Child Discipline

[Soldati Senza Confini]

No need to fucking insult my father if you don't agree with it.

You can have your stupid little disagreement about it, but what you said was insulting, period.

No more insulting than this idea that beating little kids is OK. It's not. It is bad parenting.

I never said I agreed with his methods.

But you're basically assuming that just because my dad beat me 3 times he is a bad parent.

He isn't, and you have no right to make such an assertion.

If you want to disagree that's fine, just don't make direct attacks at my dad. I don't criticize your parenting skills, hands off my dad's parenting skills.

[Orcoa]

See to me, when you beat you're kids you give into what they want...they want attention and want to be noticed.

Plus, there is a clear difference between Discipline and Punishment.

If you want to Discipline them, then you should not hit them...but just make them scared of you by not doing anything. It's really easy, all you need is one look and the right tone in your voice....you can scare the fuck out of the little shit no problem

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Actually no, only bad parents would not give a shit about their children being better than they are or putting them through college.

Do you know anything about parenting?!

Yeah, I actually do. And I know that if I ever beat a child I deserve to go to jail.

Okay... do you have any children?! If not, you don't know anything about parenting.

And beating a child three times in his life? I mean, I am sorry but personally I don't see how belting me three times was such a big blasphemy. It was what he did, and I didn't feel like it was abuse.

[Desperate Measures]

Actually no, only bad parents would not give a shit about their children being better than they are or putting them through college.

Do you know anything about parenting?!

Yeah, I actually do. And I know that if I ever beat a child I deserve to go to jail.

The literature behind not spanking kids is just constantly growing. That it was done in the past is no excuse anymore. Unless, it's cool that I plop my kid down in the front seat of the car without a child seat or seatbelt, while I'm smoking a cigarette and letting her play with an asbestos teddy bear.

"Childhood spanking and other forms of harsh physical punishment can increase the chances of developing mental health disorders in adulthood, according to a newly released Pediatrics study conducted at the University of Manitoba.

“It contributes to the growing body of literature that indicates there are harmful consequences to the use of physical punishment,” said the study’s lead author, Tracie Afifi, an assistant professor at the University of Manitoba in the department of community health sciences. The study accounts for many of the confounding factors in past research, she said, like having a history of family dysfunction.

The authors estimate that eliminating childhood physical punishment could reduce the incidence of some mental health disorders in adults by up to 7 per cent."
http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2012/07 ... _says.html

[Torcularis Septentrionalis]

Yeah, I actually do. And I know that if I ever beat a child I deserve to go to jail.

We should probablty make a distinction between "beating" and actual corporal discipline.

Beating is unstructured and indiscriminate, the latter is used merely as a last resort physical deterrent.

We are talking specifically about beating at the moment.
But if I ever lay a hand on my child, I don't deserve to be a parent.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

We should probablty make a distinction between "beating" and actual corporal discipline.

Beating is unstructured and indiscriminate, the latter is used merely as a last resort physical deterrent.

We are talking specifically about beating at the moment.
But if I ever lay a hand on my child, I don't deserve to be a parent.

I can take spanking, even belting. My dad did use the belt on me (on my buttocks) and spanking, but he never abused of me.

Now anything outside those two, yea, I will have to agree with you that it isn't cool and me and my wife would have issues about it if she did that.

[Torcularis Septentrionalis]

Yeah, I actually do. And I know that if I ever beat a child I deserve to go to jail.

Okay... do you have any children?! If not, you don't know anything about parenting.

And beating a child three times in his life? I mean, I am sorry but personally I don't see how belting me three times was such a big blasphemy. It was what he did, and I didn't feel like it was abuse.

I'm an early childhood educator - I know a hell of a lot about parenting.

[Torcularis Septentrionalis]

We are talking specifically about beating at the moment.
But if I ever lay a hand on my child, I don't deserve to be a parent.

I can take spanking, even belting. My dad did use the belt on me (on my buttocks) and spanking, but he never abused of me.

Now anything outside those two, yea, I will have to agree with you that it isn't cool and me and my wife would have issues about it if she did that.

A parent causing pain to a child in any form is abuse.

[Desperate Measures]

No more insulting than this idea that beating little kids is OK. It's not. It is bad parenting.

I never said I agreed with his methods.

But you're basically assuming that just because my dad beat me 3 times he is a bad parent.

He isn't, and you have no right to make such an assertion.

If you want to disagree that's fine, just don't make direct attacks at my dad. I don't criticize your parenting skills, hands off my dad's parenting skills.

It is literally the only thing I know about your dad. It's not my intention to attack you. I'm sure if I wrote down the worst things I've ever done in relation to my kid without mentioning the good things, you'd call me a bad father too. I'm not going to say another word about your father.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Okay... do you have any children?! If not, you don't know anything about parenting.

And beating a child three times in his life? I mean, I am sorry but personally I don't see how belting me three times was such a big blasphemy. It was what he did, and I didn't feel like it was abuse.

