Best Quotes

[Fictions]

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure. ~Murphy's Law

[Lunatic Goofballs]

"To be GOVERNED is to be watched, inspected, spied upon, directed, law-driven, numbered, regulated, enrolled, indoctrinated, preached at, controlled, checked, estimated, valued, censured, commanded, by creatures who have neither the right nor the wisdom nor the virtue to do so. To be GOVERNED is to be at every operation, at every transaction noted, registered, counted, taxed, stamped, measured, numbered, assessed, licensed, authorized, admonished, prevented, forbidden, reformed, corrected, punished. It is, under pretext of public utility, and in the name of the general interest, to be place[d] under contribution, drilled, fleeced, exploited, monopolized, extorted from, squeezed, hoaxed, robbed; then, at the slightest resistance, the first word of complaint, to be repressed, fined, vilified, harassed, hunted down, abused, clubbed, disarmed, bound, choked, imprisoned, judged, condemned, shot, deported, sacrificed, sold, betrayed; and to crown all, mocked, ridiculed, derided, outraged, dishonored. That is government; that is its justice; that is its morality."

- Pierre-Joseph Proudhon

What, no wedgies?

[Lunatic Goofballs]

That's the one about invisible men and their fan clubs right?

It is that. And now, fixed. Seriously, it's one of my all-time favorites of yours.

[Dolbri]

Einstein time!

"Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of the human race."

"The important thing is never to stop questioning."

And of course he's got many more.

[Bottle]

I'm in a Rollins mood today.

"When life hands you lemons, you say, 'Fuck yeah I like lemons. What else you got?'"
-HR

[Dragontide]

" I'm greatful for every beating I've ever taken. Once you get the trust beaten out of you, you see the world for what it really is"

Al Swearengen

[Kryozerkia]

"To be GOVERNED is to be watched, inspected, spied upon, directed, law-driven, numbered, regulated, enrolled, indoctrinated, preached at, controlled, checked, estimated, valued, censured, commanded, by creatures who have neither the right nor the wisdom nor the virtue to do so. To be GOVERNED is to be at every operation, at every transaction noted, registered, counted, taxed, stamped, measured, numbered, assessed, licensed, authorized, admonished, prevented, forbidden, reformed, corrected, punished. It is, under pretext of public utility, and in the name of the general interest, to be place[d] under contribution, drilled, fleeced, exploited, monopolized, extorted from, squeezed, hoaxed, robbed; then, at the slightest resistance, the first word of complaint, to be repressed, fined, vilified, harassed, hunted down, abused, clubbed, disarmed, bound, choked, imprisoned, judged, condemned, shot, deported, sacrificed, sold, betrayed; and to crown all, mocked, ridiculed, derided, outraged, dishonored. That is government; that is its justice; that is its morality."

- Pierre-Joseph Proudhon

I thought the purpose of this thread was to share favourite quotes, NOT speeches?!

[German Zerabithea]

"Ideas are more powerful than guns. We would not let our enemies have guns; why should we let them have ideas?" --Josef Stalin

[The Macabees]

Kumar: "Man, you smoke weed? Doesn't that make you a hypocrit?"

Bush: "Do you like to give handjobs?"

Kumar: "Ew, no!"

Bush: "Do you like to get handjobs?"

Kumar: "Yes!"

Bush: "Then you're a fucking hypocritisizer. Shut the fuck up, and smoke my weed!"

[Parthenon]

Democracy is worth dying for, because it's the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man.
-Ronald Reagan

[Colonic Immigration]

Kumar: "Man, you smoke weed? Doesn't that make you a hypocrit?"

Bush: "Do you like to give handjobs?"

Kumar: "Ew, no!"

Bush: "Do you like to get handjobs?"

Kumar: "Yes!"

Bush: "Then you're a fucking hypocritisizer. Shut the fuck up, and smoke my weed!"

Awesome film.

