Dating advice... why can I never manage to date girls?

[Astholm]

Following on from viewtopic.php?f=20&t=21609 - I have a similar problem, like the individual who wrote that article.
In my case: I'm 23, enjoying life generally. However, I just can't get into a relationship, never had a girlfriend.
How can I meet nice women who want a relationship? (work is a no-no, it's frowned upon in most places to date employees)
I know the bar/club scene is probably a bad idea.

If I meet a woman, have a conversation with her, and a few weeks down the line once I know her a bit better, some of them say they haven't got a boyfriend [most of the time they say they are in a relationship], but I've no way of verifying whether it's genuine or not. If a woman likes me (which doesn't happen very often) and says they're single, I still have doubts about if they're genuine (is that odd?)

I feel like I have no confidence in having a relationship, I only end up ever being friends with girls. I'm not looking to "get laid" as that's tacky.

I've no idea how to boost my confidence in this area, as I have good social skills, but I feel am very lacking with regard to relationship skills, and I want a relationship simply because I want one, not to "have a girlfriend" or fit in with the crowd.

[Autumn Wind]

some of them say they haven't got a boyfriend [most of the time they say they are in a relationship], but I've no way of verifying whether it's genuine or not.

Hell all with the mind fuck. If she says she's single, ask her out. At least you won't have to spend time wondering what could have been.

BTW: Insecurity is a turn off:

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml

[Yootopia]

How can I meet nice women who want a relationship?

Ring the Ukranian embassy.

[Astholm]

Hell all with the mind fuck. If she says she's single, ask her out. At least you won't have to spend time wondering what could have been.

BTW: Insecurity is a turn off:

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml

It's what they say that's one reason - and this anecdote shows why:

I had a friend, John*, he was friends with this girl for 3 months, asked her out, said she was single, then found out off a third party that she was already in a relationship with
someone else at the time and that he didn't know at all. He thanked his friend and it left him with trust issues regarding women.

* John is a pseudonym.

My friend mentioned in the anecdote above said to me "You can't trust women these days" and it left me thinking the same way...

Ring the Ukranian embassy.

That's not a sensible idea, it's a con a lot of the time. This is a serious discussion, not a free-for-all.

[Sidebody]

Maybe you're putting the pussy on a pedestal

[Maurepas]

They hate your guts, and you should reconsider your sexuality,
(Just kidding)

It happens, you should just be confident and yourself...if you bat 1/100, youre doing pretty well,

I bat maybe 1/500, not good at all, , I find it hard to gauge when a woman is interested, and when she's just being friendly, hardest part of all...

[Yootopia]

Ring the Ukranian embassy.

That's not a sensible idea, it's a con a lot of the time. This is a serious discussion, not a free-for-all.

Good call man, "how do I get fucked more" is going to end up as an incredibly serious thread on NSG, home of reasonable debates etc.

[Lunatic Goofballs]

Women like adventure. Run up to her and in an alarmed and excited voice tell her that her life is in danger. Then throw her off a bridge. When she climbs out of the water, tell her that you mistook her for someone else and she's perfectly safe now. Invite her back to your place for some dry clothes and a home-cooked meal. You're in!

[Neu California]

Double post is double post

[Neu California]

I did find article on MSN a few days ago, which, along with NSG's advice, seems like it'll be very helpful for me at least.

(we'll find out for sure next tuesday)

[Domminus]

Women like adventure. Run up to her and in an alarmed and excited voice tell her that her life is in danger. Then throw her off a bridge. When she climbs out of the water, tell her that you mistook her for someone else and she's perfectly safe now. Invite her back to your place for some dry clothes and a home-cooked meal. You're in!

You just became my favorite person on this whole forum.

[Autumn Wind]

It's what they say that's one reason - and this anecdote shows why:

I had a friend, John*, he was friends with this girl for 3 months, asked her out, said she was single, then found out off a third party that she was already in a relationship with
someone else at the time and that he didn't know at all. He thanked his friend and it left him with trust issues regarding women.

* John is a pseudonym.

My friend mentioned in the anecdote above said to me "You can't trust women these days" and it left me thinking the same way...

Pfft. Relationships are like that sometimes. It's kind of a crap shoot. It's not a matter of how life knocks you down, it's what you learn while picking yourself back up that counts.

If you're not willing to risk being hurt, then really, don't worry about not being in relationships.

Ring the Ukranian embassy.

That's not a sensible idea, it's a con a lot of the time. This is a serious discussion, not a free-for-all.

A) You're right, it' not a good idea. But he was being facetious.
B) This is NSG. It's always a free-for-all.

[Nadkor]

Women like adventure. Run up to her and in an alarmed and excited voice tell her that her life is in danger. Then throw her off a bridge. When she climbs out of the water, tell her that you mistook her for someone else and she's perfectly safe now. Invite her back to your place for some dry clothes and a home-cooked meal. You're in!

If a guy did this to me I don't think I would find it possible to be angry; possibly impressed at the level of effort.

[Poliwanacraca]

Problem number 1: you think of women as a thing to "get."

Problem number 2: you actually seriously consider statements like "you can't trust women these days" instead of laughing at them.

Summation of these problems: you seem not to have fully figured out yet that women are people. Once you master this concept, you'll find that having relationships with them becomes much easier, because it is, rather unsurprisingly, challenging to build a fulfilling relationship with someone you see as an object who shares a hivemind with anyone and everyone with the same chromosomal makeup.

[Poliwanacraca]

Women like adventure. Run up to her and in an alarmed and excited voice tell her that her life is in danger. Then throw her off a bridge. When she climbs out of the water, tell her that you mistook her for someone else and she's perfectly safe now. Invite her back to your place for some dry clothes and a home-cooked meal. You're in!

