The Stupidest War in History?

[Neumorgenland]

WW1. It lead directly to the collapse of European relavance and more than 100,000,000 deaths in fifty years, and it could have so easily been averted. Even in 1917 when Charles offered peace, everyone was too stupid to just pack up and go home. Fucking pointless war.

[Farnhamia]

WW1. It lead directly to the collapse of European relavance and more than 100,000,000 deaths in fifty years, and it could have so easily been averted. Even in 1917 when Charles offered peace, everyone was too stupid to just pack up and go home. Fucking pointless war.

100,000,000 deaths in fifty years? And Charles who?

[Caninope]

WW1. It lead directly to the collapse of European relavance and more than 100,000,000 deaths in fifty years, and it could have so easily been averted. Even in 1917 when Charles offered peace, everyone was too stupid to just pack up and go home. Fucking pointless war.

100,000,000 deaths in fifty years? And Charles who?

He's probably also referring to the conflicts that spawned from it, including the Russian Revolution and World War II.

[Tekcirb]

WWI, Vietnam, Suez Crisis, there's many more that I will not bother to list.

[Farnhamia]

100,000,000 deaths in fifty years? And Charles who?

He's probably also referring to the conflicts that spawned from it, including the Russian Revolution and World War II.

Bit of a stretch. And I'm not sure if the war was avoidable. The whole system of linked alliances was poised for a conflict. If the Archduke hadn't been assassinated something else would have set it off.

[Solidarity for the people]

World War One in my opinion

[Southern Patriots]

Not certain what the criteria for stupidest is, but if reasons for happening is one then WWI doesn't count. It had such a wide cause that assuming it could have been avoided is folly. Europe was overdue for a major conflict between the powers and it's rather pointless to play the "they're stupid for letting it happen" game.
Now in terms of HOW a war was waged, WWI ranks pretty high.

[Caninope]

He's probably also referring to the conflicts that spawned from it, including the Russian Revolution and World War II.

Bit of a stretch. And I'm not sure if the war was avoidable. The whole system of linked alliances was poised for a conflict. If the Archduke hadn't been assassinated something else would have set it off.

No, World War I directly led to the set of conditions needed for the Russian Revolution and helped create the opportunity for Hitler's rise to power in Germany.

[Angleter]

WWI was not a stupid war! The war started because a serbian killed the HEIR TO THE THRONE!!!!

Yes, and next thing you know, thanks to a whole slew of alliances and pacts everyone in continental Europe is killing each other. Like I said, Soap-Opera turned war.

Countries do not just blindly follow alliances into war. Indeed, all the European alliances pre-1914 were substantively weak and ignorable, except the Austro-German one, that which gave us the 'blank cheque', and that itself was a result of Germany all but isolating itself in the 1900s over issues like Morocco, and leaving itself reliant for support on an Austria that was more than willing to use German support as much as possible to get one over on Russia and remain a relevant world power. In reality, everyone was out for themselves, and all Great Powers entered the war of their own volition (except France, who got invaded by Germany) because they thought it was in their own interests.

[The Archregimancy]

WW1. It lead directly to the collapse of European relavance and more than 100,000,000 deaths in fifty years, and it could have so easily been averted. Even in 1917 when Charles offered peace, everyone was too stupid to just pack up and go home. Fucking pointless war.

100,000,000 deaths in fifty years? And Charles who?

Presumably Emperor Karl I of Austria; or the Blessed Charles of Austria to Catholics (JP II beatified him in 2004).

He attempted to negotiate a separate peace via his brother in law Prince Sixtus of Bourbon-Parma, who was in the Belgian army, from 1917. When the story of the negotiations leaked in the spring of 1918, Charles initially denied the story - so Clemenceau published the letters. The Germans weren't happy, and clamped down on any further Habsburg attempts at peace negotiations.

[Bears Armed]

all Great Powers entered the war of their own volition (except France, who got invaded by Germany) because they thought it was in their own interests.

Umm, no. France entered the war because of its alliance with Russia, before the Germans invaded... whereas the UK entered because we (along with both France and Prussia, at the least) had guaranteed the independence & neutrality of Belgium back when that country was originally established and the Germans had invaded there.

[Farnhamia]

Bit of a stretch. And I'm not sure if the war was avoidable. The whole system of linked alliances was poised for a conflict. If the Archduke hadn't been assassinated something else would have set it off.

