Noah's Ark: The Flawed Literalist Interpretation

[Individuality-ness]

Oh lawd.

Well there's your Uni fees sorted, at least.

Hey, I'm equally as poor! I'll spend my surplus financial aid money on it though. *nod*

[Condunum]

OP summed it up pretty well. It's not even intellectually consistent to reconcile it to symbolism. What perfectly moral god would use the destruction of the entire human race as symbolism?

[Big Jim P]

If Knox burst into your Church naked except only for a large picture of Richard Dawkins and started haranguing you about your faith, that'd be harassment, but you're posting in this topic voluntarily because you want to.

Dude, I would pay to see that. *nod*

Sister, so would I.

[Nationalist State of Knox]

OP summed it up pretty well. It's not even intellectually consistent to reconcile it to symbolism. What perfectly moral god would use the destruction of the entire human race as symbolism?

Max Barry.

[Isolated China]

The fact someone had to post an entire explanation of why a literalist interpretation of Noah's Ark was impossible astounds me.
How could ANYONE take it as literal, that a boat made of wood, and smaller than the Titanic, could somehow store all available animal species and supplies for a year?

[Bundesdeutschland]

You don't have to believe if you don't want to. Really you don't! Go do your thing, harassing Christians and those who read the Bible, that's fine. You can't stop us Christians.

Harassing Christians?

When was the last time you had non-xtians knocking at your door first thing Saturday morning, attempting to get you to attend services?

You don't know what I've seen...

[Condunum]

OP summed it up pretty well. It's not even intellectually consistent to reconcile it to symbolism. What perfectly moral god would use the destruction of the entire human race as symbolism?

Max Barry.

God Max dammit, Knox.

[Greed and Death]

A majority of cultures have a flood myth.

Do you know why ?
Because generally culture requires writing. There are exceptions but generally writing is needed for a culture to develop.

Do you know what you need for writing ? Generally you need agriculture, hunter gathers generally do not need to write about what they hunt cave paintings do nicely. With agriculture there was however a need to look a head and have means to notate how much you needed in the future.

Do you know what you need for agriculture ? Water, no exceptions here plants need water. And before the development of dams wells and plumbing you got water by living in the floodplain of a river.

If you live in the floodplain of a river what is your greatest most dangerous natural disaster ? Why that would be floods. Flood mythology has to do with the fear of floods present in the early agricultural societies.

What about the Native Americans, who were hunter gatherer tribes and thus didn't practise agriculture?

Hunter Gatehers cultures tended to focus on the flood myths less and focused on myths related to the hardships they experienced.

For instance the vikings myths general focus around Winter, and well given where they live winter is their time of suffering. There is a Finnish Flood Myth sort of, in consist of 7 lines or about 34 words, and was likely more to do with demonstrating that the hero was so great that a slight knee injury would cover the world in gore. ( I do love those Fins they are crazy.)

[Grave_n_idle]

OP summed it up pretty well. It's not even intellectually consistent to reconcile it to symbolism. What perfectly moral god would use the destruction of the entire human race as symbolism?

"Now you're all dead, did you learn your lesson?"
"Anyone?"

"It's all gone quiet".

"Hmm".

[Of the Free Socialist Territories]

OP summed it up pretty well. It's not even intellectually consistent to reconcile it to symbolism. What perfectly moral god would use the destruction of the entire human race as symbolism?

Not the entire human race.

Silly Condy.

Almost the entire human race, except for 8 people, which makes a huge difference.

If all the human race were extinct then we'd have to be lizard-people or something silly like that.

[Big Jim P]

Harassing Christians?

When was the last time you had non-xtians knocking at your door first thing Saturday morning, attempting to get you to attend services?

You don't know what I've seen...

No, but I damn sure know what I have.

[Individuality-ness]

OP summed it up pretty well. It's not even intellectually consistent to reconcile it to symbolism. What perfectly moral god would use the destruction of the entire human race as symbolism?

Not the entire human race.

Silly Condy.

Almost the entire human race, except for 8 people, which makes a huge difference.

If all the human race were extinct then we'd have to be lizard-people or something silly like that.

Who says we aren't already lizard people? Checkmate atheists!

[Nationalist State of Knox]

The fact someone had to post an entire explanation of why a literalist interpretation of Noah's Ark was impossible astounds me.
How could ANYONE take it as literal, that a boat made of wood, and smaller than the Titanic, could somehow store all available animal species and supplies for a year?

