Approaching people

[Neu California]

(since NSG is apparently in a helpful mood)

Okay, in my college psychology class, there's this cute asian girl that I like (well two, but the latter always arrrives after the professor, thus making her silly inconvenient to talk to, especially because I'm starving by the end, meaning a beeline for the cafeteria), but, since I have Asperger's, my social skills (and any confidence in them, which is the real issue) are pretty poor. Also helpful is the fact that I don't know her name, whether she has a boyfriend, or anything like that. All I do know is she's cute, asian, and gets a ride to the college.

I thought about asking about her grade on the last test, but was afraid of sounding like an overachieving prick (I missed 2 out of 50, and the class average was about 50% correct), and I've already almost made myself seem a bit like a creep, bytaking quick but noticable glances at her (that was an easy fix, I just looked over to the parking lot to see if the prof. was coming, in order to keep her from thinking that, when she suspected, since both involved turning my head left), so I ask, how should I go about meeting her without seriously embarrasing myself, or getting off on the wrong foot? Just, please keep it serious, if at all possible(I know that it's not for some), or humorous if not.

[Kobrania]

(since NSG is apparently in a helpful mood)

Okay, in my college psychology class, there's this cute asian girl that I like (well two, but the latter always arrrives after the professor, thus making her silly inconvenient to talk to, especially because I'm starving by the end, meaning a beeline for the cafeteria), but, since I have Asperger's, my social skills (and any confidence in them, which is the real issue) are pretty poor. Also helpful is the fact that I don't know her name, whether she has a boyfriend, or anything like that. All I do know is she's cute, asian, and gets a ride to the college.

I thought about asking about her grade on the last test, but was afraid of sounding like an overachieving prick (I missed 2 out of 50, and the class average was about 50% correct), and I've already almost made myself seem a bit like a creep, bytaking quick but noticable glances at her (that was an easy fix, I just looked over to the parking lot to see if the prof. was coming, in order to keep her from thinking that, when she suspected, since both involved turning my head left), so I ask, how should I go about meeting her without seriously embarrasing myself, or getting off on the wrong foot? Just, please keep it serious, if at all possible(I know that it's not for some), or humorous if not.

I ask people to either get drunk with me, hit me or just talk to them normally and ask them out for a caffe Mocha.

[Kashindahar]

Find her on her way home and ask her about her sideways asian vagina.

[Bitchkitten]

Break the ice by writing her a note. I've noticed Aspergers folks seem to have no problem communicating in writing.

[Euroslavia]

Find her on her way home and ask her about her sideways asian vagina.

That hardly seems appropriate...

[New Olwe]

Break the ice by writing her a note. I've noticed Aspergers folks seem to have no problem communicating in writing.

As an Asperger's sufferer myself, I can attest to the veracity of this. I've given notes to women I'm into on numerous occasions, and even got a girlfriend out of it once.

[Kashindahar]

Find her on her way home and ask her about her sideways asian vagina.

That hardly seems appropriate...

Maybe I've been watching too much anime, but it seems tame, almost; rape seems to be the way you say hello in Japan.

[Kahanistan]

Well, I've never been good at talking to people either, which really hurts when the woman you want to date is scared off. For years I've tried counselors and prescriptions and even fell in with some very accepting people, but little came of it. So, I consulted the magic ganja plant, and the magic ganja plant told me most of what I did that was putting people off. (Well, it helped me make connections between facts that I don't normally make, and you have to go into the experience wanting answers to your questions.) I seriously recommend it as a treatment.

If that isn't an option, rehearse in your head over and over what you want to say to her. I did it when I felt the need to tell a woman how I felt about her. Still had to knock back about three beers to lower my inhibitions enough to tell her, but it worked.

[KaIashnikov]

Facebook her up.

[United Dependencies]

Facebookstalk her up.

fixed.

[Neu California]

Find her on her way home and ask her about her sideways asian vagina.

That hardly seems appropriate...

But it's funny (in an assholey sot of way)

Break the ice by writing her a note. I've noticed Aspergers folks seem to have no problem communicating in writing.

As an Asperger's sufferer myself, I can attest to the veracity of this. I've given notes to women I'm into on numerous occasions, and even got a girlfriend out of it once.

