Rape Thread [SAFE SPACE - Mod Enforced]

[Neohippies]

I'm very embarrassed and ashamed for living in a country where rapists get 2 or 3 months of parole. Not even prison. And even though they could get prison sentences, they are treated like some fucking kings. Guess what country. You guessed it folks, it's Finland!

[Conserative Morality]

2.I haven't seen that movie, but I would say that a graphic rape scene was probably a poor choice. Most importantly, from a perspective of it being an unnecessary thing to do that might cause real distress to viewers.

Sometimes distress is what a movie is going for.

Less importantly, from a cinematographic perspective, something more tasteful, perhaps even off camera with simply shadows shown, would like be much more dramatic and effective than violence, which is a thing we have been in a big way desensitized towards.

Er, in which case, wouldn't the 'more dramatic and effective' version cause more distress?

And being 'tasteful' isn't always the goal of film makers, and one should almost be certain that it should not be.

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

<hug> Oh my god that is horrible news. I'm so, so sorry.

[Norstal]

I'm curious as to where this happened, but if you don't want to talk about it, it's okay. I'm thinking it can happen everywhere, but I just want to confirm it.

It can happen anywhere. It does happen everywhere. For me, I was taken from right outside of my campus to a house in a neighboring town.

Thank you for replying then, and I really am sorry that this happened to you.

[Former Wellboneland]

I'm very embarrassed and ashamed for living in a country where rapists get 2 or 3 months of parole. Not even prison. And even though they could get prison sentences, they are treated like some fucking kings. Guess what country. You guessed it folks, it's Finland!

As my mom, (Who is from Sweden) said,
"The prisoners got fed more than I did."

[Shanix]

I apologize if it has been asked before Homosexy, but just because I'm wondering, you've contacted the police, ja?

[Inkarzikan]

Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

Also, I think it depends on how brutal it is, if it should be removed or not. I've seen rape scenes where they don't show anything. Just, knock out the person, and then onto the next scene, when they wake up.

[Homosexy]

I apologize if it has been asked before Homosexy, but just because I'm wondering, you've contacted the police, ja?

Oh yes. Absolutely. There's an investigation underway and everything. They've collected DNA, etc. I wouldn't be on here talking if there wasn't an investigation going on.

[Cerberion]

I guess I can understand why rape victims find it hard to come forward. First off there is the event itself, where it has to be sickening to the victim to be invaded and dominated in such a way. I am sure there will be self recrimination aspects of whether they did something to trigger the event. Then there is the sheer knowledge that this creature had complete control of them and took away that which is most fundamentally private.

Then comes the added complexity when if they do report it, they have to undergo another invasive process to gather evidence. Even then it's not done when they have to face the perpetrator in court.

It's an inhuman act to perpatrate against another human being and I can not even conceive of how any human being could take the steps to perform a rape.

As for how to control the issue, rape awareness is of course important but I am not sure that it has any effect on the number of rapes that occur each year. I can't imagine just how many go unreported. I'm probably going to have to start prostate examinations this year and the idea of that is enough to make me nauseous.

I can not even comprehend just what a rape victim has to go through mentally.

I don't know that capital punishment is the answer, but I think life without parole would be satisfactory.
I'd also like to in some way protect the victims from having to be exposed and the entire thing rehashed in the public eye.
I don't think that is possible however. All I can say is that I have massive respect for any rape victim that has the courage to speak out against the crime. That will empower other victims to have the strength to stand up to those that have performed this evil against them.

I suppose it just has to come down to individual strength and supporting other victims.

Ideally, I'd like to see the perpatrators castraded but I suspect that won't ever be allowed.

[Shanix]

I apologize if it has been asked before Homosexy, but just because I'm wondering, you've contacted the police, ja?

Oh yes. Absolutely. There's an investigation underway and everything. They've collected DNA, etc. I wouldn't be on here talking if there wasn't an investigation going on.

