NationStates

The Blaatschapen wrote:

Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:Just warning you now, OP, don't be surprised when trolls (and people who legitimately hold the beliefs) show up and start saying you deserved it or that you're lying, especially because of your Nation name.

I have the feeling that those would be swiftly dealt with. Either by the community here or by the mods.

You're damn right they will be. I just wanted to give the OP fair warning anyway so she can prepare herself.

Herskerstad wrote:

Homosexy wrote:Last Saturday, I became a victim and now a survivor of a rape. Before this, I did not know about this world that I would soon be thrown into where more than 3 out of the 10 people I told, replied with "me too".

That's horrible. You have my deepest condolences.

On a somewhat irrelevant note, have the police caught the bastard yet?

Not yet. He was not someone I knew, which makes the case even more brutal, and also even more difficult to solve.

Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:<hug> The rest of us are here to support you, though. Promise.

100%

Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:

The Blaatschapen wrote:
I have the feeling that those would be swiftly dealt with. Either by the community here or by the mods.

You're damn right they will be. I just wanted to give the OP fair warning anyway so she can prepare herself.

I'm prepared. It's nothing I'm not prepared to hear from a defense attorney. Thank you, though. <3

The Republique Dardania and Gazmania wrote:

Homosexy wrote:Last Saturday, I became a victim and now a survivor of a rape.

You have my sincerest condolences.

Please know that NS is by large a good hearted community and, as such, we're all here to support you.

Homosexy wrote:Last Saturday, I became a victim and now a survivor of a rape.

I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy what happened to you.

I'm pulling for you to get through both that and the aftermath.

I've never been through such a situation. But my sister has. She was date raped while drunk, got pregnant because of it and had an abortion.

If you're drunk, you legally can't consent. And it'd be much appreciated if those stupid male oriented sitcoms quit making lighthearted jokes about getting a woman drunk in order to have sex with her.

The Blaatschapen wrote:

Hardened Pyrokinetics wrote:Just warning you now, OP, don't be surprised when trolls (and people who legitimately hold the beliefs) show up and start saying you deserved it or that you're lying, especially because of your Nation name.

I have the feeling that those would be swiftly dealt with. Either by the community here or by the mods.

Indeed. I've had my own experience with such pricks. That sort of shit should never fly anywhere, let alone on some internet forum.

Far from a complete solution,
Thing is, while I can place myself in the shoes of the victim, I can't even begin to fathom what goes through the offender's head that makes them want to do that. That said, rather than capital punishment, I'd suggest easier access to therapy and medicine, and better education and counseling in schools. Not just for rape victims, but for would-be offenders. If people get treatment for their problems, it can be prevented instead of punished.

Having been a longtime sufferer of sleep paralysis, I can sorta identify.

There's a scene in a version of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo where the rape scene is very graphic. Should it be allowed in there?
I'd say yes. Rape is in its nature graphic, blunt and horrible. When it is displayed anywhere, it should be portrayed as such, as not to delude our understanding of its reality.
Why is it that girls and men are so ashamed when they've been raped? Why is it such a taboo subject? Should it be talked about more than it already is?
Probably because people don't like it when their bodies are violated without their permission. Sex is supposed to be intimate, or at least enjoyable. Rape steals that from someone, for at least the moment and for as long as their life. It tends to make one feel as if something important to them has been taken.

Probably because sex is taboo in most societies today, and by extension, so is criminal sex.

Yes, it should be. People who have been raped should definitely open up and share their experiences if and when they feel comfortable doing so as to spread the horrors of it, and make the populace more aware of the effects of rape on people.
Are the forms of awareness that we're using now working?
I think so, but not to the degree I'd have hoped for.

Best of luck in these trying times. Wish I could be of assistance in some way.

Ganos Lao wrote:

The Blaatschapen wrote:
I have the feeling that those would be swiftly dealt with. Either by the community here or by the mods.

Indeed. I've had my own experience with such pricks. That sort of shit should never fly anywhere, let alone on some internet forum.

It will fly more often on an internet forum because of the anonymity. That said, I know that NSG has come together in moments like these Homosexy, for what it's worth, you have my full support.

Ratateague wrote:Far from a complete solution,

(Image)

Thing is, while I can place myself in the shoes of the victim, I can't even begin to fathom what goes through the offender's head that makes them want to do that. That said, rather than capital punishment, I'd suggest easier access to therapy, and better education and counseling in schools.

Capital punishments won't help us learn why the offender do this. This is the reason why don't just outright kill them or any other criminal for that matter.

I understand that everyone is angry, but what we should focus instead is to how to prevent others from becoming the offenders.

Soviet Russia Republic wrote:Why?

Because I believe in freedom of speech, especially in art. If these things are not portrayed, or restricted in how they are portrayed, you are restricting how people can interpret life and aspects of life.

The Blaatschapen wrote: Homosexy, for what it's worth, you have my full support.

And mine. I'm sorry for what happened, and I hope whoever did it gets justice served to them.

This is a complicated social problem that needs a complicated social solution. Gender identity and implied boundaries play a huge role, and those need to be destroyed. We need to stop teaching children that men and women are "different" from each other. We need to stop expecting them to wear different clothes from one another, to do different things from one another, we need to stop with any and all actions that imply some supposed "great divide" between genders.

That's the fundamental way to stop the problem; we teach boys that girls are people just like them, and not that they are different from them. From there, any mindset that sees women as objects becomes much, much harder to maintain within yourself.

The Blaatschapen wrote:

Ganos Lao wrote:
Indeed. I've had my own experience with such pricks. That sort of shit should never fly anywhere, let alone on some internet forum.

It will fly more often on an internet forum because of the anonymity. That said, I know that NSG has come together in moments like these Homosexy, for what it's worth, you have my full support.

