Spanking

[Xhaine]

Hitting children (or adults) is wrong and abusive. Parents who spank their children teach the idea that violence is the proper way to solve disagreements.

And yet, oddly enough, I was spanked as a child and do not think that violence is the proper way to solve disagreements...

Exactly.

Look, just because parents spank their children doesn't make them evil child abusers. I can, from experience, say that I acted up as a kid, I mean who doesn't right? My parents would give me time out, or take away privileges, and that just made me want to act up even more. Once it got to the point where I had finally aggravated them enough, I got spanked, and I can tell you I didn't act up after that. It sure as hell didn't instill any violent thoughts or actions or a deep hatred or fear of my parents, it made me stop. I wouldn't use this for every time my kid acted up, no way! That would be very excessive. But if you don't set a definite line and a punishment for crossing this line, kids think they can do whatever the hell they want. It's a sad fact, but sometimes kids need discipline, and a few spanks isn't going to scar them for life.

[Glorious Freedonia]

If it has not happened already, I foresee this thread quickly becoming a zero sum game of "Spanking is child abuse" vs. "Not spanking is child neglect".

I just spoke to an 80 year old lady who was very nice. She told me that her dad was crippled by getting beat with a metal logging tool. Obviously, that was abuse. Obviously, spanking kids is not going to cripple them so it is not abuse.

Not spanking your kids is probably a bad idea but I am not sure that it is child neglect. Kids need discipline and maybe parents are sometimes able to come up with effective ways of providing it without spanking them.

I am squarely in the camp of if you don't love your kids then do not spank them. If you love your kids you will spank them.

[Ovisterra]

Hitting children (or adults) is wrong and abusive. Parents who spank their children teach the idea that violence is the proper way to solve disagreements.

And yet, oddly enough, I was spanked as a child and do not think that violence is the proper way to solve disagreements...

If you support spanking, then yes, you do see violence as a way to solve disagreements.

[Ovisterra]

Obviously, spanking kids is not going to cripple them so it is not abuse.

Now you're just making up your own definitions.

If you love your kids you will spank them.

So my parents don't love me?

[Glorious Freedonia]

Obviously, spanking kids is not going to cripple them so it is not abuse.

Now you're just making up your own definitions.

If you love your kids you will spank them.

So my parents don't love me?

A post modernist would tell you that we all make up definitions. I am not one of them but I see their point kinda. A good spanking does lasting good and no lasting harm. Child abuse does no good but does lasting harm. Do you agree? What do you think is the definition of child abuse?

I do not know enough about your situation to know if your parents loved you or not. Maybe you never needed disciplined. If you needed it and did not get it then they did not love you enough to do right by you.

[Glorious Freedonia]

And yet, oddly enough, I was spanked as a child and do not think that violence is the proper way to solve disagreements...

If you support spanking, then yes, you do see violence as a way to solve disagreements.

How does spanking solve disagreements? Spanking is not about resolving anything, it merely provides discipline.

[Ovisterra]

Now you're just making up your own definitions.



So my parents don't love me?

A post modernist would tell you that we all make up definitions. I am not one of them but I see their point kinda. A good spanking does lasting good and no lasting harm. Child abuse does no good but does lasting harm. Do you agree? What do you think is the definition of child abuse?

This being the internet, I have a dictionary handy.

child abuse
noun

mistreatment of a child by a parent or guardian, including neglect, beating, and sexual molestation.

Underlining mine.

I do not know enough about your situation to know if your parents loved you or not. Maybe you never needed disciplined. If you needed it and did not get it then they did not love you enough to do right by you.

But I did get discipline.

[Ovisterra]

If you support spanking, then yes, you do see violence as a way to solve disagreements.

How does spanking solve disagreements? Spanking is not about resolving anything, it merely provides discipline.

If it's not resolving anything, then why are we doing it?

[Glorious Freedonia]

A post modernist would tell you that we all make up definitions. I am not one of them but I see their point kinda. A good spanking does lasting good and no lasting harm. Child abuse does no good but does lasting harm. Do you agree? What do you think is the definition of child abuse?

This being the internet, I have a dictionary handy.

child abuse
noun

mistreatment of a child by a parent or guardian, including neglect, beating, and sexual molestation.

Underlining mine.

