Relationships:

[Phocidaea]

10+ years.

Nowhere does it specifically say "romantic relationships", so I'll be that pedantic asshole everyone hates and say that I've been in a relationship, in the absolute basic sense of the term, with my own parents for my entire life thus far.

In the romantic realm, however, none so far.

[Stronbollia]

10+ years.

Nowhere does it specifically say "romantic relationships", so I'll be that pedantic asshole everyone hates and say that I've been in a relationship, in the absolute basic sense of the term, with my own parents for my entire life thus far.

In the romantic realm, however, none so far.

Romantic Is Implied:P

[Condunum]

10+ years.

Nowhere does it specifically say "romantic relationships", so I'll be that pedantic asshole everyone hates and say that I've been in a relationship, in the absolute basic sense of the term, with my own parents for my entire life thus far.

In the romantic realm, however, none so far.

Romantic Is Implied:P

I'll be that pedantic asshole

[Takaram]

4 and a half months, I believe, give or take a few days.

[The Campbell Nation]

A committed relationship? No, I don't think so. I'm that one guy who's always single, but gives everyone else relationship advice. Speaking of which…

If you're having trouble being dominant, then don't oversell it. Never try to be something you're not. If that's not your style, try being a gentleman instead. Get together with her at least once a week, and be sure to check in with her. Text messages work great. Not obsessively though. I'd say two messages a day, without a response.

Also, don't base your entire relationship off of advice you got on NSG. Use your own good judgement, and have faith. You sound like a nice guy.

[Choronzon]

Time is a meaningless construct of the demiurge.

[Malgrave]

Romantic relationships? Well Samuraikoku summed it up pretty perfectly.

[Ethel mermania]

My current relationship. Going on 3 and a half years.

And a wonderful 3 1/2 years it's been.

aaawwwwwwww (gag)

my current relationship is 25 years.

[Stronbollia]

A committed relationship? No, I don't think so. I'm that one guy who's always single, but gives everyone else relationship advice. Speaking of which…

If you're having trouble being dominant, then don't oversell it. Never try to be something you're not. If that's not your style, try being a gentleman instead. Get together with her at least once a week, and be sure to check in with her. Text messages work great. Not obsessively though. I'd say two messages a day, without a response.

Also, don't base your entire relationship off of advice you got on NSG. Use your own good judgement, and have faith. You sound like a nice guy.

I have asked my friends for advice but there problem is they don't want to hurt my feelings wrong so they don't always give the best advice. So I thought "Hey maybe NSG might give me painfully true and needed answers" But yea I see what your saying. And thank you Campbell for your advice, you seem pretty nice yourself. And she wants me to be more dominant so I am trying for her to make her happy and all.

[Cannot think of a name]

A committed relationship? No, I don't think so. I'm that one guy who's always single, but gives everyone else relationship advice. Speaking of which…

If you're having trouble being dominant, then don't oversell it. Never try to be something you're not. If that's not your style, try being a gentleman instead. Get together with her at least once a week, and be sure to check in with her. Text messages work great. Not obsessively though. I'd say two messages a day, without a response.

Also, don't base your entire relationship off of advice you got on NSG. Use your own good judgement, and have faith. You sound like a nice guy.

I have asked my friends for advice but there problem is they don't want to hurt my feelings wrong so they don't always give the best advice. So I thought "Hey maybe NSG might give me painfully true and needed answers" But yea I see what your saying. And thank you Campbell for your advice, you seem pretty nice yourself. And she wants me to be more dominant so I am trying for her to make her happy and all.

When you say 'dominant' are you talking about "We're going out on Friday, wear something nice" or are we talking "Why are you wearing pants?"

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

A committed relationship? No, I don't think so. I'm that one guy who's always single, but gives everyone else relationship advice. Speaking of which…

If you're having trouble being dominant, then don't oversell it. Never try to be something you're not. If that's not your style, try being a gentleman instead. Get together with her at least once a week, and be sure to check in with her. Text messages work great. Not obsessively though. I'd say two messages a day, without a response.

Also, don't base your entire relationship off of advice you got on NSG. Use your own good judgement, and have faith. You sound like a nice guy.

I have asked my friends for advice but there problem is they don't want to hurt my feelings wrong so they don't always give the best advice. So I thought "Hey maybe NSG might give me painfully true and needed answers" But yea I see what your saying. And thank you Campbell for your advice, you seem pretty nice yourself. And she wants me to be more dominant so I am trying for her to make her happy and all.

If I may add... if your personality isn't dominant, I highly doubt you can learn to be such. You can try and I wish you all the luck in the world on this, for you and your relationship.

[Bombadil]

5 years - one thing I'd say is this - do not try to be all things to your partner.

It's also very easy at the start of a relationship to make promises or act in a way that are geared to being the 'bestest ever boy/girl friend', promises and acts that are simply unsustainable in the long term.

Know the areas you're of value, don't try to be someone you're not and, finally, don't be so afraid of losing something that you commit to things you can't sustain.

[Choronzon]

I have asked my friends for advice but there problem is they don't want to hurt my feelings wrong so they don't always give the best advice. So I thought "Hey maybe NSG might give me painfully true and needed answers" But yea I see what your saying. And thank you Campbell for your advice, you seem pretty nice yourself. And she wants me to be more dominant so I am trying for her to make her happy and all.

If I may add... if your personality isn't dominant, I highly doubt you can learn to be such. You can try and I wish you all the luck in the world on this, for you and your relationship.

Right, because people can't change. No meek, beta person has ever developed a dominant personality.

[United Marxist Nations]

No relationships so far, but I've met someone.

