Approaching people

[United Dependencies]

Some possibilities:

"Hi, did you understand that thing the professor was talking about today? I thought it was confusing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, wasn't that joke the professor told today great? I love profs who can actually be funny while they're lecturing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I missed last week's class and I don't really know anyone here. I was wondering if you could tell me what the lecture was about. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I just wanted to say that that was a really interesting question you asked in class today. I hadn't thought of that before. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, this may sound weird, but you look a LOT like a girl I used to go to elementary school with. You don't have a sister named [made-up name], do you? No? Heh, oh well. Anyway, my name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, your shirt/dress/scarf/hat is really pretty. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I noticed you were carrying [any book you see her carrying]. One of my friends was just reading that the other day - is it good? My name's [name] - what's yours?"

Et cetera. It really doesn't matter what topic of conversation you start with - just ask her a polite question or comment and follow it up with an introduction. If that little conversation goes well, next time you see her, you can jump right in with, "Hi, [her name]! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to study for the test together?" or something to that effect.

mind if I borrow this list?

[Neu California]

Some possibilities:

"Hi, did you understand that thing the professor was talking about today? I thought it was confusing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, wasn't that joke the professor told today great? I love profs who can actually be funny while they're lecturing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I missed last week's class and I don't really know anyone here. I was wondering if you could tell me what the lecture was about. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I just wanted to say that that was a really interesting question you asked in class today. I hadn't thought of that before. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, this may sound weird, but you look a LOT like a girl I used to go to elementary school with. You don't have a sister named [made-up name], do you? No? Heh, oh well. Anyway, my name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, your shirt/dress/scarf/hat is really pretty. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I noticed you were carrying [any book you see her carrying]. One of my friends was just reading that the other day - is it good? My name's [name] - what's yours?"

Et cetera. It really doesn't matter what topic of conversation you start with - just ask her a polite question or comment and follow it up with an introduction. If that little conversation goes well, next time you see her, you can jump right in with, "Hi, [her name]! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to study for the test together?" or something to that effect.

Only issue: I see her before class, not after (and I'm always the fourth one to arrive, so I can't hide behind no. 4)

[Poliwanacraca]

Some possibilities:

"Hi, did you understand that thing the professor was talking about today? I thought it was confusing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, wasn't that joke the professor told today great? I love profs who can actually be funny while they're lecturing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I missed last week's class and I don't really know anyone here. I was wondering if you could tell me what the lecture was about. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I just wanted to say that that was a really interesting question you asked in class today. I hadn't thought of that before. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, this may sound weird, but you look a LOT like a girl I used to go to elementary school with. You don't have a sister named [made-up name], do you? No? Heh, oh well. Anyway, my name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, your shirt/dress/scarf/hat is really pretty. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I noticed you were carrying [any book you see her carrying]. One of my friends was just reading that the other day - is it good? My name's [name] - what's yours?"

Et cetera. It really doesn't matter what topic of conversation you start with - just ask her a polite question or comment and follow it up with an introduction. If that little conversation goes well, next time you see her, you can jump right in with, "Hi, [her name]! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to study for the test together?" or something to that effect.

mind if I borrow this list?

Not at all.

[United Dependencies]

Some possibilities:

"Hi, did you understand that thing the professor was talking about today? I thought it was confusing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, wasn't that joke the professor told today great? I love profs who can actually be funny while they're lecturing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I missed last week's class and I don't really know anyone here. I was wondering if you could tell me what the lecture was about. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I just wanted to say that that was a really interesting question you asked in class today. I hadn't thought of that before. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, this may sound weird, but you look a LOT like a girl I used to go to elementary school with. You don't have a sister named [made-up name], do you? No? Heh, oh well. Anyway, my name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, your shirt/dress/scarf/hat is really pretty. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I noticed you were carrying [any book you see her carrying]. One of my friends was just reading that the other day - is it good? My name's [name] - what's yours?"

Et cetera. It really doesn't matter what topic of conversation you start with - just ask her a polite question or comment and follow it up with an introduction. If that little conversation goes well, next time you see her, you can jump right in with, "Hi, [her name]! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to study for the test together?" or something to that effect.

mind if I borrow this list?

