Rape Thread [SAFE SPACE - Mod Enforced]

[The Steel Magnolia]

You absolutely have my deepest sympathies. It might be worthwhile to copy paste your post here as well.

[Nimilia]

There is no notion of consent amongst men

Also, I completely disagree with this.. where did you get that idea?

If you don't consent, it's rape. If it's rape, you can report it. This is also pretty much what the law says.

[Nailed to the Perch]

While I certainly appreciate the difficulty of the situation, you haven't really given us an idea of what this thread is supposed to discuss. There are many places online where you can tell your stories, NSG doesn't tend to be one of them.

I suck ass with OPs. I suppose I think that there should be a discussion of the best strategies to prevent rape in our culture and reverse the cultural mindset which is surpisingly OK with rape. It could segway into a discussion of any kind. Im not looking for any real sympathy, ive received that from my awesome friends.

Adding a line to the effect of "What do you think are the best strategies to prevent rape and reverse the cultural mindset which supports rape?" to your OP would do a lot to make sure this thread stays open.

I will warn you, though - if this thread stays open, you may not enjoy reading it very much. NSG is...not the greatest on this subject.

[Individuality-ness]

I suck ass with OPs. I suppose I think that there should be a discussion of the best strategies to prevent rape in our culture and reverse the cultural mindset which is surpisingly OK with rape. It could segway into a discussion of any kind. Im not looking for any real sympathy, ive received that from my awesome friends.

Adding a line to the effect of "What do you think are the best strategies to prevent rape and reverse the cultural mindset which supports rape?" to your OP would do a lot to make sure this thread stays open.

I will warn you, though - if this thread stays open, you may not enjoy reading it very much. NSG is...not the greatest on this subject.

Or, rather, a good number of summer NSGers are really bad about this subject. It will suck balls. It will make you wonder where all of the asshatry comes from. And it will reaffirm the need for feminism as a whole.

[Risottia]

Now this pertains to the struggle for women,

No, it pertains to the struggle for humanity (independently from sex, gender, orientation etc) against violent people and criminals (independently from their sex, gender, orientation etc).

it will reaffirm the need for feminism as a whole.

Until some "men's-rights-activist" pops up and begins to yell "omg discrimination". Yes, we get that lot here, too.

[Potenco]

Now this pertains to the struggle for women,

No, it pertains to the struggle for humanity (independently from sex, gender, orientation etc) against violent people and criminals (independently from their sex, gender, orientation etc).

Absolutely!

[Individuality-ness]

it will reaffirm the need for feminism as a whole.

Until some "men's-rights-activist" pops up and begins to yell "omg discrimination". Yes, we get that lot here, too.

Yep, we will. Threads about feminist topics always seem to attract the really, really anti-feminist side of the MRAs.

It'll still reaffirm the need for feminism as a whole though.

[Risottia]

Until some "men's-rights-activist" pops up and begins to yell "omg discrimination". Yes, we get that lot here, too.

Yep, we will. Threads about feminist topics always seem to attract the really, really anti-feminist side of the MRAs.

It'll still reaffirm the need for feminism as a whole though.

And you can count on my support.

[Dread Lady Nathicana]

In an effort to help keep this going in the right direction, and to not shut down a valid angle on the overall conversation, I've merged the newer thread with the older rape thread. I think most of us can agree that rape is rape, regardless of who it happens to. And as such, those who've been victimized by it ought to have an equal right to support and the opportunity to discuss.

[Potenco]

OK I freaked out there. Sorry Joe Biden country.

[Nore Empire]

In an effort to help keep this going in the right direction, and to not shut down a valid angle on the overall conversation, I've merged the newer thread with the older rape thread. I think most of us can agree that rape is rape, regardless of who it happens to. And as such, those who've been victimized by it ought to have an equal right to support and the opportunity to discuss.

Thanks, Dread!

[Individuality-ness]

In an effort to help keep this going in the right direction, and to not shut down a valid angle on the overall conversation, I've merged the newer thread with the older rape thread. I think most of us can agree that rape is rape, regardless of who it happens to. And as such, those who've been victimized by it ought to have an equal right to support and the opportunity to discuss.

Nathi, question: the original thread might have gone in the direction of discussing rape culture, which may not be appropriate for the in-general support thread. So would it be permissible if someone made an OP discussing rape culture as a whole?

(No, I don't know if I want to OP THAT thread. Still.)

[Individuality-ness]

Yep, we will. Threads about feminist topics always seem to attract the really, really anti-feminist side of the MRAs.

It'll still reaffirm the need for feminism as a whole though.

And you can count on my support.

Now, this is the [safe space] thread, we shouldn't be debating rape culture here. That would not be appropriate.

[Nore Empire]

And you can count on my support.

Now, this is the [safe space] thread, we shouldn't be debating rape culture here. That would not be appropriate.

Agreed. It would be wrong and sick and a myriad of other things.

[Potenco]

And you can count on my support.

Now, this is the [safe space] thread, we shouldn't be debating rape culture here. That would not be appropriate.

I have no plans to do that. I apoligize if ive caused any mess here.

[Individuality-ness]

Now, this is the [safe space] thread, we shouldn't be debating rape culture here. That would not be appropriate.

I have no plans to do that. I apoligize if ive caused any mess here.

I'm aware, just saying right now.

[Potenco]

Of course, I think one of the worst aspects of rape is the blaming oneself aspect. I hated myself for months on end being like "Look at yourself, you dont even enjoy sex and find it scary. You got yourself with that guy like a slut and you got what was coming to you" It was when I finally decided to truly look over the encounter that I realized that he went totally out of line and that even if I had consented to do some things with him, being forcibly sodomized is never justifiable (Im sorry I had to go into detail there)

[Shellinameow]

I know this isnt something commonly discussed and the stereotype is that all rape is man on woman, but as a victim I feel like opening discussion.

