Bullying, damaging or helpful?

[Mavorpen]

So much for seriousness in this issue.

You expect seriousness in NSG? Silly person.

[Meowfoundland]

I was bullied and I ended up largely isolated and with few friends, and I stopped talking. It was certainly damaging to me.

[Meowfoundland]

I was bullied and I ended up largely isolated and with few friends, and I stopped talking. It was certainly damaging to me.

That is the typical experience. How did it end?

I went to high school and had almost no friends until I made the conscious effort to be friendly. Now it's fine.

[Mois]

I still stand by my opinion that bullying is harmful, physically, physiologically, and emotionally.

You didn't need to be bullied to be tougher. All you need a want to be stronger, better, or faster. You can do sports and still be strong enough to combat muggers.

So, bullying needs to be stopped, and is, in my opinion, damaging.

[Mushet]

I got a lot of shit in middle school, I came into it acting like a little bitch, it toughened me up though, at least outwardly, I mean I'm glad I don't act like that anymore, but it seems like that shit messed me up in other ways like not being able to make and maintain actual friendships (we just talk shit), vulnerability issues, afraid to speak up or take any initiative, I need to get over that shit

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

More often than not, bullying is damaging.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

IIRC, the major psychological reason for bullying is that it functions as a group unification method.

That being said, yes it is damaging, and should be prevented/rectified where possible.

I fail to see how bullying = group unification.

People ganging up to bully someone else. I've seen that happen.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

People ganging up to bully someone else. I've seen that happen.

In my experience a lot* of bullying is unintentional on the lead bullies part. They don't always realise the true depth of their actions. However some that join them will and that's when it gets worse.

*That is not to say most.

Some teenage girls, sometimes do this. When I was in high school there was this little clique of 7 girls who enjoyed ganging up on me and bullying me. By that time I didn't really care. But there were other female classmates who weren't so lucky. One of them had to be counseled for the bullying.

The thing, these girls, all 7 of them, were very aware that they were bullying. And they enjoyed it.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Some teenage girls, sometimes do this. When I was in high school there was this little clique of 7 girls who enjoyed ganging up on me and bullying me. By that time I didn't really care. But there were other female classmates who weren't so lucky. One of them had to be counseled for the bullying.

The thing, these girls, all 7 of them, were very aware that they were bullying. And they enjoyed it.

I think the more bullies their are the less likely it is that they don't appreciate their bully-ness.

Was it an all girls school or did they just happen to target girls? Bullies have a certain kind of victim.

They just happened to target girls.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

I was brutally bullied a few years back. Anyone who thinks its helpful is a bully themselves or a total jackass.

Well, that's not very nice. What of those people that found, and I find this very difficult to believe, brutal bullying was character building?

They just happened to target girls.

Bullies are people and people deal with what they know. In a way that's what makes bad bullying so much worse, what happens isn't just down to chance.

I agree. Bullies tend to be influenced by their environment and they will lash out and humiliate others because it is what they know. And in the end, they enjoy doing it. That's why I have no sympathy towards bullies. I don't pity them. They know that what they're doing is wrong, but won't stop.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

I agree. Bullies tend to be influenced by their environment and they will lash out and humiliate others because it is what they know. And in the end, they enjoy doing it. That's why I have no sympathy towards bullies. I don't pity them. They know that what they're doing is wrong, but won't stop.

The ones who do not see why their actions are wrong need something other than sympathy or pity.

They need therapy or a good punch in the face.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

For those saying that verbal bullying doesn't hurt because it's just words, I will say that they're wrong. In fact, if anything, verbal bullying can be worse and far more lasting than physical bullying. Words remain, blows heal.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Evidence from Psychology Today that refutes the claim that abusive language, verbal bullying doesn't affect the victim.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the ... -the-brain

Words do hurt. Ridicule, distain, humiliation, taunting, all cause injury, and when it is delivered in childhood from a child's peers, verbal abuse causes more than emotional trauma. It inflicts lasting physical effects on brain structure.