Alright, had to be sure. I had a friend who passed, and she'd fallen into a spiral of drugs and depression after she had been raped, hoping to keep the memory away, and never reported it. Wouldn't want that to happen to someone else.

Anyways, back on OP questions. To answer the second, while I'm not a psychology major, I do believe it's because of how age-old interactions are. While males in tribes would be open and get rid of people, females, in older times (Older times, because Jebus knows I'll catch so much fire for saying it happens now and generalizing all women), women'd shun others to get rid of them. And if you've been raped (Just speaking in second-person, not directed at'cha), other women of your "tribe" would have reason to shun you away.

That, or it's the sudden change in mindset from safe world to realization of danger and threats. Again, no generalization, but, it's likely something along those lines.

[1000 Cats]

Rape is a rather complex phenomenon. The reason it's shameful for men is because it's rather emasculating. The reason it's shameful for women, I think, while similar, could be more complex. I hope I don't offend anyone here, but I mentioned in another thread the idea that women may be predisposed towards submitting in violent sexual situations. Simply a survival mechanism: we don't really have very good means of defending ourselves, so evolutionarily speaking it's better to survive and be raped than to die. However, this makes many women wonder if that involuntary submission means they really did "want it" on some level. That fear and confusion is what a lot of women who do not report a rape cite as their reason.

I think rape should become less of a taboo subject. As the OP stated, it's actually really prevalent, but we never know it because no one ever talks about it. It should be treated as the crime it is, with a very real perpetrator and victim, the same way as is murder.

You are not offending anyone. The survival mechanism that you spoke of is exactly how I survived, because had I viciously fought back, I am very confident that I would be dead.

While I understand why women don't report and don't say anything (my aunt actually said to my mother that she would be embarrassed and that she couldn't believe I was telling anyone), I disagree very much with that course of action. Victims blame themselves on some level. We always will. And I think that letting people know what has happened to us, is really hard.This thread was really difficult for me to make. Typing this brings tears to my eyes. It's really hard. But I think that every single one of us needs to come out as publicly as we can. Faces need to be attached to statistics so we're not just thinking about some girl that we don't know that this happened to a year ago, and instead it becomes about a girl that we know, who tries to be a good person, and who this happened to a week and a half ago. That's why I've come out so publicly to some of my friends and on here. I don't want this to happen to anyone else, ever because I can't even begin to explain how horrifying it is. And I think that girls who this has happened to need to understand that to stop this problem, we need to start coming out and talking about it, not just for our own wellbeing, but for the wellbeing of the other girls and guys around us who this happens to every day.

EDIT: Also, when I see your nation name, I imagine 1000 cats sitting around a computer.

Well, I admire you greatly for making this thread, especially so soon. You're right: victims do need to talk about this, not only for the sake of other victims out there, to show that they're not alone, that they are in fact victims, and that the crime must be reported; but also for their own sake. Today, we're encouraged to talk about a lot of things that fifty years ago we were not: we're supposed to tell our friends about our depression and suicidal thoughts, to talk about things like alcoholism and drug abuse, all this stuff, and it does help, a lot. We are not as of yet encouraged to talk about rape. I see rape victims quite a lot, and I see the long-term effects; if these poor girls had been told and shown that they are in fact victims, that they aren't to blame, and that they really can talk to people about it, be it friends, family, or a counselor, they would be doing far better off today. So I think you're doing a splendid thing by making this thread, both for yourself and for others, and I know good things will come to you.

On male rape: increasingly we're beginning to realize that it's fairly common, but it's not only the whole, "you mean you didn't enjoy it? you fag!" thing that prevents reports, but also because male rape tends to be less violent, when perpetrated by women, generally involving drugging the victim. This, of course, whether the victim is male or female, makes the situation even more confusing.

Oh, and it's just one cat. Sort of at a computer, but more cutting off the circulation to my feet.

