Child Discipline

[The Biased Conservatives]

NationStates sometimes you have to beat children good. I imagine that if I had any children who didn't now resent me or filed abuse charges on me multiple times they would agree. Some kids just aren't good and the only way to purify them is to either baptize them again or beat the child with the rod because the bible says the rod provides wisdom and even if you beat them they won't bleed so why not?

[NERVUN]

... Are you telling us to beat you with a rod?

Well it's saying to punish children because you love them, those who only spare the rod "hate" their children. Also none of you are my parents to my knowledge so don't touch me, I'm fragile.

But punishment by and large does not have to be physical to actually discipline them.

[NERVUN]

Well it's saying to punish children because you love them, those who only spare the rod "hate" their children. Also none of you are my parents to my knowledge so don't touch me, I'm fragile.

I agree with the old saying completely, sometimes talking doesn't do the job. I'd probably talk to the kid once about a specific incident, but on a repeat offense it's belt time.

Because using a whip is a good thing?

No, no thank you.

[Zweite Alaje]

I agree with the old saying completely, sometimes talking doesn't do the job. I'd probably talk to the kid once about a specific incident, but on a repeat offense it's belt time.

Because using a whip is a good thing?

No, no thank you.

If they repeat an offense they obviously didn't get the message the first time, extreme measures must be taken.

[NERVUN]

Because using a whip is a good thing?

No, no thank you.

If they repeat an offense they obviously didn't get the message the first time, extreme measures must be taken.

Learning doesn't work that way.

Especially with young children.

[Zweite Alaje]

If they repeat an offense they obviously didn't get the message the first time, extreme measures must be taken.

Learning doesn't work that way.

Especially with young children.

Worked for me. Give them a good strike, and they won't wanna do it anymore.

[Saint Jade IV]

Plain and simple conveys a rather different meaning.

Furthermore, you shouldn't need to hit your child in order to make it behave. You definitely shouldn't need to hit it with a rod.

Well the rod isn't literal nowadays lol maybe in some communities. But yes you don't need to hit the child, but I think just talking things out doesn't always get a point across. Like when a kid touches a hot stove after you told them not to, the punishment is the pain so they'll know not to do it again.

Because there are absolutely no alternatives to talking it out or belting them when it comes to discipline.

[NERVUN]

Learning doesn't work that way.

Especially with young children.

Worked for me. Give them a good strike, and they won't wanna do it anymore.

No, they don't want to get hit anymore, there's a difference. And if you're attempting to teach a child, that's not the lesson one should impart.

[The Emerald Dawn]

Worked for me. Give them a good strike, and they won't wanna do it anymore.

No, they don't want to get hit anymore, there's a difference. And if you're attempting to teach a child, that's not the lesson one should impart.

You should teach them they *do* want to get hit?

[NERVUN]

No, they don't want to get hit anymore, there's a difference. And if you're attempting to teach a child, that's not the lesson one should impart.

You should teach them they *do* want to get hit?

If they do, that's their choice, when they're old enough, and I really don't wanna know about it.

Here's the issue though, pain is indeed a good teacher, but it also shuts down everything.

To go back to my example with my son, sure, I could have smacked him for punching his mother. The lesson I'm trying to teach is not to hit after all (We'll ignore the contradiction there), but...

What if later on I want my son to develop a good sense of when it IS ok to hit? I mean, in defense of self and others? If I smacked him now, it's going to be harder to address this with him later, not to mention the lesson I really am teaching isn't that it's not ok to hit, but that it's only ok to hit if you happen to have the power. I also taught him that Daddy = pain and fear, making him mistrust me, which is something I really don't want.

I'm fairly sure your reply was meant flippantly, but a good teacher never turns down a good opening to make a point.

[The Emerald Dawn]

You should teach them they *do* want to get hit?

If they do, that's their choice, when they're old enough, and I really don't wanna know about it.

Here's the issue though, pain is indeed a good teacher, but it also shuts down everything.

To go back to my example with my son, sure, I could have smacked him for punching his mother. The lesson I'm trying to teach is not to hit after all (We'll ignore the contradiction there), but...

