Regarding Rape Culture: Its Presence and Method of Attack

[Xsyne]

It's a type of humour. Either you like it or you don't. It's a matter of personal preference.

Lots of people who don't like dark humour either.

There's lots of dark humor that doesn't promote rape.

Honestly, if dark humor is promoting the dark stuff it's doing a pretty terrible job at being dark humor.

[The Steel Magnolia]

There's lots of dark humor that doesn't promote rape.

Honestly, if dark humor is promoting the dark stuff it's doing a pretty terrible job at being dark humor.

...and? Sorry, you expect people who tell rape jokes to be funny?

[The Lone Alliance]

"ok i'm sorry someone did that to you but i don't think it's something you have to tell to the whole world. no offence.. "

Rape culture can be someone telling you not to tell anyone, absolutely. It's the method of shaming people that this has happened to by telling them this was their personal experience and they don't have to go around telling everyone.

Actually I will have to disagree on your point.
Nothing in that post suggested that the person was shaming you.

If you had posted "This reminds me of the time I watched my best friend get blown up" you would have most likely made the exact same response.

But it worries me that you seemed to jump to the conclusion that you were being shamed.

[The Steel Magnolia]

"ok i'm sorry someone did that to you but i don't think it's something you have to tell to the whole world. no offence.. "

Rape culture can be someone telling you not to tell anyone, absolutely. It's the method of shaming people that this has happened to by telling them this was their personal experience and they don't have to go around telling everyone.

Actually I will have to disagree on your point.
Nothing in that post suggested that the person was shaming you.

If you had posted "This reminds me of the time I watched my best friend get blown up" you would have most likely made the exact same response.

And in both cases, the person saying that is an asshole who wants people to shut up about their experiences, which means *gasp*, they contribute to a culture where people are silenced for daring to talk about their experience.

So no, actually. The person in that post was certainly designed to be shame inducing.

[The Lone Alliance]

And in both cases, the person saying that is an asshole who wants people to shut up about their experiences, which means *gasp*, they contribute to a culture where people are silenced for daring to talk about their experience. So no, actually. The person in that post was certainly designed to be shame inducing.

You know I once had someone try to strangle me to death once.

Did you want to see me post the above sentence?

[Gauntleted Fist]

And in both cases, the person saying that is an asshole who wants people to shut up about their experiences, which means *gasp*, they contribute to a culture where people are silenced for daring to talk about their experience. So no, actually. The person in that post was certainly designed to be shame inducing.

You know I once had someone try to strangle me to death once.

Did you want to see me post the above sentence?

What you want or any other site user wants has no relation to your ability to post it. Why these two things would or should be related is a mystery.

[The Lone Alliance]

What you want or any other site user wants has no relation to your ability to post it. Why these two things would or should be related is a mystery.

It is completely related, see, I go by the theory that most people don't like thinking about the many horrible things that happen in the world, ignorance is bliss, people don't want to think about thinks such as... the fact that while we both posted several people were raped and murdered. Do you think about that all the time? I would hope not. Basically most people keep a little bubble of ignorance around them, hearing about rape and other assorted bad things bursts their bubble for a few moment.

So again I ask, did you really want to hear me share that here?

[Gauntleted Fist]

What you want or any other site user wants has no relation to your ability to post it. Why these two things would or should be related is a mystery.

It is completely related, see, I go by the theory that most people don't like thinking about the many horrible things that happen in the world, ignorance is bliss, people don't want to think about thinks such as... the fact that while we both posted several people were raped and murdered. Do you think about that all the time? I would hope not. Basically most people keep a little bubble of ignorance around them, hearing about rape and other assorted bad things bursts their bubble for a few moment.

So again I ask, did you really want to hear me share that here?

No, I don't want to hear you share anything in particular, but I'm not going to demand you stop posting it. You see I, unlike you apparently, value discussing things 'nobody wants to talk about because ignorance is bliss'. Because the only way we solve problems and become familiar with them and how to deal with them is by discussing them.

[The Lone Alliance]

No, I don't want to hear you share anything in particular, but I'm not going to demand you stop posting it.

That person didn't demand either, saying what they 'thought' doesn't mean much of anything.

You see I, unlike you apparently, value discussing things 'nobody wants to talk about because ignorance is bliss'.

I said "Most people" not myself.

