NationStates

Terruana wrote:There's a difference between looking at someone and thinking "They look really good", then going on with your day, and staring at someone to the point of making them uncomfortable. Apparently some people in this thread don't seem to appreciate the distinction. Clothes designed to look nice are not invitations to stare and drool, they're just there to make the person wearing them look and feel good.

Mini Miehm wrote:No. And what's more, hell no. If I'm staring at a woman(or a man for that matter) its because I think they're attractive. It is me paying you a silent compliment, because I feel that your appearance is worth prolonged appraisal. If you Kirk out on me for paying you that compliment, the only person being impolite in that situation is you. I'm a fairly average guy, and I enjoy dressing in a way that draws peoples attention, because I like it when people look at me. If I got mad when people looked at me appreciatively, that would be rank hypocrisy.

Zaras wrote:Hey, stop right fucking there. Being leered at is NEVER a compliment, and the fact that you can consider it one just shows how blinded you are by your privilege.

Zaras wrote:

Mini Miehm wrote:No. And what's more, hell no. If I'm staring at a woman(or a man for that matter) its because I think they're attractive. It is me paying you a silent compliment, because I feel that your appearance is worth prolonged appraisal. If you Kirk out on me for paying you that compliment, the only person being impolite in that situation is you. I'm a fairly average guy, and I enjoy dressing in a way that draws peoples attention, because I like it when people look at me. If I got mad when people looked at me appreciatively, that would be rank hypocrisy.

Hey, stop right fucking there. Being leered at is NEVER a compliment, and the fact that you can consider it one just shows how blinded you are by your privilege.

Des-Bal wrote:

Zaras wrote:Hey, stop right fucking there. Being leered at is NEVER a compliment, and the fact that you can consider it one just shows how blinded you are by your privilege.

Punctuating your sentence with "privileged" makes you sound less disenfranchised and more like a crybaby.

Mini Miehm wrote:

Terruana wrote:There's a difference between looking at someone and thinking "They look really good", then going on with your day, and staring at someone to the point of making them uncomfortable. Apparently some people in this thread don't seem to appreciate the distinction. Clothes designed to look nice are not invitations to stare and drool, they're just there to make the person wearing them look and feel good.

Yes they are. Stare at me and drool damn you!

Des-Bal wrote:

Zaras wrote:Hey, stop right fucking there. Being leered at is NEVER a compliment, and the fact that you can consider it one just shows how blinded you are by your privilege.

Punctuating your sentence with "privileged" makes you sound less disenfranchised and more like a crybaby.

Mini Miehm wrote:My privilege of...what precisely? If you're applying that not being a woman is a privilege, then I take exception. Unless someone is actively being harassing, either through actions(looking isn't sufficient for harassment) or words, then they are appreciating your appearance.

Terruana wrote:

Mini Miehm wrote:

Yes they are. Stare at me and drool damn you!

This is exactly how Snow White went down :/

Zaras wrote:

Des-Bal wrote:
Punctuating your sentence with "privileged" makes you sound less disenfranchised and more like a crybaby.

I'm not pretending I'm disenfranchised, unlike people who blame women when they can't control their libidos.

Mini Miehm wrote:My privilege of...what precisely? If you're applying that not being a woman is a privilege, then I take exception. Unless someone is actively being harassing, either through actions(looking isn't sufficient for harassment) or words, then they are appreciating your appearance.

Assuming that leering and objectifying is automatically a compliment and that those women who call you out on it are just so silly and easily offended? It's like playing "male privilege bingo".

Like Terruana said, you can't seem to tell the difference between casually noticing someone's appearance and being creepy, judging by that post.

Zaras wrote:I'm not pretending I'm disenfranchised, unlike people who blame women when they can't control their libidos.

Mini Miehm wrote:How long exactly does it take for a glance to go from appreciative to creepy? Give me a time frame. Because I've been snapped at for a glance and a smile, and I've been given phone numbers for lingering looks. If there's no standard, then people who get offended by a look ARE just easily offended.

