Favorite Bible Verse

[Sweet Kush]

"...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O LORD, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the LORD did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... [Part skipped a bit]... And the LORD spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

Book of Armaments, Chapter 2, verses 9-21

[Priory Academy USSR]

"With a belt at your waist, a patch over your eye, and a cutlass in your hand, you shall eat the pasta. For you are no longer short-order cooks, but the sauce on your door will mark you as Pirates!"

[Zweite Alaje]

Ezekiel 23:20.

"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."

I think Ezekiel had some unresolved issues, personally.

Enzyte?

[The Nation of Theives]

Rev 5

2: And I saw a strong angel proclaiming with a loud voice, "Who is worthy to open the book, and to loose the seals thereof?"

3: And no man in heaven, nor in earth, neither under the earth, was able to open the book, neither to look thereon.

4: And I wept much, because no man was found worthy to open and to read the book, neither to look thereon.

5: And one of the elders saith unto me, "Weep not: behold, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, hath prevailed to open the book, and to loose the seven seals thereof."

6: And I beheld, and, lo, in the midst of the throne and of the four beasts, and in the midst of the elders, stood a Lamb as it had been slain, having seven horns and seven eyes, which are the seven Spirits of God sent forth into all the earth.

7And he came and took the book out of the right hand of him that sat upon the throne.

8And when he had taken the book, the four beasts and four and twenty elders fell down before the Lamb, having every one of them harps, and golden vials full of odours, which are the prayers of saints.

9And they sung a new song, saying, Thou art worthy to take the book, and to open the seals thereof: for thou wast slain, and hast redeemed us to God by thy blood out of every kindred, and tongue, and people, and nation;

10And hast made us unto our God kings and priests: and we shall reign on the earth.

11And I beheld, and I heard the voice of many angels round about the throne and the beasts and the elders: and the number of them was ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands;

12Saying with a loud voice, Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing.




Revelation is some cool stuff.

[Esternial]

*nothing to see here*

[Moilanse]

You know this actually had to have happened or it wouldn't be there.

Really? So everything written down is true?

No, I think he/she is saying that if that particular scenario hadn't happened at least several times there would have been no need to write down a judgement on it in their sacred texts.

[Esternial]

Really? So everything written down is true?

No, I think he/she is saying that if that particular scenario hadn't happened at least several times there would have been no need to write down a judgement on it in their sacred texts.

Well, if you put it like that.

Yes, that does make sense.

[Moilanse]

"Don't eat crickets, they're icky."
-Leviticus

No, I think he/she is saying that if that particular scenario hadn't happened at least several times there would have been no need to write down a judgement on it in their sacred texts.

Well, if you put it like that.

Yes, that does make sense.

Quite. That particular misunderstanding appears to have its origins in mutual obnoxiousness.

[Constaniana]

I don't remember what book or specific verse it is, but here it is anyway.

"And Jesus wept."

[Ovisterra]

Well, if you put it like that.

Yes, that does make sense.

Quite. That particular misunderstanding appears to have its origins in mutual obnoxiousness.

It might just have been my obnoxiousness.

[Moilanse]

Quite. That particular misunderstanding appears to have its origins in mutual obnoxiousness.

It might just have been my obnoxiousness.

Fair enough.

[The Archregimancy]

We had this very same thread back in May.

Here's what I said then:

Recycling and gently editing an old post of mine (and skipping inconsistently between translations):



Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?
(Mark 15:34 and, with minor variations, Matthew 27:46)

Pilate therefore said unto him, Art thou a king then? Jesus answered, Thou sayest that I am a king. To this end was I born, and for this cause came I into the world, that I should bear witness unto the truth. Every one that is of the truth heareth my voice. Pilate saith unto him, What is truth?
(John 18:37-38)

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
(Matthew 5:3-10)

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.
(Matthew 19:23-24)

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye. Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.
(Matthew 7:1-12)

All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.
(Acts 4:32-35)

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “Do not commit adultery,” “Do not murder,” “Do not steal,” “Do not covet,” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
(Romans 13:8)


This next one isn't a Bible verse, but rather one of my favourite quotes from early (3rd-century) Christian theological discussion; it's also a historical lesson to all evangelical literalists who think - mistakenly - that theirs is somehow the authentic 'old time religion':

What intelligent person can imagine that there was a first “day,” then a second and a third “day”—evening and morning—without the sun, the moon, and the stars? And that the first “day”—if it makes sense to call it such—existed even without a sky?

