Most Exciting Life Stories

[Yumyumsuppertime]

OK, I'm sorry, but you don't get to wander into a thread about crazy life stories and talk about how you don't have any, and then go "OK, well there was this ONE time, when I was homeless..."

Yeah, but having been homeless isn't 'crazy' so much as it was just 'sucky and tedious.'

Exactly. Which is why I haven't participated in this thread. Also, the exciting stuff that does happen is generally the kind of stuff that you don't care to relive.

On the positive side, I won $1450 back in 2000 on the game show Win Ben Stein's Money.

[Cannot think of a name]

Well, years ago I did run in the street racing scene.

Construction signs, road closed, detours, all to have half an hour of unobstructed and uninterrupted street racing before taking it all down and vanishing.

So, funny thing. NTTP will confirm, that if the Fast and the Furious is on TV, on some channel, I MUST watch it. It doesn't matter that I've seen it 30 times. It doesn't matter that I fucking OWN THE DVD. If that movie is on, I MUST see it.

Dinner plans be damned.

I was going to say something like "Have some standards, man..." but I realized that even though I hate those movies I, too, watch them when they're on just for the car porn. Apparently just for the car porn because I just realized with 6 that Han died in 3 and yet appeared in 4, 5, and 6...so when he was sitting around training some squid from America how to drift he had already been an international precision driving heist man and millionaire...and then played second fiddle to a 'Drift King' and fucked around with a yakuza because...he was bored? Or something.

Which makes me angry, because now when they come around I have to pay attention because they set up the full circle at the end of six for seven so I have to figure out what the hell is supposed to be happening...and I don't even like the damn movies, they're like what me playing with my Hot Wheels would have looked like if it was filmed by Justin Lin...

Also, I have to watch Megaforce if it's on. Fortunately, that hardly ever comes up. Gymkata too.

[Nailed to the Perch]

So, funny thing. NTTP will confirm, that if the Fast and the Furious is on TV, on some channel, I MUST watch it. It doesn't matter that I've seen it 30 times. It doesn't matter that I fucking OWN THE DVD. If that movie is on, I MUST see it.

Dinner plans be damned.

I was going to say something like "Have some standards, man..." but I realized that even though I hate those movies I, too, watch them when they're on just for the car porn. Apparently just for the car porn because I just realized with 6 that Han died in 3 and yet appeared in 4, 5, and 6...so when he was sitting around training some squid from America how to drift he had already been an international precision driving heist man and millionaire...and then played second fiddle to a 'Drift King' and fucked around with a yakuza because...he was bored? Or something.

Which makes me angry, because now when they come around I have to pay attention because they set up the full circle at the end of six for seven so I have to figure out what the hell is supposed to be happening...and I don't even like the damn movies, they're like what me playing with my Hot Wheels would have looked like if it was filmed by Justin Lin...

Also, I have to watch Megaforce if it's on. Fortunately, that hardly ever comes up. Gymkata too.

Honestly, there are very few shitty action movies NA doesn't appear to need to watch whenever they come on TV. He made me sit through Transformers a while back despite the fact that by about 15 minutes in I was like, "...does this movie have any point at all beyond 'Things explode while Megan Fox has boobs!'?" and he freely admittedly that the answer was no.

[Disserbia]

I was living in Australia at a hostel while way past my visa. At 6am in the morning immigration officers came in and raided the place. Basically I resigned myself to being caught and went through the checkpoints to the area where everyone was being processed. That is, everyone had to gather in the communal kitchen where at the entry was an officer checking passports and taking the names of those who were over their visa. Apparently I managed some jedi mind trick where I walked passed and said 'someone's already caught me' and therefore my name was never taken down. I sat down on the bench about 1-2 people away from the processor, someone handed me a coffee and I smoked a cigarette and slowly the morning fuzz cleared from my head..

..at which point I thought 'well, what if I just sit here, what if I don't volunteer my passport to the processor?' As my mind picked up speed I thought the one thing that could damage me would be someone saying 'man, you were busted, bad luck' so I just scowled and looked downwards hoping no one woudl talk to me.

After a while, as the last people were processed, someone piped up 'can those of us who are valid go cos we've got work' and the officers all agreed and so I walked out with them.. at which point some people patted me on the back to say 'sorry' but I was able to reply, 'ha, they totally missed me!'

That's just one of many ridiculous escape stories I've gone through, next up you can choose between:

a. The time I was caught driving a ridiculously illegal car by the police and how I was let off
b. The time I was rolling a joint in a park only for a large group consisting of representatives of police from all around Europe coming to ask me directions

That immigration one is scary. Being able to keep you cool is soooooooo valuable.

