NSG's Millions

[Lackadaisical2]

a 30 million dollar hooker. (am I the only one who hates the new smilies?)

[Anti-Social Darwinism]

$300,000,000 is too much responsibility. I'd be perfectly happy with $1,000,000 (Hell, I'm happy with what I have). Conservately invested $1,000,000 would bring in an income of about $40,000/annum. That would be more than sufficient to live comfortably, especially if added to what I already have.

I've fantasized about having great wealth. The sticking point is always about what I'd have to do to maintain it, hiring lawyers and accountants and hoping they're honest, or else managing it myself which is too much like work.

[Anti-Social Darwinism]

a 30 million dollar hooker. (am I the only one who hates the new smilies?)

No, you're not.

[Hurdegaryp]

We have new smilies?



Damn, we do! I rather like this one, since it's resemblance with me is rather uncanny: a bald guy with glasses. We could use a few more smilies, though.

[Daistallia 2104]

Am I the only one who wants the money for space tourism?

I wonder if you could get 'er done in under the time line.

[Rejistania]

You remember how Brewster campaigns for None of the Above?

Now imagine that being done for the Pirate Party.

[Cameroi]

i don't NEED $300M!

i'll take a sure thing over a wager, if its a positive and useful sure thing, any damd day of the week.

not that i couldn't spend the $30M, or what have you. but that bussiness of not keeping anything i spent it on is discouraging. the last thing in hell this world needs is more gratuitous conspicuous consumption.

i could probably start construction on a bunch of pretty fancy homeless shelters and turn the project over to someone else to complete.

likewise a bunch of ultralightrail local transit systems in small to medium size towns as demonstration projects.

but i think it would make more sense to buy a bunch of really cheep land way out in the boonies with the ONE milion, and start a hippie comune on it.

that's just me anyway. now a days one million will just about buy you a fairly small decent piece of land and that's about it. there ain't no way i'd want to spend it on a bunch of fancy looking crap to try and impress anybody.

i've got a lot of expensive hobbies that all i can do is 'armchair', that i wouldn't mind throwing oodles of moolah at. but mostly for ways of doing things in them, not to collect a bunch of useless crap to set on the shelf and try and impress anybody.

i'm not impressed by what anybody has, only by what they create!

[Lapse]

I would register a new business in my name. I would then pay that business $30million to make me some pancakes.

All done, in one day! Plus: I get pancakes!!!

[Allanea]

The minimum sum of capital to be able to live off the interest without working (at a decent life-style, that is) is 2.5 million, and you'd need about $250k more to buy and outfit a house. So no, a million would be hideously insufficient.

So my mission would be to spend 30 million dollars in a month. Bear in mind, here, that I don't have to do it on something that's ridiculously fun. It has to get spent, however.

The proper way to do it, of course, is by throwing an epic party. For this purpose, I would go for the best.

I would rent Turtle Island, Fiji for $1,800,000 dollars for an entire month. One hundred friends, family, and awesome people from all over the world would be invited to share the time with me. The tickets (return and back) would cost us a minimum of $530,000. Since my friends likely would not be able to take an unpaid vacation for that long, I would have to assist them in recouping the lost wages – which would probably cost me another $200,000 or so.

Which leaves me with $2,530,000 spent. But I still have to spend another 27 million! What will I ever do?

You see, the party would gradually work itself towards a crescendo. A horde of three hundred strippers (male and female, two per every person present) will also be flown in and paid $500 per night. This will cost $6,590,000, including tickets to fly them all in. They will entertain everybody. Several bands will be hired to play on the island, which will cost about a million dollars (hiring a good band for a wedding or a party can cost five thousand dollars, and these play for maybe four hours at best. So about $30,000 per day, and additional fees for travel etc. Obviously the fees would be divided among separate bands.

Upon the 10th day of the party, I would announce the donation of 1.5 million dollars to charity (I'm allowed to do so, right?). To celebrate this, I would open the infamous bottle of 1787 Chateu Lafitte (a $150,000 bottle of wine, supposedly from the estate of Thomas Jefferson himself). Additionally, 1982 Chateau Lafitte bottles would be opened for my friends. 200 of those would be purchased – enough for everybody in the crowd to enjoy some of the $10k wine. Obviously, 'regular' wine and beer is already being served on the island.