One year ago I was out with a man whom I agreed to perform oral with and nothing more. However he pressured me and eventually forced me to anal with him on the floor of his basement. I mean its not like he had a gun or beat me or anything. I specificaally told him "no" but he did anyways and I was too scared of violence on his part

Following the act, the weirdest thing was my horrible self disgust, my depression and the disassociation I experienced with my body, like I was floating out of it. I have finally begun opening up to my closest friends about the experience and they are generally sympathetic, even though my *****y ex girlfriend didnt (haha)

Now this pertains to the struggle for women, because it was with this moment and the years of hearing borderline rapist-y statements of other men that I understood the extent of rape culture in this country. It isnt a solely white, straight male thing, it affects us all. There is no notion of consent amongst men and I now realize how terrifying the sexual world can be for women especially. If were ever going to try and mount political change, we need to eliminate the mentality of oppression, selfishness and rape if we think were going to effect any real political change.

Rape apologism has to stop too and is one of societies greatest crimes. the notion that if she/he doesent say "no" makes it not rape is a wrong one. Its the belief in rape apologism that had me convinced for 6 months that what happened was my fault and I fucked up.

Its time to have a cultural reversal of values, to create a society of friends in which we beleive in consent of the most genuine kind and in which people have true empathy.

First off, I am so sorry about what happened to you. I don't think that people realize how much power there is behind intimidation. Thanks so much for coming out about it.

I kept reading this and snapping my fingers and agreeing with you. <3

[Nimilia]

Of course, I think one of the worst aspects of rape is the blaming oneself aspect. I hated myself for months on end being like "Look at yourself, you dont even enjoy sex and find it scary. You got yourself with that guy like a slut and you got what was coming to you" It was when I finally decided to truly look over the encounter that I realized that he went totally out of line and that even if I had consented to do some things with him, being forcibly sodomized is never justifiable (Im sorry I had to go into detail there)

Yeaahh :/ sucks to have to go through that. My best advice is to go out there and find people who're rather more trustworthy and just take it slow (but not TOO slow). Try not to let it become an issue, it's something you have to get over. It's the old 'what do we do if we fall of the horse' chestnut, really. Sex can be a lot of fun, but of course only if you're feelign at ease! Which you definitely weren't!
Whatever you do, don't blame yourself.. it's always both parties' responsibility to make sure the other person is feeling completely comfortable (or is at least having fun ). If someone doesn't do that, they're horrible bastards who're only out for their own fun at your expense.

[Shellinameow]

While I certainly appreciate the difficulty of the situation, you haven't really given us an idea of what this thread is supposed to discuss. There are many places online where you can tell your stories, NSG doesn't tend to be one of them.

I made it one of them. It's a place to discuss experiences, critique rape culture, etc. while also being a safe place for rape victims to come in and read and reply. Basically, I want to talk about rape without the "well what were you wearing?" shit.

[Shellinameow]

I suck ass with OPs. I suppose I think that there should be a discussion of the best strategies to prevent rape in our culture and reverse the cultural mindset which is surpisingly OK with rape. It could segway into a discussion of any kind. Im not looking for any real sympathy, ive received that from my awesome friends.

Adding a line to the effect of "What do you think are the best strategies to prevent rape and reverse the cultural mindset which supports rape?" to your OP would do a lot to make sure this thread stays open.

I will warn you, though - if this thread stays open, you may not enjoy reading it very much. NSG is...not the greatest on this subject.

The thread has been open for over a year. I'm not worried about it.

Again, the point of the thread is to talk about it, whatever that may mean to some people. People can come in and share their experiences - or not - and just talk about it without all the asshattery that goes on around here. There have been lots of people who have come in being completely rude, and all of them are gone from this thread.

wait wait wait now I'm confused.

[Crazy girl]

He made a thread but Nathi and I thought it was better to merge it into this one.

[Shellinameow]

And you can count on my support.

Now, this is the [safe space] thread, we shouldn't be debating rape culture here. That would not be appropriate.

The difficult thing about this thread --

Hi everyone by the way. I'm back. --

is that I would welcome discussions on rape culture, and the like, but more in a sense that we need to look for a solution, not on whether or not it exists. I think that this thread is the place to talk about a lot of things surrounding rape, not just our personal stories and support (though those are the backbone of the whole thing). So while yeah, this is a safe space and I want it to stay like that, I want people to also be able to speak freely about solutions or feelings without worrying about screwing up the safe space thing. If any of that made sense.

[Shellinameow]

He made a thread but Nathi and I thought it was better to merge it into this one.

OH! Okay I get it. Thanks!

[Individuality-ness]

Now, this is the [safe space] thread, we shouldn't be debating rape culture here. That would not be appropriate.

The difficult thing about this thread --

Hi everyone by the way. I'm back. --

is that I would welcome discussions on rape culture, and the like, but more in a sense that we need to look for a solution, not on whether or not it exists. I think that this thread is the place to talk about a lot of things surrounding rape, not just our personal stories and support (though those are the backbone of the whole thing). So while yeah, this is a safe space and I want it to stay like that, I want people to also be able to speak freely about solutions or feelings without worrying about screwing up the safe space thing. If any of that made sense.

Well yeah, mainly I was thinking "we should not be debating whether rape culture exists or not" in this thread. Solutions are fine! But only on the presumption that rape culture exists (it does, of course, but there's going to be a lot of people who will disagree).