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Would you date a transgender?

For discussion and debate about anything. (Not a roleplay related forum; out-of-character commentary only.)

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Yes
335
41%
No
477
59%
 
Total votes : 812

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Grenartia
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Postby Grenartia » Fri Mar 01, 2013 11:21 pm

The Steel Magnolia wrote:
Grenartia wrote:
True, but if Rere wants observed scientific justifications for gender not being sex, I figured that was as good as anything else I knew of.


True, but it doesn't actually serve our interests in the long run. Indeed, it reinforces that whole ideal of biological justification.

What'd be better is any one of the oh, I don't know, dozens of studies on trans* people or the fact that gender =/= is kind of an accepted fact... basically everywhere.


Admittedly.

The Steel Magnolia wrote:
Rereumrari wrote:It makes sense. I'm not denying that people who undergo sex-changes are mentally normal, but I don't think surgery is the best way to go to help them. This is the only field I know of where plastic surgery is the cure for a mental problem and I find it appalling that mental therapy isn't even considered to help people come to terms with how they view themselves.


Where's Sous' list of WPATH sources.


I have it pulled up. Hold on, its in a locked thread, so it'll take me a few to post.

EDIT: Here it is.

Souseiseki wrote:"WPATH standards of care posted:
“Sex reassignment is not “experimental”, “investigative”, “elective”, “cosmetic”, or optional in any meaningful sense. It constitutes very effective and appropriate treatment for transsexualism or profound GID.”

Pfallin, 1993 posted:
“In over 80 qualitatively different case studies and reviews from 12 countries, it has been demonstrated during the last 30 years that the treatment that includes the whole process of gender reassignment is effective.”

GIRES (2006) "Atypical gender development - A review" posted:
“The hormonal, surgical and psychological procedures of transition reduce the dissonance between the psychological identification as male or female, on the one hand, and the phenotype and associated gender role on the other. Such
treatments are regarded as highly successful.”

Lawrence, 2002 posted:
2002 Lawrence study of MtF patients gives 3% of 232 participants giving quality of life after SRS as either “unchanged” or “worsened” - Only 1 participant responded with “worsened”, 7 with “unchanged”. “No participants reported consistent Regret"

Lawrence, 2002 "Factors associated with satisfaction or regret following male-to-female SRS" posted:
“Even patients who develop severe surgical complications seldom regret having undergone surgery. The importance of surgery can be appreciated by the repeated finding that quality of surgical results is one of the best predictors of the overall outcome of sex reassignment”

In short, this is seen as one of the most effective treatment for trans people and it literally saves lives. I also have a lot of data on the increased risk of suicidality of trans people who are not allowed access to treatment, and data on how GID is an isolated diagnosis - It is not a sign of delusions or other severe mental illness. Cole et al (1997) study into co-morbidity will provide this data, if you want to take a look."

still shamelessly stolen from noreaus
Last edited by Grenartia on Fri Mar 01, 2013 11:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Meryuma
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Postby Meryuma » Fri Mar 01, 2013 11:23 pm

Rereumrari wrote:
Grenartia wrote:
Can you at least be expected to tell us why without us asking?



Same question as above.
Why does it really matter why? Everyone has a preference of who they will and will not have sex with. I never see anyone here as a gay man "why don't you want to have sex with a woman?" The answer should be pretty obvious.


I wasn't objecting to your preferences, I was objecting to the utterly stupid and marginalizing notion that trans women are men.

Saiwania wrote:
Meryuma wrote:What noticeable, significant male traits does a post-op MTF transsexual have?


You can't change your biological sex just like that! It is something that you are born into that is as permanent as your skin color. A sex change isn't real, it is just changing your physical appearance to look male or female but does not have the exact same body type and biological differences.


You missed the point of my question. What noticeable, significant male traits does a post-op MTF transsexual have that would get in the way of an enjoyable heterosexual relationship between you and her?

Also, do you call intersex women "men"?

Rereumrari wrote:They concluded that homosexuality wasn't a mental illness based on observation of it in multiple cultures. If the logic follows, then people with schizophrenia would also not be mentally i'll because they are observable in multiple cultures as well.


:palm: Actually, homosexuality was proclaimed not to be a mental illness because it isn't innately harmful. So much for your psychology major.
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Zweite Alaje
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Postby Zweite Alaje » Fri Mar 01, 2013 11:38 pm

Nothing against trans, but personally not my cup of tea.
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Aleckandor
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Postby Aleckandor » Fri Mar 01, 2013 11:44 pm

I honestly wouldn't know, as I've never had the chance to encounter someone who was in my actual life. However, just because I would date them or not, does not mean I'll treat them any different than any other people (I like to believe that would just be a general politeness in a neutral kind of way).
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YellowApple
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Postby YellowApple » Sat Mar 02, 2013 1:06 am

The Steel Magnolia wrote:
YellowApple wrote:I probably wouldn't. Granted, I'm not completely opposed to the idea - just as I'm not completely opposed to the idea of having a boyfriend/husband - but I generally prefer a significant other who I could look forward to marrying and having a (biological) family with, a desire which a transgender SO would not be able to easily fulfill, even with corrective surgery.