Not at all.

Thanks, now there's just the problem of my nerves.

[Poliwanacraca]

Some possibilities:

"Hi, did you understand that thing the professor was talking about today? I thought it was confusing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, wasn't that joke the professor told today great? I love profs who can actually be funny while they're lecturing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I missed last week's class and I don't really know anyone here. I was wondering if you could tell me what the lecture was about. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I just wanted to say that that was a really interesting question you asked in class today. I hadn't thought of that before. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, this may sound weird, but you look a LOT like a girl I used to go to elementary school with. You don't have a sister named [made-up name], do you? No? Heh, oh well. Anyway, my name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, your shirt/dress/scarf/hat is really pretty. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I noticed you were carrying [any book you see her carrying]. One of my friends was just reading that the other day - is it good? My name's [name] - what's yours?"

Et cetera. It really doesn't matter what topic of conversation you start with - just ask her a polite question or comment and follow it up with an introduction. If that little conversation goes well, next time you see her, you can jump right in with, "Hi, [her name]! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to study for the test together?" or something to that effect.

Only issue: I see her before class, not after (and I'm always the fourth one to arrive, so I can't hide behind no. 4)

Well, you're not supposed to try ALL of them, anyway.

[NERVUN]

Some possibilities:

"Hi, did you understand that thing the professor was talking about today? I thought it was confusing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, wasn't that joke the professor told today great? I love profs who can actually be funny while they're lecturing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I missed last week's class and I don't really know anyone here. I was wondering if you could tell me what the lecture was about. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I just wanted to say that that was a really interesting question you asked in class today. I hadn't thought of that before. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, this may sound weird, but you look a LOT like a girl I used to go to elementary school with. You don't have a sister named [made-up name], do you? No? Heh, oh well. Anyway, my name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, your shirt/dress/scarf/hat is really pretty. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I noticed you were carrying [any book you see her carrying]. One of my friends was just reading that the other day - is it good? My name's [name] - what's yours?"

Et cetera. It really doesn't matter what topic of conversation you start with - just ask her a polite question or comment and follow it up with an introduction. If that little conversation goes well, next time you see her, you can jump right in with, "Hi, [her name]! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to study for the test together?" or something to that effect.

Only issue: I see her before class, not after (and I'm always the fourth one to arrive, so I can't hide behind no. 4)

Then ask about the pervious class. Or perhaps ask if she did the reading assignment and what she thought about it.

[Dyakovo]

*snip long OPquote]
Ya know, the best opening line is "Hi".

Yes, that would work, but then what?

Seriously, I'm not trying to be an asshole, it's just that I have next to no experience in this sort of thing (never really having a desire for friends)

Ask her to lunch, while at lunch (assuming she says yes) ask her about herself.

[Dyakovo]

Some possibilities:

"Hi, did you understand that thing the professor was talking about today? I thought it was confusing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, wasn't that joke the professor told today great? I love profs who can actually be funny while they're lecturing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I missed last week's class and I don't really know anyone here. I was wondering if you could tell me what the lecture was about. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I just wanted to say that that was a really interesting question you asked in class today. I hadn't thought of that before. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, this may sound weird, but you look a LOT like a girl I used to go to elementary school with. You don't have a sister named [made-up name], do you? No? Heh, oh well. Anyway, my name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, your shirt/dress/scarf/hat is really pretty. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I noticed you were carrying [any book you see her carrying]. One of my friends was just reading that the other day - is it good? My name's [name] - what's yours?"

Et cetera. It really doesn't matter what topic of conversation you start with - just ask her a polite question or comment and follow it up with an introduction. If that little conversation goes well, next time you see her, you can jump right in with, "Hi, [her name]! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to study for the test together?" or something to that effect.

And can't leave out: "Hi, want to fuck?"

