Bullying, damaging or helpful?

[Arbites]

in about 4 years I had made the transition from the bullied little child, to the psychopath

That might be a problem.

He didn't mean a literal psychopath. The bigger problem is that he and a few others on this thread appear to have Stockholm Syndrome, claiming that obvious psychological damage is a positive, and literally thanking the bullies. They'll end up perpetuating the whole "Bullying builds character" bullshit because of misinterpreted anecdotal "evidence."

[Arbites]

I can't think of any instance in which bullying has helped anyone

It helped me, it turned me into a stronger and less weak individual toughened me up showed me the world is a bed of roses, "it looks nice, but can still cut you up really bad." I'm proud of the fact i got through it and was able to overcome, it is my greatest accomplishment.

Doesn't sound like it's helped you.

[Arbites]

Doesn't sound like it's helped you.

To you no, to your shitty society no, but that is irrelevant for your opinions do not mean much to me in my opinion it has helped me and that is all that matters. Whether or not i consider i have improved and love who i am is all that matters in the end for in the end the opinions of others ring hollow and are worthless.

Not exactly making a strong case here...

[Arbites]

I was bullied from 8 to the age of about 13. I thank the bullies for it because it taught me how to use humor as a deffence mechanism and now I am downright HILARIOUS. I'm not saying its helpful for most but it helped me certainly. It also did genuinely help me grow up as I was a neurotic adolescent, to the extent I can say someone who bullied me at school is now one of my closet friends. I'm interested in the fact how any of us NS geeks managed to get through school without getting at least teased mildly

I don't think any of us could go our whole lives without getting teased a bit, or being able to handle getting teased. Bullying is quite a different animal.

All right, let's try to get definitions straight, I think our definition of "bullying" seems to be getting a lot of people confused in this thread. Some people are defining "bullying" as just sporadic childhood teasing, which is harmless, to be expected, and quite frankly, natural. Nobody's saying we need to stop every 5 year old from ever calling someone a poopyhead. "Bullying" is a sustained campaign of real, malicious psychological warfare.

[Arbites]

Bullying is neither helpful nor harmful...it's hilarious.

^Kidding, but in all seriousness, recent data suggests that most students/adolescents do not identify themselves as the bullies or victims-rather an overlap of both. An overwhelming majority said that they had said hurtful things to another peer, but had also had hurtful things said to them, both situations happening on multiple occasions. So technically it is hard to solve "bullying" as a problem when nearly everyone's doing it to each other. On a personal note, I was picked on in my school, but I made the rights friends, tried to better the flaws that people made fun of me for and...I'll admit it...deflected some of the abuse I had received on other peers. It's called growing up, and I can't believe our society makes such a big deal over these things when other children are starving to death, children who would do anything to be in the bullying "victim's" situation.

That's not "bullying" as we're defining it here. Everyone gets teased, and everyone occasionally gets into spats with other people. That's not the issue.

The kind of bullying we're talking about is a completely one-sided campaign of psychological abuse. Two people who both hate each other and each give as well as they get are not "bullying" each other. A bully has power over the victim in some way or another that the victim cannot compensate for to fight him on equal terms.

[Arbites]

That's not "bullying" as we're defining it here. Everyone gets teased, and everyone occasionally gets into spats with other people. That's not the issue.

The kind of bullying we're talking about is a completely one-sided campaign of psychological abuse. Two people who both hate each other and each give as well as they get are not "bullying" each other. A bully has power over the victim in some way or another that the victim cannot compensate for to fight him on equal terms.

In the situation you described, I never understand why the victim doesn't adjust themselves to make themselves less vulnerable to a psychological abuse. They can laugh at the bully's jest and then say something equally hurtful back (yeah I know it's vicious, but it works), Let's say the person is fitting the stereotype of a "nerd" or "geek" they can try to be more social and garner more friends and support in another way (joining a sports team). The victim doesn't necessarily need to fight back to the bully directly, they only need to adjust the balances of social power so that the bully can move onto "weaker prey" (also sounds really bad, but in my experience this method works best).

That doesn't work. Once a bully is locked on, it really doesn't matter what the victim does to try to change their situation. Bullies really don't need an excuse after they've picked a target, and in many cases the bully is the one who is actively preventing the victim from adjusting his position in the first place. Again, we're not talking about the harmless teasing and what have you.

Besides, I fail to see why a geek should have to change just because some prick won't lay off.

[Arkiasis]

Harmful to an extent, but I really think that all this anti-bullying shit is foolish. Kids need to toughen up, not wimp out.

Take your social Darwinism and shove it up your arse, with that logic disabled people should be left to die because they are unable to fend for themselves. -_-

[Ashmoria]

damaging.

overcoming damage means you were damaged.

[Ashmoria]

damaging.

overcoming damage means you were damaged.

But if you fix something damaged and it works better, does that not then outweigh the damage? It certainly did for me.

no it doesnt.

you have accepted that there was something wrong with YOU when there was something wrong with THEM. you have fixed a defect that didnt exist.

[Ashmoria]

I agree completely with the OP.
Bullying makes us stronger. Attempting to stop bullying will only make children less tough, which will increase the suicide rate when kids finally are confronted with the reality of bullying. Bullying is actually decreasing currently, but bullying-related suicides are going up. I think that has to do with the fact that schools are continually wussifying children. I hate to sound like a social darwinist, but it should be about survival of the fittest. Attempts to interefere with survival of the fittest is interefering with the laws of nature. And bullying is, and should be protected by the first amendment (physical bullying isn't, however)
btw, I was bullied as a kid. I got stronger. Then I beat the bullies up. Nobody ever layed a hand on me after that.
Point is, I got to learn a lesson, and I became stronger

there is no "reality of bullying". most kids arent bullied. at least not to a serious extent. once you are grown up you never need to put up with a bully. only kids get tormented that way.

