Child Discipline

[The Emerald Dawn]

Not the worst NSG has to offer, but it's getting there.

There's always something worse on NSG.

I personally plan on kicking the door down to my kid's room, when they've done something wrong, and shouting:

"I'M A GOD MOTHERFUCKER THERE'S A PRICE TO PAY, I'M A GOD MOTHERFUCKER AND ITS JUDGEMENT DAY!"

[Divair]

There's always something worse on NSG.

I personally plan on kicking the door down to my kid's room, when they've done something wrong, and shouting:

"I'M A GOD MOTHERFUCKER THERE'S A PRICE TO PAY, I'M A GOD MOTHERFUCKER AND ITS JUDGEMENT DAY!"

Brilliant.

[Mkuki]

How about it isn't the way to go? Why not treat your kid as a human and not, y'know, like a damn dog?

'Cause for now, he ACTS LIKE A DAMN DOG WITHOUT SPANKINGS!

Then it's clear your spankings only instill fear and aren't working.

[Esternial]

How about it isn't the way to go? Why not treat your kid as a human and not, y'know, like a damn dog?

'Cause for now, he ACTS LIKE A DAMN DOG WITHOUT SPANKINGS!

Has more to do with how you can't raise a child like a human being.

If you raise someone like a dog then how are you even surprised he acts like one?

[Freelanderness]

I seem to remember several studies showing the detriment to the child's development caused by corporal punishment?

[Mkuki]

Then it's clear your spankings only instill fear and aren't working.

FEAR MAKES HIM LISTEN!

I'd suggest going for respect and not fear.

[Kamchastkia]

FEAR MAKES HIM LISTEN!

I'd suggest going for respect and not fear.

Exactly, Generally, I have no respect for my father who is usually the one who would do physical punishment. My father wonders why me and my brother do not "love him" as much as we do our mother, it is generally because he is the one with the short temper who would rather beat sense into us, rather than teach us anything valuable. He'd rather use his hand to hit me, rather than make a valid attempt at trying to develop a relationship. Fear is not the same as respect. Fear inspires hatred.

[Desperate Measures]

Well, yeah - that IS awesome. But the whole sleeping with the kid until they are in third grade is not so very awesome.

Why?

I'm big on fostering independence. It just seems to go against that.

[Ethel mermania]

Well, yeah - that IS awesome. But the whole sleeping with the kid until they are in third grade is not so very awesome.

Why?

sex! sheesh you think the mrs is going to wake you up with a bj with little nevrun in the bed with you.

[NERVUN]

Why?

I'm big on fostering independence. It just seems to go against that.

Don't seem to have that problem with the boys... actually quite the opposite.

sex! sheesh you think the mrs is going to wake you up with a bj with little nevrun in the bed with you.

It's called scheduling... Just put down an extra futon in another room and have everything you need for enjoyable fun time standing by.

I admit though... after last night with BOTH monkeys deciding that they wanted to sing (two different songs) at 10 at night, after I shut off the light, I was giving thoughts to tossing the both of them upstairs.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

I'd suggest going for respect and not fear.

Exactly, Generally, I have no respect for my father who is usually the one who would do physical punishment. My father wonders why me and my brother do not "love him" as much as we do our mother, it is generally because he is the one with the short temper who would rather beat sense into us, rather than teach us anything valuable. He'd rather use his hand to hit me, rather than make a valid attempt at trying to develop a relationship. Fear is not the same as respect. Fear inspires hatred.

Pretty much agreed there. One thing is instilling respect, another one is instilling fear.

My dad used the belt on me only three times in my life, but for the most part he and I have tried to get outside of our own self-centered selves and develop a relationship. It's rewarding when you grow those ties with your parent.

[Ashmoria]

I think that having a baby and having a life shouldn't be mutually exclusive.

Where does any of that say I won't have a life?

that's what you describe. "baby wearing" isn't putting little johnny in a backpack now and then while you take a stroll. its chaining yourself to your baby for most of the hours of the day.

.....

well it doesn't matter. you'll see for yourself when you have a child. just remember that you aren't a failure if it turns out that you need non-mommy time on a regular basis.

[Saint Jade IV]

You do not have the unfettered right to hit your child. I encourage you to avoid testing the law on this subject, since you'll probably fuck up your own life in addition to alienating your child.

