Noah's Ark: The Flawed Literalist Interpretation

[Condunum]

Did you just use tabletop fantasy gaming terms to describe the great flood? I think I love you.

Oh, I did. And even better, I played by the limitations of each and every spell and item. I was genuinely curious if it was possible to replicate the Great Flood in a tabletop RPG using the rules given to me. Apparently it is, although seeing God running about changing shoes, flipping rings on and off His fingers, and Noah skulking about in the bushes to whack a Bengal tiger with a sleep rod in my head conjured up more laughter than I imagined it would.

I kept imagining Red Mage from 8-Bit Theater was narrating my description.

Red Mage is awesome and you are awesome for this. Although, I feel that if we have to apply spell limitations, we have to apply character limitations, no? And aren't some rulebooks fond of claiming that using too much magic can make you fall unconscious?

So how exactly does he do all this without passing out?

[The Orson Empire]

It may or may not be flawed. We don't really know.

[Condunum]

It may or may not be flawed. We don't really know.

No, it's entirely flawed. Not just through physics, but morally too.

[Nationalist State of Knox]

That's a bit of an eggsaggeration.

It's not my fault your yolk was an albumination.

Really? Egg puns crack me up.

Did you just use tabletop fantasy gaming terms to describe the great flood? I think I love you.

Oh, I did. And even better, I played by the limitations of each and every spell and item. I was genuinely curious if it was possible to replicate the Great Flood in a tabletop RPG using the rules given to me. Apparently it is, although seeing God running about changing shoes, flipping rings on and off His fingers, and Noah skulking about in the bushes to whack a Bengal tiger with a sleep rod in my head conjured up more laughter than I imagined it would.

I kept imagining Red Mage from 8-Bit Theater was narrating my description.

By doing so, you have single-handedly disproven my OP. I concede to thee.

[Of the Free Socialist Territories]

It may or may not be flawed. We don't really know.

Except we can conclude that it is flawed by looking at the figures involved; the maths of the water being one example.

[Condunum]

It's not my fault your yolk was an albumination.

Really? Egg puns crack me up.

Oh, I did. And even better, I played by the limitations of each and every spell and item. I was genuinely curious if it was possible to replicate the Great Flood in a tabletop RPG using the rules given to me. Apparently it is, although seeing God running about changing shoes, flipping rings on and off His fingers, and Noah skulking about in the bushes to whack a Bengal tiger with a sleep rod in my head conjured up more laughter than I imagined it would.

I kept imagining Red Mage from 8-Bit Theater was narrating my description.

By doing so, you have single-handedly disproven my OP. I concede to thee.

He chose the fifth option in the coolest fashion possible.

[Nationalist State of Knox]

It may or may not be flawed. We don't really know.

We do know.

[Frisivisia]

You're telling me that there might be an issue with the idea that God flooded the entire Earth suddenly and without warning and that one man managed to rebuild all of the animal life on Earth with only two of each kind, or that he even managed to get two of each kind? No way.

[Condunum]

You're telling me that there might be an issue with the idea that God flooded the entire Earth suddenly and without warning and that one man managed to rebuild all of the animal life on Earth with only two of each kind, or that he even managed to get two of each kind? No way.

Fucking crazy, right?

[Nationalist State of Knox]

You're telling me that there might be an issue with the idea that God flooded the entire Earth suddenly and without warning and that one man managed to rebuild all of the animal life on Earth with only two of each kind, or that he even managed to get two of each kind? No way.

It's an unlikely possibility, it doesn't mean we shouldn't explore it.

[Angle Empire]

(So much to refute, so little time!)
Most of your claims are answered here:

http://creation.com/noahs-ark-questions-and-answers

http://creation.com/noahs-flood-questions-and-answers

If you have an issue, ask one of their staff members here: http://creation.com/worldwide-contact-information

[Individuality-ness]

(So much to refute, so little time!)
Most of your claims are answered here:

http://creation.com/noahs-ark-questions-and-answers

http://creation.com/noahs-flood-questions-and-answers

A site called creation.com? That's an unbiased source?

Hold on, let me laugh harder.

[Frisivisia]

You're telling me that there might be an issue with the idea that God flooded the entire Earth suddenly and without warning and that one man managed to rebuild all of the animal life on Earth with only two of each kind, or that he even managed to get two of each kind? No way.

It's an unlikely possibility, it doesn't mean we shouldn't explore it.

Growing species from two individuals without killing it with inbreeding would be nigh impossible, not to mention that he only had eight humans, all of whom were related. There also remains the issue that there would have to be an all-powerful God, which is almost certainly untrue.

