7 Worst Things About Being Male

[Neo Art]

Horrible? No, but again, I don't think people have suggested it's HORRIBLE, so continuing to claim this is, again, a childish insistance on absolutes. I don't think it's HORRIBLE.

I think it's likely to be perceived as fucking annoying, and probably bothered more people than he's aware of.

According to whom? You? Are you annoyed by the notion? Have you done the research in his locality.

How can you assert with any sort of confidence that his greeting is in fact annoying, beyond your personal feelings in the matter?

....because I'm a fucking adult with a working knowledge of basic social norms?

Fuck, I can't believe I have to be saying that out loud.

[The Emerald Dawn]

The problem seems to be that I'm an otherwise "real mensch", but I do this one thing that works for me, but annoys the majority of people posting here.

I honestly have that effect on people. Even people who like me for some reason seem to hate me at times. *shrug*

Noone can always like somebody else 100%. In fact, I'd find such a thing creepy

You can love unconditionally though

Let the sunshine in.

[The Blaatschapen]

Yes...and as ED mentioned if someone doesn't appreciate it and says as much, off he goes. Therefore there's no reason to get bent out of shape over one instance, and suggesting that what he does is horrible in the first place is again, disingenuous.

Except that people do actually feign appreciation for that sort of thing lest they seem rude. That is, for instance, what I would do.

Actually, such a thing would just reinforce the behaviour, since the one doing it is not getting negative feedback that they should, but rather the opposite.

*rings a Pavlov bell*

[Northern Dominus]

According to whom? You? Are you annoyed by the notion? Have you done the research in his locality.

How can you assert with any sort of confidence that his greeting is in fact annoying, beyond your personal feelings in the matter?

....because I'm a fucking adult with a working knowledge of basic social norms?

Fuck, I can't believe I have to be saying that out loud.

Is his greeting unconventional? Yes. But it's also an attention getter, which is pretty much the objective when trying to greet the opposite sex or getting someone's attention.

Besides, what exactly is so annoying about "Show me a smile."? It;s not like ED puts smeared makeup on waves a knife around and hoarsely growls "Let's put a smile on that face!"... because that's so 2009.

[Nailed to the Perch]

suggesting that what he does is horrible

Even people who like me for some reason seem to hate me at times.

This is the problem. These things are not happening. The only person who came even vaguely close to suggesting that telling a stranger to smile was "horrible" was FSC, who is no longer in this conversation, and I don't think even (s)he said anything implying that (s)he "hates" TED. The rest of us have consistently used words for the behavior like "fairly annoying" and "obnoxious" and have said things like, "I'm sure you mean well, which is why it seems like you'd want to know that this thing you do annoys many people." This sort of histrionic "you all think he's HORRIBLE and HATE him" response to, "yo, actually, that thing you sometimes do is annoying to many people, you should probably not do that unless you want to annoy many people" is frankly ridiculous.

[Yarth]

....because I'm a fucking adult with a working knowledge of basic social norms?

Fuck, I can't believe I have to be saying that out loud.

Is his greeting unconventional? Yes. But it's also an attention getter, which is pretty much the objective when trying to greet the opposite sex or getting someone's attention.

Besides, what exactly is so annoying about "Show me a smile."? It;s not like ED puts smeared makeup on waves a knife around and hoarsely growls "Let's put a smile on that face!"... because that's so 2009.

Well BDSM could be rather fun I guess.

[EnragedMaldivians]

....because I'm a fucking adult with a working knowledge of basic social norms?

Fuck, I can't believe I have to be saying that out loud.

Is his greeting unconventional? Yes. But it's also an attention getter, which is pretty much the objective when trying to greet the opposite sex or getting someone's attention.

Besides, what exactly is so annoying about "Show me a smile."? It;s not like ED puts smeared makeup on waves a knife around and hoarsely growls "Let's put a smile on that face!"... because that's so 2009.

I'm genuinely not sure you understand that just because something is not outrageously laden with malicious implications, it can't be annoying. What he's doing isn't the most horrible, evil thing ever; he's just doing something a lot of people find very irritating.

He's talking about strangers who seem a little down, walking up to them and, offering them a drink and telling them to smile. To some it's a nice gesture. To many others its irritating. Some would feign appreciation when they'd rather he leave. There is no way he could tell. See what I'm getting at?

Again. There are other people at bars who go there to socialise. It seems more prudent to strike up a conversation with them

Except that people do actually feign appreciation for that sort of thing lest they seem rude. That is, for instance, what I would do.

Actually, such a thing would just reinforce the behaviour, since the one doing it is not getting negative feedback that they should, but rather the opposite.

