Approaching people

[Tunizcha]

You might have a point if we weren't locked out of the classroom for 5 to 15 minutes (depending on how long I stay in my car and when she arrives).

Anyway, it's going to be a cold day tomorrow (73 degree high is cold here, which shows how wimpy we are), so I may yet have something to turn to my advantage. We'll see. We shall see.

If you think that 23°C is cold, then you've got thin blood. I consider that to be close to the upper limit of a comfortable outside temperature, if it's sunny.

70 degrees Fahrenheit is very warm for me.

[Neu California]

You might have a point if we weren't locked out of the classroom for 5 to 15 minutes (depending on how long I stay in my car and when she arrives).

Anyway, it's going to be a cold day tomorrow (73 degree high is cold here, which shows how wimpy we are), so I may yet have something to turn to my advantage. We'll see. We shall see.

If you think that 23°C is cold, then you've got thin blood. I consider that to be close to the upper limit of a comfortable outside temperature, if it's sunny.

70 degrees Fahrenheit is very warm for me.

You would never last in the Inland Empire

[Barzan]

70 degrees Fahrenheit is very warm for me.

I heard that.

[Hamilay]

Just talk about asian culture or something similar, if she takes against you for something like that, she's not worth it.

Lol, no.

[Fascist Dominion]

*Almost prints this out, before realizing the printer is out of paper. Is too lazy to get some*

And it's good that this got bumped tot he first page today (though I rebumped it) because I see her again tomorrow.

Any advice on how to take care of negative thoughts like "Oh, she'll be boring" or "she won't be that into me," or "she already has a boyfriend" (none of which I know for sure)

It's too late now, but in the future it's perhaps best to have no expectations and a moderate amount of curiosity when approaching new people. It's never too late to learn a sense of disgust for them, though.

Cold is mid-70's...? Ew. I don't get cold until the mid-40's.

[Neu California]

Well either:

A. She grew about an inch, along with her hair (which also turned brown) in 5 days, and got a ride in a Dodge Caliber (instead of the Beamer she usually comes in) OR
B. She was a no-show

Which do you think is more likely?

Admittedly I didn't see the face of the person who was standing in her usual spot.

[Rikese]

(since NSG is apparently in a helpful mood)

Okay, in my college psychology class, there's this cute asian girl that I like (well two, but the latter always arrrives after the professor, thus making her silly inconvenient to talk to, especially because I'm starving by the end, meaning a beeline for the cafeteria), but, since I have Asperger's, my social skills (and any confidence in them, which is the real issue) are pretty poor. Also helpful is the fact that I don't know her name, whether she has a boyfriend, or anything like that. All I do know is she's cute, asian, and gets a ride to the college.

I thought about asking about her grade on the last test, but was afraid of sounding like an overachieving prick (I missed 2 out of 50, and the class average was about 50% correct), and I've already almost made myself seem a bit like a creep, bytaking quick but noticable glances at her (that was an easy fix, I just looked over to the parking lot to see if the prof. was coming, in order to keep her from thinking that, when she suspected, since both involved turning my head left), so I ask, how should I go about meeting her without seriously embarrasing myself, or getting off on the wrong foot? Just, please keep it serious, if at all possible(I know that it's not for some), or humorous if not.

Whip it out and break dance.

[Neu California]

(since NSG is apparently in a helpful mood)

Okay, in my college psychology class, there's this cute asian girl that I like (well two, but the latter always arrrives after the professor, thus making her silly inconvenient to talk to, especially because I'm starving by the end, meaning a beeline for the cafeteria), but, since I have Asperger's, my social skills (and any confidence in them, which is the real issue) are pretty poor. Also helpful is the fact that I don't know her name, whether she has a boyfriend, or anything like that. All I do know is she's cute, asian, and gets a ride to the college.

I thought about asking about her grade on the last test, but was afraid of sounding like an overachieving prick (I missed 2 out of 50, and the class average was about 50% correct), and I've already almost made myself seem a bit like a creep, bytaking quick but noticable glances at her (that was an easy fix, I just looked over to the parking lot to see if the prof. was coming, in order to keep her from thinking that, when she suspected, since both involved turning my head left), so I ask, how should I go about meeting her without seriously embarrasing myself, or getting off on the wrong foot? Just, please keep it serious, if at all possible(I know that it's not for some), or humorous if not.