[Cannot think of a name]

Yeah, but having been homeless isn't 'crazy' so much as it was just 'sucky and tedious.'

Exactly. Which is why I haven't participated in this thread. Also, the exciting stuff that does happen is generally the kind of stuff that you don't care to relive.

On the positive side, I won $1450 back in 2000 on the game show Win Ben Stein's Money.

That's awesome. It means that more than likely I've seen you on television because I watched the shit out of that show.

I managed on two separate occasions to see people I know on tv without knowing they'd be on there-an ex-girlfriend was on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and bailed out at $125,000 on a Canterbury Tales question (she has a masters in English from William and Mary...so since then as we've reconnected I have not missed an opportunity to give her shit about that...) and my brother was on Judge Mathis. He got the shaft.

[The Emerald Legion]

So, funny thing. NTTP will confirm, that if the Fast and the Furious is on TV, on some channel, I MUST watch it. It doesn't matter that I've seen it 30 times. It doesn't matter that I fucking OWN THE DVD. If that movie is on, I MUST see it.

Dinner plans be damned.

I was going to say something like "Have some standards, man..." but I realized that even though I hate those movies I, too, watch them when they're on just for the car porn. Apparently just for the car porn because I just realized with 6 that Han died in 3 and yet appeared in 4, 5, and 6...so when he was sitting around training some squid from America how to drift he had already been an international precision driving heist man and millionaire...and then played second fiddle to a 'Drift King' and fucked around with a yakuza because...he was bored? Or something.

Which makes me angry, because now when they come around I have to pay attention because they set up the full circle at the end of six for seven so I have to figure out what the hell is supposed to be happening...and I don't even like the damn movies, they're like what me playing with my Hot Wheels would have looked like if it was filmed by Justin Lin...

Also, I have to watch Megaforce if it's on. Fortunately, that hardly ever comes up. Gymkata too.

Wait wait wait.... there's seven of them? I thought there were just four? 1, 2, drifty, and 2 fast 2 furious?

[Galloism]

Well, years ago I did run in the street racing scene.

Construction signs, road closed, detours, all to have half an hour of unobstructed and uninterrupted street racing before taking it all down and vanishing.

So, funny thing. NTTP will confirm, that if the Fast and the Furious is on TV, on some channel, I MUST watch it. It doesn't matter that I've seen it 30 times. It doesn't matter that I fucking OWN THE DVD. If that movie is on, I MUST see it.

Dinner plans be damned.

Ok, so you would probably appreciate this photo someone sent to me.

http://thefunniestpictures.com/wp-conte ... urious.jpg

I haven't actually seen it, but I was told about the fifteen minute scene on a runway.

[Fortunagen]

Alright, well one time I was at Chili's right, it was after some sort of event or something, well, anyway, there is this guy sitting at the table next to me that looked EXACTLY like one of the German guys from Beerfest, well, anyway, he is super-drunk, and I'm drinking an IBC. He thinks I'm drinking beer, so he challenges me to a competition, now, mind you, I'm underage, so this was really awkward, but no matter, I ask for another IBC feeling like a total badass, and we both start drinking our respective drinks, the whole thing lasted ten seconds, but he ended up spilling all over his shirt and passing out. He gets rushed out of the place and I(I was fourteen) get taken home by my Mom ten minutes later, who was completely oblivious to the whole scene.

How's that?

[Cannot think of a name]

I was going to say something like "Have some standards, man..." but I realized that even though I hate those movies I, too, watch them when they're on just for the car porn. Apparently just for the car porn because I just realized with 6 that Han died in 3 and yet appeared in 4, 5, and 6...so when he was sitting around training some squid from America how to drift he had already been an international precision driving heist man and millionaire...and then played second fiddle to a 'Drift King' and fucked around with a yakuza because...he was bored? Or something.

Which makes me angry, because now when they come around I have to pay attention because they set up the full circle at the end of six for seven so I have to figure out what the hell is supposed to be happening...and I don't even like the damn movies, they're like what me playing with my Hot Wheels would have looked like if it was filmed by Justin Lin...

Also, I have to watch Megaforce if it's on. Fortunately, that hardly ever comes up. Gymkata too.

Wait wait wait.... there's seven of them? I thought there were just four? 1, 2, drifty, and 2 fast 2 furious?

I fucking hate myself for this.