*rings a Pavlov bell*

If this ever happens to me again, are you suggesting I bite the poor bloke on the nose?

[Neo Art]

Besides, what exactly is so annoying about "Show me a smile."?

You need it explained to you why a strange man going up to women who don't know him and telling them to smile might be annoying?

Really? you REALLY need this explained to you?

Really?

It;s not like ED puts smeared makeup on waves a knife around and hoarsely growls "Let's put a smile on that face!"... because that's so 2009.

You're right, because that wouldn't be "annoying" that would be "menacing". And that's a felony.

Seriously, this is your argument? "he's not criminally threatening them, so what's so bad about it?"

Really?

Again, adults are supposed to be capable of more sophistication than this.

[The Blaatschapen]

Actually, such a thing would just reinforce the behaviour, since the one doing it is not getting negative feedback that they should, but rather the opposite.

*rings a Pavlov bell*

If this ever happens to me again, are you suggesting I bite the poor bloke on the nose?

Unless you want to get detained for molestation, no, that was not what I was suggesting.

[Ostroeuropa]

By the way, if any of you go into a bar and take a seat, then later on a large group of strangers walk in and immediately glare at you, you are in their seats. They are regulars. For this reason, never sit in the best seats at a pub. Those are always the ones.

[The Blaatschapen]

By the way, if any of you go into a bar and take a seat, then later on a large group of strangers walk in and immediately glare at you, you are in their seats. They are regulars. For this reason, never sit in the best seats at a pub. Those are always the ones.

I doubt TED has taken their seat

[Yarth]

By the way, if any of you go into a bar and take a seat, then later on a large group of strangers walk in and immediately glare at you, you are in their seats. They are regulars. For this reason, never sit in the best seats at a pub. Those are always the ones.

Unless it is a gay bar, and you are looking for a nice guy to date.

[Nailed to the Perch]

....because I'm a fucking adult with a working knowledge of basic social norms?

Fuck, I can't believe I have to be saying that out loud.

Is his greeting unconventional? Yes. But it's also an attention getter, which is pretty much the objective when trying to greet the opposite sex or getting someone's attention.

Besides, what exactly is so annoying about "Show me a smile."? It;s not like ED puts smeared makeup on waves a knife around and hoarsely growls "Let's put a smile on that face!"... because that's so 2009.

Do you really want an answer to what's annoying about it, or are you going to jump on anyone who answers and argue that their reasons for finding it annoying aren't good enough?

Personally, I find it annoying because I do not like a stranger telling me what to do, because there is an overarching cultural expectation that women should perform attractiveness for men even when we don't want to that I find deeply objectionable, because if I look sad it's probably because I'm sad and having to put on a happy face for someone else is hardly likely to make me feel better, and because it is not actually an "unconventional" greeting at all, but rather something most women have heard from random strange men more than once, and many of those strange men will act like aggressive dicks if you don't comply, which means the response is a lot less likely to be, "Ooh, this is a completely original thing I have never heard!" than, "Ugh, not this shit again." I do not believe TED is an aggressive dick about it, from what he's said, but a random woman he approaches cannot plausibly know if this guy is going to back off politely if she says, "Please leave me alone, I am sad," or if he's going to reply with, "I've got something in my PANTS to make you happy, hurr hurr hurr, how about that, bitch?" because, realistically, she's likely to have encountered as much or more of the latter as the former.

I would, in fact, say being told to smile is more annoying than someone threatening me with a knife. That's because being threatened with a knife is not "annoying," it's fucking TERRIFYING - not to mention criminal. When I say something is annoying, I do not generally need it to be pointed out that it's less bad than threatening to stab me with a knife, seeing as very few people would categorize the latter as "annoying."

[EnragedMaldivians]

If this ever happens to me again, are you suggesting I bite the poor bloke on the nose?

Unless you want to get detained for molestation, no, that was not what I was suggesting.

Not even a little bit?

Well, it doesn't really happen much to be fair, more than just sometimes I'm in a bad mood and someone tries to strike up a conversation with me. And I'm mostly talking about friends and family. Strangers are another ball game entirely, in that it'd be a lot more annoying.

[The Blaatschapen]

The more I'm on NSG, the less likely that I want to visit the USA.

[EnragedMaldivians]

The more I'm on NSG, the less likely that I want to visit the USA.

Well I'm from the Maldives, so don't be off by my posts. >.>

[The Emerald Dawn]

The more I'm on NSG, the less likely that I want to visit the USA.

We've perfected the art of "Guilt Fu". It's a subtle art, but we can make anyone feel guilty about anything at any time. It's an unfortunate style that came around due to our hideous record on race and gender relations, and has become something of a national sport.