At this stage, as the party slowly grows to crescendo, quality marijuana would be distributed to the guests. Assuming they consume it at one ounce/person/day, this would cost about two and a half million dollars (assuming prices of $400/ounce and $100,000 in bribes to the Fiji police to, err, look the other way).

Yet my party must get crazier, for I have almost 14 million dollars to spend. As we continue rocking out to the awesome music, getting high, and so forth, upon the 20th day of the party I will bet one and a half million dollars on a remote-betting enterprise of some kind. I will of course lose, and if not, I will bet again until I lose. To celebrate this momentous occasion, every man and woman on the island will receive a dozen extasy tablets per day for the rest of the party.

As we get higher and higher, like mothafucking kites, the world's more advanced politicians – Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Dan Quayle, and other such intellectual titans – will be requested to address the party at high speaking fees, one on a separate day. This may seem bizarre, but imagine trying to listen to these people while high on multiple drugs and flanked by strippers. The lulz would be epic. Alternatively, we can hire comedians.

On the 25th, a jet aerobatic display team will fly over the island for the benefit of my guests, in MiG-21s. This is sure to cost me at least $250,000.

Finally, on the last day of the month, the final and most awesome event of the month will occur.

Tuxedos will be rented for all male guests and appropriate clothing for the females. Including the cost to fly them in

Linus Torvalds himself will descend upon the island like a righteous God, with speaking fees of at least $100,000 (including transportation). Aubrey De Grey, David Freedman, and a few dozen other people would also be paid speaking fees so they would be present at what will surely be the most important event of my life. I intend to spend at least three million dollars to bring as many of my favorite celebrities in as possible. A city-grade fireworks show will be reserved for $200,000 (including fees to get the crews etc. there). Further, Metallica will be invited to play at the event. As will the Backstreet Boys, for contrast. That'll actually be comparatively cheap, costing me $50,000 per band.

Then I will appear before the cheering crowd. I will purchase time on CNN, Fox, and MSNBC to broadcast this epic event to the world, for $20,000 per thirty seconds of prime time on each (for an hour, so 1.2 million per station). Full-page ads in New York Times, Sunday Times, the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal and Guardian will also announce it for anybody who failed to notice it on TV.

I will give a short speech to the world about whatever the hell I feel like. At which point Rejistania, my beautiful fiancée, will appear on stage and address the world. She will be wearing the most expensive wedding dress I can possibly rent for her (I expect to spend at least a million dollars for the rent of the jewelry and wedding dress and the services of stylists so she can look even MORE FUCKING AWESOME than she usually does).

Finally, as $1000 chocolate truffles and $1000 sundaes are distributed to everybody involved, it will be revealed why perzactly I hired Linus Torvalds.

As the fireworks display begins and Metallica riffs are heard in the distance, Linus Torvalds will perform the marriage ceremony, making Rejistania my wife. On live international television.

And, at the end of the broadcast, with hundreds of millions watching, I will then kiss her, sealing the deal and the 300 million dollars.

Questions?

[Pure Metal]

i love that movie, but i'd probably bail and take the $1m. it would settle a lot of my families' debts, allow my folks to retire and give me a fair whack to put down on a house. financial security FTW. that's not to say the $300m isn't tempting though :p

[Yootopia]

Couldn't spend $30 million under those terms tbqh, so I'd accept the $1mil, which would set me up nicely without meaning I'd just be sat on my arse all day for the whole of my life.

[HC Eredivisie]

Am I the only one who wants the money for space tourism?

I wonder if you could get 'er done in under the time line.

Paying in advance should suffice, no?

[Rejistania]

Allanea, you are awesome!

[Jello Biafra]

a 30 million dollar hooker.

Don't be ridiculous.
Thirty one-million-dollar hookers.

[Chumblywumbly]

Simple, I'd get back into playing Warhammer/40k.

That should eat up 30 mil in no time.

[Muravyets]

I'd spend $30million to make a movie about wasting $30million. If it fails, then I've met the conditions of the game. If it succeeds, I won't need the $300mil.

Really, though, I'd probably just take the $1mil.

[Flammable Ice]

I think the easiest way to spend $30M would be to hire celebrities to do stuff. You'd need celebrities arrogant enough to think they deserve huge amounts for doing random stuff, but desperate enough to risk looking stupid.

[Tanaara]

I am not certain that all endowments count as charity. And spending for 'service' rather than 'property' is certainly doable in 30 days. Chartering a private jet ( with all the acciortements ) one for each of several friends and family can run a million a month easily.

