Girlfriends' dads

[Pieman City]

Wow, I wonder how this thread turned into a subject of rape...

Because no conversation on NS can exist for more than 4 pages without moving into an excessivly controversial, yet only barely related, debate that has been carried over from 30 other threads.




In answer to the OP, the reason men are scared of what a girls father thinks is one of (or both of) two things:

1) Respect: You want to impress an older male figure because you respect the older generation and want to prove you are worth taking care of the fathers "little princess".

2) Fear: Dads are usually bigger and stronger then most teenage boyfriends. So there is the fear of pissing them off. And nothing is going to piss them off more then knowing you're the guy banging his daughter behind closed doors and taking his place as the most important male figure. It's just biological.



Truthfully though, one should never let it stop them from even TRYING to go for a girl. I never have.

[Fransikania]

Personaly i have never cared about what my Girlfriends' dad thinks.

[Keronians]

Why do so many guys still think that it's up to a girl's father to decide if you are allowed to date her?

I've had a couple of different guys that were interested in me, but then got absurdly nervous about the possibility that my dad might not approve. None of them has ever been concerned that my mom might have a problem with them.

It's really not helpful to be so paranoid. If you're dating a girl and she's worried about what her dad thinks, then you have a reason to be concerned; but otherwise you're just making things more nerve-wracking than they need to be. If it seems like a guy is more concerned about my dad's opinion than mine, that causes problems in the relationship.

Ladies, do your dads chase away would-be boyfriends, or did they chase away would-be boyfriends when you were younger?

Well, I wouldn't say that the girl's father has the right to deny a girl to date someone, but if I were a girl's boyfriend and I wanted to marry that girl, I probably would make sure it's OK with her parents (yeah, not just the father, but both parents) after she said "yes".

Why? Well, I'm not quite sure. More, I suppose, to do with respect for them, and what they did to raise her, as well as to make sure that they are fine with the relationship.

Maybe a bit of cultural influence as well. My parents still don't understand why I wouldn't accept them arranging a marriage for me. Yes, you guessed it... Theirs was an arranged marriage. They don't mind the fact that I absolutely oppose that, but they don't understand why.

[Nazi Flower Power]

And now, ladies and übermenschen, I shall share the revelation with which I shattered NERVUN's mind on IRC:

Rule 34 surely applies to that mental image too. Somewhere out there is fanart of sexy barefoot preggers Hitler.

... Perhaps it's better that Hitler never managed to breed. Can you imagine the sort of prospective father-in-law he'd make?

You know... I like to think I'm a pretty good artist, certainly better than Hitler was, but I really don't think I could make a barefoot pregnant Hitler look sexy.

[Unilisia]

Do you really have such a hard time understanding women when they talk?
This seems more like something a character in a sitcom would say.
'Womanese'? Really?

In his defense, I know what he's talking about. It's not in the least confusing to me, but I get what he's saying.

Women oftentimes won't do things directly, at least in Western culture, as much as men. They'll make innuendo towards an idea. Overtures and the like, rather than saying outright.

It's our little way of fucking with your heads and keeping males on hypothetical leashes.

[Nazi Flower Power]

It really is just a point of honour, more to the point 'it is the right thing to be done'. You really dont understand how men work if you are dismissing this practice as reactionary nonsense. Consider most dads are nearly always anxious when their little girl is growing up, its an almost instinctual protective reaction and, especially in the case of the modern world, a dad is perfectly justified in worrying about the kind of guy his little girl will be going out with. And to a prospective husband, how the dad reacts to his daughter being with a man will be the precurser stage to their future relationship as in-laws, and the protectiveness of the dad is positive in potentially scaring away partners who would be abusive, even to the point where the father would 'forbid relationships', another old practice that ties into this one that is equally valid. When a guy wants to go out with a girl and he is worried about what her dad will think of him, this is a sign of good character.

Want to know why?