No, World War I directly led to the set of conditions needed for the Russian Revolution and helped create the opportunity for Hitler's rise to power in Germany.

Well, the hyperbole was unnecessary, then. I dislike hyperbole.

@Arch: Yes, I thought that might the Charles he meant. I hadn't heard of his peace attempt. The Austro-Hungarian Empire had to go if only because the Hapsburgs had started numbering their children. Prince Sixtus? Really?

[Aestoria]

Iran-Iraq war

[Angleter]

all Great Powers entered the war of their own volition (except France, who got invaded by Germany) because they thought it was in their own interests.

Umm, no. France entered the war because of its alliance with Russia, before the Germans invaded... whereas the UK entered because we (along with both France and Prussia, at the least) had guaranteed the independence & neutrality of Belgium back when that country was originally established and the Germans had invaded there.

Non. Germany declared war on France on 3rd August. And Belgium was merely a pretext for Britain to intervene- the real concern was about the implications of German victory, over France in particular. Indeed, the likes of Lord Grey had a mightily difficult task convincing most of the Cabinet, let alone a majority in the Commons, that there was enough of a threat to Britain for us not to, as Asquith thought we might, remain spectators. They certainly wouldn't have been convinced that we should go to a bloody, costly war over Belgian neutrality, of all things.

[Horsefish]

Non. Germany declared war on France on 3rd August. And Belgium was merely a pretext for Britain to intervene- the real concern was about the implications of German victory, over France in particular. Indeed, the likes of Lord Grey had a mightily difficult task convincing most of the Cabinet, let alone a majority in the Commons, that there was enough of a threat to Britain for us not to, as Asquith thought we might, remain spectators. They certainly wouldn't have been convinced that we should go to a bloody, costly war over Belgian neutrality, of all things.

This. Why couldn't you have posted on the first page?

As a side point: are you doing edexcel for your A-Level too?

[Angleter]

Non. Germany declared war on France on 3rd August. And Belgium was merely a pretext for Britain to intervene- the real concern was about the implications of German victory, over France in particular. Indeed, the likes of Lord Grey had a mightily difficult task convincing most of the Cabinet, let alone a majority in the Commons, that there was enough of a threat to Britain for us not to, as Asquith thought we might, remain spectators. They certainly wouldn't have been convinced that we should go to a bloody, costly war over Belgian neutrality, of all things.

This. Why couldn't you have posted on the first page?

As a side point: are you doing edexcel for your A-Level too?

I did Germany, Russia, and Intl. Relations 1871-1914 for AQA AS, but much of this comes from my reading the Pity of War for my uni application.

[Maroza]

The Battle of Karansebes (1788)

Not really a war but gets number one for pure stupidity.

So, in 1788, Austria was at war with Turkey. The Austrian army was marching down to clash with an advancing Turkish army in what is now Romania. Shenanigans ensued.
What happened was the Austrians set up camp for the night, and some scouts on horseback went out to check the immediate countryside for any armed Turks. They came across a band of gypsies with a shitload of schnapps for sale, which they eagerly bought and began drinking.

A load of Austrian infantry were also out and about, and came across the group of scouts. They wanted to join the drinking. The boozy scouts refused and set up makeshift fortification in what probably seemed a really funny idea at the time. Things got heated, an argument broke out and someone got too excited and fired a shot and all Hell broke loose, infantry and scouts firing wildly at each other. The infantry, in a state of confusion, began shouting that the Turks were attacking them. The scouts, even though it was they who were attacking their infantry, suddenly believed that there actually was a huge, swarthy, mustachioed Turkish army just behind them.

The scouts broke ranks and piled through the ranks of infantry. The infantry took this as a sign that the Turks were definitely there. They began a panicky withdrawal, all animosity forgotten in the face of the imaginary Turkish army.

Just when the whole affair couldn't get any stupider, it did.