Terruana wrote:This is exactly how Snow White went down :/

Des-Bal wrote:

Terruana wrote:This is exactly how Snow White went down :/

Snow White ate unsolicited food given to her by a stranger and woke up with a strange man sticking his tongue in her mouth.

Mini Miehm wrote:

Zaras wrote:
I'm not pretending I'm disenfranchised, unlike people who blame women when they can't control their libidos.



Assuming that leering and objectifying is automatically a compliment and that those women who call you out on it are just so silly and easily offended? It's like playing "male privilege bingo".

Like Terruana said, you can't seem to tell the difference between casually noticing someone's appearance and being creepy, judging by that post.

How long exactly does it take for a glance to go from appreciative to creepy? Give me a time frame. Because I've been snapped at for a glance and a smile, and I've been given phone numbers for lingering looks. If there's no standard, then people who get offended by a look ARE just easily offended.

Des-Bal wrote:

Terruana wrote:This is exactly how Snow White went down :/

Snow White ate unsolicited food given to her by a stranger and woke up with a strange man sticking his tongue in her mouth.

Zaras wrote:

Mini Miehm wrote:How long exactly does it take for a glance to go from appreciative to creepy? Give me a time frame. Because I've been snapped at for a glance and a smile, and I've been given phone numbers for lingering looks. If there's no standard, then people who get offended by a look ARE just easily offended.

Try asking people who've actually been subjected to that for the time frame. I'd say constantly staring for at least a minute is already suspect.

Des-Bal wrote:

Zaras wrote:I'm not pretending I'm disenfranchised, unlike people who blame women when they can't control their libidos.

Every time I see you you're talking about how privileged everyone else is which is pretty arrogant and not very helpful.

Mini Miehm wrote:


I think in the original she got raped actually.... Just sayin, thats kinda bad.

Zaras wrote:

Des-Bal wrote:
Every time I see you you're talking about how privileged everyone else is which is pretty arrogant and not very helpful.

Brilliant argument. When somebody brings up sociological aspects of privilege and existing power structures, resort to the tone argument to dismiss the idea that privilege exists. Sure, that's a winning strategy.

How exactly is bringing up privilege not helpful, especially since I'm not the only one who's done it so far in the thread? Others have already advanced the point that some people debating here seemingly assume creepy staring also falls under "appreciative compliments".

Mini Miehm wrote:

Zaras wrote:
Try asking people who've actually been subjected to that for the time frame. I'd say constantly staring for at least a minute is already suspect.

That fails to define a time frame in the manner I was desiring. Its not practical to go up to every woman you see and ask her how long its ok for you to look at her. THAT'S creepy as shit.

Zaras wrote:

Mini Miehm wrote:

That fails to define a time frame in the manner I was desiring. Its not practical to go up to every woman you see and ask her how long its ok for you to look at her. THAT'S creepy as shit.

I meant ask people who've been subjected to creepy staring, what they think the time frame is. Not that you should ask them how long you can stare at them, for fuck's sake.

Zaras wrote:
I meant ask people who've been subjected to creepy staring, what they think the time frame is. Not that you should ask them how long you can stare at them, for fuck's sake.

Mini Miehm wrote:

I want to hear YOUR idea of a timeframe. Is it the minute that you mentioned? A minute seems like a long time to look at even the hottest woman(or man, but again, tangent).

Mini Miehm wrote:

Zaras wrote:
Brilliant argument. When somebody brings up sociological aspects of privilege and existing power structures, resort to the tone argument to dismiss the idea that privilege exists. Sure, that's a winning strategy.

How exactly is bringing up privilege not helpful, especially since I'm not the only one who's done it so far in the thread? Others have already advanced the point that some people debating here seemingly assume creepy staring also falls under "appreciative compliments".

You assume that all staring is automatically creepy.

Mini Miehm wrote:

Zaras wrote:
I meant ask people who've been subjected to creepy staring, what they think the time frame is. Not that you should ask them how long you can stare at them, for fuck's sake.

I want to hear YOUR idea of a timeframe. Is it the minute that you mentioned? A minute seems like a long time to look at even the hottest woman(or man, but again, tangent).