[Neu California]

Some possibilities:

"Hi, did you understand that thing the professor was talking about today? I thought it was confusing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, wasn't that joke the professor told today great? I love profs who can actually be funny while they're lecturing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I missed last week's class and I don't really know anyone here. I was wondering if you could tell me what the lecture was about. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I just wanted to say that that was a really interesting question you asked in class today. I hadn't thought of that before. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, this may sound weird, but you look a LOT like a girl I used to go to elementary school with. You don't have a sister named [made-up name], do you? No? Heh, oh well. Anyway, my name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, your shirt/dress/scarf/hat is really pretty. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I noticed you were carrying [any book you see her carrying]. One of my friends was just reading that the other day - is it good? My name's [name] - what's yours?"

Et cetera. It really doesn't matter what topic of conversation you start with - just ask her a polite question or comment and follow it up with an introduction. If that little conversation goes well, next time you see her, you can jump right in with, "Hi, [her name]! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to study for the test together?" or something to that effect.

Only issue: I see her before class, not after (and I'm always the fourth one to arrive, so I can't hide behind no. 4)

Well, you're not supposed to try ALL of them, anyway.

oops, lol. *rereads* They look good, though the Elementry school one doesnt' quite work, since I sppressed all pre-2005 memories long ago. Asking about her jacket might be good (though I have to wait 'til it's cold again, instead of cool)

Then ask about the pervious class. Or perhaps ask if she did the reading assignment and what she thought about it.

Previous class? at 8AM? No one's on campus before 7:15. And reading assignments would only work if I had to read.

[NERVUN]

Then ask about the pervious class. Or perhaps ask if she did the reading assignment and what she thought about it.

Previous class? at 8AM? No one's on campus before 7:15. And reading assignments would only work if I had to read.

Pervious as in the last class you had together, whatever day that was.

[Neu California]

Then ask about the pervious class. Or perhaps ask if she did the reading assignment and what she thought about it.

Previous class? at 8AM? No one's on campus before 7:15. And reading assignments would only work if I had to read.

Pervious as in the last class you had together, whatever day that was.

tomorrow I'm going to look at this thread and wonder what the fuck I was on. all these misunderstandings
Oops. lol

[H N Fiddlebottoms VIII]

Find her on her way home and ask her about her sideways asian vagina.

That hardly seems appropriate...

Maybe I've been watching too much anime, but it seems tame, almost; rape seems to be the way you say hello in Japan.

Asian=/=Japanese. Most Asians are Chinese, so that's what you should always assume until someone has produced a detailed genealogy. In China, one says hello by taking away the other person's civil rights. Then you exchange business cards and smoke.

[Barringtonia]

Where's she from, is she Asian-American?

You could try learning a bit of her language and saying 'Hello' in that, then seek to practice with her.

If not, and if that's a little patronising, then still, the theory is simply to actually learn a little about her, see what her interests are and exploit leverage that.

[Neu California]

Where's she from, is she Asian-American?

You could try learning a bit of her language and saying 'Hello' in that, then seek to practice with her.

If not, and if that's a little patronising, then still, the theory is simply to actually learn a little about her, see what her interests are and exploit leverage that.

If I don't know?

[Lackadaisical2]

Et cetera. It really doesn't matter what topic of conversation you start with - just ask her a polite question or comment and follow it up with an introduction. If that little conversation goes well, next time you see her, you can jump right in with, "Hi, [her name]! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to study for the test together?" or something to that effect.

thats a good one, especially, I think anyway if you can help her out. then you can do homework together, etc. Doing work together is a great way to get to know the person with little pressure to bring up topics. Just talk about the work, and whatever comes up naturally.

If she thinks your cool, eventually there will be some party you'll get invited to, or one you can invite her to. Add some alcohol, and there you go, easy chance to ask her out for real, and an easy excuse if things turn badly...

EDIT: being able to meet girls is a good reason to make friends with guys. Guys will have friends that are girls that they're not dating, eventually you may meet one you like. Most of Poli's suggestions were pretty good. Maybe I'm not as socially maladjusted as you, but I normally have problems with girls. Just treat them like you would treat anyone else, and I think you'll have a much better chance than making a big deal out of it.

