Child Discipline

[Zweite Alaje]

They can think without being a smart-mouthed brat.

My parents allowed me to question things, but they taught me when it was appropriate to question.

The problem is that many parents believe that little to nothing they say is worth questioning and should be accepted as absolute.

Then that parent is just an asshole.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

And who says you are a reasonable authority?

And what makes you think I wouldn't be? Just because I think authoritarianism is necessary sometimes doesn't mean I think on teaching them how to pick on others or how to steal and be bank robbers.

A reasonable authority, in my opinion, is an authority who doesn't compromise good and reasonable morals and who doesn't teach their children bad things.

[NERVUN]

Purposeful infliction of pain upon a child is always violence.

Well, I hope you can have a reasonable discussion with your children why it's not ok to spit in mommy's face.

Everybody knows discussions with a 3 year old always work out.

I have talks with my two-year-old.

True, we can't get into the concept of human rights, body integrity, and germ factors, but pointing out that Mommy is sad and Daddy is angry... a two-year-old can get that.

[Threlizdun]

Purposeful infliction of pain upon a child is always violence.

Well, I hope you can have a reasonable discussion with your children why it's not ok to spit in mommy's face.

Everybody knows discussions with a 3 year old always work out.

You really believe that we should resort to emotionally-scarring violence before education, and against children of all people?

[Vazdania]

Well, I hope you can have a reasonable discussion with your children why it's not ok to spit in mommy's face.

Everybody knows discussions with a 3 year old always work out.

I have talks with my two-year-old.

True, we can't get into the concept of human rights, body integrity, and germ factors, but pointing out that Mommy is sad and Daddy is angry... a two-year-old can get that.

I bet you can wiggle germ factor in there somewhere.

[Flaxxony-Setram]

Punishments are best when

1) paired with reinforcement for good behavior
2) consistent
3) appropriately harsh
4) objective

Little toddlers won't understand why throwing meatballs in other's hair is bad by rationalizing. A spanking will do. I think that spanking or even the occasional belt is a crime against humanity. But remember the 4 above. Also physical punishment doesn't really work after Piaget's last stage. They just hate you.

spankings are inappropriate. A mere "That's bad" in a harsh tone will (likely) do.

Well that's only if they care about what you say. And plus a reasonable amount of physical pain actually bypasses conscious areas of the brain, and good behavior becomes a reflex almost. Classical conditioning.

[Kota land]

The most effective punishment I ever received was expressed with words not hands...

[Soldati Senza Confini]

SOMETIMES! One thing is questioning unreasonable orders and pointing them out, but another different thing is questioning for the hell of it, which is what I meant by "questioning".

Surely, as a teacher you wouldn't have your students question your authority as a teacher just for the hell of it now would you?

Kids question, 'tis the nature of kids.

I agree, I was a questioning kid, and my parents still can't deal with me sometimes

However, I learned questioning is not the same as an open challenge, and children tend to do that sometimes.

[Torcularis Septentrionalis]

Punishments are best when

1) paired with reinforcement for good behavior
2) consistent
3) appropriately harsh
4) objective

Little toddlers won't understand why throwing meatballs in other's hair is bad by rationalizing. A spanking will do. I think that spanking or even the occasional belt is a crime against humanity. But remember the 4 above. Also physical punishment doesn't really work after Piaget's last stage. They just hate you.

Showing disapproval works with many toddlers. A toddler is not old enough to understand why they are being spanked, they just know that mommy/daddy made them hurt. They are capable of understanding that, when they threw a meatball, mommy said no and didn't look happy with them.

[Threlizdun]

The problem is that many parents believe that little to nothing they say is worth questioning and should be accepted as absolute.

Then that parent is just an asshole.

Almost every parent believes they have the best interests of their children in mind. They certainly feel as though they know about the matter more than the children themselves. We don't necessarily always know if we are correct on certain issues though, and I have met many children who made absolutely brilliant observations before.

[Samuraikoku]

I'm not thrilled with listening to non-stop talk about Thomas the Tank Engine, but I also know that if I want my sons to talk to me later on, I better listen NOW.

No Anime speak, in Japan?

[NERVUN]

I have talks with my two-year-old.

True, we can't get into the concept of human rights, body integrity, and germ factors, but pointing out that Mommy is sad and Daddy is angry... a two-year-old can get that.

I bet you can wiggle germ factor in there somewhere.

I'd rather not... his other brother already taught him the concept of scary... so now he claims everything he doesn't like is scary.

[Torcularis Septentrionalis]

And who says you are a reasonable authority?

