Dating and Attraction

[Saint Jade IV]

Now, if I could only find fantastic guys like you here...and Australian girls were not genetically averse to the cold, all our problems would be solved.

I can keep the Australian girls warm at night

Now, with an offer like that, I'll be on the next flight

[Saint Jade IV]

But hygiene standards would prohibit it? No telling where those hands have been

That;s what those latex gloves are for. Also, they're cheaper than condoms and you get 5 uses out of them.

Now, I thought they had a completely different purpose in relationships of a sexual nature.

I've been misled.

[The Blaatschapen]

I can keep the Australian girls warm at night

Now, with an offer like that, I'll be on the next flight

I'll bring some blankets to the airport

[Four-sided Triangles]

Well, since we are speaking of men specifically, I can say that the number 3 on his list doesn't apply to me. I don't treat men like objects, because I don't date them. I don't lower my standards, I just look for someone nice, who is kind to me. Ruthless, the word he used, implies intent, which I know I have not done, nor witnessed in my relationships.

But can you be sure that you don't unconsciously treat women like objects? How can you be certain that you're absolutely free from such objectification?

[Trollgaard]

Well, since we are speaking of men specifically, I can say that the number 3 on his list doesn't apply to me. I don't treat men like objects, because I don't date them. I don't lower my standards, I just look for someone nice, who is kind to me. Ruthless, the word he used, implies intent, which I know I have not done, nor witnessed in my relationships.

But can you be sure that you don't unconsciously treat women like objects? How can you be certain that you're absolutely free from such objectification?

Why do you care?

[The Plutonian Empire]

I'm in the process of forcing myself to give up on this whole thing right now, because I'm simply not cut out for it. It's tough, sure, but I look forward to the day where I'll simply laugh at the fools who try this sort of thing and fail miserably at it. Plus, it'll be a heavy burden of worrying about this sort of shit lifted off my shoulders, so I can actually focus for once on working my ass off till the day I die.

[Four-sided Triangles]

Why do you care?

Because treating people like objects is wrong.

[Mike the Progressive]

But can you be sure that you don't unconsciously treat women like objects? How can you be certain that you're absolutely free from such objectification?

Why do you care?

Because women are gods, men are pigs, and we, the males, deserve to all be castrated.

[Idaho Conservatives]

Why do you care?

Because women are gods, men are pigs, and we, the males, deserve to all be castrated.

I think Mike's got things covered.

[Arkinesia]

I've always assumed something about mutual social circles. I'm not particularly interested in the field, personally, but I find it fascinating.

Don't get stuck in a single social circle.

Trust me.

[Metanih]

Well, since we are speaking of men specifically, I can say that the number 3 on his list doesn't apply to me. I don't treat men like objects, because I don't date them. I don't lower my standards, I just look for someone nice, who is kind to me. Ruthless, the word he used, implies intent, which I know I have not done, nor witnessed in my relationships.

But can you be sure that you don't unconsciously treat women like objects? How can you be certain that you're absolutely free from such objectification?

Well, since I am female, it becomes rather odd to treat women as objects.
Although thin and pretty are very effective, I may say.

[Arkinesia]

Well, since we are speaking of men specifically, I can say that the number 3 on his list doesn't apply to me. I don't treat men like objects, because I don't date them. I don't lower my standards, I just look for someone nice, who is kind to me. Ruthless, the word he used, implies intent, which I know I have not done, nor witnessed in my relationships.

But can you be sure that you don't unconsciously treat women like objects? How can you be certain that you're absolutely free from such objectification?

You can't, but you can have rational confidence that your feelings are somehow attached to the loving bond you have with that person.

[Four-sided Triangles]

Well, since I am female, it becomes rather odd to treat women as objects.

But it's not impossible, and you cannot be absolutely, 100% certain that you are completely and totally avoiding it even on an unconscious level.

[Nornalhorst]

Well, since we are speaking of men specifically, I can say that the number 3 on his list doesn't apply to me. I don't treat men like objects, because I don't date them. I don't lower my standards, I just look for someone nice, who is kind to me. Ruthless, the word he used, implies intent, which I know I have not done, nor witnessed in my relationships.

But can you be sure that you don't unconsciously treat women like objects? How can you be certain that you're absolutely free from such objectification?

I see where this is going, come on 4ST lets focus on the topic.

[Four-sided Triangles]

I see where this is going, come on 4ST lets focus on the topic.

I am on topic.

[Metanih]

Well, since I am female, it becomes rather odd to treat women as objects.

But it's not impossible, and you cannot be absolutely, 100% certain that you are completely and totally avoiding it even on an unconscious level.

Well, given that they are all my friends, I would say that I cannot do it completely, on an unconscious level, and neither can they. I believe that everyone manipulates everyone in some way, even unconsciously. My point was I don't do it intentionally.

[Four-sided Triangles]

I believe that everyone manipulates everyone in some way, even unconsciously.

But if manipulation is bad, should we not do everything we can to minimize it, including avoiding relationships?

[Metanih]

I believe that everyone manipulates everyone in some way, even unconsciously.

But if manipulation is bad, should we not do everything we can to minimize it, including avoiding relationships?

Manipulation is bad, but my relationships are far more beneficial to me in other ways, than the manipulation, which is inherently small to begin with, pales in comparison.
Besides, I also think that I manipulate those I am in a relationship less than those I am not.

[Nornalhorst]

I believe that everyone manipulates everyone in some way, even unconsciously.

But if manipulation is bad, should we not do everything we can to minimize it, including avoiding relationships?