[Orham]

So how exactly does he do all this without passing out?

The Endurance feat might be taken to apply to spellcasting. If not, a homebrew Spellcasting Endurance feat does not seem particularly imbalanced or without merit.

[Tsuntion]

(So much to refute, so little time!)
Most of your claims are answered here:

http://creation.com/noahs-ark-questions-and-answers

http://creation.com/noahs-flood-questions-and-answers

If you have an issue, ask one of their staff members here: http://creation.com/worldwide-contact-information

Linkspam isn't nice and isn't encouraging of good discussion. Please summarise the major points made, in particular the ones relevant to the OP.

[Frisivisia]

You're telling me that there might be an issue with the idea that God flooded the entire Earth suddenly and without warning and that one man managed to rebuild all of the animal life on Earth with only two of each kind, or that he even managed to get two of each kind? No way.

Fucking crazy, right?

How could you not believe? Where do I put my tithing?

[Nationalist State of Knox]

(So much to refute, so little time!)
Most of your claims are answered here:

http://creation.com/noahs-ark-questions-and-answers

http://creation.com/noahs-flood-questions-and-answers

If you have an issue, ask one of their staff members here: http://creation.com/worldwide-contact-information

The first article I just looked at from there was complete nonsense. Actually debate a point rather than posting links.

[Tlaceceyaya]

(So much to refute, so little time!)
Most of your claims are answered here:

http://creation.com/noahs-ark-questions-and-answers

http://creation.com/noahs-flood-questions-and-answers

If you have an issue, ask one of their staff members here: http://creation.com/worldwide-contact-information

That first one leads to a link explaining how animals got on the ark.
That link is basically saying this: We can't explain Noah's Ark without evolution, so we'll suppose evolution is real for now. Obviously we'll say it's not when you forget about this and go on to genesis.

[Of the Free Socialist Territories]

(So much to refute, so little time!)
Most of your claims are answered here:

http://creation.com/noahs-ark-questions-and-answers

http://creation.com/noahs-flood-questions-and-answers

If you have an issue, ask one of their staff members here: http://creation.com/worldwide-contact-information

Pseudoscientific horseshit claiming that there are gigantic underground reservoirs of water large enough to flood the entire Earth to a depth of several kilometres, and that these all burst forth at the same time, is not evidence or a refutation.

It's "But, but, but, but what about THIS ridiculously unlikely scenario with no scientific basis! HA!"

[Condunum]

So how exactly does he do all this without passing out?

The Endurance feat might be taken to apply to spellcasting. If not, a homebrew Spellcasting Endurance feat does not seem particularly imbalanced or without merit.

Hmm... Well, I'm sure god could pull it off. Thanks

[Orham]

By doing so, you have single-handedly disproven my OP. I concede to thee.

*Victory Fanfare plays*

[Nationalist State of Knox]

It's an unlikely possibility, it doesn't mean we shouldn't explore it.

Growing species from two individuals without killing it with inbreeding would be nigh impossible, not to mention that he only had eight humans, all of whom were related. There also remains the issue that there would have to be an all-powerful God, which is almost certainly untrue.

Fallacious atheistic nonsense. Those who reject God are clearly incapable of grasping basic logical concepts.

[Condunum]

Fucking crazy, right?

How could you not believe? Where do I put my tithing?

*opens bag*

I'm collecting. I'll uhh... I'll make sure it gets there safe. You can trust me. I'm a descendant of Noah.

[Frisivisia]

Growing species from two individuals without killing it with inbreeding would be nigh impossible, not to mention that he only had eight humans, all of whom were related. There also remains the issue that there would have to be an all-powerful God, which is almost certainly untrue.

Fallacious atheistic nonsense. Those who reject God are clearly incapable of grasping basic logical concepts.

Until you find me proof that God exists, I'm going to go on not believing in him.

[Nationalist State of Knox]

(So much to refute, so little time!)
Most of your claims are answered here:

http://creation.com/noahs-ark-questions-and-answers

http://creation.com/noahs-flood-questions-and-answers

If you have an issue, ask one of their staff members here: http://creation.com/worldwide-contact-information

Pseudoscientific horseshit claiming that there are gigantic underground reservoirs of water large enough to flood the entire Earth to a depth of several kilometres, and that these all burst forth at the same time, is not evidence or a refutation.

It's "But, but, but, but what about THIS ridiculously unlikely scenario with no scientific basis! HA!"

I'm bookmarking that website so I can have a laugh from time to time.