If I'm honest, I had a hard time writing some of it, purely because I detest explaining things rendered impossible by common sense.

At one point I just wanted to break down and say "WELL ISN'T THIS ALL BLOODY OBVIOUS ANYWAY?"

[Condunum]

OP summed it up pretty well. It's not even intellectually consistent to reconcile it to symbolism. What perfectly moral god would use the destruction of the entire human race as symbolism?

Not the entire human race.

Silly Condy.

Almost the entire human race, except for 8 people, which makes a huge difference.

If all the human race were extinct then we'd have to be lizard-people or something silly like that.

Ah yes, silly me. Since he left 8 people alive, he's still the perfectly moral being we thought he was.

[Individuality-ness]

The fact someone had to post an entire explanation of why a literalist interpretation of Noah's Ark was impossible astounds me.
How could ANYONE take it as literal, that a boat made of wood, and smaller than the Titanic, could somehow store all available animal species and supplies for a year?

If I'm honest, I had a hard time writing some of it, purely because I detest explaining things rendered impossible by common sense.

At one point I just wanted to break down and say "WELL ISN'T THIS ALL BLOODY OBVIOUS ANYWAY?"

Because Jesus luvs us so!

[Bundesdeutschland]

You don't know what I've seen...

No, but I damn sure know what I have.

You might for yourself but not for those others... (Okay, now I'm really starting to go off-topic. This is bad!)

[Grave_n_idle]

Not the entire human race.

Silly Condy.

Almost the entire human race, except for 8 people, which makes a huge difference.

If all the human race were extinct then we'd have to be lizard-people or something silly like that.

Who says we aren't already lizard people? Checkmate atheists!

Lizards come in. Lizards go back out again.

You can't explain that.

[Condunum]

The fact someone had to post an entire explanation of why a literalist interpretation of Noah's Ark was impossible astounds me.
How could ANYONE take it as literal, that a boat made of wood, and smaller than the Titanic, could somehow store all available animal species and supplies for a year?

Why does it matter if it's even taken literally in the first place? As symbolism, there's still a plethora of reasoning as to why it's a shitty story that deserves nothing but contempt.

[Individuality-ness]

Who says we aren't already lizard people? Checkmate atheists!

Lizards come in. Lizards go back out again.

You can't explain that.

God. CHECKMATE ATHEISTS!!

[Nationalist State of Knox]

Harassing Christians?

When was the last time you had non-xtians knocking at your door first thing Saturday morning, attempting to get you to attend services?

You don't know what I've seen...

Would you care to?

[Big Jim P]

No, but I damn sure know what I have.

You might for yourself but not for those others... (Okay, now I'm really starting to go off-topic. This is bad!)

What I have seen is xtians doing a damn good job of persecuting everyone else, all the while whining that they, themselves are the ones being persecuted.

Not believing as xtians do is NOT persecution.

[/off topic]

[Condunum]

You lucky devil. I'm still drafting my excommunication letter.


Christian indoctrination is the same, Catholic or otherwise. It doesn't make the story any less false.

You don't have to believe if you don't want to. Really you don't! Go do your thing, harassing Christians and those who read the Bible, that's fine. You can't stop us Christians.

Your personal belief in a nonsensical, physically impossible story does not change the fact that this could never have happened.

[Nationalist State of Knox]

OP summed it up pretty well. It's not even intellectually consistent to reconcile it to symbolism. What perfectly moral god would use the destruction of the entire human race as symbolism?

Not the entire human race.

Silly Condy.

Almost the entire human race, except for 8 people, which makes a huge difference.

If all the human race were extinct then we'd have to be lizard-people or something silly like that.

The Flood was clearly the first step in the EU's master plan to set up the NWO.

[Condunum]

Not the entire human race.

Silly Condy.

Almost the entire human race, except for 8 people, which makes a huge difference.

If all the human race were extinct then we'd have to be lizard-people or something silly like that.

The Flood was clearly the first step in the EU's master plan to set up the NWO.

Fucking brilliant.

[Of the Free Socialist Territories]

Not the entire human race.

Silly Condy.

Almost the entire human race, except for 8 people, which makes a huge difference.

If all the human race were extinct then we'd have to be lizard-people or something silly like that.

The Flood was clearly the first step in the EU's master plan to set up the NWO.

Doesn't Gilgamesh sound just a little too much like...

Bilderberg?