Child Discipline

[Parhe]

Yes. There have been times when if I were in the child's position I would have prefered it. For instance in the Qing Dynasty of China as well as others children of very improvished familes would be sold to greater lords or nobles because if the family kept them the child would have starved while if the child was sold the child would, statistically, live much much better off than otherwise and also the family would have gotten some money to feed themselves.

So yes, although i think it is bad, there are times where I would understand the person's position.

Yeah, and they exposed deformed children and girls to the elements to die (a practice that continues, though more covertly).

I think we can do better.

We shouldn't judge all of a culture's or an individual family's choices by others occasional practices of the culture. Practices that specific family do not even follow. Point is either you keep the girl and wait for the girl, and possibly the whole of your family, starve to death, or you sell the child as a servant, the guy I was responding to never said it was for sexual purposes, in which the child will grow and possibly even have a family of her own in the future, as servants of both genders could marry and pay off to leave, and the parents and rest of the family has some more money to go on a few more days or more. I am sure there in the whole world has many different choices but sometimes when the family is short on time and options they must pick.

[Genivaria]

If it's not acceptable for a teacher to hit a child, I don't see why a parent should be given the right.

Actually, some schools still allow corporal punishment.

My highschool required the parents to give the school permission to spank the kids.
I personally thought that was rather redundant seeing as how if a parent approved of corporal punishment they'd do it themselves.

[Torisakia]

Child Disipline? Psh. That's bootleg.

[Saint Jade IV]

Actually, some schools still allow corporal punishment.

Oh, I see. Well, they're not allowed to do it over here.

In the majority of religions where the practice of forcible marriage takes place, either money, other forms of currency, or privileges are extended in exchange for the girl child.

I know of no culture where underage girls are forcibly married with no benefit to their family.

So you think that a human should be able to sell another human?

No I don't. Where on earth did I say that?

Although other posters do think so.

[Desperate Measures]

Parents that lay a hand on their kids should be arrested for assault.

[SaintB]

Not so sure about this. Sometimes I see children that make me feel sorry for the parents. Some parents seem to take abuse from their kids sometimes. A couple personal observations. And yes these are both extreme situations.

1) Mother takes a child into my local Bi-Lo just last week. Her child wants some cereal. Forget what kind, I think it was lucky charms. She tells the child no. That she bought them last time. He never touched them but once, went stale and they had to throw it out. This kid goes full out whine mode. When she tries to calm her down from making a large scene in a very public place he smacks her, knocks the cereal off the shelf and and just screams. A few moments later his mother is in tears, has no idea what to do and just cries. We had staff attempt to calm the child down which took a very long 5 minutes. Oh, and he got the lucky charms and walked out with a grin.

2) A father was at the DMV when I was waitin to take my driver's test. A child's battery died to his gameboy and demanded that his father take him to go get replacement batteries. When daddy says no that he needed to stay with him at the DMV child throws a fit. Cusses his fatherat around 10 years old. Cusses his father at 10 in public. An then his father tries to negotiate with him to improve his behavior.

When I was growing up I would not have dared tried this with my parents. Why? Because I would have got a belt. Yeah, I thought it was abuse when I was 10 but by the time I was 15 I was mature enough to understand the reasoning of how I acted and what happned. I was rewarded when I done well, and punished when I deserved it.

Because there is only anarchy or the belt. The only two possible options on the child discipline scale.

Maybe we could pray the evil out of them.

But supervising them and explaining right and wrong is just too much work.

[Torcularis Septentrionalis]

Parents that lay a hand on their kids should be arrested for assault.

Agreed. There is nothing a child can do that would justify hurting them. My little brother suffers from Oppositional Defiance Disorder and he's done some hellish things, and, to be perfectly honest, when I would babysit him I would sometimes spank/slap him... but having been a teacher for two years now and working with children on all ends of the spectrum, including those who have the same disorder as my brother has, I've learned that hitting children is not the answer. Every child has their own needs in discipline, but they can all be disciplined without being caused pain. I feel so bad about the pain I inflicted on my own little brother, but I promise that I will never do it again. Not to him, not to my own kids, not to anyone.

[Torisakia]

Parents that lay a hand on their kids should be arrested for assault.

and pedophilia.

[Thanatttynia]

Oh, I see. Well, they're not allowed to do it over here.




So you think that a human should be able to sell another human?

No I don't. Where on earth did I say that?

Although other posters do think so.

Sorry, I was confusing you with a different poster.
So do you think a father should be able to exchange his daughter for goods?