If a guy did this to me I don't think I would find it possible to be angry; possibly impressed at the level of effort.

I also wouldn't find it possible to be angry, mostly because I would very probably be dead. Therefore, I suggest making very sure the woman in question can swim first.

[The Alma Mater]

You claim you have female friends. Why not ask them instead of strangers on an internet forum ?

Second - stop caring if they lie to you about being single or any of the 7 million other excuses one can come up with. Just see what happens - you cannot predict the future, but you can enjoy the ride.
Oh, and while people always claim that men have "commitment issues" - most women in their early twenties don't like a guy that starts talking about how he wants a committed relationship with them on the first date. Or second date. Just a tip

[Czardas]

Women like adventure. Run up to her and in an alarmed and excited voice tell her that her life is in danger. Then throw her off a bridge. When she climbs out of the water, tell her that you mistook her for someone else and she's perfectly safe now. Invite her back to your place for some dry clothes and a home-cooked meal. You're in!

Bonus points if the dialogue involves this exchange at any point:

"You must come with me at once. You're in great danger!"
"Why?"
"Because I will kill you if you don't!"

[Soviet Commu-Facism]

You should definatly be more confident, but also, I have noticed that all people on earth like a bit of attention. So give them some. I have noticed in my experiences that if you look at a girl's face and smile, good chance they will smile back. Happens a lot of the time with me. If they smile, chances are they are interested. But DO NOT check out their body. If you do that, there is a good chance you will be smacked or hook up with a rather unsavory character. But when you talk to them, talk about them and their interests, it's a good way to get more friendly with them. Oh, and I suggest going for a girl that has similar likes as you and maybe you know a little already. Funny thing is is that I don't have a girlfirend, but I think that's because girls don't want to ask you out, they want you to ask them out.

[Rhodmhire]

Problem number 1: you think of women as a thing to "get."

Usually you strive to get objects.

*rimshot*

[Nadkor]

Women like adventure. Run up to her and in an alarmed and excited voice tell her that her life is in danger. Then throw her off a bridge. When she climbs out of the water, tell her that you mistook her for someone else and she's perfectly safe now. Invite her back to your place for some dry clothes and a home-cooked meal. You're in!

If a guy did this to me I don't think I would find it possible to be angry; possibly impressed at the level of effort.

I also wouldn't find it possible to be angry, mostly because I would very probably be dead. Therefore, I suggest making very sure the woman in question can swim first.

Also make sure it's not a very big bridge. And that it doesn't go over a road instead of a river. Two important things to remember, there.

[Lunatic Goofballs]

Women like adventure. Run up to her and in an alarmed and excited voice tell her that her life is in danger. Then throw her off a bridge. When she climbs out of the water, tell her that you mistook her for someone else and she's perfectly safe now. Invite her back to your place for some dry clothes and a home-cooked meal. You're in!

If a guy did this to me I don't think I would find it possible to be angry; possibly impressed at the level of effort.

I also wouldn't find it possible to be angry, mostly because I would very probably be dead. Therefore, I suggest making very sure the woman in question can swim first.

There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

[Lunatic Goofballs]

Women like adventure. Run up to her and in an alarmed and excited voice tell her that her life is in danger. Then throw her off a bridge. When she climbs out of the water, tell her that you mistook her for someone else and she's perfectly safe now. Invite her back to your place for some dry clothes and a home-cooked meal. You're in!

Bonus points if the dialogue involves this exchange at any point:

"You must come with me at once. You're in great danger!"
"Why?"
"Because I will kill you if you don't!"

Where is that from?

[Czardas]

Problem number 1: you think of women as a thing to "get."

Usually you strive to get objects.

*rimshot*

Women like adventure. Run up to her and in an alarmed and excited voice tell her that her life is in danger. Then throw her off a bridge. When she climbs out of the water, tell her that you mistook her for someone else and she's perfectly safe now. Invite her back to your place for some dry clothes and a home-cooked meal. You're in!

If a guy did this to me I don't think I would find it possible to be angry; possibly impressed at the level of effort.

I also wouldn't find it possible to be angry, mostly because I would very probably be dead. Therefore, I suggest making very sure the woman in question can swim first.

There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

Eh, it's all water under the bridge in the long run.

[Czardas]

Women like adventure. Run up to her and in an alarmed and excited voice tell her that her life is in danger. Then throw her off a bridge. When she climbs out of the water, tell her that you mistook her for someone else and she's perfectly safe now. Invite her back to your place for some dry clothes and a home-cooked meal. You're in!

Bonus points if the dialogue involves this exchange at any point:

"You must come with me at once. You're in great danger!"
"Why?"
"Because I will kill you if you don't!"

Where is that from?

I'm not entirely sure, actually. Could be Discworld, but I think it's older than that.

[Farnhamia]

Women like adventure. Run up to her and in an alarmed and excited voice tell her that her life is in danger. Then throw her off a bridge. When she climbs out of the water, tell her that you mistook her for someone else and she's perfectly safe now. Invite her back to your place for some dry clothes and a home-cooked meal. You're in!

If a guy did this to me I don't think I would find it possible to be angry; possibly impressed at the level of effort.

I also wouldn't find it possible to be angry, mostly because I would very probably be dead. Therefore, I suggest making very sure the woman in question can swim first.

You could make sure it was one of those little bridges like in a park that aren't more than three feet high, and the water no more than a foot deep. I'm a little ssurprised LG didn't suggest pitching her into some mud, instead.