[Ashmoria]

I was bullied for the past several years, although it was mostly verbally and psychologically. It was excruciating. Several times I reached my breaking point and ended up hitting people. I've since found better ways to manage myself - generally involving shooting things on the Wii - but I believe that it has had long-lasting or even permanent effects on my social skills and psyche. For example, it's Easter, and rather than going to some church type thing with my family and talking to other people, I'm sitting here in my basement, watching an episode of Star Trek on Netflix, drinking a two liter bottle of Mountain Dew and posting on a thread on the Internet. I had friends before. Now I have one. I've been outside four times in the past week. I used to go outside every day. I guess what I'm trying to say is that the bullying psychologically ripped me to pieces, then put me back together in a very different - and in my opinion, much worse - way.
To all of you people who say that bullying is good, you make me sick. It is not possible to put into words how much you disgust me.

if you are still in school you should talk to the school councillor. if possible get her to set you up with someone outside of school. you need outside help to build a happy healthy adult life for yourself. school sucks at understanding how they have been complicit in your tomrent. a nonschool professional can have the perspective necessary to guide you.

[Ashmoria]

there is no "reality of bullying". most kids arent bullied. at least not to a serious extent. once you are grown up you never need to put up with a bully. only kids get tormented that way.

Bullying occours in the workplace as well. Maybe not the "traditional" physical bullying but psychological abuse can be inflicted. What's worse is professional bullying IE intentionally giving bad employee reviews or sabotaging efforts to find another job or references.

sure it does.

but an adult can quit. a kid cant.

[Audraous]

Some people tell you it will make you stronger. i disagree. It harms you inside. its like a peice of paper, you scrunch it up, and flatten it, but it will still have a mark left.
NO, it is NOT helpful!

[Augarundus]

in about 4 years I had made the transition from the bullied little child, to the psychopath

That might be a problem.

[Avenio]

Bullying is incredibly damaging. There are literally dozens and dozens of studies detailing at some length how emotionally and psychologically damaging it is. Quite frankly, the people who say kids need to 'toughen up' or that bullying has somehow 'made them stronger' are either repeating tired old stereotypes that do nothing but promote an uncaring, barbaric worldview or are either purposely or accidentally ignorant.

EDIT:

Overuse? One swear word in the entire post? Oh boy, are you in for a rude awakening...

Perhaps he just needs to 'toughen up', eh?

[Avenio]

I'm not just saying I am a better person because I was bullied, I know I am.

I'm not so sure, to be blunt. Anyone who claims to be a 'psychopath' in a positive sense (And in doing so insulting people who are actually sufferers of psychopathy) was probably not benefitted by the experience.

I am not ignorant to the horrors of bullying, but I think perhaps my case was severe enough to cause action, perhaps low level psychological bullying is worse than awful physical bullying.

Physical bullying is equally studied to psychological bullying, and equally as damaging. There literally is no upside to bullying, however much the authoritarian fetishists here want there to be.

[Avorez]

I have been bullied since the 5th grade, so for about 4 years now. I've been emotionally and physically abused for four years straight, and yet somehow you have the fucking gall to tell me that I'm stronger for it? I am on my mental last legs before I fully snap and kill someone, but somehow your telling me that this is making me better? No it's fucking not! It's making me insane! I didn't leave elementary or middle schools a person prepared for anything! I left both angry and bitter at the world that anything like this could have occurred to anybody, and your telling me that this is going to turn me into something great! HA! What a fucking sick joke.

[Azawad]

It fucked up my trust in others, my emotional well-being and my interactions with others for a long time, which in turn hurt my ability to achieve the things I wanted to achieve.

However, I did meet someone very special that I would not have met otherwise... so...

So no, I don't feel miserable any more because of what happened.

[Bafuria]

Bullying both helped me and harmed me.

It did make me less vulnerable mentally and physically, but I'm still a bit paranoid because of it.

[Britannic Realms]

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[Britannic Realms]

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[Britannic Realms]

Only the strange, weird, out-of-place and insecure people are bullied. And they deserve it. See it as corrective treatment to get them to adjust themselves to the norm.

I bullied a lot of kids in my younger years. I taught them to act normal. They owe their future to me.

Tell me, do you support the eugenics movement?

[Britannic Realms]

You think i'm a sociopath? well ok, i see no problem with that if you wish to call me a sociopath well fine call me a sociopath if you wish. but just to see if i am a true socipath lest look at the medical definition of sociopath.

Antisocial personality disorder(sociopath)
It is characterized by at least 3 of the following:

1. Callous unconcern for the feelings of others
2. Gross and persistent attitude of irresponsibility and disregard for social norms, rules, and obligations.
3.Incapacity to maintain enduring relationships, though having no difficulty in establishing them
4.Very low tolerance to frustration and a low threshold for discharge of aggression, including violence.
5.Incapacity to experience guilt or to profit from experience, particularly punishment.
6.Markedly prone to blame others or to offer plausible rationalizations for the behavior that has brought the person into conflict with society

well i admit i am pretty strongly # 1, depending on the circumstances #2 because if i do not agree with them and they go against my own i will generally not care to follow them, i am half of #3, and i am also half of #5. well i guess i am a sociopath...Yay?

In that case, I much also be a sociopath as I fit into criteria #1, 3, 4 and 5.

[Buffett and Colbert]

I had made the transition from the bullied little child, to the psychopath nobody dared touch

Yeah, that's everyone's aim in life, isn't it? To be a psychopath nobody dares to touch.

[Call to power]

So you became a bit more confident? I don't think you really needed to be bullied for that.

That said I'm sure you work in mid-level management at best and this story is mostly a fantasy (a 12-13 year old doing weights you say?)