I'm an early childhood educator - I know a hell of a lot about parenting.

Early childhood educator =/= being a parent.

[Desperate Measures]

I'm an early childhood educator - I know a hell of a lot about parenting.

Early childhood educator =/= being a parent.

She seems to be pretty knowledgeable to me. It's honestly not rocket science.

[Torcularis Septentrionalis]

I'm an early childhood educator - I know a hell of a lot about parenting.

Early childhood educator =/= being a parent.

Working with children for 8 hours a day, plus going through training to learn how to take care of children and how to understand the child's mind, plus dealing with the parents on a pretty intimate level,
PLUS the fact that I was the only person able in my family to care for my niece when she was younger....
I'm sure I know nothing about parenting.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Early childhood educator =/= being a parent.

She seems to be pretty knowledgeable to me. It's honestly not rocket science.

It's not, but then again every parent wants different outcomes for their children, therefore it depends ultimately on what kind of person does the parent want the child to become. In that sense it can be quite difficult to remain static since a person's ideas change over time over what a good person is.

[Greenvul]

Beating, no.

Spanking/whipping, sure.

I was spanked as a child, and I abhor breaking rules. So, yeah I agree with it depending on how harsh it is. I mean, take a breather for a few seconds. Punish the child, because they deserve it, not because you're mad.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Early childhood educator =/= being a parent.

Working with children for 8 hours a day, plus going through training to learn how to take care of children and how to understand the child's mind, plus dealing with the parents on a pretty intimate level,
PLUS the fact that I was the only person able in my family to care for my niece when she was younger....
I'm sure I know nothing about parenting.

I can see the "taking care of your niece" part, but not the early childhood educator part.

I also wanted to be a teacher at some point in time because I love children, but just because I dealt with children at some point that doesn't make me smug enough to think I will be a knowledgeable parent about my children, since they will be unique in my view of them and they will develop differently because of the household they will live in.

One thing I have never said is that I have the ultimate answer about parenting if you have noticed. It is because parenting for me is an uncharted map basically. I will try to do the best for my children, but that's all I can do. Will I be wrong? Yes, of course I'll miss the mark, but I am not going to be so boastful as to say I know about parenting, because relatively I don't know shit since I have never been a parent.

[Tlaceceyaya]

Beating, no.

Spanking/whipping, sure.

I was spanked as a child, and I abhor breaking rules. So, yeah I agree with it depending on how harsh it is. I mean, take a breather for a few seconds. Punish the child, because they deserve it, not because you're mad.

Whipping?
Fuck, no.
That's fucking torture.

[South east asia unification]

ummmm i have been raised by a strict asian family which means i got spanked a lot with a bamboo stick or a fly swopper when i was little but i actually agree that beating your child with a stick may be a good thing maybe you shouldent do it every time your child get in trouble but if they keep on doing the same mistake over and over again and it seems no matter how many times you tell them they tend to not listen to you or they just say sorry and forget the lesson the next day later . thats when you should beat them maybe not a lot like spank them orver 20 or so but more like 5 make srue they know that they done something wrong and after your done punishing them you should first make them say sorry and promise never or try to not do it again then you should give them a lecture or tell them whay you are doing this and that you love them thats how my family punich me and i shall do the same to my children

[NERVUN]

Early childhood educator =/= being a parent.

Working with children for 8 hours a day, plus going through training to learn how to take care of children and how to understand the child's mind, plus dealing with the parents on a pretty intimate level,
PLUS the fact that I was the only person able in my family to care for my niece when she was younger....
I'm sure I know nothing about parenting.

As an aside, there IS a difference between parenting and teaching.

I love my students, I laugh with them, I cry with them, I want them to succeed, I see them almost every day three years and am in close contact at least once a week. I do my level best to teach them and guide them, hopefully more than just English.

But... it will be for three years. And as much as I love them and try to be dedicated to them, it's different with my sons. They will be my sons until the day I die and my dedication and love to them is far greater than that for my students. That doesn't make me a bad teacher, it just means I'm a father.

It also means though that I see my sons with rose colored glasses and NEED teachers to sometimes remind me that not everything is centered on those two boys.

[Desperate Measures]

Working with children for 8 hours a day, plus going through training to learn how to take care of children and how to understand the child's mind, plus dealing with the parents on a pretty intimate level,
PLUS the fact that I was the only person able in my family to care for my niece when she was younger....
I'm sure I know nothing about parenting.

I can see the "taking care of your niece" part, but not the early childhood educator part.

I also wanted to be a teacher at some point in time because I love children, but just because I dealt with children at some point that doesn't make me smug enough to think I will be a knowledgeable parent about my children, since they will be unique in my view of them and they will develop differently because of the household they will live in.