When that environment is hostile or socially unhealthy, development of the brain is affected, and often it is impaired. Early childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse, or even witnessing domestic violence, have been shown to cause abnormal physical changes in the brain of children, with lasting effects that predisposes the child to developing psychological disorders. This type of brain scarring is well established now by human brain imaging studies, but prior to the recent study by Martin Teicher and colleagues at Harvard Medical School, taunting and other verbal abuse experienced by middle school children from their peers was not thought to leave a structural imprint on the developing brain. But it does, according to their new study published on-line in advance of print in the American Journal of Psychiatry.

The results revealed that those individuals who reported experiencing verbal abuse from their peers during middle school years had underdeveloped connections between the left and right sides of their brain through the massive bundle of connecting fibers called the corpus callosum. Psychological tests given to all subjects in the study showed that this same group of individuals had higher levels of anxiety, depression, anger, hostility, dissociation, and drug abuse than others in the study.

Verbal abuse from peers during the middle school years had the greatest impact, presumably because this is a sensitive period when these brain connections are developing and becoming insulated with myelin.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Evidence from Psychology Today that refutes the claim that abusive language, verbal bullying doesn't affect the victim.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the ... -the-brain

Finally. Thanks for the source Itani....wait.
You're not Itanica! Nevermind.

AHEM: Thanks for the source Nanatsu.

You're welcome.

I'm trying to find the new Harvard study. If I can find it, I'll post it here.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Harvard study: Hurtful Words: Association of Exposure to Peer Verbal Abuse With Elevated Psychiatric Symptom Scores and Corpus Callosum Abnormalities
- Martin H. Teicher, M.D., Ph.D.; Jacqueline A. Samson, Ph.D.; Yi-Shin Sheu, M.A.; Ann Polcari, R.N., Ph.D.; Cynthia E. McGreenery
From the Developmental Biopsychiatry Research Program, McLean Hospital; and the Department of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School, Boston.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

None of your sources explain why not everyone is so "psychologically tormented" and "damaged" from verbal abuse.

That you're aware of, that is.

Many of the people I know who were verbally bullied, they lead very successful lives now and never suffered from any psychological trauma.
Show me where I said noone suffers from psychological trauma. I said only the weak. And it is true.

Weakness has nothing to do with it. People can put on facades, and still be feeling terrible inside because of verbal abuse. Just because they show you a 'strong' face means crap.

And you haven't sourced your claims. I sourced mine. We're waiting.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

I don't understand. You want me to call up several people I hardly talked to and tell them to prove my point for me on some random forum on the internet?
You want me to prove that it is only the weak?

Then how can you be so sure that they never developed any psychological problems from being bullied? You just admitted you hardly talk to them.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

That you're aware of, that is.



Weakness has nothing to do with it. People can put on facades, and still be feeling terrible inside because of verbal abuse. Just because they show you a 'strong' face means crap.

And you haven't sourced your claims. I sourced mine. We're waiting.

Yes, your sources don't explain why not everyone feels that way. Not everyone is psychologically tormented and damaged from verbal abuse.

And, what the fuck, can you even read? I have said multiple times I suffered from extensive verbal bullying myself - Are you telling me I don't know how I feel?

Can you read?

I suffered extensive bullying too. I have a successful career, a loving family and yet I did suffer psychological trauma. I am a strong person, yet I was affected by the bullying. Anecdotes, yadda yadda yadda.

We're waiting.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

No. I want you to source something that isn't blatantly circular logic.
I hereby deem you weak, because only the weak call people who suffer from mental abuse 'weak'.

If that's your definition of weak in this scenario, then fine, I am by your definition weak. I don't get what you're trying to prove here.

Can you read?

I suffered extensive bullying too. I have a successful career, a loving family and yet I did suffer psychological trauma. I am a strong person, yet I was affected by the bullying. Anecdotes, yadda yadda yadda.

We're waiting.

I suffered no psychological trauma. There are thousands, if not millions like me. Why don't you just go and look anywhere on the internet and you'll find that?
See: Any board on 4chan and many people in places such as facebook (any social networking site)

4chan? Seriously?