[Barringtonia]

Where's she from, is she Asian-American?

You could try learning a bit of her language and saying 'Hello' in that, then seek to practice with her.

If not, and if that's a little patronising, then still, the theory is simply to actually learn a little about her, see what her interests are and exploit leverage that.

If I don't know?

Ask around, the mere fact you're asking might even get back to her and at least let her know you're curious.

The main thing is that by discovering something about her, you're saying you're interested in who she is not what she is.

Even if it's a particular band, 'Hey, you like [insert band]? I've heard of them but....'

Where you're nervous, it's no bad thing to be honest, 'Hey, I'm totally nervous asking this but...'

[Neu California]

Et cetera. It really doesn't matter what topic of conversation you start with - just ask her a polite question or comment and follow it up with an introduction. If that little conversation goes well, next time you see her, you can jump right in with, "Hi, [her name]! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to study for the test together?" or something to that effect.

thats a good one, especially, I think anyway if you can help her out. then you can do homework together, etc. Doing work together is a great way to get to know the person with little pressure to bring up topics. Just talk about the work, and whatever comes up naturally.

If she thinks your cool, eventually there will be some party you'll get invited to, or one you can invite her to. Add some alcohol, and there you go, easy chance to ask her out for real, and an easy excuse if things turn badly...

That would be great, except me+party=me in downward spiral to a breakdown

[Lackadaisical2]

Et cetera. It really doesn't matter what topic of conversation you start with - just ask her a polite question or comment and follow it up with an introduction. If that little conversation goes well, next time you see her, you can jump right in with, "Hi, [her name]! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to study for the test together?" or something to that effect.

thats a good one, especially, I think anyway if you can help her out. then you can do homework together, etc. Doing work together is a great way to get to know the person with little pressure to bring up topics. Just talk about the work, and whatever comes up naturally.

If she thinks your cool, eventually there will be some party you'll get invited to, or one you can invite her to. Add some alcohol, and there you go, easy chance to ask her out for real, and an easy excuse if things turn badly...

That would be great, except me+party=me in downward spiral to a breakdown

hm... what kind of a break down, and why?

[Greed and Death]

(since NSG is apparently in a helpful mood)

Okay, in my college psychology class, there's this cute asian girl that I like (well two, but the latter always arrrives after the professor, thus making her silly inconvenient to talk to, especially because I'm starving by the end, meaning a beeline for the cafeteria), but, since I have Asperger's, my social skills (and any confidence in them, which is the real issue) are pretty poor. Also helpful is the fact that I don't know her name, whether she has a boyfriend, or anything like that. All I do know is she's cute, asian, and gets a ride to the college.

I thought about asking about her grade on the last test, but was afraid of sounding like an overachieving prick (I missed 2 out of 50, and the class average was about 50% correct), and I've already almost made myself seem a bit like a creep, bytaking quick but noticable glances at her (that was an easy fix, I just looked over to the parking lot to see if the prof. was coming, in order to keep her from thinking that, when she suspected, since both involved turning my head left), so I ask, how should I go about meeting her without seriously embarrasing myself, or getting off on the wrong foot? Just, please keep it serious, if at all possible(I know that it's not for some), or humorous if not.

My brother has Asperger's. It takes time and effort for you to learn to be social.
the trick is while your talking to her tell yourself you don't care if this doesn't work.

The solution is just talk to her. Things might no go well the first time you try to talk to a girl.

The best way to do it is set up goals for each conversation.

First conversation the goal is to get her number.

2nd conversation(on the phone) meet her for coffee.

3rd conversation(over conversation) a date.

She is Asian so depending on her parents she might not mind a shy guy, and like a academic achiever, so comparing test scores might work. Maybe say something like her comments/questions in class are insightful is why you want to compare test scores.

I recommend trying to start your conversation toward the end of class. It is kinda awkward to be sitting there after making a movie for the entire class.



Remember you don't really like her yet, you don't know her. Talk to her to get to know her, then decide if you like her or not.

