Babies!

[Meowfoundland]

I like babies, but hey, I've never had to clean up after one.

It's just like cleaning after a pet, except eventually the baby will learn to clean up after itself.

So did my cats. Are babies cats? They sound like them, literally and figuratively.

[The Dalekss]

Oh come on,Hannibal Lecter was scary enough,now I find out there are real life versions of him who attack sexually attractive babies :|
This world is sick

[Unilisia]

Ah, yes, the lovey dovey crap.

At this point, since I haven't manufactured one of my own, I get to make opinions from a distance. I think the early stage of their lives, when bodily fluids ooze/are ejected involuntarily from their bodies is disgusting, but manageable. Then they grow into the stage where they start learning things and can communicate with me on a basic level.

Then they age enough to be thrusted into the hands of the public education system and are summarily brainwashed. Or something.

One does not simply hate a sentence including the word vagina (unless it is involving a vagina killing you, in which case, hate away).

I don't think I'll be sending my kid off to public education in the United States, of all places. The school system here is fucking atrocious.

[Unilisia]

Oh come on,Hannibal Lecter was scary enough,now I find out there are real life versions of him who attack sexually attractive babies :|
This world is sick

If you're no longer posting anything worthwhile, please leave.

[Unilisia]

It's just like cleaning after a pet, except eventually the baby will learn to clean up after itself.

So did my cats. Are babies cats? They sound like them, literally and figuratively.

I've never seen a cat clean up after itself aside from going outside to defecate instead of on the couch...

[The Dalekss]

Oh come on,Hannibal Lecter was scary enough,now I find out there are real life versions of him who attack sexually attractive babies :|
This world is sick

If you're no longer posting anything worthwhile, please leave.

said Lecter Jr

[Unilisia]

If you're no longer posting anything worthwhile, please leave.

said Lecter Jr

Unfunny trolling is bad and you should feel bad.

[Katganistan]

Especially the cheeks.

cannibals :|

Nah... it's like the old joke....

A man noticed a farmer walking with three-legged pig on a leash. It looked very odd. He said, "Farmer, why are you walking a three-legged pig?"

"Why, stranger, this is no ordinary pig," the farmer replied. "One night our barn caught on fire, and before my wife and I even woke up, the pig had called the fire department, and herded all the other animals out of the barn. The next week, a burglar got into the house, and the pig had him tied up and the police were on their way before I even realized what had happened. Then just last week, I fell into the duck pond and was like to drown, except this pig jumped in and pulled me out. Like I say, this is no ordinary pig."

"Well, that truly is a remarkable pig. But tell me, how did he come to have only three legs?" "Are you kidding? A pig this good, you don't eat all at once."

[AiliailiA]

Until then, they're out-of-control offspring in my local supermarket who scream for overpriced, blue, sugar water in non-recyclable bottles shaped like the characters from whatever cinematic atrocity is currently being stuffed down their gaping throats by the media powers that be.

That's a run-on sentence. Done right.

[The Nuclear Fist]

Moby Troll spotted off the starboard bow, Captain Ahab.

Said by the man who answered "tasty"

I'll have you know that my species has a peculiar diet, you xenophobe.

[Krasny-Volny]

However, since that is not something they can control and in face signals that they are in pain and distress, I man up and deal with it.

Would you? How about on a twelve hour flight, on an average of forty to fifty minutes out of every hour, as I had to endure once. Throughout the ride, I consistently prayed on my knees that there would be no more turbulence to wake her up, chewing on my blanket to keep from joining in the screaming every time I saw the child stir.

When I got off the plane, I was in such a tired state that I fell asleep at the sink in the restroom as I splashed water into my face to wake myself up. The stewardess was sympathetic enough, but she should have been firmer with the brat's parents.

It didn't help that less than two hours later, I would have to make an important meeting with the most monotone speaker I've ever met.

[Enfaru]

Ugh... ...ugh.... yuck....ugh *wipes vomit from shoulder*...dammit....yuck...ewww...really now...ugh *changes nappy* goddammit...ugh....not again...yuck...what is it this time...ugh *wakes up in the middle of night to screaming*

>.>; Maybe adoption/fostering isn't for me XD

I like kids, but they have to be at least of an age where I can converse with them. Babies are a huge pain in the rear. Kids...easier until about the age of 8...then you have the first stress bump till 10..then quiet...then 13 strikes...from then on it's hell.

*hasn't had kids and probably won't*

[Sedikal]

Well as the father of a two year old I must say I enjoy it. I think it's pretty cool when he watches MMA with me and I really think its cool that AT&T the age of 2 he knowswho Jon jones is. But yeah I like to think I'm a good dad. Exempt maybe the time he watched me play GTA IV not my best parenting moment.

[Meowfoundland]

So did my cats. Are babies cats? They sound like them, literally and figuratively.

I've never seen a cat clean up after itself aside from going outside to defecate instead of on the couch...