[Galloism]

No I don't. Where on earth did I say that?

Although other posters do think so.

Sorry, I was confusing you with a different poster.
So do you think a father should be able to exchange his daughter for goods?

Is a playstation 4 involved?

That could tip the scales.

[NERVUN]

Why haven't I got over it, after 20 years of independence?
Because so many other people continue to hold some kind of almost-religious reverence for the idea of "parenthood" without ever actually paying attention to the detail.

I am so fucking sick of hearing shit like "honour thy mother and father". If my mother and father don't honour me, why the fuck should I reciprocate?

I don't think you can get over it. you can learn to deal with it. you can refuse to treat your own children that way. but it will always affect you.

people who think that you should always forgive your parents, honor them, let them stay in your life, didn't have bad parents. they have no idea how damaging it is.

That said, there's something to the truth that if you never attempt to repair the breach, you can find out that it was too late.

My father was, as far as I can remember, a good man and a loving father, but I don't know for sure and never will.

[NERVUN]

No. If they are grounded they understand why rules are, and why it is wrong to disobey. Bout 50% of the rules in our society are utter fallacy and they are only there because they are mindlessly enforced.The other half are necessary. If your kid plays with the power socket, spanking them is not agood way to deal with the situation. If the kid is a toddler just carry them away, this works with animals as well everytime they approach an off limits area, ground them and carry them away,it doesn1t matter that a two years old will not understand your arguments they can read from your tone(not yelling just a strict voice),if they get carred away they'll understand its A forbidden B meaningless to try.If they are older just explain that sockets are not toys beacause you'll get shocked and it hurts like hell, and you'll end up in hospital which is a terrible place.

Any sort of severe punishmnet just makes the following connection:
Those with the power decide what is good and what is not.They need not consider the needs or feelings of anyone else, and only those with power can decide what to do. Therefore I shall one day obtain and exercise power over others and only then I can be free.
Seriously everybody who were regularly abused,and did not grow up to be adults like this are wonderful persons.
And yes all physical punishment, except for the lightest smack(just to raise attention) in a truly, truly emergency situation, is abuse.

Not so sure about this. Sometimes I see children that make me feel sorry for the parents. Some parents seem to take abuse from their kids sometimes. A couple personal observations. And yes these are both extreme situations.

1) Mother takes a child into my local Bi-Lo just last week. Her child wants some cereal. Forget what kind, I think it was lucky charms. She tells the child no. That she bought them last time. He never touched them but once, went stale and they had to throw it out. This kid goes full out whine mode. When she tries to calm her down from making a large scene in a very public place he smacks her, knocks the cereal off the shelf and and just screams. A few moments later his mother is in tears, has no idea what to do and just cries. We had staff attempt to calm the child down which took a very long 5 minutes. Oh, and he got the lucky charms and walked out with a grin.

2) A father was at the DMV when I was waitin to take my driver's test. A child's battery died to his gameboy and demanded that his father take him to go get replacement batteries. When daddy says no that he needed to stay with him at the DMV child throws a fit. Cusses his fatherat around 10 years old. Cusses his father at 10 in public. An then his father tries to negotiate with him to improve his behavior.

When I was growing up I would not have dared tried this with my parents. Why? Because I would have got a belt. Yeah, I thought it was abuse when I was 10 but by the time I was 15 I was mature enough to understand the reasoning of how I acted and what happned. I was rewarded when I done well, and punished when I deserved it.

And? Yesterday apparently my youngest pitched a fit because someone else got James instead of him at the play plaza and demanded that my wife take him to another store.

She ignored him. And I backed her up on it. We don't need to hit him, just remove him (Which is what happened, she brought him home and put him to bed). Both of my sons have learned that if you go into melt down, you WILL be taken away. I don't care what we're in the middle of.

[Zweite Alaje]

Parents that lay a hand on their kids should be arrested for assault.

That is the most ridiculous thing I've seen in this thread yet! If a kid need discipline and using the belt works, use it!

[Imsogone]

Parents that lay a hand on their kids should be arrested for assault.

That is the most ridiculous thing I've seen in this thread yet! If a kid need discipline and using the belt works, use it!

If you're using the belt to get your point across, you've failed.

[Salandriagado]

Parents that lay a hand on their kids should be arrested for assault.

That is the most ridiculous thing I've seen in this thread yet! If a kid need discipline and using the belt works, use it!

It doesn't work. It does imprint a message, but that message is "it's OK to hit people if you're bigger and older than them".

