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How would I seek Asylum in Russia as an American?

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Big Jim P
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Postby Big Jim P » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:04 am

Luketopia wrote:Hello, I'm seeking Asylum as an American Citizen to preferably Russia. My reasons are pretty complex as I wish to escape Persecution based on my religion and I sincerely believe that my life is endanger. How would I go about seeking Asylum? Would I just go to the nearest embassy (Washington, DC, 5hours away) or Consulate and just announce my intentions to the ambassador?


What religion is that?
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Dyakovo
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Postby Dyakovo » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:04 am

Dejanic wrote:Perhaps you should explain the situation to us in more detail, because I am curious as to whether this is a genuine case of religious persecution, or one of those "Obama is a muslim who hates us Christians and plans to put us all in fema camps, we're being religiously persecuted" situations.

If it's the former I apologise.

Yes. I require more details of his bullshit story to mock.
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Great Nepal
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Postby Great Nepal » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:05 am

I would say got to embassy/ consulate and fill out whatever form it is and complete procedure for asylum but seeing from your assertion that police are involved in putting your life in danger: I am going to recommend a visiting psychiatrist for paranoia.
Last edited by Great Nepal on Sun Nov 29, 1995 7:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Risottia
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Postby Risottia » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:06 am

Gravlen wrote:
Nadkor wrote:
All the money in my pocket that it's the latter.

There's a monkey in my pocket and it's stealing all my change...

There's a monkey on my shoulder and it stole all of my booze. :shock:

Also, in Russia asylum asks YOU!
Last edited by Risottia on Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Goodclark
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Postby Goodclark » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:07 am

Are you Muslim or Jewish? If not I don't think you have anything to worry about.
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Big Jim P
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Postby Big Jim P » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:07 am

Dejanic wrote:Perhaps you should explain the situation to us in more detail, because I am curious as to whether this is a genuine case of religious persecution, or one of those "Obama is a muslim who hates us Christians and plans to put us all in fema camps, we're being religiously persecuted" situations.

If it's the former I apologise.


I am betting either a Muslim (in which case it is possible he IS being persecuted) or a Xtian with an extreme case of persecution complex.
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Octogots
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Ex-Nation

Postby Octogots » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:09 am

call putin and tell him that the one threatening you insulted him then wait for a few days for the guy to ''have an accident''
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United Dependencies
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Postby United Dependencies » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:13 am

Hello? OP, You there? You're not going to abandon us are you?
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Maybe dragons took their jobs. Maybe unicorns only hid their jobs because unicorns are dicks. Maybe 'jobs' is only an illusion created by a drug addled infant pachyderm. Fuck dude, if we're in 'maybe' land, don't hold back.

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Person012345
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Postby Person012345 » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:13 am

United Dependencies wrote:Hello? OP, You there? You're not going to abandon us are you?

They got to him. :shock:
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Big Jim P
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Postby Big Jim P » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:14 am

Person012345 wrote:
United Dependencies wrote:Hello? OP, You there? You're not going to abandon us are you?

They got to him. :shock:


Yikes! time to start hiding my religious symbols then.
Hail Satan!
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Khadgar
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Postby Khadgar » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:14 am

Person012345 wrote:
United Dependencies wrote:Hello? OP, You there? You're not going to abandon us are you?

They got to him. :shock:


The black helicopters!
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Gravlen
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Postby Gravlen » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:15 am

Risottia wrote:
Gravlen wrote:There's a monkey in my pocket and it's stealing all my change...

There's a monkey on my shoulder and it stole all of my booze. :shock:

Also, in Russia asylum asks YOU!

Your stare is blank and glassy, I suspect you are deranged!
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Big Jim P
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Postby Big Jim P » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:16 am

Khadgar wrote:
Person012345 wrote:They got to him. :shock:


The black helicopters!


Is that all? I thought it was something serious, like maybe UFOs.
Hail Satan!
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Kouralia
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Postby Kouralia » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:17 am

Big Jim P wrote:
Khadgar wrote:
The black helicopters!


Is that all? I thought it was something serious, like maybe UFOs.

D:

Not the UN controlled, Royal Family and Prince Phillip Sponsored, Grey piloted, Kennedy-Killing, Elvis Crew-Chief'd Black Helicopter's of the New World Order!?
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United Dependencies
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Postby United Dependencies » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:18 am

Kouralia wrote:
Big Jim P wrote:
Is that all? I thought it was something serious, like maybe UFOs.

