Rape Thread [SAFE SPACE - Mod Enforced]

[Tyler Schrakamp]

Solution = add rape to the list of capital crimes. Or at least severe cases.

This is something that is a bane to society and needs to stop.

This.

[Samuraikoku]

My parents and I are making a petition on change.org to get the DA to take the case. I'd love it if (once I put the link up) everyone could please go in and sign it.

Thanks muchly!

I will.

[The Daktanese Technocracy]

Solution = add rape to the list of capital crimes. Or at least severe cases.

This is something that is a bane to society and needs to stop.

This.

No, actually. That's a unjust punishment and makes crimes actually worse.

My parents and I are making a petition on change.org to get the DA to take the case. I'd love it if (once I put the link up) everyone could please go in and sign it.

Thanks muchly!

Sure.

[The Republic of Lanos]

My parents and I are making a petition on change.org to get the DA to take the case. I'd love it if (once I put the link up) everyone could please go in and sign it.

Thanks muchly!

M. Bison: YES! YES!

[Lackadaisical Hopes]

My parents and I are making a petition on change.org to get the DA to take the case. I'd love it if (once I put the link up) everyone could please go in and sign it.

Thanks muchly!

I will.

Same!

[New England and The Maritimes]

I will.

Same!

Yes yes.

[The Blaatschapen]

I also will sign it. But since I'm not American I don't know if it actually counts

[Wikipedia and Universe]

Solution = add rape to the list of capital crimes. Or at least severe cases.

This is something that is a bane to society and needs to stop.

This.

...Not. I agree with SCOTUS: No fatal punishments for non-fatal offenses.

There are many, far better ways to reduce rape. One part of it would include improving our attitudes and response towards it, among other things.

[Homosexy]

I found the house that it happened in on Google Maps. I've been searching for days and I finally found it.
Here it is.

I've been staring at it for the past half hour. It's crazy...

[Ende]

I found the house that it happened in on Google Maps. I've been searching for days and I finally found it.
Here it is.

(Image)

I've been staring at it for the past half hour. It's crazy...

It is a pretty house.

Why do horrible things happen in places like that?

[ONE ARYAN NATION]

Attributing some responsibility to the victim isn't unambiguously evil, in so far as it's responsibility to recover.

[Zeth Rekia]

My parents and I are making a petition on change.org to get the DA to take the case. I'd love it if (once I put the link up) everyone could please go in and sign it.

Thanks muchly!

I shall sign.

[Homosexy]

Attributing some responsibility to the victim isn't unambiguously evil, in so far as it's responsibility to recover.

What?

[Damanucus]

I found the house that it happened in on Google Maps. I've been searching for days and I finally found it.
Here it is.

(Image)

I've been staring at it for the past half hour. It's crazy...

It's a sad thing that the most horrific crime occurs in a most serene place.

I'll see if I can sign the petition as well, but seeing as I'm not American, I may not have much effect. I'll also see if I can get a friend of mine (who is American) to sign it too, since she too has been through the same thing as you.

On that discussion point, I'm going to make this small note: when she (my friend) describe to me what happened after her own rape—most specifically, the reactions of everyone who found out about her being raped—I was a little surprised, and honestly shocked, at the wide range of reactions everyone had. (Warning to all, especially mods: I know I'm opening a can of worms here; I will not, however, be held responsible for the reactions of anyone who posts in response to this.) The more sympathetic reactions I understand, although becoming highly protective may be a bit excessive to me; but some reactions just made me angry (to keep it clean), as it was unsympathetic or just seriously underinformed.

Has anyone noticed anyone react like this (i.e. unsympathetically)?

[Homosexy]

On that discussion point, I'm going to make this small note: when she (my friend) describe to me what happened after her own rape—most specifically, the reactions of everyone who found out about her being raped—I was a little surprised, and honestly shocked, at the wide range of reactions everyone had. (Warning to all, especially mods: I know I'm opening a can of worms here; I will not, however, be held responsible for the reactions of anyone who posts in response to this.) The more sympathetic reactions I understand, although becoming highly protective may be a bit excessive to me; but some reactions just made me angry (to keep it clean), as it was unsympathetic or just seriously underinformed.

Has anyone noticed anyone react like this (i.e. unsympathetically)?

One of my friends told me that I was lying.
My teacher told me that she wanted proof
Another friend just recently told me I need to stop bitching about it
A woman on a plane when I was trying to express to her what an issue this all is, told me it was my fault.
Not to mention! The police investigation where the police officer told me: "well you DID get in the car" "well you DID let him drag you into the house" "well holding onto someone's hips is a natural thing to happen during sex"
ETC. ETC. ET-FUCKING-C.
So many people have made such horrible judgmental comments. It's everywhere. And that's a BIG reason why girls don't tell, because we're looked at as drunk sluts who were asking for it.