I know very well the horrible things that go on in the world, I know very well the bad things that go on as we speak, I've seen it, I've heard it, I've suffered a bit of my own as well. Hell, I know stuff that was done to people that's too horrific to even mention on this board, stuff I really wish I didn't know, but I'm not like that person either, I also won't tell someone I think they should stop.

Because the only way we solve problems and become familiar with them and how to deal with them is by discussing them.

Discussion and awareness isn't a fix all, we are all aware of climate change, but what have we really done about it?


How do we fix the culture of apathy.

[The Steel Magnolia]

No, I don't want to hear you share anything in particular, but I'm not going to demand you stop posting it.

That person didn't demand either, saying what they 'thought' doesn't mean much of anything.

You see I, unlike you apparently, value discussing things 'nobody wants to talk about because ignorance is bliss'.

I said "Most people" not myself.

I know very well the horrible things that go on in the world, I know very well the bad things that go on as we speak, I've seen it, I've heard it, I've suffered a bit of my own as well. Hell, I know stuff that was done to people that's too horrific to even mention on this board, stuff I really wish I didn't know, but I'm not like that person either, I also won't tell someone I think they should stop.

Because the only way we solve problems and become familiar with them and how to deal with them is by discussing them.

Discussion and awareness isn't a fix all, we are all aware of climate change, but what have we really done about it?


How do we fix the culture of apathy.

Maybe by not silencing those who speak out, hmm?

[Esternial]

There's lots of dark humor that doesn't promote rape.

Honestly, if dark humor is promoting the dark stuff it's doing a pretty terrible job at being dark humor.

No point in arguing, pretty much whatever you say now will be wrong according to Mags.

If Mag thinks your promoting rape, you're obviously promoting rape.

[Gravlen]

Honestly, if dark humor is promoting the dark stuff it's doing a pretty terrible job at being dark humor.

...and? Sorry, you expect people who tell rape jokes to be funny?

They can be. They just have to do it right.

I don't particularly like Sarah Silverman, but she's done it right. I really like Jimmy Carr, and he pulls it off too.

Daniel Tosh, on the other hand, is neither funny in general nor able to pull off a rape joke.

[The Grey Wolf]

I feel rape culture is an aspect primarily stemming from Patriarchy, even if it affects men and women. I feel this culture is part of a greater culture of hierarchy and oppression in class, race and gender and can only be truly erased if we eliminate this kind of hierarchy. For now TV stations can stop trying to get us to sympathize with rapist football players, punishments for rape should become stronger and we need to make informed consent a normal and necessary aspect of sex. The notion that "its not rape if the perseon doesent say no" has got to stop

You would love Communism.

[The Steel Magnolia]

...and? Sorry, you expect people who tell rape jokes to be funny?

They can be. They just have to do it right.

I don't particularly like Sarah Silverman, but she's done it right. I really like Jimmy Carr, and he pulls it off too.

Daniel Tosh, on the other hand, is neither funny in general nor able to pull off a rape joke.

Oh they can be, certainly. As a general rule, however...

[The Steel Magnolia]

Honestly, if dark humor is promoting the dark stuff it's doing a pretty terrible job at being dark humor.

No point in arguing, pretty much whatever you say now will be wrong according to Mags.

If Mag thinks your promoting rape, you're obviously promoting rape.

"Wouldn't it be funny if that girl was raped right now?"

Your seemingly incontestable urge to defend shitty comics and rapists reflects more on you than me.

[The Lone Alliance]

That person didn't demand either, saying what they 'thought' doesn't mean much of anything.

I said "Most people" not myself.

I know very well the horrible things that go on in the world, I know very well the bad things that go on as we speak, I've seen it, I've heard it, I've suffered a bit of my own as well. Hell, I know stuff that was done to people that's too horrific to even mention on this board, stuff I really wish I didn't know, but I'm not like that person either, I also won't tell someone I think they should stop.

Discussion and awareness isn't a fix all, we are all aware of climate change, but what have we really done about it?


How do we fix the culture of apathy.

Maybe by not silencing those who speak out, hmm?

You're assassinated for saying something>

People know rape happens, it's just I believe most people think there is nothing 'they' can do about it, why tell people what they already know, how does that change anything?

PS: Where's my sympathy?

[Nazi Flower Power]

I think another big part of rape culture, too, is people telling you not to tell anyone.
(Excuse me if this has already been brought up, but I'm bringing it up again!)

