The Girlfriend Zone

[EnragedMaldivians]

Don't project your shitty behavior onto me.

So often in threads like these I want to shout at the 'guys' trying to defend 'guys' "STOP HELPING! Just...just you be shitty, there's no need to drag me into this, man..."

What, you don't find being described as a narcisstic, manipulative, sex-obsessed, drooling lunatic, incapable of having platonic relationships with women to be a flattering charecterization of you?

[Choronzon]

So often in threads like these I want to shout at the 'guys' trying to defend 'guys' "STOP HELPING! Just...just you be shitty, there's no need to drag me into this, man..."

What, you don't find being described as a narcisstic, manipulative, sex-obsessed, drooling lunatic, incapable of having platonic relationships with women to be a flattering charecterization of you?

Yes indeed, it seems I can like a woman as a person and not just view her as a sex object.

[Antares XII]

I've had a number of female friends who know what I look for in a relationship, have spent time with me, shared personal stories with me, then seem surprised if I expressed any romantic interest in them.

Because most of the time, people take offers of friendship at face value and if someone hasn't made it known that they have other intentions, it's entirely reasonable to assume that they want to be friends. I think that it would be extremely arrogant to walk through life assuming everyone wants to bone you.

Its just personal experience, but if a girl tells me what she's looking for and then I take those actions, why is that any more surprising then the opposite?

If you're interested in a woman, just tell her. Don't dawdle around and be like "oh, I'm going to listen to everything you say and pretend to want nothing other than friendship from you" and then drop it on them. Say it upfront and if you get rejected you get rejected. Don't pretend to just want to be someone's friend and then surprise them with how attractive you find them later.

What about the people who honestly just want to be friends, who aren't thinking "Oh, this girl might potentially be a good girlfriend"? What happens when they genuinely come to care for their friends? Is that inexcusable? Is it a crime? Honestly, you people claiming the friendzone doesn't exist are inexplicably, infinitely, willfully ignorant. Not every guy out there makes friends based on the sole intent of finding a mate, or a significant other. And sometimes people just want to be reasonably certain that they know the person they're interested in, that they can be trusted, before they get too serious and dedicated. And some females actually do use the friendzone as a quick, blameless out to turn guys down. And some of them also do the whole "*cries* I just want a nice guy! *turns down nice guy friend and gets with an asshole* Why are all men such douchebags?! *cries*" thing. Not all of them, no... but it does happen. And everyone has a little whorish tendency in them. Everyone. Some just have more (or less) than others.

So, don't deny that this happens. It does. It's a real phenomenon. And it's stupid.

And when it comes to myself, I've been there. And I think that the girl in question is manipulative, doesn't make logically sound decisions, and is insanely, infuriatingly stubborn. But those are all properties that many people have (including myself), and I truly love her and care about her, so I will continue to be her friend and support her in her decisions. Because more than anything, I just want her to be happy. Take from that what you will.

[New England and The Maritimes]

All things being said, I can understand the emotional outbursts of people with regards to the friend zone crap. It really sucks when you're suffering and it feels a lot better to try and find blame, even when there really isn't any blame to be placed. I get that. Just... try to think about this problem and look inward and understand what is really going on. Take a few hours to analyze what you're doing and what's happened to you, see if there's really any need for blaming and name calling, or if you're doing that as a way to release frustration on people who probably don't deserve the abuse.

[Anachronous Rex]

What an absolutely pathetic rant. It's almost as pathetic as the fact that you missed what not only was obvious satire, but obvious satire that was stated to be satire in the OP.



Yeah, you sound like a keeper. Hahahahaha.