One thing I have never said is that I have the ultimate answer about parenting if you have noticed. It is because parenting for me is an uncharted map basically. I will try to do the best for my children, but that's all I can do. Will I be wrong? Yes, of course I'll miss the mark, but I am not going to be so boastful as to say I know about parenting, because relatively I don't know shit since I have never been a parent.

"Love your kid and don't be the one that hurts them intentionally" was the best advice I ever received. Everyone parents differently and there is no one answer. But that doesn't mean that there aren't guidelines about what is best for kids. For instance, I once saw a mother feeding her 11 month old a plate of french fries. Just no. No no no. Not baby food.

[Desperate Measures]

ummmm i have been raised by a strict asian family which means i got spanked a lot with a bamboo stick or a fly swopper when i was little but i actually agree that beating your child with a stick may be a good thing maybe you shouldent do it every time your child get in trouble but if they keep on doing the same mistake over and over again and it seems no matter how many times you tell them they tend to not listen to you or they just say sorry and forget the lesson the next day later . thats when you should beat them maybe not a lot like spank them orver 20 or so but more like 5 make srue they know that they done something wrong and after your done punishing them you should first make them say sorry and promise never or try to not do it again then you should give them a lecture or tell them whay you are doing this and that you love them thats how my family punich me and i shall do the same to my children

I kind of want to spank you until you learn what a period is.

[Zweite Alaje]

We should probablty make a distinction between "beating" and actual corporal discipline.

Beating is unstructured and indiscriminate, the latter is used merely as a last resort physical deterrent.

We are talking specifically about beating at the moment.
But if I ever lay a hand on my child, I don't deserve to be a parent.

Ok, just making sure.

That is at the parents perogative to use or not to use physicial punishment. If you feel it is against your personal honor, you shouldn't do it. For me I'd have not problems with it.

[NERVUN]

ummmm i have been raised by a strict asian family which means i got spanked a lot with a bamboo stick or a fly swopper when i was little but i actually agree that beating your child with a stick may be a good thing maybe you shouldent do it every time your child get in trouble but if they keep on doing the same mistake over and over again and it seems no matter how many times you tell them they tend to not listen to you or they just say sorry and forget the lesson the next day later . thats when you should beat them maybe not a lot like spank them orver 20 or so but more like 5 make srue they know that they done something wrong and after your done punishing them you should first make them say sorry and promise never or try to not do it again then you should give them a lecture or tell them whay you are doing this and that you love them thats how my family punich me and i shall do the same to my children

I kind of want to spank you until you learn what a period is.

NSG, where the Grammar Nazis get kinky.

[Desperate Measures]

I kind of want to spank you until you learn what a period is.

NSG, where the Grammar Nazis get kinky.

Now, see - this conversation becomes so different when it comes to adult spanking.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

I can see the "taking care of your niece" part, but not the early childhood educator part.

I also wanted to be a teacher at some point in time because I love children, but just because I dealt with children at some point that doesn't make me smug enough to think I will be a knowledgeable parent about my children, since they will be unique in my view of them and they will develop differently because of the household they will live in.

One thing I have never said is that I have the ultimate answer about parenting if you have noticed. It is because parenting for me is an uncharted map basically. I will try to do the best for my children, but that's all I can do. Will I be wrong? Yes, of course I'll miss the mark, but I am not going to be so boastful as to say I know about parenting, because relatively I don't know shit since I have never been a parent.

"Love your kid and don't be the one that hurts them intentionally" was the best advice I ever received. Everyone parents differently and there is no one answer. But that doesn't mean that there aren't guidelines about what is best for kids. For instance, I once saw a mother feeding her 11 month old a plate of french fries. Just no. No no no. Not baby food.

Yes, I can agree french fries was DEFINITELY a bad idea there. Not baby food indeed.

However, in terms of discipline and how you want to raise your kids, it all depends on who you want them to be. And I think loving your children and not harming them or putting them in harm's way is essential. I can tell you that I would, without a doubt, take a bullet for one of my sons if need be. I want to be a good parent and have good children. However, I can't say I know how to raise a child because I have never been a parent myself and I don't plan to until I become financially stable enough to provide for them.

[Ironrite]

Working with children for 8 hours a day, plus going through training to learn how to take care of children and how to understand the child's mind, plus dealing with the parents on a pretty intimate level,
PLUS the fact that I was the only person able in my family to care for my niece when she was younger....
I'm sure I know nothing about parenting.

As an aside, there IS a difference between parenting and teaching.

I love my students, I laugh with them, I cry with them, I want them to succeed, I see them almost every day three years and am in close contact at least once a week. I do my level best to teach them and guide them, hopefully more than just English.

But... it will be for three years. And as much as I love them and try to be dedicated to them, it's different with my sons. They will be my sons until the day I die and my dedication and love to them is far greater than that for my students. That doesn't make me a bad teacher, it just means I'm a father.

It also means though that I see my sons with rose colored glasses and NEED teachers to sometimes remind me that not everything is centered on those two boys.

THAT. WAS. BEAUTIFUL.