[Neu California]

Et cetera. It really doesn't matter what topic of conversation you start with - just ask her a polite question or comment and follow it up with an introduction. If that little conversation goes well, next time you see her, you can jump right in with, "Hi, [her name]! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to study for the test together?" or something to that effect.

thats a good one, especially, I think anyway if you can help her out. then you can do homework together, etc. Doing work together is a great way to get to know the person with little pressure to bring up topics. Just talk about the work, and whatever comes up naturally.

If she thinks your cool, eventually there will be some party you'll get invited to, or one you can invite her to. Add some alcohol, and there you go, easy chance to ask her out for real, and an easy excuse if things turn badly...

That would be great, except me+party=me in downward spiral to a breakdown

hm... what kind of a break down, and why?

The kind where I just feel like I'm suffocating, and because being around large groups of people for too long brings out a hell of a stress reaction from me, given enough time. Or enough people bothering me

Ask around, the mere fact you're asking might even get back to her and at least let her know you're curious.

The main thing is that by discovering something about her, you're saying you're interested in who she is not what she is.

Even if it's a particular band, 'Hey, you like [insert band]? I've heard of them but....'

Where you're nervous, it's no bad thing to be honest, 'Hey, I'm totally nervous asking this but...'

Except I don't know of anyone talking to her. She keeps to herself almost as much as I do (aside from the occasional text)

Note for tomorrow: I'm high on caffeine

[Lackadaisical2]

Et cetera. It really doesn't matter what topic of conversation you start with - just ask her a polite question or comment and follow it up with an introduction. If that little conversation goes well, next time you see her, you can jump right in with, "Hi, [her name]! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to study for the test together?" or something to that effect.

thats a good one, especially, I think anyway if you can help her out. then you can do homework together, etc. Doing work together is a great way to get to know the person with little pressure to bring up topics. Just talk about the work, and whatever comes up naturally.

If she thinks your cool, eventually there will be some party you'll get invited to, or one you can invite her to. Add some alcohol, and there you go, easy chance to ask her out for real, and an easy excuse if things turn badly...

That would be great, except me+party=me in downward spiral to a breakdown

hm... what kind of a break down, and why?

The kind where I just feel like I'm suffocating, and because being around large groups of people for too long brings out a hell of a stress reaction from me, given enough time. Or enough people bothering me

Ask around, the mere fact you're asking might even get back to her and at least let her know you're curious.

The main thing is that by discovering something about her, you're saying you're interested in who she is not what she is.

Even if it's a particular band, 'Hey, you like [insert band]? I've heard of them but....'

Where you're nervous, it's no bad thing to be honest, 'Hey, I'm totally nervous asking this but...'

Except I don't know of anyone talking to her. She keeps to herself almost as much as I do (aside from the occasional text)

Note for tomorrow: I'm high on caffeine

i see, yeah you're definitely a bit beyond me as far as social awkwardness goes. The only worrying thing is that she gets picked up by someone everyday. At any rate, remember that you don't know shit about her, and she could turn out to be a person you won't like anyway, you really have absolutely ntohing to lose in going for it.

[New Olwe]

Any suggestions on what to write? (Neu California ignores the issue of his semi-legible handwriting, because he has a printer)

Unfortunately my advice on this will be a bit skewed toward the extreme... what worked to land me a girl was "I think I'm in love with you", which is a pretty extravagant thing to say to a total stranger and will likely scare her off. So yeah, no more help from me.

[RightLeaningChristians]

"Hello. I was stalking you from you home this morning and I couldn't help but notice that-."

[Neu California]

"Hello. I was stalking you from you home this morning and I couldn't help but notice that-."

I feel really guilty for laughing at that.

[Smunkeeville]

I tend to say something like "hey, I've noticed you around, but I don't think I've introduced myself" and take it from there. Just muster up enough courage not to vomit on her and you're golden. Ask more questions than you answer, but make sure they are the right kinds of questions (what are you majoring in?, how do you like this school?, are you from around here?) as opposed to the wrong ones (can I have some of your hair?, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?, have you ever given a blow job in class?)