Space tourism is an excellent thought - I don't know what the games ruling on that would be - you do have to pay up front but the multiple months long training you undergo before launch - might discount that. Though if I were judging I'd vette it as the money was spent with in the month.

Also paying for someone's surgery or other pricey medical treartmeets does not count as charitable donation - it's not going to any sort of registered ( 503c or other ) charity / non profit group and it certainly is not tax deductable. ( I can come up with any number of people who's medical treatment has topped a million dollars. )

I'd spend the $30 mil in a heartbeat and donate the vast majority of what I won to my favorite charities. I'd be perfectly happy with just a million myself, but to have that to donate to others? Oh my heart goes pitty pat!

[Sekirei]

I'd buy a house in Tokyo, then Osaka, and then I'd give Gokurakuin Sakurako and Lynn Okamoto each $15 mil for writing goood manga, and the rest would be reserved for redbull and crack food and home payments. Also money for mom so I can say "Screw you!"

[Rolling Dead]

Purchase a Prius and do as much stuff to it as possible.

Then I could start up my street racing career.

[Luna Amore]

I'd pay to have the internet shut down for a day... somehow. That should take care the $30 million.

Barring that, I'd buy extremely rare coinage and tender and spend that at face value. Maybe an expensive stamp or two.

[Cameroi]

The minimum sum of capital to be able to live off the interest without working (at a decent life-style, that is) is 2.5 million, and you'd need about $250k more to buy and outfit a house. So no, a million would be hideously insufficient. ...

this is the problem with thinking in terms of money instead of the enjoyment you might get out of what you do with it. screw BUYING a house. that's just trying to impress somebody else bullshit, that gratifies nothing.

tools and materials and skills to BUILD, cost FAR less. as does a little chunck of land out in the boonies.
of course if america was REALLY a free country, we'd be able to live in our own hand improvised shelter to our hearts content.

you don't want to live in a cave? fine. so don't live in a cave. but how in the hell does that require anyone to require anyone else not to?

all i'd need to live on is a couple of hundred a month, at most for groceries, plus enough to keep up the property tax on a piece of land assessed as undeveloped or nearly so.

then a little to set aside in the bank to accumulate to keep up with advancing technology, and i don't mean i'd need every game system and bleeding edge everything either. just a little upgrade once ever four or five years.

no. putting trying to impress each other ahead of the kind of world we all have to live in is precisely what's wrong with the dominant culture, and doesn't gratify a damd thing either.

[Vault 10]

spend $30 million in month in order to inherit $300 million.
---
Rules:
At the end of the month, must not own assets that were not already yours prior to accepting the challenge
Must gain value for services of anyone you hire
Only donate 5% to charity, lose 5% by gambling
Cannot waste money by buying expensive goods and then destroying or giving them away

Allanea has won this.

But even if we tighten the rules so that you can't waste the money on fail investments and can't spend it on hundreds of guests, but have to do it in an egoistic manner all for yourself, I still could do it.
And even have fun at that. It would include having an orbit jump on the SpaceshipOne and demo flights on Mig jets. And yes - this wouldn't be wasting - it would be things I'd very much love to do, but can't afford.

This is 10 million, the rest 17 (3 charity/gambling)... well, I figure, once I started living high, I'd have no trouble figuring out how to spend them. I'm not even sure if I'd use the whole 3 million charity&gambling allowance on these things, or actually spend it.
[ Actually, making a tour to the ISS costs ~26 million, but I'm afraid the training time is over a month. ]

The most difficult part, I think, would be spending the last million, and even more difficult the last $100,000. There you wouldn't be able to go all wild, and have to match the budget precisely.
On the other hand, that's what charity bit is for.

[Verdigroth]

I can think of a few ways to spend this money without violating the rules.

take 5% for charity and invest in books by Max Barry and then give them to libraries to help with literacy.

Hire Uwe Boll to make a movie...leverage the ownership of the movie with other investors so that when it flops they take possession of it...sit back and watch it flop.

[The Blaatschapen]

a 30 million dollar hooker. (am I the only one who hates the new smilies?)

Good one. I wonder how much some of these nice actresses cost

I'd also get massively drunk and leave a huge tip at the bar.

And travelling. I'll just travel to the bribal belt and make sure it's all last minute so I have to pay the highest prices. And the fanciest hotels ofcourse.

Oh, and one massive NSG party in some expensive place. How's London these days? Anyone up for a big party at The Savoy?