Giant crack in Ethiopia may create a new ocean

[Gun Manufacturers]

If you want to make it faster, get a dadgum crowbar.

Crowbar would be too small. You'll need a jackhammer for that kind of work.

I think we'd need more than 10 shots to make the crack grow faster.

[Helgrin]

If you want to make it faster, get a dadgum crowbar.

Crowbar would be too small. You'll need a jackhammer for that kind of work.

I think we'd need more than 10 shots to make the crack grow faster.

We could throw grenades at it.

[Lunatic Goofballs]

We could fill the crack with water and then wait for winter. ...in Ethiopia.... shit.

[Maurepas]

We could fill the crack with water and then wait for winter. ...in Ethiopia.... shit.

We should fill it with liquid nitrogen and wait for Summer! Much more efficient,

[Barringtonia]

If anyone's interested in my Ethiopian beach unit timeshare scheme...

[Helgrin]

We could fill the crack with water and then wait for winter. ...in Ethiopia.... shit.

We should fill it with liquid nitrogen and wait for Summer! Much more efficient,

Or we could chuck a metric shit-ton of sodium in the lakes.

[Dumb Ideologies]

And those cheeky fuckers have the nerve to go "help us, give us water".

The impatience! I for one am cancelling my charitable donations right away.

[New Kereptica]

We could fill the crack with water and then wait for winter. ...in Ethiopia.... shit.

We should fill it with liquid nitrogen and wait for Summer! Much more efficient,

Or we could chuck a metric shit-ton of sodium in the lakes.

There are only like 6 in the whole country.

[Barringtonia]

Hi, my name is Troy McClure, you may remember me from such classics as 'Viagra, Vioxx, cheap $$$' and 'Dear Trusted Friend, my father is the former finance minister of Nigeria..' and I'm here with a brand new offer that's simply unbeatable.

Did you know that spectacular beachside property is being formed right now in Ethiopa. That's right, previously arid land, by the magic of tectonics, is now being transformed into a view you can only dream of... until now!

*cut to man in white overcoat using long words to unconvincingly make the case for beachfront property*

Step right up ladies and gentlemen because this offer is running out quicker than food in Ethiopia!


*Artists impression only, reality may vary*

Place your downpayment with Troy McClure Property Investments Ltd*. to secure your spot in the sun right now.
*Association with Madoff Investments is currently under investigation, all assets may be seized and you could be called into court to testify*

Why wait any longer!

[Straughn]

What a horrible time to be born in.

Boy howdy. Just review the political threads.

[Lunatic Goofballs]

And those cheeky fuckers have the nerve to go "help us, give us water".

The impatience! I for one am cancelling my charitable donations right away.

Invest in real estate instead. Barringtonia has a line on some future seaside property.

[Barringtonia]

And those cheeky fuckers have the nerve to go "help us, give us water".

The impatience! I for one am cancelling my charitable donations right away.

Invest in real estate instead. Barringtonia has a line on some future seaside property.

Just to help your decision, I'm looking to buy Hitler's house so I can move it to Ethiopia, I figure in a million years the controversy will have died down but it will still be an interesting historic buy.

[Pope Joan]

Is this an extension of the Great Rift?

I say we send every available paleoanthropologist out there to dig while they still can.

[Arumdaum]

Well we were certainly born into a boring century.

[Shoedom]

i've been a geology student and this is not new info at all...we've been hearing this for years.

[Sarkhaan]

Is this an extension of the Great Rift?

I say we send every available paleoanthropologist out there to dig while they still can.

Yep...part of the Great Rift Valley split pretty wide pretty quickly. I think it's way cooler that there is going to be another continent than the fact that there is going to be another ocean, personally.

Also, yeah, we should probably dig the area up a little faster, given that is the area in which humans are suposed to have originated.

[Garimidia]

Poor old Somalia. Misses out on everything.

[Blouman Empire]

Is it going to be an ocean or a sea?

[Barringtonia]

Is it going to be an ocean or a sea?

Man, and I had the brochures printed already.

*please be ocean, please be ocean*

[Neu California]

Is it going to be an ocean or a sea?

Man, and I had the brochures printed already.

*please be ocean, please be ocean*

The article said ocean (at least the title)

[Pope Joan]

I notice this tectonic activity is also said to be "parting the Red Sea".

Now if this is followed by a pillar of cloud by day and of fire by night, I would take serious note.

I have wondered if the events reported in Exodus, including the fire and smoke on Mount Sinai, might not have been the result of seismic activity.

[Blouman Empire]

Is it going to be an ocean or a sea?

Man, and I had the brochures printed already.

*please be ocean, please be ocean*

The article said ocean (at least the title)

Yeah but by saying Ocean it makes it much more exciting to hear about and thus more printable.

[Alsatian Knights]

I wonder what they should call it...

Puts a new spin on Ethiopia being the ass crack of the world...hardee har har.