My rant isn't pathetic, this is:

OH MY GOSH WHAT AN UNGRATEFUL LITTLE F*** YOU'RE SO FULL OF YOURSELF, BLAHABLAHBLAH, MY GOODNESS KILL IT WITH FIRE!! YOU ARE AN INSULT TO MANY BOYS WHO WANT TO HAVE A DECENT RELATIONSHIP OH MY GOODNESS F***** ***** *** YOU PUSSY-DOUCHE!!! THERE IS A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU, YOU ARE ONE BITCH ASKING FOR IT, YOU MAY ACT ALL NICE BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY DO! YOU JUST PUT THE CARROT IN FRONT OF THE DUDE SO HE'LL MOVE FORWARD WHILE YOU RIDE HIM, OMG OMG YOU IS A VERY PATHETIC WASTE OF SPACE NERF, NERF, NERF, NEVER WOULD HAVE BELIEVED PEOPLE LIKE YOU EXISTED, MY GOODNESS YOU'RE HORRIBLE, DEPRAVED BLAHABLABLAH
-----------------------------
That is a rant, and its very common in satirical articles like this, so forgive me little Missy if that was pathetic.

I can't help but admire the sort of repressed psyche that drops several F-bombs, but then says, "my goodness," repeatedly in a vitriolic rant.

Just speaks volumes, don't you think?

[Nadkor]

What, you don't find being described as a narcisstic, manipulative, sex-obsessed, drooling lunatic, incapable of having platonic relationships with women to be a flattering charecterization of you?

Yes indeed, it seems I can like a woman as a person and not just view her as a sex object.

Now that's just crazy talk.

[Individuality-ness]

What an absolutely pathetic rant. It's almost as pathetic as the fact that you missed what not only was obvious satire, but obvious satire that was stated to be satire in the OP.



Yeah, you sound like a keeper. Hahahahaha.

My rant isn't pathetic, this is:

OH MY GOSH WHAT AN UNGRATEFUL LITTLE F*** YOU'RE SO FULL OF YOURSELF, BLAHABLAHBLAH, MY GOODNESS KILL IT WITH FIRE!! YOU ARE AN INSULT TO MANY BOYS WHO WANT TO HAVE A DECENT RELATIONSHIP OH MY GOODNESS F***** ***** *** YOU PUSSY-DOUCHE!!! THERE IS A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU, YOU ARE ONE BITCH ASKING FOR IT, YOU MAY ACT ALL NICE BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY DO! YOU JUST PUT THE CARROT IN FRONT OF THE DUDE SO HE'LL MOVE FORWARD WHILE YOU RIDE HIM, OMG OMG YOU IS A VERY PATHETIC WASTE OF SPACE NERF, NERF, NERF, NEVER WOULD HAVE BELIEVED PEOPLE LIKE YOU EXISTED, MY GOODNESS YOU'RE HORRIBLE, DEPRAVED BLAHABLABLAH
-----------------------------
That is a rant, and its very common in satirical articles like this, so forgive me little Missy if that was pathetic.

Grow up.

[Individuality-ness]

Because the only reason a guy wants to hang out with a girl is because he wants to bang her, and if he doesn't want to bang her, he's either gay or the girl's ugly, since guys can't just want to hang out with a friend. *roll*

I really hate to take this position, as it brings me into conflict with you my love, but I'm afraid that... I pretty much do want to bang all of my attractive female friends (almost be definition, they "attract" me, after all.)

The bit about not wanting to hang out with unattractive women is bullshit, however.

Silly Rex.

[Anachronous Rex]

Yes indeed, it seems I can like a woman as a person and not just view her as a sex object.

Now that's just crazy talk.

What?! How did you know my Indian name?

[EnragedMaldivians]

What an absolutely pathetic rant. It's almost as pathetic as the fact that you missed what not only was obvious satire, but obvious satire that was stated to be satire in the OP.



Yeah, you sound like a keeper. Hahahahaha.

My rant isn't pathetic, this is:

OH MY GOSH WHAT AN UNGRATEFUL LITTLE F*** YOU'RE SO FULL OF YOURSELF, BLAHABLAHBLAH, MY GOODNESS KILL IT WITH FIRE!! YOU ARE AN INSULT TO MANY BOYS WHO WANT TO HAVE A DECENT RELATIONSHIP OH MY GOODNESS F***** ***** *** YOU PUSSY-DOUCHE!!! THERE IS A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU, YOU ARE ONE BITCH ASKING FOR IT, YOU MAY ACT ALL NICE BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY DO! YOU JUST PUT THE CARROT IN FRONT OF THE DUDE SO HE'LL MOVE FORWARD WHILE YOU RIDE HIM, OMG OMG YOU IS A VERY PATHETIC WASTE OF SPACE NERF, NERF, NERF, NEVER WOULD HAVE BELIEVED PEOPLE LIKE YOU EXISTED, MY GOODNESS YOU'RE HORRIBLE, DEPRAVED BLAHABLABLAH
-----------------------------
That is a rant, and its very common in satirical articles like this, so forgive me little Missy if that was pathetic.