Our cats learned to use a litter box very early on. One of our older cats learned to use the toilet. Sadly, she didn't flush.

[Christmahanikwanzikah]

Ah, yes, the lovey dovey crap.

At this point, since I haven't manufactured one of my own, I get to make opinions from a distance. I think the early stage of their lives, when bodily fluids ooze/are ejected involuntarily from their bodies is disgusting, but manageable. Then they grow into the stage where they start learning things and can communicate with me on a basic level.

Then they age enough to be thrusted into the hands of the public education system and are summarily brainwashed. Or something.

One does not simply hate a sentence including the word vagina (unless it is involving a vagina killing you, in which case, hate away).

I don't think I'll be sending my kid off to public education in the United States, of all places. The school system here is fucking atrocious.

Don't hate the sentence, hate the writer! (Wait, no, that doesn't work...)

But seriously, I don't hate the word "vagina." Or vaginas, for that matter. It's that the first part of that sentence was amusingly crass, so I didn't know how to take it.

And a friend of mine just graduated college Valedictorian for the College of Engineering after being homeschooled, so no matter what horror stories people tell you about the option, it's definitely an option. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

[Unilisia]

I've never seen a cat clean up after itself aside from going outside to defecate instead of on the couch...

Our cats learned to use a litter box very early on. One of our older cats learned to use the toilet. Sadly, she didn't flush.

My cat gets his own food, relieves himself outside, and knows when to come home before I close the back door. Like clockwork. And he usually cleans himself off by jumping in the shower with me.

BUT BACK TO BABIES, eventually they become children who can clean themselves and you don't have to wipe their asses.

[Katganistan]

However, since that is not something they can control and in face signals that they are in pain and distress, I man up and deal with it.

Would you? How about on a twelve hour flight, on an average of forty to fifty minutes out of every hour, as I had to endure once. Throughout the ride, I consistently prayed on my knees that there would be no more turbulence to wake her up, chewing on my blanket to keep from joining in the screaming every time I saw the child stir.

When I got off the plane, I was in such a tired state that I fell asleep at the sink in the restroom as I splashed water into my face to wake myself up. The stewardess was sympathetic enough, but she should have been firmer with the brat's parents.

It didn't help that less than two hours later, I would have to make an important meeting with the most monotone speaker I've ever met.

I have flown before.
I have flown with screaming babies before.
I deal with it.

They have these AWESOME things called headphones, and these other awesome things called earplugs, that can mask the noise. Try them.

Stewardess should have been firmer? And what do you suppose the parents could have done to stop the baby crying? Trust me, they didn't like it any more than you and were probably frustrated and mortified themselves.

[Ethel mermania]

But they are tasty

Especially the cheeks. (on the face, pervs!) And what kid doesn't laugh when you pretend to nom its belly?

Pretend?

[The Nuclear Fist]

BACK TO BABIES, eventually they become children who can clean themselves and you don't have to wipe their asses.

And unfortunately, by that point you have to stop eating them.

I have four children, all of them adults now. Most of them were very pleasant babies, and I can honestly say that whatever grief they gave me, it was dwarfed by the amount of joy they filled my fifteen hearts with.

[Meowfoundland]

Our cats learned to use a litter box very early on. One of our older cats learned to use the toilet. Sadly, she didn't flush.

My cat gets his own food, relieves himself outside, and knows when to come home before I close the back door. Like clockwork. And he usually cleans himself off by jumping in the shower with me.

BUT BACK TO BABIES, eventually they become children who can clean themselves and you don't have to wipe their asses.

Yeah, but you still have to clean up after them and they can cause way more damage.

[Fnordgasm 5]

I've never seen a cat clean up after itself aside from going outside to defecate instead of on the couch...

Our cats learned to use a litter box very early on. One of our older cats learned to use the toilet. Sadly, she didn't flush.

You can teach a cat to flush the toilet. The hard part is to teach it to stop flushing the toilet.

[Christmahanikwanzikah]

Our cats learned to use a litter box very early on. One of our older cats learned to use the toilet. Sadly, she didn't flush.

You can teach a cat to flush the toilet. The hard part is to teach it to stop flushing the toilet.

Or playing with the toilet paper rolls.

My cat has decided to cut out the middleman, and bite the rolls while they haven't even been taken out of their plastic wrappers yet. They're now housed in an area where he can't reach, so my TP isn't mangled and can actually come off the roll.

[Ethel mermania]

Said by the man who answered "tasty"

I'll have you know that my species has a peculiar diet, you xenophobe.

Infants and trolls?

[AiliailiA]

So did my cats. Are babies cats? They sound like them, literally and figuratively.

I've never seen a cat clean up after itself

But at least it cleans itself. More than you can say for a baby.

[Katganistan]

Our cats learned to use a litter box very early on. One of our older cats learned to use the toilet. Sadly, she didn't flush.

You can teach a cat to flush the toilet. The hard part is to teach it to stop flushing the toilet.

Not unlike a two year old.