Would you date a transgender?

[The Emerald Dawn]

What part of people being beaten, raped and killed over this stuff do you not get?

You would think some people would realise that your partner telling you that they're trans is actually a fairly huge declaration of their trust in you.

Well, many of the people posting such would not be given that trust.

[Arglorand]

You would think some people would realise that your partner telling you that they're trans is actually a fairly huge declaration of their trust in you.

Well, many of the people posting such would not be given that trust.

Not to mention I'd imagine you'd have to wait quite a while before you earned such trust to begin with.

Relationships need to be built.

[Nadkor]

You would think some people would realise that your partner telling you that they're trans is actually a fairly huge declaration of their trust in you.

Well, many of the people posting such would not be given that trust.

Quite.

[Snafturi]

What part of people being beaten, raped and killed over this stuff do you not get?

You would think some people would realise that your partner telling you that they're trans is actually a fairly huge declaration of their trust in you.

I find it funny that some of the people in this thread who have brought up the whole, "how could they not trust me?" thing also say how upset they'd be to hear that news in the first place.

It's almost as if waiting until you know the person won't lose their shit is a perfectly rational way to behave.

[The Emerald Dawn]

You would think some people would realise that your partner telling you that they're trans is actually a fairly huge declaration of their trust in you.

I find it funny that some of the people in this thread who have brought up the whole, "how could they not trust me?" thing also say how upset they'd be to hear that news in the first place.

It's almost as if waiting until you know the person won't lose their shit is a perfectly rational way to behave.

You're a heretic, you know that?

[Xathranaar]

Fair enough. Just something I'm a bit touchy on, since my girlfriend has to deal with people who do mean that sort of thing badly.

Yeah, if I weren't rushed I'd probably make a better rebuttal post.

Too good for 'em, I say.

[Snafturi]

I find it funny that some of the people in this thread who have brought up the whole, "how could they not trust me?" thing also say how upset they'd be to hear that news in the first place.

It's almost as if waiting until you know the person won't lose their shit is a perfectly rational way to behave.

You're a heretic, you know that?

The Pope is a baboon!


I regret nothing!

[Threlizdun]

I have before and, assuming my fiance kicks me to the curb, would again. In fact, she knows my tastes in women and has asked that, should we ever decide to introduce a third into our relationship, it be a trans.

I have to be honest, I am truly rather suprised that our resident conservative Orthodox would have such views. The acceptance of transgenders I suppose I could see, as your definition of a conservative lifestyle often has actually been far more inclusive than others, though the consideration of practicing polyamory really caught me off guard.

[Umbra Ac Silentium]

I have before and, assuming my fiance kicks me to the curb, would again. In fact, she knows my tastes in women and has asked that, should we ever decide to introduce a third into our relationship, it be a trans.

I have to be honest, I am truly rather suprised that our resident conservative Orthodox would have such views. The acceptance of transgenders I suppose I could see, as your definition of a conservative lifestyle often has actually been far more inclusive than others, though the consideration of practicing polyamory really caught me off guard.

He's explained why before.
I recall him mentioning how transwomen frequently take on traditional female "roles" or something like that.

[Quelesh]

Never really thought about it...but probably not. I want kids at some point, so dating a transgender would be a waste of time.

I hadn't thought about that, but then I'm not too keen on procreating. That said, you could always reproduce some other way (e.g. sperm/egg donation, surrogacy).

Yeah....No.

Heh, heh.

Sorry, I couldn't help but chuckle seeing this post from you.

I won't say anything.

It's called not knowing, which, one could say, ultimately embittered me towards the entire experience. Being lied to sucks.

I understand how you feel, but I wouldn't say that she lied to you. She had a good reason for not telling anyone, and it took no small amount of courage to "come out" on here, even just being online.

Is it okay to call some "a transgender"? Shouldn't you call them a transgender person?

It seems grammatically problematic to me, as "transgender" is an adjective. I'm not sure it can properly be used as a noun.

What the hell are you talking about? Genetic lineage is just about the most important thing in this world. It matter's if a child is mine or not\ because, you know, it would be MINE, a part of me. Just like family members are more important than strangers. That kinda deal. Passing down your family name and genetics is an important goal. Not for everyone, granted, but for many people it is.

How can you even say that it makes no difference if a child is yours or not? Of course it matters...

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2241

almost NONE of you will EVER date a transgender

Unlike most of the rest of your post, this statement is probably true, if only because the occasion will simply never present itself to most, given that most people aren't trans.

Someone who has a criminal record is less likely to be compatible with me.

Gee, it's the exact opposite for me.

You would think some people would realise that your partner telling you that they're trans is actually a fairly huge declaration of their trust in you.

