Yo Old People (>21 years is old, for the purposes of this)

by **Fionnuala_Saoirse** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 7:34 am

Nadkor wrote:
Fionnuala_Saoirse wrote:
All of them grating.

Sorry Nadkor

Says the girl from Derry

City of Culture dontcha know *drops monocle*

by **Nadkor** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 7:37 am

Fionnuala_Saoirse wrote:
Nadkor wrote:
Says the girl from Derry

City of Culture dontcha know *drops monocle*

City of culchie, more like

by **Miasto Lodz** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:21 am

1. 35 y.o.+$ > 21-$. Works almost every time.
2. Don't get married. Well, unless your SO is a tax haven citizen, but check the divorce regulations first.
3. Learn how to drink. I mean the physiology of drinking and hangover.
4. Learn how to drive and operate anything between bike and mining excavators or planes. You'll never be unemployed. Tools don't bite.
5. Do not get married.
6. Learn a foreign language. Pick the useful one (Russian or Chinese).
7. 1 textbook (especially the technical one) > 15 novels.
8. Do NOT study bullshit like literature, social sciences etc.
9. Do not get married.
10. Trust the stereotypes. They are meant to save your time and effort. And they do.
11. Use condoms.
12. Do not get married.

by **AiliailiA** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:05 am

If you are determined and have strong fingernails, you can make a functional bong from two aluminium* drink cans.

*

by **Demen 2** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:50 am

Don't put it in her pooper.

by **Nadkor** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:52 am

Demen 2 wrote:Don't put it in her pooper.

Terrible advice.

Don't put it in her pooper without asking.

by **Rubiconic Crossings V2 rev 1f** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:54 am

Ailiailia wrote:If you are determined and have strong fingernails, you can make a functional bong from two aluminium* drink cans.

*
While I generally cleave to the US spelling, Aluminium is simply a better sounding word. Sir Humpy Davy got it wrong. 80 different elements have names ending "-ium" but only 5 have names ending in just -um. It's a chemical element not a trademarked product and I SPELL IT ALUMINIUM.

huh...I made one out of a Ribena carton on the bus back from college for a laugh...admittedly it looked more like a big lump of blue tack with a pen sticking out of the end...

by **Demen 2** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:54 am

Nadkor wrote:
Demen 2 wrote:Don't put it in her pooper.

Terrible advice.

Don't put it in her pooper without asking.

Damn!

by **Rubiconic Crossings V2 rev 1f** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:58 am

Nadkor wrote:
Demen 2 wrote:Don't put it in her pooper.

Terrible advice.

Don't put it in her pooper without asking.

Anal?

/

by **The Blaatschapen** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 10:46 am

Not a pipe wrote:
The Blaatschapen wrote:Tip: Don't call people old. It's rude. We're chronologically experienced
I added one word

Yeah... don't.

by **Death Metal** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:01 am

Tip to the young: Start enjoying ramen noodles, because you won't be finding a job anytime soon.

by **Call to power** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:33 am

My absolute important advice for all teens

The image of going out presented to you by the media is a fucking lie. Clubbing is an absolute load of bollocks invented by the lizard men as a means to extort money from the youth and 'going out on the pull' is something only men do.

A proper night out in real life is getting a load of mates together and hanging out at bars/pubs getting fairly pissed (especially if there is karaoke). The previous sentence is the key to happiness and you should write that shit down.

---

To echo what a few other people have said, make sure you have a financial cushion when you enter the real world - I have roughly 3k put away marked as an 'absolute clusterfuck' fund that does not include other means of support (no an overdraft does not count). I'm very secretive/defensive about this fund irl because your mates/partner will want you to spend this.

"CtP that seems like quite a bit"

You say that but there is a secret overriding force of destiny at work imo that means that if one thing goes wrong then suddenly everything will go wrong as if the combined forces of darkness will suddenly attempt a valiant assault to overwhelm you. This funds greatest asset however is that I can live with some peace of mind and independence.

by **Disserbia** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:42 am

I turned 22 in May...I have no advice except life is short and vodka is fun.

by **Intangelon** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:44 am

Asking old people for advice upon graduation is kinda like asking Black people for advice on how to commit crimes. Just because there's a correlation between age and wisdom does NOT mean that the latter causes the former. Old and rich people fucked up the economy -- gonna ask them for advice? Bad idea.

by **The Blaatschapen** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:45 am

Call to power wrote:My absolute important advice for all teens

The image of going out presented to you by the media is a fucking lie. Clubbing is an absolute load of bollocks invented by the lizard men as a means to extort money from the youth and 'going out on the pull' is something only men do.