Sadly that is the case. I remember when, being in Xanadou, we had this guy who glorified raping women and repeatedly said he wasn't trolling, that he actually believed in the "merits" of such a repugnant act.

That said, I know that any internet forum also does have its good parts. Ours here is full of people who are able to come together and help someone out.

Ceannairceach wrote:There's a scene in a version of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo where the rape scene is very graphic. Should it be allowed in there?
I'd say yes. Rape is in its nature graphic, blunt and horrible. When it is displayed anywhere, it should be portrayed as such, as not to delude our understanding of its reality.
Why is it that girls and men are so ashamed when they've been raped? Why is it such a taboo subject? Should it be talked about more than it already is?
Probably because people don't like it when their bodies are violated without their permission. Sex is supposed to be intimate, or at least enjoyable. Rape steals that from someone, for at least the moment and for as long as their life. It tends to make one feel as if something important to them has been taken.

Probably because sex is taboo in most societies today, and by extension, so is criminal sex.

Yes, it should be. People who have been raped should definitely open up and share their experiences if and when they feel comfortable doing so as to spread the horrors of it, and make the populace more aware of the effects of rape on people.

I agree with all of this.

I think that we should always try to instill awareness in both men and women about rape and its effects, and that we shouldn't censor the various forms of media which attempt to depict the crime and its effects. It is more better to address the issue then to sweep it under the carpet and hope it goes away.

I myself was sexually abused by my grandmother for 4 years between the age of 8 and 12. I was not her only target. It has taken me many years to overcome it and try to put it behind me, and although it is always in the background, I have now found a girl that I feel comfortable enough around and who I truly love.

My grandmother was never punished, as I was too ashamed to go to the police. Although I have seen many councillors, doctors, psychologists about it.

Sadly, I know a fair few other victims of either rape or sexual abuse. The punishment in Britain against such incidents is far too soft on these matters, and there definitely needs to be some sort of shake up.

New England and The Maritimes wrote:This is a complicated social problem that needs a complicated social solution. Gender identity and implied boundaries play a huge role, and those need to be destroyed. We need to stop teaching children that men and women are "different" from each other. We need to stop expecting them to wear different clothes from one another, to do different things from one another, we need to stop with any and all actions that imply some supposed "great divide" between genders.

That's the fundamental way to stop the problem; we teach boys that girls are people just like them, and not that they are different from them. From there, any mindset that sees women as objects becomes much, much harder to maintain within yourself.

Have to ask how this stops male rape though. ._.

The Blaatschapen wrote:

Ganos Lao wrote:
Indeed. I've had my own experience with such pricks. That sort of shit should never fly anywhere, let alone on some internet forum.

It will fly more often on an internet forum because of the anonymity. That said, I know that NSG has come together in moments like these Homosexy, for what it's worth, you have my full support.

Aye, and mine.

Pottslande wrote:

New England and The Maritimes wrote:This is a complicated social problem that needs a complicated social solution. Gender identity and implied boundaries play a huge role, and those need to be destroyed. We need to stop teaching children that men and women are "different" from each other. We need to stop expecting them to wear different clothes from one another, to do different things from one another, we need to stop with any and all actions that imply some supposed "great divide" between genders.

That's the fundamental way to stop the problem; we teach boys that girls are people just like them, and not that they are different from them. From there, any mindset that sees women as objects becomes much, much harder to maintain within yourself.

Have to ask how this stops male rape though. ._.

Same basic premise. Most male rape is homosexual in nature, so basically it involves breaking down similar barriers involving sexual orientation. Since women are by far the majority demographic of rape victims, gender identity as it relates to male-female interaction should take the lead.

Homosexy wrote:

Former Wellboneland wrote:What? You are serious? They are equal to murderers.

I feel like, when someone kills someone else, they have a reason. No matter how sick and twisted, or irrelevant the reason is, to them, it's a reason. There is no reason and no excuse to do this to someone's life. Ever. No matter what. A lot of rape victims, by the end of it, wish they were dead, and I think that's far worse than killing someone.

There technically is a (sick and twisted) reason for it, and it's a desire for domination.

Most rapists are egomaniacs or megalomaniacs.

You have my sincerest condolences. That's awful.

There's a scene in a version of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo where the rape scene is very graphic. Should it be allowed in there?

Yes. Censoring scenes of rape won't cut down on rape whatsoever.

Why is it that girls and men are so ashamed when they've been raped? Why is it such a taboo subject? Should it be talked about more than it already is?

I'm not quite sure why people are ashamed. It probably should be talked about more. I think it should be classified as a capital crime.

Are the forms of awareness that we're using now working?

I think so. However, to cut down on occurrences of rape, make it punishable by death. Rapists are fuckers that should be shot. Simple.

New England and The Maritimes wrote:

Pottslande wrote:
Have to ask how this stops male rape though. ._.

Same basic premise. Most male rape is homosexual in nature, so basically it involves breaking down similar barriers involving sexual orientation. Since women are by far the majority demographic of rape victims, gender identity as it relates to male-female interaction should take the lead.

Ok...

uh....

I may have this wrong, but are you suggesting that if you remove gender identity, you will no longer have any form of sexuality?

I know gender and sex are two different things. In fact, that's my point. But I may have read it wrong...

Also, I firmly believe most male rapes by females are unreported, so that statistic might not be fully accurate.

On the whole issue of shame, I once saw this news story about this girl at some university. She had been gang raped by some guys, and she reported it. It resulted in a couple new rules at the school, and a whole trial where basically they favored the guys' viewpoints and let them off easy. Plus, she was on a swim team, and the new rules affected the swim team, so her team started just hating her for it.

I really don't understand why this crap goes on, but it does.