D:

Not the UN controlled, Royal Family and Prince Phillip Sponsored, Grey piloted, Kennedy-Killing, Elvis Crew-Chief'd Black Helicopter's of the New World Order!?

Yea and the Lizard Men Called in the strike.
Alien Space Bats wrote:2012: The Year We Lost Contact (with Reality).

Cannot think of a name wrote:
Obamacult wrote:Maybe there is an economically sound and rational reason why there are no longer high paying jobs for qualified accountants, assembly line workers, glass blowers, blacksmiths, tanners, etc.

Maybe dragons took their jobs. Maybe unicorns only hid their jobs because unicorns are dicks. Maybe 'jobs' is only an illusion created by a drug addled infant pachyderm. Fuck dude, if we're in 'maybe' land, don't hold back.

This is Nationstates we're here to help

Are you a native or resident of North Carolina?
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Big Jim P
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Postby Big Jim P » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:18 am

Kouralia wrote:
Big Jim P wrote:
Is that all? I thought it was something serious, like maybe UFOs.

D:

Not the UN controlled, Royal Family and Prince Phillip Sponsored, Grey piloted, Kennedy-Killing, Elvis Crew-Chief'd Black Helicopter's of the New World Order!?


The Nazi, Jew, lizard-people flying saucers beat them every time.
Hail Satan!
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Esternial
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Postby Esternial » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:20 am

It's pretty easy if you're a rich French guy.

Just tell Putin you're trying to evade taxes. Works every time.
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Kouralia
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Postby Kouralia » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:20 am

Big Jim P wrote:
Kouralia wrote:D:

Not the UN controlled, Royal Family and Prince Phillip Sponsored, Grey piloted, Kennedy-Killing, Elvis Crew-Chief'd Black Helicopter's of the New World Order!?


The Nazi, Jew, lizard-people flying saucers beat them every time.

I do love this conspiricy theory book in my school library. The section on Black Helicopters make them seem bloody hilarious.

"Sometimes people see black helicopters which they cannot hear the rotors of." "Sometimes they move around without any visible reason: moving in paths without seemingly heading towards any local settlement. Othertimes they... hover."

DUN

DUN

DUUUUUUNN!
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Pulaar
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Postby Pulaar » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:22 am

Call the russian embassy.
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Patheon Global Security
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Postby Patheon Global Security » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:22 am

Luketopia wrote:Hello, I'm seeking Asylum as an American Citizen to preferably Russia. My reasons are pretty complex as I wish to escape Persecution based on my religion and I sincerely believe that my life is endanger. How would I go about seeking Asylum? Would I just go to the nearest embassy (Washington, DC, 5hours away) or Consulate and just announce my intentions to the ambassador?

By having more than $1 Million. Oh, and lot's of contacts.
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Furious Grandmothers
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Postby Furious Grandmothers » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:23 am

Goodclark wrote:Are you Muslim or Jewish? If not I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Skimming his posts, he seems like a 15-year old Jewish Caucasian male living on the East Coast and owning a Desert Eagle.
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Des-Bal
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Founded: Jan 24, 2010
Compulsory Consumerist State

Postby Des-Bal » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:24 am

Big Jim P wrote:TheNazi, Jew, lizard-people flying saucers beat them every time.


He's claimed to be the chairman of the American Nazi Party.
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Kouralia
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Democratic Socialists

Postby Kouralia » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:25 am

Furious Grandmothers wrote:
Goodclark wrote:Are you Muslim or Jewish? If not I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Skimming his posts, he seems like a 15-year old Jewish Caucasian male living on the East Coast and owning a Desert Eagle.

Ah, I can see now. He's afraid that the nearest gun-fan will come around and murder him for being silly enough to buy a DEagle (if it's in .50AE).
Kouralia:
Me:
20s, Male,
Britbong, Bi,
Atheist, Cop
Sadly ginger.
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Yorkopolis
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Founded: Jul 28, 2011
Ex-Nation

Postby Yorkopolis » Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:27 am

Kouralia wrote:
Big Jim P wrote:
Is that all? I thought it was something serious, like maybe UFOs.

D:

Not the UN controlled, Royal Family and Prince Phillip Sponsored, Grey piloted, Kennedy-Killing, Elvis Crew-Chief'd Black Helicopter's of the New World Order!?

Ohman. Not those again! I still have nightmares of last time I saw one of those. D:
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