A proper night out in real life is getting a load of mates together and hanging out at bars/pubs getting fairly pissed (especially if there is karaoke). The previous sentence is the key to happiness and you should write that shit down.

---

To echo what a few other people have said, make sure you have a financial cushion when you enter the real world - I have roughly 3k put away marked as an 'absolute clusterfuck' fund that does not include other means of support (no an overdraft does not count). I'm very secretive/defensive about this fund irl because your mates/partner will want you to spend this.

"CtP that seems like quite a bit"

You say that but there is a secret overriding force of destiny at work imo that means that if one thing goes wrong then suddenly everything will go wrong as if the combined forces of darkness will suddenly attempt a valiant assault to overwhelm you. This funds greatest asset however is that I can live with some peace of mind and independence.

To be honest, 3K is not a lot.

Kids: As you can see, there is quite a bit of discussion between spending and saving. My advice is: spend some, save some. But spend and save wisely: Spend to keep yourself afloat AND happy. Save, but not all in one basket, different banks, perhaps even in different countries (without breaking tax laws and such).

by **Call to power** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:48 am

Disserbia wrote:I turned 22 in May...I have no advice except life is short and vodka is fun.

Lies!

Vodka gives you spots.

by **Central Lothian** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:49 am

As I've recently turned 21, I qualify for this. And I have three bits of advice:

1 - Don't expect work colleagues to move boxes of stuff that you've ordered when you've popped out for lunch.
2 - Make sure the bus you catch after work is going towards where you live, not away from it ~~(and make sure that it's not going to Dundee)~~.
3 - For women: if you're wearing a bikini with tie sides, make sure they're done up tight.

by **Frisbeeteria** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 11:54 am

Don't use explosives to go fishing in a pond with an artificial dam.

Don't go exploring the high steel work on bridge construction projects when you don't have the keys to the security gates.

Check your brakes.

by **Disserbia** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:23 pm

Call to power wrote:
Disserbia wrote:I turned 22 in May...I have no advice except life is short and vodka is fun.

Lies!

Vodka gives you spots.

What?????

by **Fionnuala_Saoirse** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:39 pm

Call to power wrote:
Disserbia wrote:I turned 22 in May...I have no advice except life is short and vodka is fun.

Lies!

Vodka gives you spots.

It gives me massive guilt the next day even if i've been on my best behaviour.

by **The Blaatschapen** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:39 pm

Fionnuala_Saoirse wrote:
Call to power wrote:
Lies!

Vodka gives you spots.

It gives me massive guilt the next day even if i've been on my best behaviour.

Vodka gave me herpes.

by **Fionnuala_Saoirse** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:40 pm

The Blaatschapen wrote:
Fionnuala_Saoirse wrote:
It gives me massive guilt the next day even if i've been on my best behaviour.

Vodka gave me herpes.

Vodka is a weird name for a hooker. Pfffft, dutches.

by **The Blaatschapen** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:44 pm

Fionnuala_Saoirse wrote:
The Blaatschapen wrote:
Vodka gave me herpes.

Vodka is a weird name for a hooker. Pfffft, dutches.

We didn't name her

by **Nazi Flower Power** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 3:27 pm

Miasto Lodz wrote:8. Do NOT study bullshit like literature, social sciences etc. if you are going to college to improve your job prospects.

Fixed that for you.

by **JuNii** » Mon Jun 25, 2012 6:31 pm

Yewhohohopia wrote:So NSG is mainly just The Young Folks, and some of them are probably about to graduate or whatever. They might want some help and things with Life, Yeah? So let's give them tips or whatever (you young folks absolutely cannot give tips, due to your lack of experience and such).

Tip the First:

- If you got bored during uni, don't do an MA/PhD. It's just the same, with even more sporadic work.

Other Oldsters, let fly with your err wisdom arrows. Like owls. Owls with bows.

Tip: Don't post such statements without facts to back them up.

Yo Old People (>21 years is old, for the purposes of this)

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