However, in the hypothetical event that I did engage in such a relationship, honesty is mandatory; said SO must be up-front about it and verify whether or not I'm alright with it.

Unrelated to my own personal views on the matter, this thread's topic reminded me of a line from The Vicar of Dibley:



Oh for fuck's sake.

This is too fucking easy.


Would you mind clarifying your statement?

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Stormdawn
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Postby Stormdawn » Sat Mar 02, 2013 1:07 am

To actually answer the question...

No, because I'm already with a lovely (both physically and mentally) girl. Obviously, there's nothing saying that someone who's trans* couldn't be just as nice, or that I wouldn't find them attractive as well, but I have no interest in breaking up with her, so that applies to anyone of any gender.

Were it to turn out she's trans*, I'd be somewhat upset, seeing as we've known each other for a few years now, and she knows that she can trust me, so the fact that she hadn't informed me before we got together would hurt, but I definitely wouldn't split up with her over it.
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Postby Wikipedia and Universe » Sat Mar 02, 2013 1:09 am

Kanery wrote:I am pretty young so maybe I can't judge but if somebody I (I being a boy) love wanted me to love them as a woman I would do that. Who would I be to decide how she viewed the part she played in our relationship? Who would I be to judge her for an image of herself she has chosen to leave behind? Why would that give me incentive to love her less?
That's awesome. Keep it up, and I dare say you'll grow up to be quite an awesome man. We need more people like you. ;)

The Steel Magnolia wrote:Actually, gynecologists can't tell the difference between a cis woman who's had a hysterectomy and a trans woman.

So.
Wow, that's so cool!

All these oversimplified descriptions of SRS I keep hearing are so misleading!

Ifreann wrote:
The Steel Magnolia wrote:Thankfully you don't need to have implants to have boobs? Seriously hormones do a lot.
Based on seeing a few "Before-During-Now" pictures of people going taking hormones to transition, I've come to the conclusion that they are, in fact, some class of witchcraft.
Well, I do consider modern medicine a form of Magickal weaponry...
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The Steel Magnolia
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Postby The Steel Magnolia » Sat Mar 02, 2013 1:21 am

YellowApple wrote:
The Steel Magnolia wrote:
Oh for fuck's sake.

This is too fucking easy.


Would you mind clarifying your statement?


The quotation is stupid and perpetuates inaccurate and negative stereotypes, and I'm frankly disappointed that you use it.

Also the honesty thing has been addressed. Repeatedly.

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YellowApple
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Postby YellowApple » Sat Mar 02, 2013 1:23 am

The Steel Magnolia wrote:
YellowApple wrote:
Would you mind clarifying your statement?


The quotation is stupid and perpetuates inaccurate and negative stereotypes, and I'm frankly disappointed that you use it.

Also the honesty thing has been addressed. Repeatedly.


Well sorry if I didn't read through 33 pages of other posts before providing my personal opinion.

Also, learn to have a sense of humor every once in awhile ;)

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Risottia
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Postby Risottia » Sat Mar 02, 2013 1:37 am

Continentalia wrote:If you're in a relationship now, and the person you're with turns out to be transgender, would you stay
with them?

I'd be quite pissed of having that bit withhold from myself for the last 11 years.
Then again, those 11 years makes A LOT unlikely that this should be the case.

Or if a transgender person wanted you to date them, would you?

No, I wouldn't. I'm already engaged.
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Grenartia
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Postby Grenartia » Sat Mar 02, 2013 1:37 am

Wikipedia and Universe wrote:
The Steel Magnolia wrote:Actually, gynecologists can't tell the difference between a cis woman who's had a hysterectomy and a trans woman.

So.
Wow, that's so cool!

All these oversimplified descriptions of SRS I keep hearing are so misleading!


Well, would you mind clearing things up in this regard?
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Risottia
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Postby Risottia » Sat Mar 02, 2013 1:39 am

The Steel Magnolia wrote:Actually, gynecologists can't tell the difference between a cis woman who's had a hysterectomy and a trans woman.