[Luna Amore]

"We must not believe the many, who say that only free people ought to be educated, but we should rather believe the philosophers who say that only the educated are free." - Epictetus

And my personal favorite passage from the Bible:
"Will you speak unjustly on God's behalf?
Will you speak deceitfully for Him?
What will happen when He examines you?
Will you fool Him as one fools men?" Job 13:7-9

And then Woody Allen is always good for quotes: "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying."

[Itzaygix]

"Resistance is futile"

[Conserative Morality]

What is the use of living, if it be not to strive for noble causes and to make this muddled world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone?

Never, never, never believe any war will be smooth and easy, or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter. The statesman who yields to war fever must realise that once the signal is given, he is no longer the master of policy but the slave of unforeseeable and uncontrollable events.

If Hitler invaded Hell, I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons.

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile — hoping it will eat him last.

Churchill has some of the greatest, and most true, quotes of all time.

MODEDIT - Fixed your quote tags so it displays correctly. You need to use quotation marks. ~ Kryo

[Kadagai]

I'm in a Rollins mood today.

"When life hands you lemons, you say, 'Fuck yeah I like lemons. What else you got?'"
-HR

When God gives you lemons, YOU FIND A NEW GOD!!

[Conserative Morality]

Thanks Kryo. Didn't know that.

[Jiraua]

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

- Robert A. Heinlein

I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.

- J. Robert Oppenheimer, quoting Shiva

[Colonic Immigration]

A lie gets half way around the world before the truth has time to put it's underpants on"- Churchill.


Guess where I read that.

[Angleter]

Otto von Bismarck:

"Never believe anything until it has been officially denied."
"Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made."
"The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia."
"There is a Providence that protects idiots, drunkards, children and the United States of America."
"When you say you agree to a thing in principle you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice."
"Your map of Africa is really quite nice. But my map of Africa lies in Europe. Here is Russia, and here... is France, and we're in the middle — that's my map of Africa."

[JuNii]

"Sometimes, Bad guys are the only Good guys you get." -Parker 'Leverage'

"It's at a time like this, when I think all we can do is turn our eyes up to the heavens and say... Oh shit. " Agent Manners "Jack Frost"

[Jingoist Hippostan]

"I hate to recommend drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked so well for me"
-Hunter S. Thompson

[Esselldee]

"I contend we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
...Stephen F Roberts

[Celdonia]

I'm kinda partial to "If God created us in His image, we have returned him the favour." - Voltaire.

I'm rather fond of Montesquieu's quote in a similar vein:

It has been well said that if triangles had a god, they would give him three sides.

[Getbrett]

"Look down on me, you will see a fool. Look up at me, you will see your Lord. Look straight at me, you will see yourself."
--Charles Manson

[Laerod]

Amazingly, then, the voice of the rival Jeffersonian leader spiraled up into a scream: "Come on, you! Going to let those hellhounds attack our Communist friends-- friends now, by God!" With which the mild bookworm leaped into the air, came down squarely upon a fat Mickey Mouse, capsized him, seized his blackjack, took time to kick another M.M.'s shins before arising from the wreck, sprang up, and waded into the raiders as, Doremus guessed, he would have waded into a table of statistics on the proportion of butter fat in loose milk in 97.7 per cent of shops on Avenue B.
Till then, only half-a-dozen Communist Party members had been facing the M.M.'s, their backs to a garage wall. Fifty of their own, fifty Jeffersonians besides, now joined them, and with bricks and umbrellas and deadly volumes of sociology they drove off the enraged M.M.'s--partisans of Bela Kun side by side with the partisans of Professor John Dewey--until a riot squad of policemen battered their way in to protect the M.M.'s by arresting the girl Communist speaker and the Jeffersonian.

Sinclair Lewis, It Can't Happen Here

M.M. is short for Minute Man (or Men); Mickey Mouse is a derogatory term used by the fictional contemporaries of the fictional fascists.