I find it funny that some of the people in this thread who have brought up the whole, "how could they not trust me?" thing also say how upset they'd be to hear that news in the first place.

It's almost as if waiting until you know the person won't lose their shit is a perfectly rational way to behave.

I've only read a minority of pages in this thread (I'm sure not spending hours reading them all), but I've noticed that many who say that not being told is a breach of trust also say that if they were told right away they would not date the person, which leads me to believe that, at least for some of them, it's transsexuality per se that is the determining factor.

[Lantianguo]

I have before and, assuming my fiance kicks me to the curb, would again. In fact, she knows my tastes in women and has asked that, should we ever decide to introduce a third into our relationship, it be a trans.

I have to be honest, I am truly rather suprised that our resident conservative Orthodox would have such views. The acceptance of transgenders I suppose I could see, as your definition of a conservative lifestyle often has actually been far more inclusive than others, though the consideration of practicing polyamory really caught me off guard.

He sounds much more libertarian than conservative to me. A good thing, I might add!

[Jassysworth 1]

[/quote]

I'm sorry but that's not what the OP was asking. Hell if he had asked it that way (''...you meet the woman of your dreams who happens to [be a transexual]...) it would have been VERY BIASED and a stupid question.

Because then the only people who would even have the right to answer this poll would be the type of people for whom it is even remotely possible for their ''dream woman/ideal woman'' to be a transexual.

That does not include myself or most people. For most people, their ''women of their dreams'' and the categorization of ''transsexual'' will be mutually exclusive.

''If you're in a relationship now, and the person you're with turns out to be transgender, would you stay with them?
Or if a transgender person wanted you to date them, would you?''

The bolded are his actual questions and in none of them do you assume that the partner is ''the woman of your dreams'... just someone who is transgender you are ALREADY dating (you didn't know before) OR an openly transgender person who wants to date you.

I agree that you should only be dating people you are interested in but you don't always have the luxury of dating the ''women of your dreams...''

As such, I just don't believe that 40% of people here could really continue to date someone if they suddenly found out she/he was a transgender...

OR that if an openly transgender person came up to them to ask for a date that they could REALLY as human beings be unbiased about that and really keep the option of dating them in the field.

How can you even kiss a woman if you knew he/she had once been a man? It's just... ILL...

[Umbra Ac Silentium]

I'm sorry but that's not what the OP was asking. Hell if he had asked it that way (''...you meet the woman of your dreams who happens to [be a transexual]...) it would have been VERY BIASED and a stupid question.

Because then the only people who would even have the right to answer this poll would be the type of people for whom it is even remotely possible for their ''dream woman/ideal woman'' to be a transexual.

That does not include myself or most people. For most people, their ''women of their dreams'' and the categorization of ''transsexual'' will be mutually exclusive.

The bolded are his actual questions and in none of them do you assume that the partner is ''the woman of your dreams'... just someone who is transgender you are ALREADY dating (you didn't know before) OR an openly transgender person who wants to date you.

I agree that you should only be dating people you are interested in but you don't always have the luxury of dating the ''women of your dreams...''

As such, I just don't believe that 40% of people here could really continue to date someone if they suddenly found out she/he was a transgender...

OR that if an openly transgender person came up to them to ask for a date that they could REALLY as human beings be unbiased about that and really keep the option of dating them in the field.

How can you even kiss a woman if you knew he/she had once been a man? It's just... ILL...

There's your problem.
She's never been a man.
She's just looked like one for a period of her life.

[Desperate Measures]

I'm sorry but that's not what the OP was asking. Hell if he had asked it that way (''...you meet the woman of your dreams who happens to [be a transexual]...) it would have been VERY BIASED and a stupid question.

Because then the only people who would even have the right to answer this poll would be the type of people for whom it is even remotely possible for their ''dream woman/ideal woman'' to be a transexual.

That does not include myself or most people. For most people, their ''women of their dreams'' and the categorization of ''transsexual'' will be mutually exclusive.

''If you're in a relationship now, and the person you're with turns out to be transgender, would you stay with them?
Or if a transgender person wanted you to date them, would you?''

The bolded are his actual questions and in none of them do you assume that the partner is ''the woman of your dreams'... just someone who is transgender you are ALREADY dating (you didn't know before) OR an openly transgender person who wants to date you.

I agree that you should only be dating people you are interested in but you don't always have the luxury of dating the ''women of your dreams...''

As such, I just don't believe that 40% of people here could really continue to date someone if they suddenly found out she/he was a transgender...

OR that if an openly transgender person came up to them to ask for a date that they could REALLY as human beings be unbiased about that and really keep the option of dating them in the field.

How can you even kiss a woman if you knew he/she had once been a man? It's just... ILL...

Falling into the transgender definition, I haven't had any problems getting a date.