The Austrian army was made up of soldiers from several countries and they spoke different languages. So when the German-speaking officers started shouting "Halt! Halt!" in their own language, the non-German-speakers mistook it for cries of, "Allah! Allah!"
The whole frantic group of soldiers finally arrived back at the main camp. An officer there, in a moment of slapstick brilliance, reasoned that the charging, shouting men must be a Turkish attack, and ordered an artillery strike.
The entire camp then awoke to the sound of an enormous battle and they all did what every disciplined soldier would do at a time like this: ran away in different directions, firing wildly. The situation escalated until the army was called into a general retreat from the imaginary enemy. Finally, not wanting to miss out on the fun, the leader of the whole operation, Holy Roman Emperor Joseph II, got knocked off his horse and landed in a stream.
Who Won?
The only real winner here was magnificent stupidity. For a more tangible result, we'll say that the points went to the Turks, who arrived at the scene two days later to find almost 10,000 dead and wounded Austrians and, after they had all had a good laugh, promptly captured the town and surrounding countryside.

Read more: The 5 Most Retarded Wars Ever Fought | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/article_17123_th ... z1h5wexfXW

[Daistallia 2104]

The Battle of Karansebes (1788)

At least have the courtesy to source and quote that. Plagiarism is bad, m'kay?

[Maroza]

The Battle of Karansebes (1788)

At least have the courtesy to source and quote that. Plagiarism is bad, m'kay?

I'm going to get sued for posting a historical even of a forum?

[Farnhamia]

The Battle of Karansebes (1788)

At least have the courtesy to source and quote that. Plagiarism is bad, m'kay?

Countries have gone to war for less.

[The Anglo-Saxon Empire]

The Battle of Karansebes (1788)

Not really a war but gets number one for pure stupidity.

So, in 1788, Austria was at war with Turkey. The Austrian army was marching down to clash with an advancing Turkish army in what is now Romania. Shenanigans ensued.
What happened was the Austrians set up camp for the night, and some scouts on horseback went out to check the immediate countryside for any armed Turks. They came across a band of gypsies with a shitload of schnapps for sale, which they eagerly bought and began drinking.

A load of Austrian infantry were also out and about, and came across the group of scouts. They wanted to join the drinking. The boozy scouts refused and set up makeshift fortification in what probably seemed a really funny idea at the time. Things got heated, an argument broke out and someone got too excited and fired a shot and all Hell broke loose, infantry and scouts firing wildly at each other. The infantry, in a state of confusion, began shouting that the Turks were attacking them. The scouts, even though it was they who were attacking their infantry, suddenly believed that there actually was a huge, swarthy, mustachioed Turkish army just behind them.

The scouts broke ranks and piled through the ranks of infantry. The infantry took this as a sign that the Turks were definitely there. They began a panicky withdrawal, all animosity forgotten in the face of the imaginary Turkish army.

Just when the whole affair couldn't get any stupider, it did.

The Austrian army was made up of soldiers from several countries and they spoke different languages. So when the German-speaking officers started shouting "Halt! Halt!" in their own language, the non-German-speakers mistook it for cries of, "Allah! Allah!"
The whole frantic group of soldiers finally arrived back at the main camp. An officer there, in a moment of slapstick brilliance, reasoned that the charging, shouting men must be a Turkish attack, and ordered an artillery strike.
The entire camp then awoke to the sound of an enormous battle and they all did what every disciplined soldier would do at a time like this: ran away in different directions, firing wildly. The situation escalated until the army was called into a general retreat from the imaginary enemy. Finally, not wanting to miss out on the fun, the leader of the whole operation, Holy Roman Emperor Joseph II, got knocked off his horse and landed in a stream.
Who Won?
The only real winner here was magnificent stupidity. For a more tangible result, we'll say that the points went to the Turks, who arrived at the scene two days later to find almost 10,000 dead and wounded Austrians and, after they had all had a good laugh, promptly captured the town and surrounding countryside.

And all of this is due to Gypsies who sold some alcohol. Obviously the Gypsies are the problem. Obviously.

[Malgrave]

At least have the courtesy to source and quote that. Plagiarism is bad, m'kay?

I'm going to get sued for posting a historical even of a forum?

No but blatantly copying from an article from cracked.com will make you look like an idiot.

[Maroza]

thanks for destroying my computer

[Daistallia 2104]

I'm going to get sued for posting a historical even of a forum?

No but blatantly copying from an article from cracked.com will make you look like an idiot.

Especially if it's already been posted in the thread.

[Maroza]

No but blatantly copying from an article from cracked.com will make you look like an idiot.

Especially if it's already been posted in the thread.

Already gave credit for it before I responded to your post