Because he gives enough of a shit about the girl and where she comes from to want to acknowledge and honour her family to ask the father's permission for marriage. It reaffirms the dad's trust that the guy his daughter is with is 'good people' because he has the courage and humility to suck up his pride and ask, (even if he has convinced the dad long ago that he is 'good people' then asking for permission would be sealing the deal and the dad's opinion of him into stone in a positive light), and then there is the other more obvious factor, even if the old 'child ownership' thing is non-existant any more, this practice will and should be done both for the reasons that I have mentioned and because it is a symbolically acknowledging that the dad, once and potentially for all, will no longer be the central male figure in the girl's life and the asking for permission is the full coming to fruition of a relationship successfully upgrading into marriage and the man is acknowledging full responsibility for her happiness, accountable to her father and extended family. It is a very chivalrous and manly thing to do and quite frankly if you don't think your woman is worth going through this ceremonial business for, then what are you doing marrying her for?

I do not care about whether or not this is sexist, it is the right thing for guys to do, and it is very widespread throughout western society, any movie or show set in modern times or thereabouts where the male character goes through the 'old fashioned' motions when dating or marrying a female character, (regardless if he is a main character or not), he will be portrayed in a positive light or remarked upon as fond anachronism at worst if we are dealing with a show that generally lampoons old practices such as this. And this is saying something considering how most movies and shows deal with relationships. It really is a positive thing and something society as a whole needs a great deal more of.

The problem is that it goes beyond just a healthy desire to get along with in-laws. If you have a serious relationship with someone, meeting their family and trying to make a good impression is normal. But there have been guys that asked me if I have an overprotective dad before they've even asked me out for dinner. At that point it really is unhealthy.

Part of the problem is that when I get hit on by black guys they are worried that asking out a white girl will trigger a racist shitstorm -- but if they like white girls in the first place, then they're going to have to deal with the racist bullshit. You get bullshit from other people no matter what. My dad didn't mind when I dated a black guy, but a total stranger tried to run us off the road.

[Genivaria]

It really is just a point of honour, more to the point 'it is the right thing to be done'. You really dont understand how men work if you are dismissing this practice as reactionary nonsense. Consider most dads are nearly always anxious when their little girl is growing up, its an almost instinctual protective reaction and, especially in the case of the modern world, a dad is perfectly justified in worrying about the kind of guy his little girl will be going out with. And to a prospective husband, how the dad reacts to his daughter being with a man will be the precurser stage to their future relationship as in-laws, and the protectiveness of the dad is positive in potentially scaring away partners who would be abusive, even to the point where the father would 'forbid relationships', another old practice that ties into this one that is equally valid. When a guy wants to go out with a girl and he is worried about what her dad will think of him, this is a sign of good character.

Want to know why?

Because he gives enough of a shit about the girl and where she comes from to want to acknowledge and honour her family to ask the father's permission for marriage. It reaffirms the dad's trust that the guy his daughter is with is 'good people' because he has the courage and humility to suck up his pride and ask, (even if he has convinced the dad long ago that he is 'good people' then asking for permission would be sealing the deal and the dad's opinion of him into stone in a positive light), and then there is the other more obvious factor, even if the old 'child ownership' thing is non-existant any more, this practice will and should be done both for the reasons that I have mentioned and because it is a symbolically acknowledging that the dad, once and potentially for all, will no longer be the central male figure in the girl's life and the asking for permission is the full coming to fruition of a relationship successfully upgrading into marriage and the man is acknowledging full responsibility for her happiness, accountable to her father and extended family. It is a very chivalrous and manly thing to do and quite frankly if you don't think your woman is worth going through this ceremonial business for, then what are you doing marrying her for?

I do not care about whether or not this is sexist, it is the right thing for guys to do, and it is very widespread throughout western society, any movie or show set in modern times or thereabouts where the male character goes through the 'old fashioned' motions when dating or marrying a female character, (regardless if he is a main character or not), he will be portrayed in a positive light or remarked upon as fond anachronism at worst if we are dealing with a show that generally lampoons old practices such as this. And this is saying something considering how most movies and shows deal with relationships. It really is a positive thing and something society as a whole needs a great deal more of.

The problem is that it goes beyond just a healthy desire to get along with in-laws. If you have a serious relationship with someone, meeting their family and trying to make a good impression is normal. But there have been guys that asked me if I have an overprotective dad before they've even asked me out for dinner. At that point it really is unhealthy.

Part of the problem is that when I get hit on by black guys they are worried that asking out a white girl will trigger a racist shitstorm -- but if they like white girls in the first place, then they're going to have to deal with the racist bullshit. You get bullshit from other people no matter what. My dad didn't mind when I dated a black guy, but a total stranger tried to run us off the road.