[The Blaatschapen]

The more I'm on NSG, the less likely that I want to visit the USA.

Well I'm from the Maldives, so don't be off by my posts. >.>

I wasn't.

[The Blaatschapen]

The more I'm on NSG, the less likely that I want to visit the USA.

We've perfected the art of "Guilt Fu". It's a subtle art, but we can make anyone feel guilty about anything at any time. It's an unfortunate style that came around due to our hideous record on race and gender relations, and has become something of a national sport.

We have a lot to learn from you guys when it comes to guilt tripping *nods*

Or maybe we shouldn't

[The Emerald Dawn]

By the way, if any of you go into a bar and take a seat, then later on a large group of strangers walk in and immediately glare at you, you are in their seats. They are regulars. For this reason, never sit in the best seats at a pub. Those are always the ones.

I doubt TED has taken their seat

I tried to sit on a barstool once, on a bet. Let's just say that it was absolutely the most hilarious thing to me, and watching the reactions from people range from "OH GOD THEY ARE TORMENTING THAT POOR HANDICAPPED GENTLEMAN" to "HEE HEE LOOK AT THE CRIPPLE TWIRL" was worth the effort.

[Northern Dominus]

Besides, what exactly is so annoying about "Show me a smile."?

You need it explained to you why a strange man going up to women who don't know him and telling them to smile might be annoying?

Really? you REALLY need this explained to you?

Really?

It;s not like ED puts smeared makeup on waves a knife around and hoarsely growls "Let's put a smile on that face!"... because that's so 2009.

You're right, because that wouldn't be "annoying" that would be "menacing". And that's a felony.

Seriously, this is your argument? "he's not criminally threatening them, so what's so bad about it?"

Really?

Again, adults are supposed to be capable of more sophistication than this.

I am, and I'm failing to see your overall point beyond "Somebody might be annoyed and therefore somebody should stop using a particular greeting forthwith."

The greeting in question is at best nonsensical and sort of silly, and sometimes that's what people in need of a sounding board need, a bit of comedic tension relief to make everything ok. Is it perfect? Nothing is, but in the pantheon of potential social foibles I fail to see how that rates beyond a bit of a social idiosyncrasy. The only people that would be seriously disturbed by such an advance are either A. Deeply disturbed and in need of counselling or B. Looking for drama and an excuse to get riled up. Beyond that at most it's a minor annoyance which can be overcome with a bit of conversation or politely blown off.

[Scomagia]

The more I'm on NSG, the less likely that I want to visit the USA.

We've perfected the art of "Guilt Fu". It's a subtle art, but we can make anyone feel guilty about anything at any time. It's an unfortunate style that came around due to our hideous record on race and gender relations, and has become something of a national sport.

Yup, my family is made up of all stars of this sport. *nods*

[Northern Dominus]

I doubt TED has taken their seat

I tried to sit on a barstool once, on a bet. Let's just say that it was absolutely the most hilarious thing to me, and watching the reactions from people range from "OH GOD THEY ARE TORMENTING THAT POOR HANDICAPPED GENTLEMAN" to "HEE HEE LOOK AT THE CRIPPLE TWIRL" was worth the effort.

See, I'd probably be the asshole asking the etherial woman in question to take pity and pay special attention to you because of your lowly state in a wheelchair....but it's well documented that I can be a well-meaning asshole after a few drinks.

[The Emerald Dawn]

I tried to sit on a barstool once, on a bet. Let's just say that it was absolutely the most hilarious thing to me, and watching the reactions from people range from "OH GOD THEY ARE TORMENTING THAT POOR HANDICAPPED GENTLEMAN" to "HEE HEE LOOK AT THE CRIPPLE TWIRL" was worth the effort.

See, I'd probably be the asshole asking the etherial woman in question to take pity and pay special attention to you because of your lowly state in a wheelchair....but it's well documented that I can be a well-meaning asshole after a few drinks.

The Bartender had this absolutely pole-ax'd look on her face. She couldn't decide whether to tell me to stop, or tell them to stop, or let it go because I was laughing and had just dropped seventy quid on the table for drinks for people.

[Ethel mermania]

Or, to put it another way, your oversensitivity and petulence about being told that occassionally you might do things that that upset people, and MAYBE you should consider that before you do it, is solely your problem.

Nobody elses.

No, it was a problem with FSC, who has since gone to moderation about it. Then the dogpile came, which I was not the only person to see. Again, I've made clear that I fuck off on request. This isn't news.

he went to moderation really? the boy who called me a rapist for buying a girl a drink in a bar? when i finish reading this thread, which has taken me my entire commute home, i will go read that.