Whip it out and break dance.

White guys can't dance, Remember? Yes, I'm a white guy

[Czardas]

I've found that asking some questions of the other person tends to be helpful in general, for starting conversations (no matter where you intend them to lead). For instance, "Do you have a weasel?" is a great way to break the ice; people love talking about their pets. Other popular topics are the weather (good opening line: "I heard that it's raining. Is it raining? I mean, outside."), health ("Did you know that swine flu is so contagious, you can get it just by sitting in the same room as an infected person? I didn't know until my doctor told me."), and food ("Food is tasty. Do you want to go eat some food? With me? Or, I mean, maybe by yourself also."), which may be combined as well, e.g. "Have you heard about the spaghetti epidemic going around lately? My granddad died of spaghetti. There was a tornado."

[Neu California]

I've found that asking some questions of the other person tends to be helpful in general, for starting conversations (no matter where you intend them to lead). For instance, "Do you have a weasel?" is a great way to break the ice; people love talking about their pets. Other popular topics are the weather (good opening line: "I heard that it's raining. Is it raining? I mean, outside."), health ("Did you know that swine flu is so contagious, you can get it just by sitting in the same room as an infected person? I didn't know until my doctor told me."), and food ("Food is tasty. Do you want to go eat some food? With me? Or, I mean, maybe by yourself also."), which may be combined as well, e.g. "Have you heard about the spaghetti epidemic going around lately? My granddad died of spaghetti. There was a tornado."

Best combination of advice and humor I have ever seen

We shall see next week. I'm even less of a talker before a test than I usually am, so thursday is unlikely

[Neu California]

*Almost prints this out, before realizing the printer is out of paper. Is too lazy to get some*

And it's good that this got bumped tot he first page today (though I rebumped it) because I see her again tomorrow.

Any advice on how to take care of negative thoughts like "Oh, she'll be boring" or "she won't be that into me," or "she already has a boyfriend" (none of which I know for sure)

It's too late now,

Or not. Those thoughts disappeared into something akin to apathy. This I can use.

[Barzan]

Well, is there another girl in another class -- that doesn't also have class with the girl you like -- that you can ask out? Maybe your second choice? It's practice...

But don't start hitting-up all the girls in your one class.

[Neu California]

Well, is there another girl in another class -- that doesn't also have class with the girl you like -- that you can ask out? Maybe your second choice? It's practice...

But don't start hitting-up all the girls in your one class.

This proves I should think more about my wording before posting. What I meant is I've got the attitude of "let's go for it. It doesn't matter what happens" which somehow translated to apathy in my brain.

I'll probably wait for her after the test on thursday (if she shows up), and approach her then. Since we are allowed to leave when we're done with the test, and I can find some excuse to hang out outside of the classroom.

Edit: more wording issues

[Barzan]

Well you should try to ask lots of girls out regardless, because it gives you practice and it is a numbers game. Just don't be all over girls in one class or they'll talk. You do need to find a good medium, though. Not apathy, but not "OMG if she doesn't say yes the world is over!" either. Again, approach her with the initial intent of being her friend. Sure, you probably want to sleep with her at some point, but you have to be her friend first -- until you get a date and work into being closer and more than "friends". But don't get too ahead of yourself or start making grand plans of being married and stuff at this point. If it were me, I'd be: "I'd love to be with her, but if this doesn't work-out, then I can chat-up that other cutie in my next class."

[Neu California]

Well you should try to ask lots of girls out regardless, because it gives you practice and it is a numbers game. Just don't be all over girls in one class or they'll talk. You do need to find a good medium, though. Not apathy, but not "OMG if she doesn't say yes the world is over!" either. Again, approach her with the initial intent of being her friend. Sure, you probably want to sleep with her at some point, but you have to be her friend first -- until you get a date and work into being closer and more than "friends". But don't get too ahead of yourself or start making grand plans of being married and stuff at this point. If it were me, I'd be: "I'd love to be with her, but if this doesn't work-out, then I can chat-up that other cutie in my next class."