What the fuck!?
I've dated a black girl for a short time. She was actually going to go to Prom with me. But then she moved.

[Nazi Flower Power]

As for asking for a daughter's hand in marriage, I see it as a traditional and respectful tip-of-the-hat to the girl's parents rather than a Borat-style trade.

I can't see any way that it wouldn't be horrific. It is nobody else's right to say whether or not I can get married, and anybody who thinks that somebody else has that authority is, by definition, a person who does not have sufficient respect for my autonomy. They are certainly not somebody who could be trusted to be a life-partner.

With an outspoken feminist like you, asking your dad would be a sign that they don't know you well enough.

[Mike the Progressive]

Because you want to be happy with everybody she's happy with...if that makes sense.

I've dated girls whose dad just stood on the doorstep staring as we drove away and I've dated girls whose dad was so cool, I found myself hanging out with him more than her.

I'm kinda indifferent to it, but it's a reasonable thing.

[Nazi Flower Power]

1) Respect: You want to impress an older male figure because you respect the older generation and want to prove you are worth taking care of the fathers "little princess".

I'm very close to my dad, but I still don't get the whole "princess" thing. I don't think my dad sees me that way at all. Maybe when I was 4 years old and obsessed with princesses and lacy pink dresses, but not since I discovered Nazism.

[The Congregationists]

Part of the problem is that when I get hit on by black guys they are worried that asking out a white girl will trigger a racist shitstorm -- but if they like white girls in the first place, then they're going to have to deal with the racist bullshit. You get bullshit from other people no matter what. My dad didn't mind when I dated a black guy, but a total stranger tried to run us off the road.

Your dad might not mind your're dating a black guy, but what would the Fuehrer think??? I thought the Nuremberg Laws outlawed that sort of thing <grin>

[Nazi Flower Power]

The problem is that it goes beyond just a healthy desire to get along with in-laws. If you have a serious relationship with someone, meeting their family and trying to make a good impression is normal. But there have been guys that asked me if I have an overprotective dad before they've even asked me out for dinner. At that point it really is unhealthy.

Part of the problem is that when I get hit on by black guys they are worried that asking out a white girl will trigger a racist shitstorm -- but if they like white girls in the first place, then they're going to have to deal with the racist bullshit. You get bullshit from other people no matter what. My dad didn't mind when I dated a black guy, but a total stranger tried to run us off the road.

What the fuck!?
I've dated a black girl for a short time. She was actually going to go to Prom with me. But then she moved.

We were in Des Moines. They have some real hicks out there, but it was actually a black woman that tried to run us off the road. Some white people were rude to us in other ways, so I think they just have bad race relations all around.

[Mike the Progressive]

Part of the problem is that when I get hit on by black guys they are worried that asking out a white girl will trigger a racist shitstorm -- but if they like white girls in the first place, then they're going to have to deal with the racist bullshit. You get bullshit from other people no matter what. My dad didn't mind when I dated a black guy, but a total stranger tried to run us off the road.

Your dad might not mind your're dating a black guy, but what would the Fuehrer think??? I thought the Nuremberg Laws outlawed that sort of thing <grin>

Nazism is complicated in the 21st century. On one hand the Aryan race is the superior race, on the other, black guys have big dicks. So what can you do [with a Klondike bar]?

[Nazi Flower Power]

Part of the problem is that when I get hit on by black guys they are worried that asking out a white girl will trigger a racist shitstorm -- but if they like white girls in the first place, then they're going to have to deal with the racist bullshit. You get bullshit from other people no matter what. My dad didn't mind when I dated a black guy, but a total stranger tried to run us off the road.

Your dad might not mind your're dating a black guy, but what would the Fuehrer think??? I thought the Nuremberg Laws outlawed that sort of thing <grin>

Since we lost the war I am more concerned about Nuremberg Trials than Nuremberg Laws. Did you know they can execute you if you're convicted of war crimes? I wish someone told me BEFORE I killed all those POWs.

[Astholm]

Getting back to the topic at hand, from what my friends have told me, a lot of the girlfriends' dads tended to be either chilled-out or overly neurotic, rather than threatening. Funny how we [i.e. me and my friends] were discussing this very topic in person a few months back!