I do not know enough about your situation to know if your parents loved you or not. Maybe you never needed disciplined. If you needed it and did not get it then they did not love you enough to do right by you.

But I did get discipline.

Ok, maybe they found a creative solution and they loved you. If you turned out ok, then they did their job. If you are a screw up then they did not love you enough to raise you right.

My definition and the internet's are harmonious.

[Ovisterra]

This being the internet, I have a dictionary handy.



Underlining mine.



But I did get discipline.

Ok, maybe they found a creative solution and they loved you. If you turned out ok, then they did their job. If you are a screw up then they did not love you enough to raise you right.

I don't think I'm that much of a screw up, but I may be biased here.

My definition and the internet's are harmonious.

So you agree that spanking is child abuse?

[Glorious Freedonia]

How does spanking solve disagreements? Spanking is not about resolving anything, it merely provides discipline.

If it's not resolving anything, then why are we doing it?

To be successful parents. This is not the resolution of a conflict but the achievement of an important goal that when attained, society ought to give us a pat on the back for doing our jobs right.

[Ovisterra]

If it's not resolving anything, then why are we doing it?

To be successful parents. This is not the resolution of a conflict but the achievement of an important goal that when attained, society ought to give us a pat on the back for doing our jobs right.

But surely you're resolving this issue of discipline, are you not?

[Glorious Freedonia]

Ok, maybe they found a creative solution and they loved you. If you turned out ok, then they did their job. If you are a screw up then they did not love you enough to raise you right.

I don't think I'm that much of a screw up, but I may be biased here.

My definition and the internet's are harmonious.

So you agree that spanking is child abuse?

You are a screw up if the following is true: If everybody acted in accordance with your values, society would fall apart and we would be living in a post apocalyptic hell hole or caves.

Of course I do not agree with you that spanking is child abuse. You should come over to the light and agree with me and the internet that beating kids is bad.

[Glorious Freedonia]

To be successful parents. This is not the resolution of a conflict but the achievement of an important goal that when attained, society ought to give us a pat on the back for doing our jobs right.

But surely you're resolving this issue of discipline, are you not?

No. There is no issue of discipline. There is a need for a spanking by the child and the fulfillment of that need by the parent. It is an unpleasant job, but it is better than changing a really dirty diaper. Am I right? *Looking for a high five here.*

[Ovisterra]

I don't think I'm that much of a screw up, but I may be biased here.



So you agree that spanking is child abuse?

You are a screw up if the following is true: If everybody acted in accordance with your values, society would fall apart and we would be living in a post apocalyptic hell hole or caves.

So we're all screw-ups. Good to know.

Of course I do not agree with you that spanking is child abuse.

But you just agreed with the dictionary definition of child abuse, which spanking falls under.

You should come over to the light and agree with me and the internet that beating kids is bad.

Oh, everyone on the internet agrees with you?

Not only is that arrogant, it's false.

[Ovisterra]

But surely you're resolving this issue of discipline, are you not?

No. There is no issue of discipline. There is a need for a spanking by the child and the fulfillment of that need by the parent.

You're still resolving an issue. That issue is this apparent "need" for spanking. I disagree with you on that, but for the sake of my point I'm going along with it.

It is an unpleasant job, but it is better than changing a really dirty diaper. Am I right? *Looking for a high five here.*

One is not forthcoming from me.

[Glorious Freedonia]

You are a screw up if the following is true: If everybody acted in accordance with your values, society would fall apart and we would be living in a post apocalyptic hell hole or caves.

So we're all screw-ups. Good to know.

Of course I do not agree with you that spanking is child abuse.

But you just agreed with the dictionary definition of child abuse, which spanking falls under.

You should come over to the light and agree with me and the internet that beating kids is bad.

Oh, everyone on the internet agrees with you?

Not only is that arrogant, it's false.

If we are all screw ups then according to logic then we are all living in a post apocalyptic hell hole or caves. If you know this to be true I shudder to think what sort of situation that you are in.

You gave me an internet definition of child abuse. It does not mention spanking as part of child abuse. Spanking is not beating which you underlined. Not everyone on the internet agrees on anything. I am not being arrogant. Then internet definition and mine are harmonious.