What if later on I want my son to develop a good sense of when it IS ok to hit? I mean, in defense of self and others? If I smacked him now, it's going to be harder to address this with him later, not to mention the lesson I really am teaching isn't that it's not ok to hit, but that it's only ok to hit if you happen to have the power. I also taught him that Daddy = pain and fear, making him mistrust me, which is something I really don't want.

I'm fairly sure your reply was meant flippantly, but a good teacher never turns down a good opening to make a point.

I prefer to say that my points are meant much like the second hit after a serve in volleyball. It sets something up for someone to drive something home.

[The Gaelic Kingdoms of Britain]

I'd personally use positive reinforcement, but I'm not averse to spanking (I was spanked after all, and look how well I turned out ^_^ ) Anyhow, the Government has no place in telling parents how to discipline their children, unless they are being overly abusive.

[Imsogone]

I'd personally use positive reinforcement, but I'm not averse to spanking (I was spanked after all, and look how well I turned out ^_^ ) Anyhow, the Government has no place in telling parents how to discipline their children, unless they are being overly abusive.

So, slightly abusive is ok?

[Alimprad]

if a child does something wrong that means they or others around them may not become as educated as possible, 1 beatings all it takes and they wont do it again, in the case of a child continueing to break the rules, giving them a warning isnt going to help anyone. when the childs grown up it will thank you for having a good job and house and reasonable income, everybody wins.

[NERVUN]

if a child does something wrong that means they or others around them may not become as educated as possible, 1 beatings all it takes and they wont do it again, in the case of a child continueing to break the rules, giving them a warning isnt going to help anyone. when the childs grown up it will thank you for having a good job and house and reasonable income, everybody wins.

Really?

I hate to tell you this, but hitting a kid doesn't mean they won't do it again! Not unless you hit them hard enough of course, it's hard to do something again when dead or seriously injured.

[SaintB]

I was never paddled as a child so I know its entirely possible to raise kids without resorting to violence and pain to get your point across. Furthermore I think anyone who believes they do need to use violence and pain to get a point across is a somewhat disturbed individual.

Nobody ever smacked me or my siblings; when we got in trouble we were punished by having privileges removed or extra chores added to our schedule and then we would be given an explanation about why what we did was wrong. In extreme cases we'd be forced to stay in our rooms for a time. We were never ever hit - me and my brothers and sister grew up just fucking fine without it and in someways seem to be better off emotionally than most.

[SaintB]

if a child does something wrong that means they or others around them may not become as educated as possible, 1 beatings all it takes and they wont do it again, in the case of a child continueing to break the rules, giving them a warning isnt going to help anyone. when the childs grown up it will thank you for having a good job and house and reasonable income, everybody wins.

Really?

I hate to tell you this, but hitting a kid doesn't mean they won't do it again! Not unless you hit them hard enough of course, it's hard to do something again when dead or seriously injured.

People don't listen to reason, they never have. They don't listen to professionals either because they already know everything.

[Grad Duchy of Luxembourg]

Really?

I hate to tell you this, but hitting a kid doesn't mean they won't do it again! Not unless you hit them hard enough of course, it's hard to do something again when dead or seriously injured.

People don't listen to reason, they never have. They don't listen to professionals either because they already know everything.

I've never made an enemy as quickly as I did when I suggested a child rearing method to a parent. I now just limit myself to a complimenting parents when I see a parenting method I agree with.

[Yaltabaoth]

if a child does something wrong that means they or others around them may not become as educated as possible, 1 beatings all it takes and they wont do it again, in the case of a child continueing to break the rules, giving them a warning isnt going to help anyone. when the childs grown up it will thank you for having a good job and house and reasonable income, everybody wins.

All my parents achieved by beating me, was to teach me to fear and hate them.
It's almost 20 years since I last spoke to them.

...aah, what's the fucking point? Sadists gonna Sade...

[Ethel mermania]

You should teach them they *do* want to get hit?

If they do, that's their choice, when they're old enough, and I really don't wanna know about it.

Here's the issue though, pain is indeed a good teacher, but it also shuts down everything.

To go back to my example with my son, sure, I could have smacked him for punching his mother. The lesson I'm trying to teach is not to hit after all (We'll ignore the contradiction there), but...