The Fast and the Furious
2 Fast 2 Furious
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Fast and Furious
Fast 5, The Fast and the Furious 5
Furious 6, The Fast and the Furious 6
...which at the end, Marvel style, had a tag with Jason Statham teased as the villain of the next one, implying he is actually the one who killed Han.

Oh yeah...'spoiler alert'...

[Cannot think of a name]

So, funny thing. NTTP will confirm, that if the Fast and the Furious is on TV, on some channel, I MUST watch it. It doesn't matter that I've seen it 30 times. It doesn't matter that I fucking OWN THE DVD. If that movie is on, I MUST see it.

Dinner plans be damned.

Ok, so you would probably appreciate this photo someone sent to me.

http://thefunniestpictures.com/wp-conte ... urious.jpg

I haven't actually seen it, but I was told about the fifteen minute scene on a runway.

Dude...fifteen minutes is probably short.

[Disserbia]

Wait wait wait.... there's seven of them? I thought there were just four? 1, 2, drifty, and 2 fast 2 furious?

I fucking hate myself for this.

The Fast and the Furious
2 Fast 2 Furious
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Fast and Furious
Fast 5, The Fast and the Furious 5
Furious 6, The Fast and the Furious 6
...which at the end, Marvel style, had a tag with Jason Statham teased as the villain of the next one, implying he is actually the one who killed Han.

Oh yeah...'spoiler alert'...

Has anyone seen the new one? Is it good?

[Galloism]

Ok, so you would probably appreciate this photo someone sent to me.

http://thefunniestpictures.com/wp-conte ... urious.jpg

I haven't actually seen it, but I was told about the fifteen minute scene on a runway.

Dude...fifteen minutes is probably short.

The source who sent this two me, who has gone flying with me on a couple occasions and flies commercially occasionally, said he checked his watch at approximately two minutes, thinking he had never been on a runway this long.

[Neo Art]

Immigration stories? Awesome. So when I was in Amsterdam I got REALLY high. like "fell into the canal" high. What I didn't realize until later was my passport was in my pocket when I went in but not when I got out.

And by later I mean 2 days later when our train got stopped at border check in Belgium.

So here I am in a Belgium holding cell trying to call home while explaining in bad french that I am not an illegal alien I just lost my passport.

Incidentally 9/11 happened 2 months prior. Things are...tense.

I finally get ahold of my mother back in New York who calls a family friend who was some mucky muck in the state department before he retired who made some calls and I get released.

But that was the day I spent in a Belgium prison.

[Bombadil]

Wait wait wait.... there's seven of them? I thought there were just four? 1, 2, drifty, and 2 fast 2 furious?

I fucking hate myself for this.

The Fast and the Furious
2 Fast 2 Furious
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Fast and Furious
Fast 5, The Fast and the Furious 5
Furious 6, The Fast and the Furious 6
...which at the end, Marvel style, had a tag with Jason Statham teased as the villain of the next one, implying he is actually the one who killed Han.

Oh yeah...'spoiler alert'...

I'm sure something like F7 is coming out very shortly,

EDIT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5hotVfGGIk - I saw some interviews recently

[Cannot think of a name]

I fucking hate myself for this.

The Fast and the Furious
2 Fast 2 Furious
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Fast and Furious
Fast 5, The Fast and the Furious 5
Furious 6, The Fast and the Furious 6
...which at the end, Marvel style, had a tag with Jason Statham teased as the villain of the next one, implying he is actually the one who killed Han.

Oh yeah...'spoiler alert'...

Has anyone seen the new one? Is it good?

Yeah...I mean, if you didn't leave the series after the cheesy computer animated chase through the tunnels between the US and Mexico then the ramped up ridiculous (the previous posts aren't kidding, there's like a super long car chase on a runway) that's present in this movie won't bother you.

It's...look, if you're old enough to remember The A-Team and then to have seen it as an adult and think, "Wait, adults wrote this?" It's that kind of shitty. Like, everything is fucking ridiculous unless you imagine it being told to you by a ten year old.

[Disserbia]

I fucking hate myself for this.

The Fast and the Furious
2 Fast 2 Furious
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Fast and Furious
Fast 5, The Fast and the Furious 5
Furious 6, The Fast and the Furious 6
...which at the end, Marvel style, had a tag with Jason Statham teased as the villain of the next one, implying he is actually the one who killed Han.

Oh yeah...'spoiler alert'...