[Homosexy]

I guess I can understand why rape victims find it hard to come forward. First off there is the event itself, where it has to be sickening to the victim to be invaded and dominated in such a way. I am sure there will be self recrimination aspects of whether they did something to trigger the event. Then there is the sheer knowledge that this creature had complete control of them and took away that which is most fundamentally private.

Then comes the added complexity when if they do report it, they have to undergo another invasive process to gather evidence. Even then it's not done when they have to face the perpetrator in court.

Amen. None of it's easy. There are no words for how hard it is.

It's an inhuman act to perpatrate against another human being and I can not even conceive of how any human being could take the steps to perform a rape.

As for how to control the issue, rape awareness is of course important but I am not sure that it has any effect on the number of rapes that occur each year. I can't imagine just how many go unreported. I'm probably going to have to start prostate examinations this year and the idea of that is enough to make me nauseous.

I can not even comprehend just what a rape victim has to go through mentally.

Out of the victim's that I've talked to, and what I've gone through, pretty much we're angry for the rest of our lives, and we'll always blame ourselves to some extent. Just a glimpse into it all.

I don't know that capital punishment is the answer, but I think life without parole would be satisfactory.
I'd also like to in some way protect the victims from having to be exposed and the entire thing rehashed in the public eye.
I don't think that is possible however. All I can say is that I have massive respect for any rape victim that has the courage to speak out against the crime. That will empower other victims to have the strength to stand up to those that have performed this evil against them.

I suppose it just has to come down to individual strength and supporting other victims.

Ideally, I'd like to see the perpatrators castraded but I suspect that won't ever be allowed.

In my opinion, rapists deserve capital punishment FAR more than murderers, and I think that they should all be castrated and burned, but... that's probably not going to happen either.

[Wazkyraque]

I know you've probably heard it a thousand times by the time I post this, but I'm so sorry such a thing had happened to you; I've had a family member who has had such an experience too

There's a scene in a version of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo where the rape scene is very graphic. Should it be allowed in there?

Hm, I'd say yes, but perhaps they could have a less graphic version of the film where the scene is removed; but I doubt a company will do that

Why is it that girls and men are so ashamed when they've been raped?

Men, probably because they think it emasculates them; Though I've not the slightest idea about women, It's probably best I don't try to make up or guess something.

Why is it such a taboo subject?

Because people think that there could be a chance that there is a person that may have had a personal experience dealing with rape [a victim, family of a victim] and may not want to remind another person of that experience.

Should it be talked about more than it already is?

Definitely, It's absolutely horrible.

Are the forms of awareness that we're using now working?

I don't think so.

[Former Wellboneland]

I guess I can understand why rape victims find it hard to come forward. First off there is the event itself, where it has to be sickening to the victim to be invaded and dominated in such a way. I am sure there will be self recrimination aspects of whether they did something to trigger the event. Then there is the sheer knowledge that this creature had complete control of them and took away that which is most fundamentally private.

Then comes the added complexity when if they do report it, they have to undergo another invasive process to gather evidence. Even then it's not done when they have to face the perpetrator in court.

Amen. None of it's easy. There are no words for how hard it is.

It's an inhuman act to perpatrate against another human being and I can not even conceive of how any human being could take the steps to perform a rape.

As for how to control the issue, rape awareness is of course important but I am not sure that it has any effect on the number of rapes that occur each year. I can't imagine just how many go unreported. I'm probably going to have to start prostate examinations this year and the idea of that is enough to make me nauseous.

I can not even comprehend just what a rape victim has to go through mentally.

Out of the victim's that I've talked to, and what I've gone through, pretty much we're angry for the rest of our lives, and we'll always blame ourselves to some extent. Just a glimpse into it all.

I don't know that capital punishment is the answer, but I think life without parole would be satisfactory.
I'd also like to in some way protect the victims from having to be exposed and the entire thing rehashed in the public eye.
I don't think that is possible however. All I can say is that I have massive respect for any rape victim that has the courage to speak out against the crime. That will empower other victims to have the strength to stand up to those that have performed this evil against them.