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

4chan? Seriously?

Regardless of how much of a cesspit the site is, real people are still sitting behind their computers there, shockingly. And many of these actual people have stories to tell.

That your sorry excuse for 'logic' is entirely meaningless, and literally not worth the bytes given to preserving it on this forum.



You cited 4chan? To rebut Psychology Today and Harvard? Lolno.

The feelings of real people is infinitely more reliable than a study made based on not what actual people have felt, but rather a very limited understanding of the human brain.
Also, regardless of what any study says, there are exceptions.

I think, we are going to have to agree that there are many people who are not affected by verbal bullying, just as there are many who are. I feel no desire to carry out an argument against someone for several days as I do have better things to do with my time.

The problem with your assessment is that you think people who get affected by verbal abuse are so because they're 'weak'. That, I'm sorry for you, is BS.

People that are deemed strong can be victims of verbal abuse and be scarred by it. Weakness or strength has nothing to do with the lasting effects of being the victim of verbal abuse. If you were, as you said, bullied in school, this should be super clear by now.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Thus, I have proved there to be an exception to the scientists' papers as I never suffered psychological trauma from the extensive verbal bullying I suffered.

I hope you realize that self-diagnosis is virtually the biggest no-no in the history of psychiatry (and, really, virtually any semi-respectable intellectual field). You have a biased viewpoint, and might be too ashamed or lack perspective to acknowledge psychological damage. Only a third party who is trained in psychology, psychiatry, child development, or some other relevant field can tell you whether you've suffered psychological trauma from bullying.

This holds even more truth in that it is known that anyone, regardless of their strength or not, can be a victim of bullying. Bullies don't particular reasons to bully. Someone can get bullied because they are different in some way - perhaps it's the color of their skin, the way they talk, their size or their name.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

In order to reach the conclusion that verbal abuse causes changes in brain structure, any scientist who is worth at least the paper that his/her degree(s) is/are printed on has to show that no other phenomena creates such changes. I.E., they MUST talk to both people who have been verbally abused, and people who haven't been (at least not enough to make a difference), in order to rule out all other possible alternative explanations.

Its called the scientific method. If you came up with some hypothesis A for observed phenomena B, in order to convince the rest of the scientific community that A is the best explanation for B, you must not only show experimental evidence clearly demonstrating (or at the very least, very strongly suggesting) a link, but you must also provide evidence that rules out alternative reasonable explanations C, D, E, F, G, and so on.

Not a facepalm emoticon, damn - You really had me there!

You want a better reply? Fine. I suffered no psychological trauma and led a great life, there is nothing wrong with my head.
Their research is thus not 100% true.

The thing here is that you said 'words' can't cause harm. You were proven wrong on that position.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

This holds even more truth in that it is known that anyone, regardless of their strength or not, can be a victim of bullying. Bullies don't particular reasons to bully. Someone can get bullied because they are different in some way - perhaps it's the colour of their skin, the way they talk, their size or their name.

Or maybe the size of their name... Or how they spell... Or am I the only one who would bother bullying people over that?

No, it isn't odd.

If a bully wants to bully, he/she will find a way to do it.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

viewtopic.php?p=8986462#p8986462

When I saw people getting constantly physically bullied, I would always befriend them and protect them. Needless to say, they didn't get bullied much after that.

I don't care much for verbal bullying, though. Anyone who can't take words on the chin is not ready for the world yet. And god forbid they ever use the internet. Words cannot hurt, I have been called many "hurtful" things throughout my lifetime, but it doesn't matter, because I realise that words cannot damage me.

Physical bullying does hurt;
Words do not.

Once again, this is what has being refuted. Your claim, basing it only on your personal and limited experience, that "words do not hurt". The study I posted proves your point wrong.

Should I digest this for you?

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

The thing here is that you said 'words' can't cause harm. You were proven wrong on that position.

Yes, I was. I was indeed proved wrong there, I will step down and admit that.

Since that's the case, then my argument with you is at an end.