What if later on I want my son to develop a good sense of when it IS ok to hit? I mean, in defense of self and others? If I smacked him now, it's going to be harder to address this with him later, not to mention the lesson I really am teaching isn't that it's not ok to hit, but that it's only ok to hit if you happen to have the power. I also taught him that Daddy = pain and fear, making him mistrust me, which is something I really don't want.

I'm fairly sure your reply was meant flippantly, but a good teacher never turns down a good opening to make a point.

fwiw, when discussing an older kid, one who understands you can love and be mad at the same time, them having the fear of god of you, is not necessarily a bad thing.

for example the youngest boy, was claiming i could not find out what he was doing, i hacked his cellphone, changed his wallpaper and ring tone, and just smiled at him when he askd me how it hppened.

[The Rich Port]

Well it's saying to punish children because you love them, those who only spare the rod "hate" their children. Also none of you are my parents to my knowledge so don't touch me, I'm fragile.

I agree with the old saying completely, sometimes talking doesn't do the job. I'd probably talk to the kid once about a specific incident, but on a repeat offense it's belt time.

For a second offense?

That's like giving someone 10 years to life for jaywalking three times.

Or... Beating them with a rod for jaywalking twice.

[NERVUN]

If they do, that's their choice, when they're old enough, and I really don't wanna know about it.

Here's the issue though, pain is indeed a good teacher, but it also shuts down everything.

To go back to my example with my son, sure, I could have smacked him for punching his mother. The lesson I'm trying to teach is not to hit after all (We'll ignore the contradiction there), but...

What if later on I want my son to develop a good sense of when it IS ok to hit? I mean, in defense of self and others? If I smacked him now, it's going to be harder to address this with him later, not to mention the lesson I really am teaching isn't that it's not ok to hit, but that it's only ok to hit if you happen to have the power. I also taught him that Daddy = pain and fear, making him mistrust me, which is something I really don't want.

I'm fairly sure your reply was meant flippantly, but a good teacher never turns down a good opening to make a point.

fwiw, when discussing an older kid, one who understands you can love and be mad at the same time, them having the fear of god of you, is not necessarily a bad thing.

for example the youngest boy, was claiming i could not find out what he was doing, i hacked his cellphone, changed his wallpaper and ring tone, and just smiled at him when he askd me how it hppened.

That's different of course.

[Jessjohnesik]

If the child is emotionally healthy then the parent should not never resort to force.
If, after being evaluated by a professional, they are found to have a certain disorder then they
should be treated according to the rulings of the professional. Or if severe, put in an asylum.

The only thing that matters is what gets your child to obey. If a smack on the wrist works do it. If putting them in a corner works do that. But if nothing else works put that belt or paddle to that ass enough times, they'll stop.

As much as I like dogs and all other animals,
A child is not a dog. You can't just make them 'obey'.

[Little Tralfamadore]

As much as I like dogs and all other animals,
A child is not a dog. You can't just make them 'obey'.

You are talking semantics. No one meant a child should be forced to give blind obedience like some animal. I would hope that you could see that.

Fine. Change 'obey' to 'listen', 'learn', or whatever word will soothe your conscious. The intended meaning that a child has to learn doesn't change.



On a different note, there are no absolutes. Sometimes a smacking (not a beating) is called for. Other times, a more creative approach must be taken.

Best method of discipline I've ever seen happened when I was 10 years old - a long long long time ago.

My friend did something wrong. His mother was a single mom and when confronted about what he did, he told her that she was free to spank him as he didn't fear her spankings.

She told him she was shocked and aghast that he would think she could hurt him. She told him, "you're my first born child, my only son. I love you more than anything on this earth. How could you possibly think I would hurt you? I need to show you how much I love you. I am going to come to your school every day so I can hug you and kiss you and make sure that you and everyone knows how much I love you."

That friend of mine started confessing to things he did wrong (including some things we'd done together, the little snitch) and that he didn't deserve her showing all that love. He started promising how he'd behave better. And for the most part he did.

Sometimes a little embarrassment or even a threat to embarrass can be a far more effective form of discipline than actual physical harm.

[Disserbia]

Violence brings violence, the correct method is tons of patience and long sensere talks with your kids.

I agree with the first part of this, not so sure about the second part though. My parents really only got scary if my grades dropped.