[The Daktanese Technocracy]

On that discussion point, I'm going to make this small note: when she (my friend) describe to me what happened after her own rape—most specifically, the reactions of everyone who found out about her being raped—I was a little surprised, and honestly shocked, at the wide range of reactions everyone had. (Warning to all, especially mods: I know I'm opening a can of worms here; I will not, however, be held responsible for the reactions of anyone who posts in response to this.) The more sympathetic reactions I understand, although becoming highly protective may be a bit excessive to me; but some reactions just made me angry (to keep it clean), as it was unsympathetic or just seriously underinformed.

Has anyone noticed anyone react like this (i.e. unsympathetically)?

One of my friends told me that I was lying.
My teacher told me that she wanted proof
Another friend just recently told me I need to stop bitching about it
A woman on a plane when I was trying to express to her what an issue this all is, told me it was my fault.
Not to mention! The police investigation where the police officer told me: "well you DID get in the car" "well you DID let him drag you into the house" "well holding onto someone's hips is a natural thing to happen during sex"
ETC. ETC. ET-FUCKING-C.
So many people have made such horrible judgmental comments. It's everywhere. And that's a BIG reason why girls don't tell, because we're looked at as drunk sluts who were asking for it.

I think judging people, ideas, and things is a good thing. Being a unfounded asshole about it for no reason with no backup to it is a complete other story. Especially when you're the police, or close friends. That's just sick.

[Mesogiria]

This.

...Not. I agree with SCOTUS: No fatal punishments for non-fatal offenses.

There are many, far better ways to reduce rape. One part of it would include improving our attitudes and response towards it, among other things.

I don't know if this has been brought up, but making rape a capital offense has the perverse effect of giving the rapist an incentive to murder the victim, since he isn't going to get a worse sentence for murder, and dead people talk less than live ones.

It's a back and forth thing, certainly, because quiet rape victims are less noticeable than dead bodies, but it is a problem.

[Damanucus]

On that discussion point, I'm going to make this small note: when she (my friend) describe to me what happened after her own rape—most specifically, the reactions of everyone who found out about her being raped—I was a little surprised, and honestly shocked, at the wide range of reactions everyone had. (Warning to all, especially mods: I know I'm opening a can of worms here; I will not, however, be held responsible for the reactions of anyone who posts in response to this.) The more sympathetic reactions I understand, although becoming highly protective may be a bit excessive to me; but some reactions just made me angry (to keep it clean), as it was unsympathetic or just seriously underinformed.

Has anyone noticed anyone react like this (i.e. unsympathetically)?

One of my friends told me that I was lying.
My teacher told me that she wanted proof
Another friend just recently told me I need to stop bitching about it
A woman on a plane when I was trying to express to her what an issue this all is, told me it was my fault.
Not to mention! The police investigation where the police officer told me: "well you DID get in the car" "well you DID let him drag you into the house" "well holding onto someone's hips is a natural thing to happen during sex"
ETC. ETC. ET-FUCKING-C.
So many people have made such horrible judgmental comments. It's everywhere. And that's a BIG reason why girls don't tell, because we're looked at as drunk sluts who were asking for it.

And hence my point. Some people are seriously misinformed/underinformed about rape and the psychological effects it has on those who have been raped. (Hell, I only just begin to see it because I can visualize it in scary detail, and imagine the effects it could have on a person—nobody ask, please.) The worst are those who simply equate rape with sex, which is hell in a handbasket when they also subscribe to a belief where chastity until marriage is a virtue (and they exist, trust me).

On an additional note, and because I know someone will say it, if they haven't already (and I thank Homosexy for giving me the ammunition to say this), but can those people say a girl (or guy) was asking for it if they were nine years old?

[French Union]

Solution = add rape to the list of capital crimes. Or at least severe cases.

This is something that is a bane to society and needs to stop.

If someone is going to face capital punishment for rape, they might as well kill the person.

[The Dalekss]

My parents and I are making a petition on change.org to get the DA to take the case. I'd love it if (once I put the link up) everyone could please go in and sign it.

Thanks muchly!

ja ja ja,exterminate him

[Nemean Lions]

My stepmother was raped before she was 10 years old. By a close friend of the family. She went through so much growing up, and it's unbelievable how much pain she went through. 

She is one of the strongest women I have ever met. I respect her so much for that strength and how she dealt with the pain. 

I believe that the subject of rape is far too important to be left alone. It is so unfortunately common that it's hard to be considered taboo. 

In part of my family, victims of rape are seen as almost "deserving" of such pain for "hanging out with the wrong people" and "making the wrong decisions" about their lives. They see every victim as a person with low standards that should simply accept the consequences of their life choices without complaint. 

What my family fails to realize is that victims are just that: victims. They are women who were forced into a situation that they were not able to get out of. 