I'm sure something like F7 is coming out very shortly,

EDIT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5hotVfGGIk - I saw some interviews recently

Fast and furious wombat II

[Disserbia]

Immigration stories? Awesome. So when I was in Amsterdam I got REALLY high. like "fell into the canal" high. What I didn't realize until later was my passport was in my pocket when I went in but not when I got out.

And by later I mean 2 days later when our train got stopped at border check in Belgium.

So here I am in a Belgium holding cell trying to call home while explaining in bad french that I am not an illegal alien I just lost my passport.

Incidentally 9/11 happened 2 months prior. Things are...tense.

I finally get ahold of my mother back in New York who calls a family friend who was some mucky muck in the state department before he retired who made some calls and I get released.

But that was the day I spent in a Belgium prison.

What is Belgian prison like?

[Galloism]

I'm sure something like F7 is coming out very shortly,

EDIT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5hotVfGGIk - I saw some interviews recently

Fast and furious wombat II

Doesn't sound bad, comparatively speaking.

[Galloism]

Immigration stories? Awesome. So when I was in Amsterdam I got REALLY high. like "fell into the canal" high. What I didn't realize until later was my passport was in my pocket when I went in but not when I got out.

And by later I mean 2 days later when our train got stopped at border check in Belgium.

So here I am in a Belgium holding cell trying to call home while explaining in bad french that I am not an illegal alien I just lost my passport.

Incidentally 9/11 happened 2 months prior. Things are...tense.

I finally get ahold of my mother back in New York who calls a family friend who was some mucky muck in the state department before he retired who made some calls and I get released.

But that was the day I spent in a Belgium prison.

What is Belgian prison like?

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

[Disserbia]

Has anyone seen the new one? Is it good?

Yeah...I mean, if you didn't leave the series after the cheesy computer animated chase through the tunnels between the US and Mexico then the ramped up ridiculous (the previous posts aren't kidding, there's like a super long car chase on a runway) that's present in this movie won't bother you.

It's...look, if you're old enough to remember The A-Team and then to have seen it as an adult and think, "Wait, adults wrote this?" It's that kind of shitty. Like, everything is fucking ridiculous unless you imagine it being told to you by a ten year old.

Okay thanks my friend said its really good but I think I might actually trust your opinion more.

[Neo Art]

Immigration stories? Awesome. So when I was in Amsterdam I got REALLY high. like "fell into the canal" high. What I didn't realize until later was my passport was in my pocket when I went in but not when I got out.

And by later I mean 2 days later when our train got stopped at border check in Belgium.

So here I am in a Belgium holding cell trying to call home while explaining in bad french that I am not an illegal alien I just lost my passport.

Incidentally 9/11 happened 2 months prior. Things are...tense.

I finally get ahold of my mother back in New York who calls a family friend who was some mucky muck in the state department before he retired who made some calls and I get released.

But that was the day I spent in a Belgium prison.

What is Belgian prison like?

Surprisingly clean.

[Spreewerke]

What is Belgian prison like?

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

This ol' line? Surely you can't be serious.

[Cannot think of a name]

I was going to say something like "Have some standards, man..." but I realized that even though I hate those movies I, too, watch them when they're on just for the car porn. Apparently just for the car porn because I just realized with 6 that Han died in 3 and yet appeared in 4, 5, and 6...so when he was sitting around training some squid from America how to drift he had already been an international precision driving heist man and millionaire...and then played second fiddle to a 'Drift King' and fucked around with a yakuza because...he was bored? Or something.

Which makes me angry, because now when they come around I have to pay attention because they set up the full circle at the end of six for seven so I have to figure out what the hell is supposed to be happening...and I don't even like the damn movies, they're like what me playing with my Hot Wheels would have looked like if it was filmed by Justin Lin...

Also, I have to watch Megaforce if it's on. Fortunately, that hardly ever comes up. Gymkata too.

Honestly, there are very few shitty action movies NA doesn't appear to need to watch whenever they come on TV. He made me sit through Transformers a while back despite the fact that by about 15 minutes in I was like, "...does this movie have any point at all beyond 'Things explode while Megan Fox has boobs!'?" and he freely admittedly that the answer was no.

Well, there's those two seconds where the helicopter makes the 'transforming' sound from the cartoons that's essentially Micheal Bay going "Fuck you, nerds, that's all you're getting out of me!"

[Disserbia]

What is Belgian prison like?

Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

No. Fuck no.

[Disserbia]

What is Belgian prison like?

Surprisingly clean.

I assumed as much. I know US prisons are among the worst in the western world.