Sounds like me to begin with. (aside from talking to multiple people)

[Barzan]

Sounds like me to begin with. (aside from talking to multiple people)

Well then get into the talking mode. Not necessarily with the goal of banging them, but just to make friends and to become less afraid of talking to strangers. Beautiful girls can be nice, sweet, and fun -- they don't all bite.

[Diamagra]

Sounds like me to begin with. (aside from talking to multiple people)

Well then get into the talking mode. Not necessarily with the goal of banging them, but just to make friends and to become less afraid of talking to strangers. Beautiful girls can be nice, sweet, and fun -- they don't all bite.

Some do. *nods*



@Neu California: Waiting for an update!

[Neu California]

Well either:

A. She grew about an inch, along with her hair (which also turned brown) in 5 days, and got a ride in a Dodge Caliber (instead of the Beamer she usually comes in) OR
B. She was a no-show

Which do you think is more likely?

Admittedly I didn't see the face of the person who was standing in her usual spot.

^^^update

[Barzan]

Hey Neu California, I assume you have class with your crush again today. Let us know how it goes, and don't be afraid to try someone in a different class. Remember, it's a numbers game like the lottery -- they more tickets you buy the better your chances of winning.

[Neu California]

Yeah, my other class has mostly blondes, which appeal to me not at all.

Anyway, today's attempt went awry due to weather. I was the first one done with the test, which meant I was the first one out of the classroom,m so I went to the bathroom, went to get a soda, found the machine broken, stood around for ten minutes, and left after it felt like I was going to get frostbite in my ballsack (just as much fun as it sounds). Of course it was in the 50s with a windchill in the 40s.

[Barzan]

Yeah, my other class has mostly blondes, which appeal to me not at all.

Anyway, today's attempt went awry due to weather. I was the first one done with the test, which meant I was the first one out of the classroom,m so I went to the bathroom, went to get a soda, found the machine broken, stood around for ten minutes, and left after it felt like I was going to get frostbite in my ballsack (just as much fun as it sounds). Of course it was in the 50s with a windchill in the 40s.

What other kinds of girls do you like then? Does not liking blondes cut your choices a lot where you live? May I ask why you don't like blondes (i.e. is it the look you find just doesn't "do it" for you or have you had bad experiences with them?)

[Neu California]

I like darker haired lighter skinned women, because for some reason, women with flesh colored hair (or nearly so) don't quite work for me

[The Blaatschapen]

I've found that asking some questions of the other person tends to be helpful in general, for starting conversations (no matter where you intend them to lead). For instance, "Do you have a weasel?" is a great way to break the ice; people love talking about their pets. Other popular topics are the weather (good opening line: "I heard that it's raining. Is it raining? I mean, outside."), health ("Did you know that swine flu is so contagious, you can get it just by sitting in the same room as an infected person? I didn't know until my doctor told me."), and food ("Food is tasty. Do you want to go eat some food? With me? Or, I mean, maybe by yourself also."), which may be combined as well, e.g. "Have you heard about the spaghetti epidemic going around lately? My granddad died of spaghetti. There was a tornado."

I always ask "Do you have a beaver?", yet it somehow never works out What's with the double standard, beavers are animals too

[Fascist Dominion]

Yeah, my other class has mostly blondes, which appeal to me not at all.

Anyway, today's attempt went awry due to weather. I was the first one done with the test, which meant I was the first one out of the classroom,m so I went to the bathroom, went to get a soda, found the machine broken, stood around for ten minutes, and left after it felt like I was going to get frostbite in my ballsack (just as much fun as it sounds). Of course it was in the 50s with a windchill in the 40s.

Is that to say the freezing point of your tissues, which largely contain water, is quite above that of water? o.O

[Port Arcana]

I read through the entire post, and I think I've been in situations like yours before. Think about it this way, if you don't ever talk to the girl, your chances of dating her is 0%, the worst that could happen is if she says no, and then you move on and find someone else. If you do talk to her, your chances of dating her is well... a chance.

If you risk nothing, you gain nothing. Better to ask her out and get rejected than not even try.