Who is foolish enough to believe that, like a human gardener, God planted a garden in Eden in the East and placed in it a tree of life, visible and physical, so that by biting into its fruit one would obtain life? And that by eating from another tree, one would come to know good and evil? And when it is said that God walked in the garden in the evening and that Adam hid himself behind a tree, I cannot imagine that anyone will doubt that these details point symbolically to spiritual meanings, by using an historical narrative which did not literally happen
(Origen De Principiis 4.1.6; written before 231AD)


And if I can cheat a bit and quote a completely different holy text... here's my favourite Koranic verse, where Mohammed calls a fatwah on all archaeologists:

By the sky, by the promised day of judgement, by the witnesses and the subject of that witness, cursed be the diggers of the pit!
(Al-Buruj, Surah 85:1-4)

[Moilanse]

... Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged...

That's a lot of judgement.

[Serrland]

It's a chapter rather than just a verse, but it's quite short, so I'll type it here. The last three verses, bolded below, are the ones I most like.

Now I also am a mortal, the same as all men,
And earthborn, a descendent of the first-formed man;
For in the womb of a mother I was engraved as flesh.
In a period of ten months, I was constructed with blood
From the seed of man and the pleasure of marriage.
When I was born, I breathed the common air,
Then fell upon the earth the same as all;
And as my first sound, I cried like everyone else.
I was nursed with care in swaddling cloths.
Thus no king had a different beginning of existence,
For there is one entrance into life for all,
And a common departure.

[Tlaceceyaya]

Judges 1:19

And the LORD was with Judah, and he took possession of the hill country, but he could not drive out the inhabitants of the plain because they had chariots of iron.

[Norsklow]

The spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD has anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound.

Isa 61:1

[Ashmoria]

psalm 137

1 By the rivers of Babylon there we sat weeping
when we remembered Zion.

2 On the poplars in its midst we hung up our harps.

3 For there our captors asked us for the words of a song;
Our tormentors, for joy: “Sing for us a song of Zion!”

4 But how could we sing a song of the LORD in a foreign land?

5 If I forget you, Jerusalem, may my right hand forget.

6 May my tongue stick to my palate if I do not remember you,
If I do not exalt Jerusalem beyond all my delights.

7 Remember, LORD, against Edom that day at Jerusalem.
They said: “Level it, level it down to its foundations!”

8 Desolate Daughter Babylon, you shall be destroyed, blessed the one who pays you back what you have done us!

9 Blessed the one who seizes your children and smashes them against the rock.


its so bitter.

[Camelza]

"Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these"

[Great Yorkshire]

"We are dust, as for man his days are like grass, like a flower of the field. So does he sprout, for a wind passes over him and he is no longer there and his place no longer recognizes him."

-Psalm/Tehillim 103

[Norsklow]

"Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these"

And he forgot the first of the 2. As though they could be taken separately.

[Typhlochactas]

John 1:5

The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.

[Ammar]

Isaiah 13:15-18 (NIV)

15 Whoever is captured will be thrust through; all who are caught will fall by the sword. 16 Their infants will be dashed to pieces before their eyes; their houses will be looted and their wives violated.

17 See, I will stir up against them the Medes, who do not care for silver and have no delight in gold. 18 Their bows will strike down the young men; they will have no mercy on infants, nor will they look with compassion on children.

[South Nordland]

My favorite bible verse is Psalm 32. (ESV)

[The Zeonic States]

Revelations 22:13

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

That just had weight with me ever since i was a child, and while i don't exactly believe in christrian beliefs well i was brought up into the religion and still recall quite a bit.

[Andaricus]

It's a toss up between

Ephesians 6:10 - "Finally, My Brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His Might."

and

Isaiah 40:31 - "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strenght, they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."