Well, in a way, I think each and every parent has the option to use corporal punishment within reasonable boundaries if needed.

I would never spank my children, but that's because I believe it's extremely inefficient.

However, I will agree that one thing is spanking them or using the belt on them lightly, and another thing is beating them down until you draw blood out of their bodies. One is abuse and the other one isn't.

They both are. Spanking is not necessary, nor should it be acceptable.

The acceptability of a disciplinary form should not be dependent on the age or the size of the person being disciplined.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

They both are. Spanking is not necessary, nor should it be acceptable.

The acceptability of a disciplinary form should not be dependent on the age or the size of the person being disciplined.

I do not think it is necessary; however, I do not find it abusive.

And pretty much is not how you punish the child that matters when you spank them or not, it is the end result. Which is why I don't believe in spankings, because in the end it doesn't teach anything to the child in my opinion.

While the acceptability of a disciplinary form should not be dependent on the age or size of the person being disciplined, you cannot also say your way is better than their way. If you disagree that's fine, I also don't agree with spankings or beltings, but that's a personal objective thing (I never learned jack shit from being spanked, but I never felt abused) but if the kids grow up to be good people then who are we to judge how the parent raised them?

[Ethel mermania]

I'm big on fostering independence. It just seems to go against that.

Don't seem to have that problem with the boys... actually quite the opposite.

sex! sheesh you think the mrs is going to wake you up with a bj with little nevrun in the bed with you.

It's called scheduling... Just put down an extra futon in another room and have everything you need for enjoyable fun time standing by.

I admit though... after last night with BOTH monkeys deciding that they wanted to sing (two different songs) at 10 at night, after I shut off the light, I was giving thoughts to tossing the both of them upstairs.

we are not discussing scheduled sex, we are talking about the unscheduled kind. they are cute when they are little. its remembeing that, that keeps them alive as teens.

[Saint Jade IV]

They both are. Spanking is not necessary, nor should it be acceptable.

The acceptability of a disciplinary form should not be dependent on the age or the size of the person being disciplined.

I do not think it is necessary; however, I do not find it abusive.

What you find abusive and what is abusive are not necessarily the same. Many cultures don't find lopping off their daughters' genitalia to be abusive. That doesn't make it so.

And pretty much is not how you punish the child that matters when you spank them or not, it is the end result. Which is why I don't believe in spankings, because in the end it doesn't teach anything to the child.

Others would argue differently.

While the acceptability of a disciplinary form should not be dependent on the age or size of the person being disciplined, you cannot also say your way is better than their way.

I can. And do. If a disciplinary method has proven to be harmful to a child or adult person, I can definitely say that not using that method is better.

If you disagree that's fine, but if the kids grow up to be good people who are you to judge the parent?

My mother's mother tied her and her brother to a toilet when toilet training them. She beat them frequently with iron cords until they were black and blue.

My mother turned out fine.

That doesn't mean she was a great parent, nor does it mean she should not be judged as an evil, sadistic woman who should never have been allowed within ten feet of a child.

[NERVUN]

Don't seem to have that problem with the boys... actually quite the opposite.


It's called scheduling... Just put down an extra futon in another room and have everything you need for enjoyable fun time standing by.

I admit though... after last night with BOTH monkeys deciding that they wanted to sing (two different songs) at 10 at night, after I shut off the light, I was giving thoughts to tossing the both of them upstairs.

we are not discussing scheduled sex, we are talking about the unscheduled kind. they are cute when they are little. its remembeing that, that keeps them alive as teens.

Unscheduled... yes, is a problem. That said, two small boys... even if they were upstairs, the chances of that happening would be slim, son of none.

[The Joseon Dynasty]

I can. And do. If a disciplinary method has proven to be harmful to a child or adult person, I can definitely say that not using that method is better.

Has it?

[Saint Jade IV]

I can. And do. If a disciplinary method has proven to be harmful to a child or adult person, I can definitely say that not using that method is better.

Has it?

There are a growing number of studies clearly demonstrating that physical discipline has harmful long-term psychological effects.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

I do not think it is necessary; however, I do not find it abusive.

What you find abusive and what is abusive are not necessarily the same. Many cultures don't find lopping off their daughters' genitalia to be abusive. That doesn't make it so.