Any suggestions on what to write? (Neu California ignores the issue of his semi-legible handwriting, because he has a printer)

[NERVUN]

Find her on her way home and ask her about her sideways asian vagina.

That hardly seems appropriate...

Maybe I've been watching too much anime, but it seems tame, almost; rape seems to be the way you say hello in Japan.

You're watching too much anime.

[KaIashnikov]

Stalk her up.

fixed.

Even more fixed.

[Buffett and Colbert]

People are so hard to get a long with. I'd advise you buy an inflatable dummy.

[Neu California]

Well, I've never been good at talking to people either, which really hurts when the woman you want to date is scared off. For years I've tried counselors and prescriptions and even fell in with some very accepting people, but little came of it. So, I consulted the magic ganja plant, and the magic ganja plant told me most of what I did that was putting people off. (Well, it helped me make connections between facts that I don't normally make, and you have to go into the experience wanting answers to your questions.) I seriously recommend it as a treatment.

If that isn't an option, rehearse in your head over and over what you want to say to her. I did it when I felt the need to tell a woman how I felt about her. Still had to knock back about three beers to lower my inhibitions enough to tell her, but it worked.

Helpful, if I had even the faintest idea what to say

Facebook her up.

fixed.

Unfixed.

Don't know her name, so that's not helpful

[United Dependencies]

Stalk her up.

fixed.

Even more fixed.

You I like.

[NERVUN]

(since NSG is apparently in a helpful mood)

Okay, in my college psychology class, there's this cute asian girl that I like (well two, but the latter always arrrives after the professor, thus making her silly inconvenient to talk to, especially because I'm starving by the end, meaning a beeline for the cafeteria), but, since I have Asperger's, my social skills (and any confidence in them, which is the real issue) are pretty poor. Also helpful is the fact that I don't know her name, whether she has a boyfriend, or anything like that. All I do know is she's cute, asian, and gets a ride to the college.

I thought about asking about her grade on the last test, but was afraid of sounding like an overachieving prick (I missed 2 out of 50, and the class average was about 50% correct), and I've already almost made myself seem a bit like a creep, bytaking quick but noticable glances at her (that was an easy fix, I just looked over to the parking lot to see if the prof. was coming, in order to keep her from thinking that, when she suspected, since both involved turning my head left), so I ask, how should I go about meeting her without seriously embarrasing myself, or getting off on the wrong foot? Just, please keep it serious, if at all possible(I know that it's not for some), or humorous if not.

Ya know, the best opening line is "Hi".

[Neu California]

*snip long OPquote]
Ya know, the best opening line is "Hi".

Yes, that would work, but then what?

Seriously, I'm not trying to be an asshole, it's just that I have next to no experience in this sort of thing (never really having a desire for friends)

[Bitchkitten]

Well, I've never been good at talking to people either, which really hurts when the woman you want to date is scared off. For years I've tried counselors and prescriptions and even fell in with some very accepting people, but little came of it. So, I consulted the magic ganja plant, and the magic ganja plant told me most of what I did that was putting people off. (Well, it helped me make connections between facts that I don't normally make, and you have to go into the experience wanting answers to your questions.) I seriously recommend it as a treatment.

If that isn't an option, rehearse in your head over and over what you want to say to her. I did it when I felt the need to tell a woman how I felt about her. Still had to knock back about three beers to lower my inhibitions enough to tell her, but it worked.

Helpful, if I had even the faintest idea what to say

Facebook her up.

fixed.

Unfixed.

Don't know her name, so that's not helpful

Might just start with telling her you think she's cute and interesting. Ask her out for a casual, non-threatening cup of coffee or light lunch. You might try breaking the news that you have Aspergers fairly early, explaining it to her. Better she know you have a disability than think your purposely being a dick when you fail to pick up on things.

[The Infinite Dunes]

If you've been caught staring at someone you like, the worst thing to do is pretend you were looking at something else. It's obvious to them that you were looking at them, and looking away just makes you look ashamed. Accept that you've been caught and communicate with a gentle smile or something.