Did you know every step you take could potentially be your last? So should we stop walking to minimize the potential for death?

[Nornalhorst]

Anyway so what is the best course of action when it comes to approaching a woman?
I heard of just asking out and flirting with every girl I see and hopefully someone will want to be with me, and I heard the exact opposite as well don't try to get in any relationship just keep doing what I do and maybe one of these years someone will come along.

[Metanih]

Anyway so what is the best course of action when it comes to approaching a woman?
I heard of just asking out and flirting with every girl I see and hopefully someone will want to be with me, and I heard the exact opposite as well don't try to get in any relationship just keep doing what I do and maybe one of these years someone will come along.

That wouldn't work well for some people. Not everyone has the ability to simply talk to people like that. Building up friendship is significant as well, for some people.

My advice is to find someone you like, become friends with them, if you still want to have a relationship with them, ask them out whenever feels best. My best advice.

[The Blaatschapen]

Anyway so what is the best course of action when it comes to approaching a woman?
I heard of just asking out and flirting with every girl I see and hopefully someone will want to be with me, and I heard the exact opposite as well don't try to get in any relationship just keep doing what I do and maybe one of these years someone will come along.

I suggest to approach from the front or from the side. From behind might scare them if they didn't notice you before.

A bit more helpful advice: I'm not going to say that you should just flirt with everyone in the hopes of finding one that flirts back. But doing nothing and just waiting is also not the right way, the right girls have to notice you after all. If you see someone that fancies your interest, flirt. Make yourself approachable

[Four-sided Triangles]

Did you know every step you take could potentially be your last? So should we stop walking to minimize the potential for death?

False analogy. Not walking does not actually increase life expectancy.

[Cannot think of a name]

Anyway so what is the best course of action when it comes to approaching a woman?
I heard of just asking out and flirting with every girl I see and hopefully someone will want to be with me, and I heard the exact opposite as well don't try to get in any relationship just keep doing what I do and maybe one of these years someone will come along.

Have you ever gone fishing? When you first start you're all there...staring at the water thinking 'c'mon c'mon c'mon' and then, the line jerks and you yank the hell out of the rod (Hur!) and come up empty...the longer you have to wait between nibbles the worse you blow it with your exaggerated enthusiasm and you go home fishless thinking that fishing is stupid.

Well, fishing may or may not be stupid, but what I'm getting at here is the over emphasis on the hooking of the fish and ignoring the rest of the process. This is why dudes end up bitching about 'the friend zone' as if being friends with women is some kind of cruel punishment. You're living and dying by every encounter with everything with boobs in your rough age range.

This is why people say 'stop looking,' because you're running around the forest yelling "HERE DEER! HERE DEER! HERE DEER!" and scaring off all the deer. That's right, I switched similes. Whatcha gonna do about it?

Think about it this way...without any bravado, some chick just comes out of nowhere and not only decides within fifteen minutes of meeting you that you're the savior of her soul but not only that, but really anyone who would talk to her for more than 14 minutes would do. You would be a little creeped out by her and certainly not all that flattered.

So the advice would be:

Relax. Spazzes make people nervous.

Start at the beginning. You're not proposing, you're looking for someone to be with. It's a long process that starts with "Can I stand to be in the same room as this person longer than a few minutes" and progresses through "you know who'd be awesome to do this totally fun thing with?" to eventually for some "I want to make babies with this person." If you jump to the end, it's creepy.

Adjust your goals. What you're really doing is meeting people. Finding someone to [romantic goal] with is just leveling up. If you look at it like selecting a mate it becomes too much like buying a car that can reject you.

Take shit in stride. You are being rejected by a single person, not an entire gender. Different people are into different things. You don't want to date every person you meet, they're not really any different.

[Four-sided Triangles]

Have you ever gone fishing? When you first start you're all there...staring at the water thinking 'c'mon c'mon c'mon' and then, the line jerks and you yank the hell out of the rod (Hur!) and come up empty...the longer you have to wait between nibbles the worse you blow it with your exaggerated enthusiasm and you go home fishless thinking that fishing is stupid.

Well, fishing may or may not be stupid, but what I'm getting at here is the over emphasis on the hooking of the fish and ignoring the rest of the process. This is why dudes end up bitching about 'the friend zone' as if being friends with women is some kind of cruel punishment. You're living and dying by every encounter with everything with boobs in your rough age range.

This is why people say 'stop looking,' because you're running around the forest yelling "HERE DEER! HERE DEER! HERE DEER!" and scaring off all the deer. That's right, I switched similes. Whatcha gonna do about it?

Think about it this way...without any bravado, some chick just comes out of nowhere and not only decides within fifteen minutes of meeting you that you're the savior of her soul but not only that, but really anyone who would talk to her for more than 14 minutes would do. You would be a little creeped out by her and certainly not all that flattered.

So the advice would be:

Relax. Spazzes make people nervous.

Start at the beginning. You're not proposing, you're looking for someone to be with. It's a long process that starts with "Can I stand to be in the same room as this person longer than a few minutes" and progresses through "you know who'd be awesome to do this totally fun thing with?" to eventually for some "I want to make babies with this person." If you jump to the end, it's creepy.

Adjust your goals. What you're really doing is meeting people. Finding someone to [romantic goal] with is just leveling up. If you look at it like selecting a mate it becomes too much like buying a car that can reject you.

Take shit in stride. You are being rejected by a single person, not an entire gender. Different people are into different things. You don't want to date every person you meet, they're not really any different.

Women are prey? That seems a bit rape-ish.