[The walkers]

I used to obsess over girls back in my early high school years and had very short relationships. I did it mostly for the emotional satisfaction of it more than the physical, and I am sad to say I was often a very terrible boyfriend.(I was the 1 vote for 1-4 weeks)

That said starting around the end of my Sophmore year I decided I did not have time for relationships anymore. I needed to become successful in life and besides women come with money!(from a family of businessmen and women, so I think thats where I get these kinds of ideas)

I calmed down more around my senior year and for awhile let the idea of a relationship float around my head, but decided it was not worth it since I would not likely see them again.

[Stronbollia]

I have asked my friends for advice but there problem is they don't want to hurt my feelings wrong so they don't always give the best advice. So I thought "Hey maybe NSG might give me painfully true and needed answers" But yea I see what your saying. And thank you Campbell for your advice, you seem pretty nice yourself. And she wants me to be more dominant so I am trying for her to make her happy and all.

When you say 'dominant' are you talking about "We're going out on Friday, wear something nice" or are we talking "Why are you wearing pants?"

Well when she means dominate she wants me to take control of the relationship and call the shots (Always starting the action, always planning out the night, being more assertive, etc)

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

If I may add... if your personality isn't dominant, I highly doubt you can learn to be such. You can try and I wish you all the luck in the world on this, for you and your relationship.

Right, because people can't change. No meek, beta person has ever developed a dominant personality.

I didn't say a person can't learn to be dominant. I said I highly doubt it. If he can learn it, good on him. But if not, there's no shame in it either.

[Ethel mermania]

If I may add... if your personality isn't dominant, I highly doubt you can learn to be such. You can try and I wish you all the luck in the world on this, for you and your relationship.

Right, because people can't change. No meek, beta person has ever developed a dominant personality.

why would you? i mean its fun to play master every once in a while. but day in and dqy out, if it is not who you are, the relationship will ultimately be unsatisfying to you.

[The Campbell Nation]

I have asked my friends for advice but there problem is they don't want to hurt my feelings wrong so they don't always give the best advice. So I thought "Hey maybe NSG might give me painfully true and needed answers" But yea I see what your saying. And thank you Campbell for your advice, you seem pretty nice yourself. And she wants me to be more dominant so I am trying for her to make her happy and all.

You're very welcome. Of course, by acting like a gentleman, you could appear more dominant perhaps? Or at least looking out for her, which would definitely earn you some man points. I'm thinking like, taking her into town, and say, getting the door for her, lending her your jacket, helping her cross the street. Of course maybe she doesn't like these things.

Did she flat out ask you to be more dominant? Or is this some interpretation?

And by all means, ask away. I'm taking notes here. But I wouldn't put strategies straight into the field, especially since none of us know your unique position. That's the thing with relationships. And the Internet in general.

[Northwest Slobovia]

I am curious to see what your guys longest relationship was

21 years or so. And that's "is", not "was".

and what strategies do you use to keep it stable?

As you say:

To stabilize my relationships I am very nice to the girl, supportive, caring, etc.

It works for me; it can work for you.

[Wolny Kraj]

I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year now, I can't see any reason why we'd break up before it's a year or even before it's two or three years, I'm in high school and we're probably the most stable relationship in the building other than my best friend who's managed to keep his girlfriend from sixth grade. (kid's the man) I don't know where it'll go in college but I can see it lasting 3 or 4 years at the least.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Right, because people can't change. No meek, beta person has ever developed a dominant personality.

why would you? i mean its fun to play master every once in a while. but day in and dqy out, if it is not who you are, the relationship will ultimately be unsatisfying to you.

Not only that. Being the person in the relationship always responsible for making decisions can be tiresome.

[Cannot think of a name]

When you say 'dominant' are you talking about "We're going out on Friday, wear something nice" or are we talking "Why are you wearing pants?"

Well when she means dominate she wants me to take control of the relationship and call the shots (Always starting the action, always planning out the night, being more assertive, etc)

I was kind of hoping it was the pants thing. But then, that would have got awkward fast...ah well...

Are you not doing the things you want? Is the relationship not going the way you want it to?

Sometimes we put those things in the terms of 'dominance', but it's not really that (unless it is, but often that also leads to other things...), what we're really looking for is some indication that the other person is not along for the ride. Are they with me because I'm something to do, or do they truly madly want me? It's an insecure place lots of people find themselves in, and when the person their with pursues them, treats them protectively as 'theirs', you get that confirmation.

Sometimes that manifests as a chick or a dude who likes watching their significant other beating potential competition, or in more healthy and less dickish ways. Sometimes it's in gifts. Whatever.

But most of the time, what you'll find is that she's just looking for that need in you is as deep as the one in her.

So you don't have to transform yourself into a dick, you just have to let her know that what you are doing with her is exactly what it is you want to be doing and she's exactly the one you want to do it with.


hehe...I said 'do it'....

[Choronzon]

Right, because people can't change. No meek, beta person has ever developed a dominant personality.

why would you? i mean its fun to play master every once in a while. but day in and dqy out, if it is not who you are, the relationship will ultimately be unsatisfying to you.

Because out in the real world a little bit of dominating ability helps.

[Bombadil]

And she wants me to be more dominant so I am trying for her to make her happy and all.

Did she flat out ask you to be more dominant? Or is this some interpretation?

Quite, I broke up with someone once because I always had to think of things to do, whenever I'd ask 'what should we do today' she'd reply 'what do you want to do?' beyond just coming up with an idea regardless. It became very tiring.

It doesn't necessarily mean 'dominant', it could mean proactive, having an opinion..