Bullying, damaging or helpful?

[Wamitoria]

Only the strange, weird, out-of-place and insecure people are bullied. And they deserve it. See it as corrective treatment to get them to adjust themselves to the norm.

I bullied a lot of kids in my younger years. I taught them to act normal. They owe their future to me.

Poe's Law is so awesome.

[Wamitoria]

Don't you see how you're degrading who you were? You accepted the bullies' insults as the truth, then abandoned who you were just to win their approval. This is not how anyone should handle bullying.

I certainly don't feel that way. I'm my own person, flaws and all. If the bullies don't like it, they can kiss my bony white a**

Besides, it doesn't really work. I've tried it. They just find new things to bully you for.

[Wamitoria]

You really haven't experienced true bullying.

It hurts.

To the core.

Probably, but why not get mad instead of sad about it? I've never understood why some people always get sad/scared/depressed about situations like that. I always get mad. Very mad. Maybe I'm just odd though.

I'm actually in the same predicament as you. Reacting to injustice with anger, anger, and more anger.

Being mad doesn't hurt you? I mean, sometimes it's cathartic, but when it's directed towards a person or group of people to the point where you actively wish harm on them?

[Wamitoria]

Hmm, possibly a little bit. Anyways I really don't think bullying is that much of an issue. Maybe if I have a child that is bullied, but until then meh. Man up and deal it. Grin and bear it.

Well, I'm glad it matters once it affects you personally.
It's a lot easier to say 'grin and bear it' when:
1: You've never experienced it.
2: You aren't ostracized from an entire community, and systematically tormented physically, psychologically, and sometimes sexually for a period of years.
3: Are fully capable of finding persons willing to help you with your problems rather than say "man up".

Hey now, he actually has the same problem I had, so lay off the facepalm.

[Wamitoria]

I'm actually in the same predicament as you. Reacting to injustice with anger, anger, and more anger.

Being mad doesn't hurt you? I mean, sometimes it's cathartic, but when it's directed towards a person or group of people to the point where you actively wish harm on them?

I think being mad is better than being sad, and less damaging. Is being angry damaging to you? I honestly have no idea, nor do I care. I prefer to be angry to being sad.

They're two sides of the same coin. I've learned that when I felt anger it was usually because someone made me feel sad, so, in effect, I was simply experiencing one emotion as a substitute for another in situations where the other emotion wouldn't have seemed prudent to express due to fear of reprisal (be it emotional or physical).

That being said, I definitely prefer any positive emotion to anger.

[Wamitoria]

We live in a culture dominated by women. A culture where being a grown man watching shows made for 8 year old little girls is acceptable in some circles. More than 70% of teachers are female. Those females are in position of power, and have become many of our role models rather than men also not forgetting that many young men are raised by single mothers. The real problem here I believe is not with bullying, but with feminization of males. Which is a symptom of our increasingly liberal for lack of a better word society.

A man needs to defend himself, and to stand up for himself against bullies. When some one disrespects his honor a man should raise to the occasion fully prepared to fight. How can he though learn these skills from a female? Most females are compassionate and caring. Rarely do females concern themselves with the testosterone driven behaviors of men.

We are told "be nice" when it is to no consequence of ourselves. Then when we're defending our honor or defending ourselves on the playground we are punished. What were these fists made for if not the defense of honor and self? These manly fists.

The biggest criminal here through all of this though is public schooling. It forces children into school regardless of their whims. It oppresses and neuters many young men. I wish for boys to some day work besides other men, and to be influenced by and develop male role models.

Wow. There's so much wrong with this post.

[Wikipedia and Universe]

It's not the bullying itself that was helpful to you, it was the fact that instead of running from it, you got up and worked to do something about it. That was you becoming a King.

[Wikkiwallana]

Congratulations on having been the exception, rather than the rule. However, you still need to learn that one person's experience is not sufficient evidence to overturn larger statistical examinations. Bullying sucks and does great harm.

[Wikkiwallana]

Congratulations on having been the exception, rather than the rule. However, you still need to learn that one person's experience is not sufficient evidence to overturn larger statistical examinations. Bullying sucks and does great harm.

I understand your reasoning entirely, but because bullying had no lasting adverse effects on me there is still a debate in this.

What part of "exception to the norm" do you not understand?

[Wikkiwallana]

damaging.

overcoming damage means you were damaged.

But if you fix something damaged and it works better, does that not then outweigh the damage? It certainly did for me.

How do you fix a suicide?

[Wikkiwallana]

What part of "exception to the norm" do you not understand?

I was bullied once, but it's a fucking experience that no one should ever fucking endured. Sorry the rest of us are not part of the SS Waffen. And your anecdote is just what it is; an anecdote.

I was bullied more than once, and while it was mostly verbal, it was still something that no one should ever go through.

[Wikkiwallana]

What part of "exception to the norm" do you not understand?