:?: What about the ovaries?
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AaronFreJonesia
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Postby AaronFreJonesia » Sat Mar 02, 2013 2:01 am

I am not gay, bisexual or anything exotic like that, I'm a plain ordinary heterosexual male, and I think that as long as the transgender woman (that means she's a woman now right? cause that's what I mean) was someone I found physically, mentally and emotionally attractive, then I would have no problem (other than she can't tell my mother that she was born a male, or any of my family, but I have no problem). I do want children, but there are always other options with that (adoption and such :) ). At this point just want a woman that wouldn't find me too repulsive. :D
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Stormdawn
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Postby Stormdawn » Sat Mar 02, 2013 2:27 am

The Steel Magnolia wrote:Also the honesty thing has been addressed. Repeatedly.


While I agree that it's not dishonest to not inform someone, would you also say that, assuming the relationship has been going for a while, the non-trans* member would not be justified in being upset about the fact that their partner hadn't trusted them enough to tell them? If so, why?
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The Steel Magnolia
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Postby The Steel Magnolia » Sat Mar 02, 2013 2:31 am

Stormdawn wrote:
The Steel Magnolia wrote:Also the honesty thing has been addressed. Repeatedly.


While I agree that it's not dishonest to not inform someone, would you also say that, assuming the relationship has been going for a while, the non-trans* member would not be justified in being upset about the fact that their partner hadn't trusted them enough to tell them? If so, why?


Oh certainly, it's a messy situation with no real good solution. I'm just saying there are other factors to be considered, and if you're in a serious relationship it's understandable that your SO didn't trust you enough to tell you before.

On the other hand, if you're in a serious relationship you'll understand if your SO is reluctant to share that information with anyone.

Now me? I'm pretty much out to the entire world. I pretty exclusively hang out around queer folks, which is a factor, but regardless - anyone that I date or sleep with is going to know beforehand.

But that situation isn't the case for everyone. I live in Toronto, in an area where my gender identity is respected and my legal protections are codified into law.

Anyway I think you're (general you) perfectly justified in being upset about the fact your SO didn't tell you. if they're your significant other, and you call them that for a reason, just keep in mind that there are pretty big reasons why peeps don't disclose, and it may not be about you specifically.

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Stormdawn
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Postby Stormdawn » Sat Mar 02, 2013 3:00 am

Makes sense. And yeah, it's definitely going to end up complicated. It may not be the messiest situation (not having been in it from either side, I can't compare to any of the messy ones I've been in, and anyway, that's going to be intensely subjective...), but it's certainly not a simple one, either.

Also, as regards your last line, I can definitely confirm that as a general rule with this sort of thing. While the two cases are different in some ways, there's stuff I didn't learn about my now-girlfriend until just recently, despite the fact we've been very close for several years. She had no reason to not trust me, in particular, it's just that she's been hurt so many times in the past that she doesn't really trust anyone.
Stormdawn, as in my in-game nation, is, pretty much entirely an OOC construct.

For FT, I use the Undying Fleet, a group of pseudo-nomadic humans and AIs.

For FanPMT, I use the Thriceborn Empire, an empire always ruled by sibling pairs. This is my WA nation, not Stormdawn.

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Jessjohnesik
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Postby Jessjohnesik » Sat Mar 02, 2013 3:06 am

I wouldn't want to date a guy who was a girl. ;)
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Grenartia
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Postby Grenartia » Sat Mar 02, 2013 4:28 am

Jessjohnesik wrote:I wouldn't want to date a guy who was a girl. ;)


Care to tell us why?
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Hockenberg
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Postby Hockenberg » Sat Mar 02, 2013 4:32 am

I'm a zoophile, so no.
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Postby Tuthina » Sat Mar 02, 2013 4:43 am

Jessjohnesik wrote:I wouldn't want to date a guy who was a girl. ;)

You do not realise that she would be a girl that understands how a guy feel, right?

I would date them anytime. Given they want to date me, that is. :(
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Calimera II
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Postby Calimera II » Sat Mar 02, 2013 4:51 am

No. It's a male in a identity crisis.

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Jessjohnesik
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Postby Jessjohnesik » Sat Mar 02, 2013 4:53 am

Grenartia wrote:
Jessjohnesik wrote:I wouldn't want to date a guy who was a girl. ;)


Care to tell us why?

I don't know. I just wouldn't. I'd rather date a guy.
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Camelza
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Postby Camelza » Sat Mar 02, 2013 5:16 am

Yes, if she's cute and interesting.

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Tsuntion
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Postby Tsuntion » Sat Mar 02, 2013 5:21 am

Sure. Whether they're a guy or a girl or something else, and whether they've transitioned or not, I'm bi so I don't think I'd see it as an issue. I'd also be fine with them not wanting to have sex if their genitals are still of their birth sex or something.
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Postby Korhodesia » Sat Mar 02, 2013 5:22 am

Well if the transgender person just simply identified themselves as being a different gender and didn't and does not want to get a sex change, then yes I would date that person. If the person did or does want to have a sex change then no I won't date that person.
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