[Glorious Freedonia]

No. There is no issue of discipline. There is a need for a spanking by the child and the fulfillment of that need by the parent.

You're still resolving an issue. That issue is this apparent "need" for spanking. I disagree with you on that, but for the sake of my point I'm going along with it.

It is an unpleasant job, but it is better than changing a really dirty diaper. Am I right? *Looking for a high five here.*

One is not forthcoming from me.

So you prefer changing really dirty diapers to spanking? You are a True Antispankite! Yeah that's right, I went there!

[Ovisterra]

So we're all screw-ups. Good to know.



But you just agreed with the dictionary definition of child abuse, which spanking falls under.



Oh, everyone on the internet agrees with you?

Not only is that arrogant, it's false.

If we are all screw ups then according to logic then we are all living in a post apocalyptic hell hole or caves. If you know this to be true I shudder to think what sort of situation that you are in.

Nopedy nopdey nope. Your defintion of screw-ups requires everyone to agree with a person before the apocalypse arrives, so it's possible for everyone to be a screw up before said cataclysm happens.

You gave me an internet definition of child abuse. It does not mention spanking as part of child abuse. Spanking is not beating which you underlined. Not everyone on the internet agrees on anything. I am not being arrogant. Then internet definition and mine are harmonious.

Beating
Noun

1. the act of a person or thing that beats, as to punish, clean, mix, etc.: Give the rug a good beating.

Beat
Verb

1. to strike violently or forcefully and repeatedly.

[Ovisterra]

You're still resolving an issue. That issue is this apparent "need" for spanking. I disagree with you on that, but for the sake of my point I'm going along with it.




One is not forthcoming from me.

So you prefer changing really dirty diapers to spanking? You are a True Antispankite! Yeah that's right, I went there!

I would prefer any act of childcare above striking a child.

[Ifreann]

If you support spanking, then yes, you do see violence as a way to solve disagreements.

How does spanking solve disagreements? Spanking is not about resolving anything, it merely provides discipline.

So it's basically torture. You're causing pain to bring about some particular behaviour in a person.

[Ovisterra]

How does spanking solve disagreements? Spanking is not about resolving anything, it merely provides discipline.

So it's basically torture. You're causing pain to bring about some particular behaviour in a person.

Basically.

Either you admit that spanking is "resolving an issue" and therefore that you use violence to resolve issues, or you admit to torturing little kids.

[Al Horeya]

How does spanking solve disagreements? Spanking is not about resolving anything, it merely provides discipline.

If it's not resolving anything, then why are we doing it?

It's not about resolving a moral question, or telling you why you should do whatever you didn't do and got spanked for. Spanking teaches a very important lesson-sometimes, it's best to do as your told. If your parents tell you to do something, you should act now, ask later. This is very important for people to learn, since it will apply in many workplaces. It also teaches you how to ask questions appropriately-how to ask why without showing doubt in someone's ability, and how to give one's opinion despite being lower on the proverbial totem pole.
I was spanked as a kid, and now I feel like I'm doing pretty darn well for myself. I also helped raise my sister, and she is also doing very well. In fact, I don't know how I'll raise my kid the day I have one. Sometimes I think I should limit myself to spanking, like mum did, but other times I wonder if Grandma was on to something when she punished us, using worse punishments for repeat offences (she made us kneel on salt and uncoocked corn for an hour once. I'll never forget that punishment lol but it sure taught us not to cross her!).
The point is, your kid shouldn't do what he's told because you're right, or because he likes what he was told to do. He should do it because you said so, out of respect for you and your authority over him.

[Dyakovo]

A post modernist would tell you that we all make up definitions. I am not one of them but I see their point kinda. A good spanking does lasting good and no lasting harm. Child abuse does no good but does lasting harm. Do you agree? What do you think is the definition of child abuse?

This being the internet, I have a dictionary handy.

child abuse
noun

mistreatment of a child by a parent or guardian, including neglect, beating, and sexual molestation.

Underlining mine.

I can't help but notice that the dictionary definition doesn't include "spanking"...

[Ovisterra]

This being the internet, I have a dictionary handy.



Underlining mine.

I can't help but notice that the dictionary definition doesn't include "spanking"...

It includes beating, which is defined as " the act of a person or thing that beats, as to punish, clean, mix, etc".