The 'Be Nice' Theory

[UnhealthyTruthseeker]

Conversely, optimistic people only ever notice the evidence which confirms their optimism.

Hence the need for scientific studies.

[Anti-Social Darwinism]

"Be nice" does work. You just have to do it in the proper order and the proper context.

If you're being bullied, stand up for yourself. Knock him/her into next week if you can. After that, be nice. Ocassionally, bullies need reminding that you can't be bullied. After you've reminded them, you can resume being nice.

With non-bullies, always start out being nice, just make sure it's known that nice has it's limits.

It's amazing how well this philosophy works.

[Basement-Cat]

Many of you NSGers have most likely heard of the 'You be nice to them, and they'll be nice to you' theory. I think that this way of thinking is insane. Think back to when you were 9 or 10, going into a new grade at school.....Think when you met that first bully. Did being nice to him make him nice to you? Or did he kick your ass, or pester you all the way through school? The same could be said about politics. You don't convince any foreign power to back down by sending gifts and being nice. You make a stand to show that they are going to stop what they're doing. Now I can understand that this can be abused, but I mean actually standing up for yourself, or others, not to use it for personal gain.

What do you NSGers think? is it possible to use this theory in politics or life?

Do unto him before he does unto you leads to his big brother kicking the shit out of you.

That said, I believe in "Be nice -- but when he starts a fight, make sure you finish it."

Use the two-hit strategy: you hit him, he hits the ground.

[Soratsin]

*grabs popcorn and waits for internet tough guys to show up*

[Buffett and Colbert]

"Being nice" is a euphemism for "reverse psychology." *nods*

[UnhealthyTruthseeker]

*grabs popcorn and waits for internet tough guys to show up*

aka Parthenon

[Rhodmhire]

*grabs popcorn and waits for internet tough guys to show up*

You rang?

[JuNii]

*grabs popcorn and waits for internet tough guys to show up*

You rang?

yeah... can you please get me a coke?

[Almajoya]

Why hasn't anyone posted one of these-

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Why hasn't anyone posted one of these-

Now you did.

[Orenge]

Many of you NSGers have most likely heard of the 'You be nice to them, and they'll be nice to you' theory. I think that this way of thinking is insane. Think back to when you were 9 or 10, going into a new grade at school.....Think when you met that first bully. Did being nice to him make him nice to you? Or did he kick your ass, or pester you all the way through school? The same could be said about politics. You don't convince any foreign power to back down by sending gifts and being nice. You make a stand to show that they are going to stop what they're doing. Now I can understand that this can be abused, but I mean actually standing up for yourself, or others, not to use it for personal gain.

What do you NSGers think? is it possible to use this theory in politics or life?

Well conversely, if you're an ass to someone when u first meet, that definitely won't make them nice to you.

Anyway, if u want someone to be nice to you, rather than be vaguely "nice", you need to do something for them. Whether an actual task or give them an ego booster. Works every time, if u know how to pull the strings. Everyone has something they want, and giving it to them, even a teaser of it usually makes them see you positively. And yes, I'm talking manipulation here =]

I'm liberal btw. Doesn't mean I'm an idiot.

[Antilon]

Maybe I'm just paranoid, but "being nice" just makes you more suspicious.

[Spartan Philidelphia]

Why hasn't anyone posted one of these-

That is a very clever picture! You are a clever and smart person. Isn't that nice? Now you should be nice to me, so I can prove that NSG is nicer than the rest of the internet.

[JarVik]

I prefer the silver rule: Do on to others as they do on to you.

Its more flexiable allowing for you to defend yourself and be nice as the occassion warrants.

The Golden rule will encourage others to take advantage of you and the rule of Brass will cause your neighbours to take you down as a community service, so the silver rule is best.

[German Nightmare]

Many of you NSGers have most likely heard of the 'You be nice to them, and they'll be nice to you' theory. I think that this way of thinking is insane. Think back to when you were 9 or 10, going into a new grade at school.....Think when you met that first bully. Did being nice to him make him nice to you? Or did he kick your ass, or pester you all the way through school? The same could be said about politics. You don't convince any foreign power to back down by sending gifts and being nice. You make a stand to show that they are going to stop what they're doing. Now I can understand that this can be abused, but I mean actually standing up for yourself, or others, not to use it for personal gain.

What do you NSGers think? is it possible to use this theory in politics or life?

First off, yes, I did meet that first bully, and I was nice - and guess what? All of the sudden I had a very nice and strong friend who got my back when other people who weren't as nice towards me or others caused trouble.

Certainly, this is just one episode of what being nice entailed, but I am a nice guy, and I sure as hell won't change that because it makes some encounters easier or what not. I like being nice, I'm happy being nice. Doesn't mean I cannot be mean or inconsiderate, full of mistakes and flaws and the whole thing that comes with being a fallible human being. But I strive to better myself each and every day. Sometimes I succeed, others I don't. But that's taking it a little off track.

I try to live by common sense and the golden rule as best as I can, because I'm convinced that's the right thing to do.

Yet that doesn't mean I don't have strong convictions which might (and do) clash with others', nor does it mean that I cannot have a firm stand point, while at the same time remain civil and friendly.