And what makes you think I wouldn't be? Just because I think authoritarianism is necessary sometimes doesn't mean I think on teaching them how to pick on others or how to steal and be bank robbers.

A reasonable authority, in my opinion, is an authority who doesn't compromise good and reasonable morals and who doesn't teach their children bad things.

You can be unreasonably pushing for good things, btw.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Then that parent is just an asshole.

Almost every parent believes they have the best interests of their children in mind. They certainly feel as though they know about the matter more than the children themselves. We don't necessarily always know if we are correct on certain issues though, and I have met many children who made absolutely brilliant observations before.

Indeed, there's also the kids who openly challenge parents, which isn't cool either.

An observation from your child is valuable, an open challenge is not.

[NERVUN]

Kids question, 'tis the nature of kids.

I agree, I was a questioning kid, and my parents still can't deal with me sometimes

However, I learned questioning is not the same as an open challenge, and children tend to do that sometimes.

Children do that, that is the nature of children as well. They will ALWAYS test the boundaries, sometimes just to make sure they are there.

[Anachronous Rex]

I bet you can wiggle germ factor in there somewhere.

I'd rather not... his other brother already taught him the concept of scary... so now he claims everything he doesn't like is scary.

Try using these:

[Torcularis Septentrionalis]

Almost every parent believes they have the best interests of their children in mind. They certainly feel as though they know about the matter more than the children themselves. We don't necessarily always know if we are correct on certain issues though, and I have met many children who made absolutely brilliant observations before.

Indeed, there's also the kids who openly challenge parents, which isn't cool either.

An observation from your child is valuable, an open challenge is not.

I will be proud when my child openly challenges me.

[Flaxxony-Setram]

Punishments are best when

1) paired with reinforcement for good behavior
2) consistent
3) appropriately harsh
4) objective

Little toddlers won't understand why throwing meatballs in other's hair is bad by rationalizing. A spanking will do. I think that spanking or even the occasional belt is a crime against humanity. But remember the 4 above. Also physical punishment doesn't really work after Piaget's last stage. They just hate you.

Showing disapproval works with many toddlers. A toddler is not old enough to understand why they are being spanked, they just know that mommy/daddy made them hurt. They are capable of understanding that, when they threw a meatball, mommy said no and didn't look happy with them.

Bad example. Toddlers hate displeasing parents. But it works better in the years from around 4th-9th grade. Looking back, son of a single mom who was too small to discipline, ugh. Bad. I will make sure that my kids (especially boys) know dad is still way stronger than them and can enforce the rules when they are rambunctious hormonal retards like I was.

[Torcularis Septentrionalis]

I'd rather not... his other brother already taught him the concept of scary... so now he claims everything he doesn't like is scary.

Try using these:

Ahhhhh I want ecoli!

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Children do that, that is the nature of children as well. They will ALWAYS test the boundaries, sometimes just to make sure they are there.

I understand, which is why I don't think being authoritarian and putting them a step back is necessarily a bad thing. You can always explain later why you made the decision, but sometimes you have to make decisions on the fly. My dad knows, he has had to deal with 6 teenagers.

[Anachronous Rex]

Try using these:

(Image)

Ahhhhh I want ecoli!

Last Christmas, my sister gave me Ebola and Plague.

It was fantastic.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

I will be proud when my child openly challenges me.

I will be rather upset at first and push them back in line (not by hitting them though, just by raising my tone of voice), but then I would laugh about it and explain it to them.

[New haven america]

I'd rather not... his other brother already taught him the concept of scary... so now he claims everything he doesn't like is scary.

Try using these:

I love those toys

[NERVUN]

I'm not thrilled with listening to non-stop talk about Thomas the Tank Engine, but I also know that if I want my sons to talk to me later on, I better listen NOW.

No Anime speak, in Japan?

*Groans and mumbles something about GoBusters and sentai will be the death of him yet*

That and... well, my sons are Japanese boys. There is not a Japanese male alive who at one point in time or another didn't have a passionate love affair with trains, some of them never grow out of it and Thomas is perfect when you're young.

Thus why at age 34 and with an MA I can name a horde of engines and sing that damn Engine Roll Call song and ID them by their whistles because if I couldn't, I would be quickly schooled by a toddler. There is NOTHING like a little boy to note every single fricken detail for something he loves and memorize it!

[Threlizdun]

I will be proud when my child openly challenges me.

I will be rather upset at first and push them back in line (not by hitting them though, just by raising my tone of voice), but then I would laugh about it and explain it to them.

So I take it you're infallible and your children must remain subservient to you throughout their life.