Giving some bizzare hypothetical example of behaviour that is even more pathetic than yours does not make your own behaviour less pathetic.

And no, no need to apologize. It's 5:35 am, I can't sleep, and reading your insane rants is strangely amusing at this hour.

[Choronzon]

Yes indeed, it seems I can like a woman as a person and not just view her as a sex object.

Now that's just crazy talk.

I know, my female family members were surprised yet relieved.

[EnragedMaldivians]

What, you don't find being described as a narcisstic, manipulative, sex-obsessed, drooling lunatic, incapable of having platonic relationships with women to be a flattering charecterization of you?

Yes indeed, it seems I can like a woman as a person and not just view her as a sex object.

So what you're saying is....

You friendzone them?

You monster.

[Choronzon]

Yes indeed, it seems I can like a woman as a person and not just view her as a sex object.

So what you're saying is....

You friendzone them?

You monster.

All the women in my life are incredibly disappointed.

[Hathradic States]

The friendzone sucks when you really are attracted to someone.

And, I can't speak for the rest of my fellow males, but I don't automatically sexualize my female friends, especially when I'm taken (which was a majority of my time, and is going to be from now 'til death)

[Choronzon]

The friendzone sucks when you really are attracted to someone.

And, I can't speak for the rest of my fellow males, but I don't automatically sexualize my female friends, especially when I'm taken (which was a majority of my time, and is going to be from now 'til death)

He wasted no time telling everyone for the 100th time.

[Hathradic States]

The friendzone sucks when you really are attracted to someone.

And, I can't speak for the rest of my fellow males, but I don't automatically sexualize my female friends, especially when I'm taken (which was a majority of my time, and is going to be from now 'til death)

He wasted no time telling everyone for the 100th time.

Hey, buddy, can you lay off the personal attacks, pretty please? This isn't the thread for that.

[EnragedMaldivians]

All things being said, I can understand the emotional outbursts of people with regards to the friend zone crap. It really sucks when you're suffering and it feels a lot better to try and find blame, even when there really isn't any blame to be placed. I get that. Just... try to think about this problem and look inward and understand what is really going on. Take a few hours to analyze what you're doing and what's happened to you, see if there's really any need for blaming and name calling, or if you're doing that as a way to release frustration on people who probably don't deserve the abuse.

Actually that's fine. Nobody's perfect. We all have shitty thoughts, racist thoughts and yes, sexist thoughts. It's not simply having those thoughts that make you a bad person; it's refusing to acknowledge them for what they are; it's validating them by pretending they're appropriate and defending them as appropriate.

If a girl or a guy rejects you, and it makes you feel bitter, that's not abnormal. It's not very nice, but you're human, and again, humans have shitty thoughts. But how do you handle it? Do you acknowledge that your bitterness is unfair to the person it's directed at? Do you, despite your dissapointment, recognize that the onus is on you to handle it like an adult? Then that's fine. That doesn't make you a bad person at all, beyond having common human foibles, for which you are able to take responsibility.

It's when you embrace that bitterness as perfectly legitimate; when you embrace your thoughts of blaming the person who did not reciprocate your interest as an honest assesment of the situation; when you do not take responsibility for and acknowledge the unfair and sexist thoughts you are having, but instead go on rants about being frinedzoned in the hopes that other people will start to take pity on you, and when you start to blame the entire gender of the person who dared not to be sexually interested in you...that's when the line is crossed.

[The Steel Magnolia]

I am a nice guy so im really bad off.
And girls i no act like thay like me f@$ing tell me so and then they say mean things to me.
I wonder why?

This is beautiful.