[Zweite Alaje]

That is the most ridiculous thing I've seen in this thread yet! If a kid need discipline and using the belt works, use it!

If you're using the belt to get your point across, you've failed.

No, the child had failed to obey. The parents job is to teach, the child's is to learn. If the child refuses to adhere to the directive of the parents, they must be punished.

[Totalise]

sometimes a kid who's misbehaving needs a good smack on the butt. i was spanked as a child and all but twice did i desirve it

[Zweite Alaje]

That is the most ridiculous thing I've seen in this thread yet! If a kid need discipline and using the belt works, use it!

It doesn't work. It does imprint a message, but that message is "it's OK to hit people if you're bigger and older than them".

Wrong.

The child is an inferior to the parents, it is their place to obey the more knowledgeable and more intelligent parents.

[Imsogone]

If you're using the belt to get your point across, you've failed.

No, the child had failed to obey. The parents job is to teach, the child's is to learn. If the child refuses to adhere to the directive of the parents, they must be punished.

I repeat, if you've gotten to the point where you need to hit the kid to get your point across, you've failed as a parent. You're older, more experience and, presumably, wiser than the child. You have the responsibility to teach the child effectiviely. If you have to hit the child to teach him/her, you are ineffective and, arguably, unwise.

[Frisivisia]

It doesn't work. It does imprint a message, but that message is "it's OK to hit people if you're bigger and older than them".

Wrong.

The child is an inferior to the parents, it is their place to obey the more knowledgeable and more intelligent parents.

Does that mean that those with college educations can order those without around because they're more knowledgeable and intelligent?

[Salandriagado]

It doesn't work. It does imprint a message, but that message is "it's OK to hit people if you're bigger and older than them".

Wrong.

The child is an inferior to the parents, it is their place to obey the more knowledgeable and more intelligent parents.

Nope. I work with a lot of children, and I can tell you right now that some of them are a lot better than me at some things, and there are plenty of things I'll prefer their decision making to my own on, under most circumstances. The other message it manages to enforce is "you only need to do what they tell you if they are big enough to beat you up".

[Frisivisia]

sometimes a kid who's misbehaving needs a good smack on the butt. i was spanked as a child and all but twice did i desirve it

Did your parents smack you because of your poor spelling? It doesn't seem to have worked.

[Zweite Alaje]

No, the child had failed to obey. The parents job is to teach, the child's is to learn. If the child refuses to adhere to the directive of the parents, they must be punished.

I repeat, if you've gotten to the point where you need to hit the kid to get your point across, you've failed as a parent. You're older, more experience and, presumably, wiser than the child. You have the responsibility to teach the child effectiviely. If you have to hit the child to teach him/her, you are ineffective and, arguably, unwise.

It is never unwise to utilize all the options at ones disposal, if all else fails use force.

Sure it should probably not be the first thing a parent resorts to, but for repeat offenses, it maybe necessary.

[Distruzio]

If you're using the belt to get your point across, you've failed.

No, the child had failed to obey. The parents job is to teach, the child's is to learn. If the child refuses to adhere to the directive of the parents, they must be punished.

mmmm.... Not necessarily. As I pointed out earlier in the thread, I never punish my son. I offer him consequences. If he doesn't do something I ask of him, then I won't do something he asks of me.

For instance: He has a very difficult time remembering to open the door to the car while being mindful of other cars nearby (he can't bare to not have a toy with him or actually wear his bookbag). Therefore, the car remains locked until I open the door for him. He isn't allowed to touch the door without me there. I don't carry anything for him. He doesn't get to carry anything into the car either - it all goes in the trunk.

He does NOT like this at all. He wants his toys. He doesn't like to wear his bookbag but finds it awkward to hold it in his hands when it's full.

He is made uncomfortable and unhappy because he cannot obey. The result? He now points out parking spots with a space clear next to them, so that he can open the door without worry. When a car is parked on his side, he stops to estimate how much space is between the cars.

He is 5.

[Mavorpen]

I repeat, if you've gotten to the point where you need to hit the kid to get your point across, you've failed as a parent. You're older, more experience and, presumably, wiser than the child. You have the responsibility to teach the child effectiviely. If you have to hit the child to teach him/her, you are ineffective and, arguably, unwise.

It is never unwise to utilize all the options at ones disposal, if all else fails use force.

Sure it should probably not be the first thing a parent resorts to, but for repeat offenses, it maybe necessary.

Wrong. Completely and utterly wrong. If the offense is repeated, you've quite literally fucked up. And using violence when you're too much of a lazy ass to be consistent will only make the problem worse.