What on earth are you talking about, I addressed that issue by saying that one exception can allow for much debate over the matter,

Nope. An overall pattern is still an overall pattern, a single exception does not change that at all. Until such "exceptions"represent more occurrences than the pattern, the rule still holds.

besides I don't think it's just me that has managed to gain a positive outcome from bullying.

That's spiffy. It doesn't change the fact that the negative outcomes outweigh them by far.

[Wikkiwallana]

Nope. An overall pattern is still an overall pattern, a single exception does not change that at all. Until such "exceptions"represent more occurrences than the pattern, the rule still holds.

That's spiffy. It doesn't change the fact that the negative outcomes outweigh them by far.

LISTEN TO ME.

I am not saying I KNOW bullying is good for people, I am putting the notion out there for debate, and no matter what you say, it had a positive outcome in my instance so it is still debatable, negative outcomes might outweigh the positive, but because there are positive outcomes, it means there is no definite answer.

Listen to me: I am saying you have insufficient grounds to debate established facts. Your one experience does not open up debate about something that is known to be a pattern, not an inviolable law.

[Wikkiwallana]

I was bullied for the past several years, although it was mostly verbally and psychologically. It was excruciating. Several times I reached my breaking point and ended up hitting people. I've since found better ways to manage myself - generally involving shooting things on the Wii - but I believe that it has had long-lasting or even permanent effects on my social skills and psyche. For example, it's Easter, and rather than going to some church type thing with my family and talking to other people, I'm sitting here in my basement, watching an episode of Star Trek on Netflix, drinking a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew and posting on a thread on the Internet. I had friends before. Now I have one. I've been outside four times in the past week. I used to go outside every day. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the bullying psychologically ripped me to pieces, then put me back together in a very different - and in my opinion, much worse - way.
To all of you people who say that bullying is good, you make me sick. It is not possible to put into words how much you disgust me.

Well I managed, perhaps you just couldn't hack it.

I don't care about your personal stories because I know them all, I went through it and I stood up, just because you laid down and took it doesn't mean I'm wrong.

I see, so other people's personal stories don't matter, but yours does. Interesting that.

[Wikkiwallana]

You don't seem to get it. Your single personal experience does not discount the fact that every other source says bullying does nothing but damage. You say you got over it (a dubious claim, but I digress), good for you. Not everyone does. It's not the victim's fault for getting bullied, and bullies need to be punished accordingly.

I have said that before, my personal account does not prove anything, but it casts doubt, and that is all that is needed for debate.

It does not cast doubt. One example does not counter an overwhelming trend. Why can you not understand this?

[Wikkiwallana]

Had I not been bullied, I wouldn't have ever had a reason to fit in, get friends, and enjoy my life. People who can't take bullying are unfit for the real world. It is a benificial, natural, and normal method of natural selection. Making schools hostile to bullies will only make the problem worse. It will reduce bullying, but it won't end it. In the end it will increase bullying-related suicides, cut first amendment rights, and destroy the motive for loser children to gain friends.
I should probably thank the people who bullied me.
Oh, and bullies were the reason I stopped playing baseball, and started playing sports that I enjoy far more and am actually good at (rugby and football).

Social Darwinism was thoroughly discredited decades go.

[Wikkiwallana]

Social Darwinism was thoroughly discredited decades go.

Like I said, I am no social darwinist.

Your own post says otherwise:

It is a benificial, natural, and normal method of natural selection.

But I do realize that if it weren't for bullies, I'd have no social skills, freinds, or a life for that matter. I would be a complete and total loser who would be universally hated. Is bullying good, no. Has it helped me a lot? Yes.
Wussifying the whole world will not make there be less bullying or fix the problem. It will decrease bullying, but increase suicide.

How would stopping people from being jerks "wussify" the world? No-one reasonably expects life to be without challenges, but that is no excuse to go around making it even harder for others.

[Wikkiwallana]

How is a some bored, aspie asshole calling you names & shit just to fuck with you helpful? Kick his ass and teach him a lesson, because his parent's didn't, obviously. I never bullied anyone in school, but if someone fucked with me I made sure they stopped. I have no problem calling people out, either. I even did so in college, embarrassing colleagues with their stupid pretentious, pseudo-intellectual bullshit. In art classes, I was the only student to stand up for someone when the professor tried to tell us what is and what isn't art. Assholes.

What the hell does the underlined have to do with anything?

[Wikkiwallana]

Physical is only damaging. Verbal is only helpful. Children discourage what adults will disapprove of in real life and what will hurt the recipients of the bullying later on. Fat people are less likely to be hired, for instance. The reason they are bullied is BECAUSE society disapproves of certain traits. If we want to stop bullying we can stop disapproving of those traits.

Funny, I was verbally bullied, and it wasn't helpful at all.

