could actually work to your advantage.

As what compared to what? An arbitrary number of what?

It doesn't mean she is guaranteed to be unfaithful, no, but I think that the chances would be elevated.

Is there an arbitrary number of partners that one can have before that person's labeled a slut?

Yeah, no, that's bullshit. Someone who has sex with a lot of partners just means that person has had sex with a lot of partners. It does not say anything on whether that person would be faithful to you or not.
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Postby Dakini » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:24 pm

Dyakovo wrote:
Dakini wrote:Yeah really. Not having sex by my age is getting to "that's pretty sad" territory.

Plus I mean, even the people who are like "go celibacy!" would have issue arguing that the married people participating in this discussion shouldn't be getting it on with their respective partners.

Even more so for me... Especially when you consider the fact that I'm a parent...

Immaculate conception?

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Postby Galloism » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:24 pm

Disserbia wrote:
Galloism wrote:So the 20 somethings in her apartment were walking around calling people sluts, and she picked it up, then appropriately applied it for max slut shaming of you later on accident.

This gets more probable every minute.

I'm just waiting for someone to have run down a mugger in a powered wheelchair next.

She doesn't think I behave inappropriately normally, so it's not slut shaming.

She guilted and shamed you for having a boyfriend and wearing shorts by calling you a stupid American slut.

The fact it was in the context of going to church notwithstanding, that is a bright flashing landing pad of slut shaming. It's true by definition.
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Individuality-ness
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Postby Individuality-ness » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:25 pm

Dakini wrote:
Dyakovo wrote:Even more so for me... Especially when you consider the fact that I'm a parent...

Immaculate conception?

IVF. *nod*
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Dakini
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Postby Dakini » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:25 pm

Autismiah wrote:
Individuality-ness wrote:As compared to what? Is there an arbitrary number?

You're still not getting it. Having sex with more than one person doesn't mean that that partner will be unfaithful to you. It just means that that partner has had some experience, which could actually work to your advantage.


As what compared to what? An arbitrary number of what?

It doesn't mean she is guaranteed to be unfaithful, no, but I think that the chances would be elevated.

Do you have a source on that?

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