The New Bear Approach

[The Scandinvans]

It seems the Indian army has finally found a way to deal with those pesky militants.

The answer seems to be bears. Bears who eat their nation's enemies. *nod*

A bear killed two militants after discovering them in its den in Indian-administered Kashmir, police say.

Two other militants escaped, one of them badly wounded, after the attack in Kulgam district, south of Srinagar.

The militants had assault rifles but were taken by surprise - police found the remains of pudding they had made to eat when the bear attacked.

It is thought to be the first such incident since Muslim separatists took up arms against Indian rule in 1989.

Bodies found

The militants had made their hideout in a cave which was actually the bear's den, said police officer Farooq Ahmed.

The dead have been identified as Mohammad Amin alias Qaiser, and Bashir Ahmed alias Saifullah.

News of the attack emerged when their injured comrade went to a nearby village for treatment.

"Word spread in the village that Qaiser had been killed by the bear," another police officer said.

A joint party of the police and army personnel went into the forest and collected the bodies of the two militants.

Police say they also recovered two Kalashnikov assault rifles and some ammunition from the hideout.

Animal attacks

Wildlife experts say the conflict in Kashmir has actually resulted in an increase in the population of bears and leopards.

Following the outbreak of the insurgency people had to hand in their weapons to police - which put a halt to poaching.

As a result, there has been a greater incidence of man-animal conflict, say experts.

There have been many reports of bears and leopards killing or mauling humans in different parts of the Kashmir valley in recent years.

Three years ago, residents of Mandora village near the southern town of Tral, beat a black bear to death which had strayed into the village

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8339549.stm

[Zeppy]

Stephen Colbert warned us about these godless killing machines, but did we listen? No.

[Brogavia]

Stephen Colbert warned us about these godless killing machines, but did we listen? No.

Muslims?

[Charlotte Ryberg]

I may want to point out that the bears in the story may in fact be wild, so I think this was an indiscriminate attack. Either way, it seems to indicate now wildlife is indeed thriving in Kashmir (this may or may not be indicative of the overall situation of the safety of species on planet Earth).

[Zeppy]

Stephen Colbert warned us about these godless killing machines, but did we listen? No.

Muslims?

Yes that but in the ebilist of them all, is the Muslim bear!

Fear him.

[Lunatic Goofballs]

Clearly we must expand this plan and begin releasing bears along the Afghan/Pakistan border. *nod*

[Zeppy]

Clearly we must expand this plan and begin releasing bears along the Afghan/Pakistan border. *nod*

One of many of Obamas plan.

[United Russian State]

One more reason why bears should be the national emblem, they kick ass!

[Hydesland]

Obligatory:

[Flameswroth]

Clearly we must expand this plan and begin releasing bears along the Afghan/Pakistan border. *nod*

One of many of Obamas plan.

I envision a genetic facility somewhere deep underground in a remote state like Montana, where a new breed of bear is being engineered by our government to do just that. Elite bear squadrons patrolling the Pakistani mountainside, with improved sense of smell to root out those enemies.

DO WANT GENETIC SUPERSOLDIER BEARS! <3

[Greed and Death]

The militants are dead, but left their guns. The next batch of militants will have to deal with...

[Chernobyl-Pripyat]

To think if we had these in Chechnya and Dagestan, the enemy would have been wiped out by mid 2001!

[Greed and Death]

To think if we had these in Chechnya and Dagestan, the enemy would have been wiped out by mid 2001!

Sadly the Russians prefer to let Spanish nobility hunt all their bears.

[Brogavia]

They must have been relatives of Voytek.

http://www.badassoftheweek.com/voytek.html

He drank, he smoked, and he kicked Nazi ass.

[La Habana]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/8339549.stm

Now, if the coalition forces in Afghanistan were to sneak a few black bears into Taliban tunnels, they may just have the solution to all their problems.....

[Tubbsalot]

I keep getting the feeling that the best weapon against the Taliban would be something along the lines of "not being dicks to the local population."

Edit: also, holy shit that's awesome. I can't imagine what they were thinking.
"Hey Kabul, let's hide out in this mysterious, dark cave which is oddly warm and has an animal odour about it."
"Alright, Hassan. And let me put down my rifle and not bother, say, yelling into the cave, just in case."

[La Habana]

I keep getting the feeling that the best weapon against the Taliban would be something along the lines of "not being dicks to the local population."

Yes that too.

[Lord-General Drache]

There was a russian bear who served in their military during world war II. It received multiple commendations and promotions. Can't remember the name though, and I hope it's not apocryphal.

[Almajoya]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/8339549.stm

Now, if the coalition forces in Afghanistan were to sneak a few black bears into Taliban tunnels, they may just have the solution to all their problems.....

I think you may have figured out what happened to Bin Laden.

[Zeppy]

There was a russian bear who served in their military during world war II. It received multiple commendations and promotions. Can't remember the name though, and I hope it's not apocryphal.

Vladimir Putin?

[Call to power]

The British army has used this tactics for years



their not dead their hibernating

I keep getting the feeling that the best weapon against the Taliban would be something along the lines of "not being dicks to the local population."

you'd think so but no what with Taliban being made up of foreigner using fear and intimidation to get what they want

[Lord-General Drache]

There was a russian bear who served in their military during world war II. It received multiple commendations and promotions. Can't remember the name though, and I hope it's not apocryphal.

Vladimir Putin?

No, his eyes are too soulless to be a creature of nature. A common mistake his victims make before he consumes there souls, you know.

[Jordaxia]

There was a russian bear who served in their military during world war II. It received multiple commendations and promotions. Can't remember the name though, and I hope it's not apocryphal.

Vladimir Putin?

No, his eyes are too soulless to be a creature of nature. A common mistake his victims make before he consumes there souls, you know.

Their souls*.

Another common mistake.

Also, look up a few posts and you'll see the bear you're talking about.

[Mad hatters in jeans]

It could be a couple of soldiers in disguise as a ruse to scare new soldiers on duty sorta thing.

[Samatolian City-States]

I keep getting the feeling that the best weapon against the Taliban would be something along the lines of "not being dicks to the local population."

you'd think so but no what with Taliban being made up of foreigner using fear and intimidation to get what they want

Not really. Try again.