I suppose it just has to come down to individual strength and supporting other victims.

Ideally, I'd like to see the perpatrators castraded but I suspect that won't ever be allowed.

In my opinion, rapists deserve capital punishment FAR more than murderers, and I think that they should all be castrated and burned, but... that's probably not going to happen either.

What? You are serious? They are equal to murderers.

[Gravlen]

Last Saturday, I became a victim and now a survivor of a rape.

Sorry to hear that something like this happened to you.

There's a scene in a version of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo where the rape scene is very graphic. Should it be allowed in there?

Yes. But punters should be aware that the movie contains such a scene.

Anything else that people want to throw in, go ahead.

Well, when it comes to punishment, I'm not in favour of the draconian style. I also don't agree that it's akin to murder. However, it should be punished like any other serious type of assault - and the punishments should be serious.

[Shofercia]

I'm so sorry to hear that.

GDT - I think it should be, because people need to know what's going on. Most Americans didn't know what Vietnam War was truly like until Apocalypse Now came out. Statistics don't cause much emotion. Faces do. And then somethings gets done about the issue.

I don't understand why others would be ashamed, and I think you're pretty damn cool for having the guts to talk about on NSG. Having never been raped, that's the only thing I can say in response to that question.

Other comments - I think Sublime had a song about it.

[Ecans]

It is not possible for me to put into words how sad and angry I feel about what happened to you.

[Gravlen]

There's a scene in a version of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo where the rape scene is very graphic. Should it be allowed in there?

I'm reading that book right now and I'm going to ignore any arguments pertaining to this as to not be spoiled. >_>

If you like it, don't be fooled into thinking that the next two books are as good. In my opinion, they're not. Second book is OK, third book is simply not good.

[Gauthier]

Solution = add rape to the list of capital crimes. Or at least severe cases.

This is something that is a bane to society and needs to stop.

Actualy it is proven that its not the punishment that's the best deterent its the risk of being caught. We have to make sure there's rape awareness and naturaly a good police to defend against it.

Not to mention making rape a capital crime gives no incentives for rapists to leave their victims alive.

[Basking Turtles]

In my opinion, rapists deserve capital punishment FAR more than murderers, and I think that they should all be castrated and burned, but... that's probably not going to happen either.

It seems to me that taking someone's life is still worse than hurting someone.

There is also the problem of people being wrongly accused (and convicted) of rape. It happens. So I'd suggest being a bit careful about extreme measures such as capital punishment.

I do realise all this is easy for me to say, as I've had no personal experience with rape at all.

[Herskerstad]

Last Saturday, I became a victim and now a survivor of a rape. Before this, I did not know about this world that I would soon be thrown into where more than 3 out of the 10 people I told, replied with "me too".

That's horrible. You have my deepest condolences.

On a somewhat irrelevant note, have the police caught the bastard yet?

[Hardened Pyrokinetics]

Just warning you now, OP, don't be surprised when trolls (and people who legitimately hold the beliefs) show up and start saying you deserved it or that you're lying, especially because of your Nation name.

<hug> The rest of us are here to support you, though. Promise.

[The Blaatschapen]

Just warning you now, OP, don't be surprised when trolls (and people who legitimately hold the beliefs) show up and start saying you deserved it or that you're lying, especially because of your Nation name.

I have the feeling that those would be swiftly dealt with. Either by the community here or by the mods.

[Homosexy]

What? You are serious? They are equal to murderers.

I feel like, when someone kills someone else, they have a reason. No matter how sick and twisted, or irrelevant the reason is, to them, it's a reason. There is no reason and no excuse to do this to someone's life. Ever. No matter what. A lot of rape victims, by the end of it, wish they were dead, and I think that's far worse than killing someone.

[Soviet Russia Republic]

There's a scene in a version of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo where the rape scene is very graphic. Should it be allowed in there?

Yes.

Why?