And asking someone else's marks isn't a problem. Focus on their marks and their respective successes or difficulties. If you they ask you yours then be modest, and you follow up the answer with question to change the topic. Like asking how she did on the bit you mucked up on.

You can turn you hunger to your advantage and ask her to the cafeteria. Odds are she's probably hungry too. The worst that happens is that she declines. Her level of hunger is unlikely to effect whether she accepts or not, but more to do with how interested she is (in you as person, not as a potential boyfriend).

[Disposablepuppetland]

Find her on her way home and ask her about her sideways asian vagina.

That hardly seems appropriate...

Maybe I've been watching too much anime, but it seems tame, almost; rape seems to be the way you say hello in Japan.

He'll need to grow some tentacles for that though.

[Kashindahar]

*snip long OPquote]
Ya know, the best opening line is "Hi".

Yes, that would work, but then what?

Seriously, I'm not trying to be an asshole, it's just that I have next to no experience in this sort of thing (never really having a desire for friends)

Talk about the class. Once you've exhausted that move on to politics. Once you've exhausted that you'll have enough clues to ask her questions about herself without coming off like a creep.

[Neu California]

Well, I've never been good at talking to people either, which really hurts when the woman you want to date is scared off. For years I've tried counselors and prescriptions and even fell in with some very accepting people, but little came of it. So, I consulted the magic ganja plant, and the magic ganja plant told me most of what I did that was putting people off. (Well, it helped me make connections between facts that I don't normally make, and you have to go into the experience wanting answers to your questions.) I seriously recommend it as a treatment.

If that isn't an option, rehearse in your head over and over what you want to say to her. I did it when I felt the need to tell a woman how I felt about her. Still had to knock back about three beers to lower my inhibitions enough to tell her, but it worked.

Helpful, if I had even the faintest idea what to say

Facebook her up.

fixed.

Unfixed.

Don't know her name, so that's not helpful

Might just start with telling her you think she's cute and interesting. Ask her out for a casual, non-threatening cup of coffee or light lunch. You might try breaking the news that you have Aspergers fairly early, explaining it to her. Better she know you have a disability than think your purposely being a dick when you fail to pick up on things.

If you've been caught staring at someone you like, the worst thing to do is pretend you were looking at something else. It's obvious to them that you were looking at them, and looking away just makes you look ashamed. Accept that you've been caught and communicate with a gentle smile or something.

And asking someone else's marks isn't a problem. Focus on their marks and their respective successes or difficulties. If you they ask you yours then be modest, and you follow up the answer with question to change the topic. Like asking how she did on the bit you mucked up on.

You can turn you hunger to your advantage and ask her to the cafeteria. Odds are she's probably hungry too. The worst that happens is that she declines. Her level of hunger is unlikely to effect whether she accepts or not, but more to do with how interested she is (in you as person, not as a potential boyfriend).

^Most helpful pair of posts. The only real problem, aside from nerves (hell hath no fury like my nerves), is that she may leave right after. she does get a ride.

[Poliwanacraca]

Some possibilities:

"Hi, did you understand that thing the professor was talking about today? I thought it was confusing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, wasn't that joke the professor told today great? I love profs who can actually be funny while they're lecturing. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I missed last week's class and I don't really know anyone here. I was wondering if you could tell me what the lecture was about. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I just wanted to say that that was a really interesting question you asked in class today. I hadn't thought of that before. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, this may sound weird, but you look a LOT like a girl I used to go to elementary school with. You don't have a sister named [made-up name], do you? No? Heh, oh well. Anyway, my name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, your shirt/dress/scarf/hat is really pretty. My name's [name] - what's yours?"

"Hi, I noticed you were carrying [any book you see her carrying]. One of my friends was just reading that the other day - is it good? My name's [name] - what's yours?"

Et cetera. It really doesn't matter what topic of conversation you start with - just ask her a polite question or comment and follow it up with an introduction. If that little conversation goes well, next time you see her, you can jump right in with, "Hi, [her name]! Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to study for the test together?" or something to that effect.

[NERVUN]

^Most helpful pair of posts. The only real problem, aside from nerves (hell hath no fury like my nerves), is that she may leave right after. she does get a ride.

Then she leaves. Try just light conversation about the class while waiting for the prof. You can work up from there.