I mean, how the hell does one expect a 10-year-old girl to fight a 200 lb. man? 

Exactly. It's nearly impossible. 

Rape is a crime and should be treated as such. To what extent is debatable, and should be discussed with no qualms or fear of crossing lines. 

[Wikipedia and Universe]

Attributing some responsibility to the victim isn't unambiguously evil, in so far as it's responsibility to recover.

What?

I think he means that telling a victim that they are the one who is principally responsible for recovering and retaking control of their lives should not be confused with blaming them for what happened to them. A distraught victim who has been constantly judged and ridiculed (you would know) might be inadvertently conditioned to interpret things they hear negatively, and consequently take things the wrong way. For example, someone saying "You can't let this run your life, you have to face your problem and take control of your situation" might be interpreted as "Stop whining and get over it, you wuss" by someone who has been psychologically worn down by all that judgement, ridicule, victim-blaming, etc.

Of course, I'm being generous here and assuming good faith/intentions on the part of OAN.

[Homosexy]

What?

I think he means that telling a victim that they are the one who is principally responsible for recovering and retaking control of their lives should not be confused with blaming them for what happened to them. A distraught victim who has been constantly judged and ridiculed (you would know) might be inadvertently conditioned to interpret things they hear negatively, and consequently take things the wrong way. For example, someone saying "You can't let this run your life, you have to face your problem and take control of your situation" might be interpreted as "Stop whining and get over it, you wuss" by someone who has been psychologically worn down by all that judgement, ridicule, victim-blaming, etc.

Of course, I'm being generous here and assuming good faith/intentions on the part of OAN.

Hm. I think I agree with that, but it's different for each person. Some people just need to let it ruin their life for a little while to get over it. And it's not something you can "get over", either, but I believe it is something you can put aside, although I'm not sure it's something you can ever move past.
(oh and btw, the post I made on the last page that kind of relates to this: his literal words were "bitching" and "acting like the world is going to end", so this is not what that was)

What I was told I should do was drop out for the quarter, and go home, because of the emotional stress on top of the school stress. But I looked at that as letting him win, so I stayed. And it's been really hard, and I don't know if I'm going to make it through all my classes passing, let alone with good grades, but I stayed. I don't believe that there is anything that happens in life that you have not been prepared for, either through your own experiences, or who you are, or the people around you. You are PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY CAPABLE of doing ANYTHING. All you need is some motivation and some willpower.
And I have bad days. Days where I get up in the morning and literally feel like I cannot get out of bed. But does that stop me from going to the gym or doing what I need to do? No way. Because fuck that shit. I'm a big believer in pushing through something until it's done, and to keep pushing, even if it takes the rest of your life.

Now I also don't think that this method works for everyone. Sometimes people just need to give in for a little while, get out all their emotional stuff instead of pushing it aside like I do, and then move on with their life. And while I think it's fair to say "you can't let it take over your life", I don't think that's a good thing to say to a rape victim either soon after the event, or when they're distressed. Because, sure, if a year later, or even 6 months later maybe, the person is still lying in bed being miserable, I think it's time for someone to say something, but healing is individual. You can't tell someone else how to heal. And do you think we WANT it to take over our life? Of course not. But that process is different for each and every single person.
<3

[The Daktanese Technocracy]

And it's not something you can "get over", either, but I believe it is something you can put aside, although I'm not sure it's something you can ever move past.

Well, personally, I have no negative feelings towards my rape scenario. (I do get a little nervous when I see my rapist, however.) So I guess that would qualify as "Getting over" or "Moving past" it. There might be multiple reasons why, I think. Such as the other things I suffered through as a kid which still have me in fear today overshadowing it, and the fact that it's been a pretty long time.

[Homosexy]

And it's not something you can "get over", either, but I believe it is something you can put aside, although I'm not sure it's something you can ever move past.

Well, personally, I have no negative feelings towards my rape scenario. (I do get a little nervous when I see my rapist, however.) So I guess that would qualify as "Getting over" or "Moving past" it. There might be multiple reasons why, I think. Such as the other things I suffered through as a kid which still have me in fear today overshadowing it, and the fact that it's been a pretty long time.

I would almost venture to say (and this is just my opinion, so don't everybody jump me with how wrong I am at the same time) that I would rather it happened to me as a child, if it had to happen at all. I imagine, there would be a lot less guilt, a lot less emotional trauma, if it happened when I was a kid, because I wouldn't have understood until I was older. Now, when I got older, and understood, that would fuck shit up pretty bad, but to be older and while it's happening knowing that you're being raped and you're probably going to die, and then having to continue to be doing that later... I dunno. I think that it would have been a lot easier to live normal life if it had happened to me as a kid. But that's just me thinking now, and I can't know for sure