"Some people think that friendliness is a sign of weakness, when in reality it is a sign of strength."

Wolfgang Singer

It's the same with meeting the world with a smile. It's an offer for those around you to join in, to appreciate it, to share a moment. Even if the other person does not smile back - that doesn't mean that your smile wasn't genuine and honest.

Same with politics or life. When you're friendly, you start out from a very secure and strong position. It's much easier to change towards less amicable tones in your dealings once you realized that you're not getting the results you wanted or expected. Yet if you start from an apparently "strong" position by being inapproachable, unfriendly, playing the tough guy, you may very well end up being the bully, yet fail to realize that it's much healthier - and easier - to give friendliness a try. Besides, how'd that go? You only have one chance to make a first impression. I'd rather be remembered for being friendly. If you come off as an asshole right from the start, you've already made it onto the wrong page in my book - and it's almost impossible to change that, no matter how friendly or supposedly friendly you behave afterwards.

Friendliness can open many doors that otherwise would remain closed to you - whereas unfriendliness only creates distance. And distance is the one thing you don't want when you're dealing with others, especially if you want something from them.

Of course there are instances where "You be nice to them, and they'll be nice to you" doesn't work. But that definitely doesn't mean that you shouldn't give it try after try with the next people you meet. Some people are assholes and no amount of friendliness is going to change that or make dealing with them any more pleasant. But it's going to be easier for you. I'm convinced that when you start off friendly with each new encounter, you've got nothing to lose, yet if you start off unfriendly, you've got nothing to gain.

[German Nightmare]

I prefer the silver rule: Do on to others as they do on to you.

Its more flexiable allowing for you to defend yourself and be nice as the occassion warrants.

The Golden rule will encourage others to take advantage of you and the rule of Brass will cause your neighbours to take you down as a community service, so the silver rule is best.

I sincerely disagree.

Speaking in terms of the Bible, your silver rule is very OT, a tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye. That's a basis to get along, maybe - but it's not going to progress anything.

The golden rule, on the other hand, is very much NT, and it makes dealing with others a lot easier, IMHO.
And mind you, people can only take advantage of you if you let them. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

[Galloism]

Conversely, optimistic people only ever notice the evidence which confirms their optimism.

Hence the need for scientific studies.

Ah, but the scientists performing the study may be optimistic or pessimistic. How do we deal with that?

[Rhodmhire]

*grabs popcorn and waits for internet tough guys to show up*

You rang?

yeah... can you please get me a coke?

No.

*Internet shoves*

[Aelosia]

When I am nice, I usually end fucked up by other people.

When I am not nice, I tend to fuck up other people.

Guess what game I usually play.

P.S. That is not usually related to if people is nice to me or not, it just happens. I have fucked up people who were nice to me in the past. People who were nice to me fucked up me too. So it is unrelated.

[JuNii]

*grabs popcorn and waits for internet tough guys to show up*

You rang?

yeah... can you please get me a coke?

No.

*Internet shoves*

[sings] Junii wobbles but he don't fall down. [/sings]

[German Nightmare]

Do unto him before he does unto you leads to his big brother kicking the shit out of you.

That said, I believe in "Be nice -- but when he starts a fight, make sure you finish it."

All I can think of is the following quote:

"Nice!" (General O'Neill)

[German Nightmare]

When I am nice, I usually end fucked up by other people.

Oh, I totally misread that as "When I am nice, I usually end up fucked by other people." and I was wondering what's wrong with that?

[JarVik]

I prefer the silver rule: Do on to others as they do on to you.

Its more flexiable allowing for you to defend yourself and be nice as the occassion warrants.

The Golden rule will encourage others to take advantage of you and the rule of Brass will cause your neighbours to take you down as a community service, so the silver rule is best.

I sincerely disagree.

Speaking in terms of the Bible, your silver rule is very OT, a tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye. That's a basis to get along, maybe - but it's not going to progress anything.

The golden rule, on the other hand, is very much NT, and it makes dealing with others a lot easier, IMHO.
And mind you, people can only take advantage of you if you let them. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

Whether something is OT or NT is irrelevant to me.

I like the silver rule as rough approximation of how to act. My default is to be nice until give a reason not to. The Golden rule while nice, if it is followed stictly such as always turning the other cheak is a good way of getting robbed or beaten up repeatedly while allowing no repurcussions to befall your assailants.



Ideally I'd say I like an alloy of the Gold and Silver rule, but if I have to pick one only it would be the silver rule.

[Rhodmhire]

*grabs popcorn and waits for internet tough guys to show up*

You rang?

yeah... can you please get me a coke?

No.

*Internet shoves*

[sings] Junii wobbles but he don't fall down. [/sings]

Hey, I'll...spam you...er...nuke...troll...

...Man, I've devoted my entire life to being an Internet tough guy...and it's just...not paying off...

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

*grabs popcorn and waits for internet tough guys to show up*

You rang?

yeah... can you please get me a coke?

No.

*Internet shoves*

[sings] Junii wobbles but he don't fall down. [/sings]

Hey, I'll...spam you...er...nuke...troll...

...Man, I've devoted my entire life to being an Internet tough guy...and it's just...not paying off...

That's because we are being pussyfied by the Man.