And pretty much is not how you punish the child that matters when you spank them or not, it is the end result. Which is why I don't believe in spankings, because in the end it doesn't teach anything to the child.

Others would argue differently.

While the acceptability of a disciplinary form should not be dependent on the age or size of the person being disciplined, you cannot also say your way is better than their way.

I can. And do. If a disciplinary method has proven to be harmful to a child or adult person, I can definitely say that not using that method is better.

If you disagree that's fine, but if the kids grow up to be good people who are you to judge the parent?

My mother's mother tied her and her brother to a toilet when toilet training them. She beat them frequently with iron cords until they were black and blue.

My mother turned out fine.

That doesn't mean she was a great parent, nor does it mean she should not be judged as an evil, sadistic woman who should never have been allowed within ten feet of a child.

1 - There are established norms already of what abusive behavior is. I still don't think spanking a child is abuse per se. If you find it disagreeable you go ahead and believe it is so and don't apply to your children, don't spank them for all I care. I would not spank them either, but that is our choice, it isn't for us to force other parents into being successes.

2 - While I agree some methods are abusive towards a person, we are talking about spankings here. I don't think about spankings as a harmful thing, just as extremely inefficient and useless, which is why I believe there are better methods.

3 - I understand, but that isn't what I meant. THAT is clearly abuse from your grandma to your mom. However, spanking a child is not abuse unless you happen to hit them really hard.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Has it?

There are a growing number of studies clearly demonstrating that physical discipline has harmful long-term psychological effects.

Physical discipline is just useless as a method of correction in my opinion. It just makes the kid avoid punishment, which may prone them to lying or other stupid things.

[The Joseon Dynasty]

Has it?

There are a growing number of studies clearly demonstrating that physical discipline has harmful long-term psychological effects.

But Soldati senza confini was making an important distinction, I think. These studies conclude that the umbrella term of "physical discipline" is correlated with later emotional and behavioural problems, which is intuitive, but the much, much more common subset of physical discipline - a light smack on the bum or wrist - is usually not distinguished from the rest. I don't think we can use those studies to conclude anything meaningful about spanking itself.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

There are a growing number of studies clearly demonstrating that physical discipline has harmful long-term psychological effects.

But Soldati senza confini was making an important distinction, I think. These studies conclude that the umbrella term of "physical discipline" is correlated with later emotional and behavioural problems, which is intuitive, but the much, much more common subset of physical discipline - a light smack on the bum or wrist - is usually not distinguished from the rest. I don't think we can use those studies to conclude anything meaningful about spanking itself.

Exactly my point.

There is a difference between a light smack on the bum - even a light use of the belt on the bum - on average and abusing your children by hitting them with power chords or weeping willows and breaking their skin or leaving bruises on them.

A light physical discipline is acceptable in my opinion (although I would never spank my children I still can see light physical discipline), but abuse for me is when you bruise your child. You are not supposed to leave bruises on your child when using physical discipline, then THAT becomes abuse, and it becomes unacceptable.

[Desperate Measures]

I'm big on fostering independence. It just seems to go against that.

Don't seem to have that problem with the boys... actually quite the opposite.

sex! sheesh you think the mrs is going to wake you up with a bj with little nevrun in the bed with you.

It's called scheduling... Just put down an extra futon in another room and have everything you need for enjoyable fun time standing by.

I admit though... after last night with BOTH monkeys deciding that they wanted to sing (two different songs) at 10 at night, after I shut off the light, I was giving thoughts to tossing the both of them upstairs.

I'm just going by instinct with that. I have nothing really to back it up.

[NERVUN]

Don't seem to have that problem with the boys... actually quite the opposite.


It's called scheduling... Just put down an extra futon in another room and have everything you need for enjoyable fun time standing by.

I admit though... after last night with BOTH monkeys deciding that they wanted to sing (two different songs) at 10 at night, after I shut off the light, I was giving thoughts to tossing the both of them upstairs.

I'm just going by instinct with that. I have nothing really to back it up.

While it has started to change, Japanese tradition is for co-sleeping, something I admit I too had reservations about, but... I admit that so far with just my sons, I haven't seen a drop in independance and it did make life easier when my wife was nursing. It's also helped for nightmares and sick kids... if a bit wracking on me.