I came across a song on youtube a few days ago, that really hit me hard. It triggered me and empowered me all at the same time and before I knew it I was a pile of emotional mush in a chair.
Well I decided that I would share my thoughts. I said that I had been raped, and that this song really touched me, and if there were any other girls reading that out there, they should know that they are warriors too (the song is called Warrior). I've gotten a lot of 'thank you's and 'stay strong's which are nice and I appreciate. But then someone this morning commented and said: "ok i'm sorry someone did that to you but i don't think it's something you have to tell to the whole world. no offence.. "

Rape culture can be someone telling you not to tell anyone, absolutely. It's the method of shaming people that this has happened to by telling them this was their personal experience and they don't have to go around telling everyone.
While I agree, it's not something you have to tell everyone. I don't go into the grocery store and say "Hi I'm Shellby I was raped.", but I think that at events, during conversations of this nature, and especially on a song where every other comment is how all these girls are crying everywhere, it needs to be said, and people need to be more comfortable with sharing their experiences.
Okay rant over.

If you thought it was relevant to the conversation, it's OK to bring it up.

I've noticed before that Jews get the same kind of backlash for bringing up the Holocaust. Sometimes they bring it up and I don't understand WTF the Holocaust has to do with anything we were talking about, but everyone has their own issues that are important to them, and there's no need to get upset with them just for talking about what they had on their mind. Sometimes you just have to let people talk about what they want to talk about.

Considering everything that you've already gone through with the rape and the useless DA, you shouldn't have to keep it all bottled up.

[Nazi Flower Power]

If you had posted "This reminds me of the time I watched my best friend get blown up" you would have most likely made the exact same response.

I doubt that.

[The Parkus Empire]

Complain more when someone on TV implies a rape is justified. Just like with racial slurs. Harsher penalities for rapists, unless there's a study that shows it will lead to a lower conviction rate among jurors. Oh yeah, and have all jurys do classes before any sexual crime trial. And education in schools is a biggie. Start teaching early on about sex, power and shame, and how drunk women don't automatically consent, and how men are often victimized by sex crimes.

Really, there's a whole lot of shit that needs to be done.

[The Lone Alliance]

If you had posted "This reminds me of the time I watched my best friend get blown up" you would have most likely made the exact same response.

I doubt that.

I don't have time to dig through the garbage of youtube comments but I have seem someone say almost the exact same words about something that had nothing to do with rape but was also a very uncomfortable topic.

Oh yeah, it was about someone talking about how they played a song at someone's funeral and someone said something along the lines of "Please don't talk about funerals".

Complain more when someone on TV implies a rape is justified.

AKA almost never, the only time I've seen something like that said was by someone who was clearly a villain.

[Des-Bal]

And in both cases, the person saying that is an asshole who wants people to shut up about their experiences, which means *gasp*, they contribute to a culture where people are silenced for daring to talk about their experience.

So no, actually. The person in that post was certainly designed to be shame inducing.

I don't want to hear about your experiences with rape, murder, child abduction, or really most crimes during polite conversation. Asking someone to be situationally appropriate is not rape culture.

[Xsyne]

Honestly, if dark humor is promoting the dark stuff it's doing a pretty terrible job at being dark humor.

...and? Sorry, you expect people who tell rape jokes to be funny?

I'm saying that rape "jokes" don't even manage to qualify as dark humor.

[Choronzon]

And in both cases, the person saying that is an asshole who wants people to shut up about their experiences, which means *gasp*, they contribute to a culture where people are silenced for daring to talk about their experience.

So no, actually. The person in that post was certainly designed to be shame inducing.

I don't want to hear about your experiences with rape, murder, child abduction, or really most crimes during polite conversation. Asking someone to be situationally appropriate is not rape culture.

If you don't want to hear about someone's experiences you should just not participate in discussions where those experiences are entirely relevant.

[Xsyne]

Honestly, if dark humor is promoting the dark stuff it's doing a pretty terrible job at being dark humor.

No point in arguing, pretty much whatever you say now will be wrong according to Mags.

If Mag thinks your promoting rape, you're obviously promoting rape.

I'm not arguing with her.

[Des-Bal]

If you don't want to hear about someone's experiences you should just not participate in discussions where those experiences are entirely relevant.

If their experiences are relevant then they're being situationally appropriate and there's really no issue.