[The Congregationists]

Nazism is complicated in the 21st century. On one hand the Aryan race is the superior race, on the other, black guys have big dicks. So what can you do [with a Klondike bar]?

That's it. Off to Dachau with you! The master race is definately best hung ... that is why they're the master race, after all.

Of course, I don't exactly speak from experience here.

Your dad might not mind your're dating a black guy, but what would the Fuehrer think??? I thought the Nuremberg Laws outlawed that sort of thing <grin>

Since we lost the war I am more concerned about Nuremberg Trials than Nuremberg Laws. Did you know they can execute you if you're convicted of war crimes? I wish someone told me BEFORE I killed all those POWs.

Those POWs shouldn't have asked your dad's permission to marry you. They should have asked the camp commandant (whom I'm guessing was you?)

[Neo Arcad]

Yeah. You know, I have actually dated MULTIPLE girls without consulting their fathers. And it's probably a stupid idea because they're often gun owners. But I do have friends who're always asking their GFs' father for permission to date.

[Astholm]

Yeah. You know, I have actually dated MULTIPLE girls without consulting their fathers. And it's probably a stupid idea because they're often gun owners. But I do have friends who're always asking their GFs' father for permission to date.

Although if you date older women, this comes into play less, so I've heard from people here in "Cougar County" (the North Midlands, England).

[Nazis in Space]

1) Respect: You want to impress an older male figure because you respect the older generation and want to prove you are worth taking care of the fathers "little princess".

I'm very close to my dad, but I still don't get the whole "princess" thing. I don't think my dad sees me that way at all. Maybe when I was 4 years old and obsessed with princesses and lacy pink dresses, but not since I discovered Nazism.

Few things are more enticing than leather, uniforms and high heel'd boots~

And riding crops~

[Pieman City]

1) Respect: You want to impress an older male figure because you respect the older generation and want to prove you are worth taking care of the fathers "little princess".

I'm very close to my dad, but I still don't get the whole "princess" thing. I don't think my dad sees me that way at all. Maybe when I was 4 years old and obsessed with princesses and lacy pink dresses, but not since I discovered Nazism.

Well wether or not he actually see's you that way, it'll often be the male point of view when coming into a relationship.


It IS silly though. I remember when my girlfriend flippantly mentioned our sex life in front of her father one day. I almost fainted. Then I noticed that he really didn't care.

In the end, I agree with you. It's a silly thing ot fear the dad, especially to the point of avoiding a girl just because of her father. Be respectful, make a good impression sure, but avoidance is a nay nay.

[Dyakovo]

She was actually going to go to Prom with me. But then she moved.

Wow... Moving to avoid going to the prom with you... That's hardcore.
Yes, yes, I know... It was there, I couldn't resist.

[Genivaria]

She was actually going to go to Prom with me. But then she moved.

Wow... Moving to avoid going to the prom with you... That's hardcore.
Yes, yes, I know... It was there, I couldn't resist.

[Nazi Flower Power]

Nazism is complicated in the 21st century. On one hand the Aryan race is the superior race, on the other, black guys have big dicks. So what can you do [with a Klondike bar]?

That's it. Off to Dachau with you! The master race is definately best hung ... that is why they're the master race, after all.

Of course, I don't exactly speak from experience here.

Fun fact: when they standardized the condom sizes in the EU, the Germans complained that the condoms were too big and would fall off. I'm sure the Nazis would blame this on race-mixing, defeatist thinking, and Jewish sabotage; but yeah... those guys probably weren't as manly as you would think from the spiffy uniforms.

Since we lost the war I am more concerned about Nuremberg Trials than Nuremberg Laws. Did you know they can execute you if you're convicted of war crimes? I wish someone told me BEFORE I killed all those POWs.

Those POWs shouldn't have asked your dad's permission to marry you. They should have asked the camp commandant (whom I'm guessing was you?)

Naturally. Can you testify at my trial please?

[Natty Narwhal]

My girlfriend's father likes me. Sort of. I hope... Maybe not, but still.

[SaintB]

I don't leave it up to their dad I leave it up to them, I don't even have the stereotypical fear of dad's.