[Hathradic States]

All things being said, I can understand the emotional outbursts of people with regards to the friend zone crap. It really sucks when you're suffering and it feels a lot better to try and find blame, even when there really isn't any blame to be placed. I get that. Just... try to think about this problem and look inward and understand what is really going on. Take a few hours to analyze what you're doing and what's happened to you, see if there's really any need for blaming and name calling, or if you're doing that as a way to release frustration on people who probably don't deserve the abuse.

Actually that's fine. Nobody's perfect. We all have shitty thoughts, racist thoughts and yes, sexist thoughts. It's not simply having those thoughts that make you a bad person; it's refusing to acknowledge them for what they are; it's validating them by pretending they're appropriate and defending them as appropriate.

If a girl or a guy rejects you, and it makes you feel bitter, that's not abnormal. It's not very nice, but you're human, and again, humans have shitty thoughts. But how do you handle it? Do you acknowledge that your bitterness is unfair to the person it's directed at? Do you, despite your dissapointment, recognize that the onus is on you to handle it like an adult? Then that's fine. That doesn't make you a bad person at all, beyond having common human foibles, for which you are able to take responsibility.

It's when you embrace that bitterness as perfectly legitimate; when you embrace your thoughts of blaming the person who did not reciprocate your interest as an honest assesment of the situation; when you do not take responsibility for and acknowledge the unfair and sexist thoughts you are having, but instead go on rants about being frinedzoned in the hopes that other people will start to take pity on you, and when you start to blame the entire gender of the person who dared not to be sexually interested in you...that's when the line is crossed.

I find it best to just rant a bit, then get back in the game. Don't let one loss deter you, etc, etc. so forth, etc.

[Arkhane]

My rant isn't pathetic, this is:

OH MY GOSH WHAT AN UNGRATEFUL LITTLE F*** YOU'RE SO FULL OF YOURSELF, BLAHABLAHBLAH, MY GOODNESS KILL IT WITH FIRE!! YOU ARE AN INSULT TO MANY BOYS WHO WANT TO HAVE A DECENT RELATIONSHIP OH MY GOODNESS F***** ***** *** YOU PUSSY-DOUCHE!!! THERE IS A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU, YOU ARE ONE BITCH ASKING FOR IT, YOU MAY ACT ALL NICE BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY DO! YOU JUST PUT THE CARROT IN FRONT OF THE DUDE SO HE'LL MOVE FORWARD WHILE YOU RIDE HIM, OMG OMG YOU IS A VERY PATHETIC WASTE OF SPACE NERF, NERF, NERF, NEVER WOULD HAVE BELIEVED PEOPLE LIKE YOU EXISTED, MY GOODNESS YOU'RE HORRIBLE, DEPRAVED BLAHABLABLAH
-----------------------------
That is a rant, and its very common in satirical articles like this, so forgive me little Missy if that was pathetic.

I can't help but admire the sort of repressed psyche that drops several F-bombs, but then says, "my goodness," repeatedly in a vitriolic rant.

Just speaks volumes, don't you think?

I don't really swear, mind you, but since this is just a comment, I guess I can make an exception, but typing those words unnerved me a little so the result became a ricocheted mess with a desperate attempt at word-play. I don't mind though, I just set that as an example.

[The Steel Magnolia]

I can't help but admire the sort of repressed psyche that drops several F-bombs, but then says, "my goodness," repeatedly in a vitriolic rant.

Just speaks volumes, don't you think?

I don't really swear, mind you, but since this is just a comment, I guess I can make an exception, but typing those words unnerved me a little so the result became a ricocheted mess with a desperate attempt at word-play. I don't mind though, I just set that as an example.

God you`re precious.

[The Steel Magnolia]

Also seriously, when did the age level of NSG drop to 14?

[Choronzon]

Also seriously, when did the age level of NSG drop to 14?

When school got out.

[New England and The Maritimes]

Also seriously, when did the age level of NSG drop to 14?

Check your calendar.

[Nadkor]

Also seriously, when did the age level of NSG drop to 14?

As Guns N' Roses nearly sang, Welcome to the Summer.