[Wikkiwallana]

I was bullied. I have to say I didn't really consider it very damaging, but then again, I've always had a lot of willpower so I just ignored them. I should also say that it has made me more emotionless, I don't often show very much emotion nowadays. Some people may consider that damaging, others would consider it a strength, personally I believe the latter. I was bullied for not being a very 'traditional' teenager, so to speak. I prefer to read things like 1984, or listen to classical music rather than go clubbing or listening to popular music. I also speak with Received Pronunciation and I tend to spell things in an old-fashioned way, i.e. 'gaol'. On top of all of that I was also what you would probably call a 'geek', I was rather good at subjects such as history, science, English, I was never any good at Physical Education. The way that I stopped myself from being bullied was to either ignore them, or engage in psychological warfare. Since I went/go to a state school, the people there weren't of the most intelligent variety so it wasn't too hard to confuse them, either. In any case, I suppose it has made me a stronger person, but I can also understand why somebody would commit suicide; therefore, I would disagree with the opening post.

You my dear sir sound like an http://www.personalitypage.com/INTP.html

Psst, Myers-Briggs is full of crap. Just thought you should know.

Edit: got the name wrong
Edit again: still got the name wrong

[Wikkiwallana]

Psst, Briggs-Meyers is full of crap. Just thought you should know.

I don't know they pretty much nailed me. They said "You might find these activities fulfilling:" And it was literally like every single activity I was doing at the time. *shrug*

That's not really proof. Make it vague enough and everyone will think it describes them perfectly. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forer_effect

[Wisconsin7]

I was bullied for the past several years, although it was mostly verbally and psychologically. It was excruciating. Several times I reached my breaking point and ended up hitting people. I've since found better ways to manage myself - generally involving shooting things on the Wii - but I believe that it has had long-lasting or even permanent effects on my social skills and psyche. For example, it's Easter, and rather than going to some church type thing with my family and talking to other people, I'm sitting here in my basement, watching an episode of Star Trek on Netflix, drinking a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew and posting on a thread on the Internet. I had friends before. Now I have one. I've been outside four times in the past week. I used to go outside every day. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the bullying psychologically ripped me to pieces, then put me back together in a very different - and in my opinion, much worse - way.
To all of you people who say that bullying is good, you make me sick. It is not possible to put into words how much you disgust me.

[Wisconsin7]

I was bullied for the past several years, although it was mostly verbally and psychologically. It was excruciating. Several times I reached my breaking point and ended up hitting people. I've since found better ways to manage myself - generally involving shooting things on the Wii - but I believe that it has had long-lasting or even permanent effects on my social skills and psyche. For example, it's Easter, and rather than going to some church type thing with my family and talking to other people, I'm sitting here in my basement, watching an episode of Star Trek on Netflix, drinking a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew and posting on a thread on the Internet. I had friends before. Now I have one. I've been outside four times in the past week. I used to go outside every day. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the bullying psychologically ripped me to pieces, then put me back together in a very different - and in my opinion, much worse - way.
To all of you people who say that bullying is good, you make me sick. It is not possible to put into words how much you disgust me.

Well I managed, perhaps you just couldn't hack it.

I don't care about your personal stories because I know them all, I went through it and I stood up, just because you laid down and took it doesn't mean I'm wrong.

Oh, I didn't just lay down and take it. I ignored it for a long time, and that didn't help. I fought back physically and got in trouble, and it got worse. I didn't bother going to the teachers because the only thing they would do was some "mediation" horseshit that never worked. Fighting physical bullying is easy. I've been through that, too. You can fight physical bullying. You can physically fight the person, teachers have to do something if you say something, and if you work out and bulk up you can scare them off. None of that works with psychological bullying. The only thing you can do is ignore the tormentors, and I speak from experience when I say that that doesn't always work. I realize that this is an old post I'm responding to, but I had to say this. What's more, broken bones can be set, bruises and cuts heal. The mind, however, needs some help, and even then it might never recover.

[Wisconsin7]

Physical is only damaging. Verbal is only helpful. Children discourage what adults will disapprove of in real life and what will hurt the recipients of the bullying later on. Fat people are less likely to be hired, for instance. The reason they are bullied is BECAUSE society disapproves of certain traits. If we want to stop bullying we can stop disapproving of those traits.

This is completely untrue. I speak from experience as I have been bullied physically and verbally. The latter is much worse. With physical bullying, you have a legal right to fight back. Physical wounds also heal much more easily than psychological damage. When I broke my hand, I had the cast off in a month. I have been seeing a therapist for several years and am still messed up.

[Wisconsin7]

Only the strange, weird, out-of-place and insecure people are bullied. And they deserve it. See it as corrective treatment to get them to adjust themselves to the norm.

I bullied a lot of kids in my younger years. I taught them to act normal. They owe their future to me.

Let me tell you something. Over the years, I have been bullied for three reasons. The first is religious differences. This I am willing to forgive, since it was in the third grade.
The second was that I was the new kid. I could not change that. I do not forgive that one.
The third is no reason. I know this; I asked.
I don't think you helped anyone. Best case scenario, they have lasting psychological damage. Worst case, they're maladjusted fuckwads who think they have the right to bully people. Like yourself.