[Jassysworth 1]

I'm sorry but that's not what the OP was asking. Hell if he had asked it that way (''...you meet the woman of your dreams who happens to [be a transexual]...) it would have been VERY BIASED and a stupid question.

Because then the only people who would even have the right to answer this poll would be the type of people for whom it is even remotely possible for their ''dream woman/ideal woman'' to be a transexual.

That does not include myself or most people. For most people, their ''women of their dreams'' and the categorization of ''transsexual'' will be mutually exclusive.

The bolded are his actual questions and in none of them do you assume that the partner is ''the woman of your dreams'... just someone who is transgender you are ALREADY dating (you didn't know before) OR an openly transgender person who wants to date you.

I agree that you should only be dating people you are interested in but you don't always have the luxury of dating the ''women of your dreams...''

As such, I just don't believe that 40% of people here could really continue to date someone if they suddenly found out she/he was a transgender...

OR that if an openly transgender person came up to them to ask for a date that they could REALLY as human beings be unbiased about that and really keep the option of dating them in the field.

How can you even kiss a woman if you knew he/she had once been a man? It's just... ILL...

There's your problem.
She's never been a man.
She's just looked like one for a period of her life.

No... he was born a man.

And now he wants to be a woman.

[Urmanian]

How can you even kiss a woman if you knew he/she had once been a man? It's just... ILL...

"I find it icky - thus everyone should think that way!" is, of course, gold medal debating, but if it's your only argument then perhaps you should just stop.

but

1) She has never been a man; she may have had the sexy parts of a man, but she always was a woman;

2) Your repeated claims that trans* persons are disgusting and would never create romantic feelings and sexual desire in other people are frankly offensive, please be considerate to your fellow posters, some of which are trans*.

[Umbra Ac Silentium]

There's your problem.
She's never been a man.
She's just looked like one for a period of her life.

No... he was born a man.

And now he wants to be a woman.

Incorrect.
She's always been a she.
most transgender people report memories of having a problem with their body as back as five. In other words, their earliest memories.
The brain is not the seat of the body. Rather, the other way around.
If the body fails to align with the mind, then there is no fault to be found in correcting that.

[Xathranaar]

There's your problem.
She's never been a man.
She's just looked like one for a period of her life.

No... he was born a man.

And now he wants to be a woman.

Born a man? You saying my bar mitzvah was for nothing?

[Desperate Measures]

No... he was born a man.

And now he wants to be a woman.

Born a man? You saying my bar mitzvah was for nothing?

[YellowApple]

I'm sorry but that's not what the OP was asking. Hell if he had asked it that way (''...you meet the woman of your dreams who happens to [be a transexual]...) it would have been VERY BIASED and a stupid question.

Because then the only people who would even have the right to answer this poll would be the type of people for whom it is even remotely possible for their ''dream woman/ideal woman'' to be a transexual.

Right there, I can tell you might not be reading the OP properly - particularly, this pertinent question:

"If you're in a relationship now, and the person you're with turns out to be transgender, would you stay with them?"

Note that qualifier at the beginning:

"If you're in a relationship now"

Most of the responses in this thread have been pertaining to a significant other who late into an intimate relationship reveals him/herself to be a transgender individual who underwent sex reassignment surgery. Considering that attachment already exists, the scenario is much more testing for an individual (like me) who is normally opposed to being in a relationship with a transgender SO due the desire for having a biological family (which - hopefully - full-reproductive sex reassignment surgery and some gene therapy could enable in the future, allowing me to change my answer to that question from "No" to "Yes").

My own rationale for being open to a relationship with a trans* SO (once the ability for us to create biological and genetic children of our own is medically feasible, that is) is based on a computer programming concept called "duck typing". If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then as far as I'm concerned, it's a duck. Meanwhile, if she looks like a woman, acts like a woman, believes she is a woman, and has the reproductive organs of a woman, then as far as I'm concerned (on a sexual and romantic level), she's a woman, and therefore attractive to a heterosexual male like myself.

[Imperial Nilfgaard]

No.

[Farnhamia]

No.

I bet you wouldn't be able to tell.

[Desperate Measures]

No.

I bet you wouldn't be able to tell.

I wouldn't be so sure. I'm being led to believe there's a species of male that can smell ovaries.

[Stormdawn]

Yeah, if I weren't rushed I'd probably make a better rebuttal post.

Too good for 'em, I say.

Yes, but it would be nice if it were phrased in such a way that it doesn't overlap onto perfectly lovely people...

[Person012345]

How can you even kiss a woman if you knew he/she had once been a man? It's just... ILL...

Not everyone thinks that kissing people of the same sex is necessarily "ill". Whatever you mean by that. Even if they did, who cares. An always-woman was once a child. How can you kiss her knowing she was once a child?