Girlfriends' dads

[New England and The Maritimes]

It's sort of an honor thing.

That kind of honor is for sexist chumps.

[Motuka]

It's sort of an honor thing.

I propose it be replaced with a bat'leth duel. That's much more honourable.

[Greed and Death]

It's sort of an honor thing.

That kind of honor is for sexist chumps.

Not really it is more of a recognition that your not really dating the daughter but also dating the whole family and should strive to considered a good bf to both the girl herself and to her family.
As for why the guy ask the dad, well because he will give us an answer we understand he speaks man. Asking the mom may result in a bf getting confused by womanese.

Women tend to ask the mom just not as directly and full of alot more confusing womanese.

[The USOT]

TBH its a scary matter =L

I mean, maybe its my watching waaaaay to many sitcoms as a teenager, but even now I find it worrying.

I suppose you have to think of it this way. I dont have kids, but if I was to ever find someone mess my sister around (and no I dont mean that in a sexual way specifically) I would be after them with a baseball bat (presuming she hasent killed them herself first...). Now I imagine this protection emotion magnifies massively when it comes to being a father. Something harms your pack? You remove the problem.

Thats why even though my girlfreinds father is a lovely guy, and I get on with him (or at least I think I do) I am still worried that one of these days im going to be sitting down and he is going to come at me with a shovel

[Genivaria]

That kind of honor is for sexist chumps.

Not really it is more of a recognition that your not really dating the daughter but also dating the whole family and should strive to considered a good bf to both the girl herself and to her family.
As for why the guy ask the dad, well because he will give us an answer we understand he speaks man. Asking the mom may result in a bf getting confused by womanese.

Women tend to ask the mom just not as directly and full of alot more confusing womanese.

Nice gender stereotyping.

[New Conglomerate]

Because it's fun to humor their parents even if they're decision has no impact on the actual continuance of the relationship?

[Bluth Corporation]

That kind of honor is for sexist chumps.

Not really it is more of a recognition that your not really dating the daughter but also dating the whole family and should strive to considered a good bf to both the girl herself and to her family.

No, you're really just dating the one person. It's nice if the family accepts you, but if not--well, either this is the woman for you so you'll get over it, or it matters that much to you and so all things considered this isn't the woman for you after all.

As for why the guy ask the dad, well because he will give us an answer we understand he speaks man. Asking the mom may result in a bf getting confused by womanese.

Seriously?

[Erinkita]

That kind of honor is for sexist chumps.

Not really it is more of a recognition that your not really dating the daughter but also dating the whole family and should strive to considered a good bf to both the girl herself and to her family.
As for why the guy ask the dad, well because he will give us an answer we understand he speaks man. Asking the mom may result in a bf getting confused by womanese.

Women tend to ask the mom just not as directly and full of alot more confusing womanese.

Do you really have such a hard time understanding women when they talk?
This seems more like something a character in a sitcom would say.
'Womanese'? Really?

[Xeng He]

Do you really have such a hard time understanding women when they talk?
This seems more like something a character in a sitcom would say.
'Womanese'? Really?

In his defense, I know what he's talking about. It's not in the least confusing to me, but I get what he's saying.

Women oftentimes won't do things directly, at least in Western culture, as much as men. They'll make innuendo towards an idea. Overtures and the like, rather than saying outright.

[The USOT]

I hardly consider the continued observance of a reactionary tradition harkening to the days when a daughter was the property of her father to be in anyway "honorable".

She lives at home she is technically property. But that is beside the point.

The girl has basically given permission. It's a big thing to the father to see his "little girl" be married to somebody else. You hope you raised her right to pick to decent guy and the fact he still asks is honorable.

There is a very large difference between hoping you raised someone right and that person being property.
Hoping you raised someone right is a mutual ending of paternal love. Hopefully in a family, the father will be able to look on the child and be proud, whilst the child hopefully respects the father and wants to make them proud.
It is not the same as a man owning an entity and expecting it to fulfill a contractual obligation. After a certain age, family life is mutual (with of course the odd emotional coercion )

[Erinkita]

Do you really have such a hard time understanding women when they talk?
This seems more like something a character in a sitcom would say.
'Womanese'? Really?

In his defense, I know what he's talking about. It's not in the least confusing to me, but I get what he's saying.

Women oftentimes won't do things directly, at least in Western culture, as much as men. They'll make innuendo towards an idea. Overtures and the like, rather than saying outright.

That's the tendency, yeah, but it's not indecipherable, is it?

[Karolyland]

About confusing "womanese"...

One of the most consistently confusing people I ever communicated with was man. He seemed to have a profound dislike of ever getting straight to the point.

It may be a result of social upbringing to some extent that "womanese" is more likely to be found among women - the stereotype had to develop somehow - but confusing lack of directness in communication certainly doesn't have to be an exclusively woman phenomenon, probably more of a personality quirk found in both genders.

[Xeng He]

That's the tendency, yeah, but it's not indecipherable, is it?

It's pretty easy to decipher once you put your mind to learning, speaking as a man.

[Xeng He]

It may be a result of social upbringing to some extent that "womanese" is more likely to be found among women - the stereotype had to develop somehow - but confusing lack of directness in communication certainly doesn't have to be an exclusively woman phenomenon, probably more of a personality quirk found in both genders.

I agree with all of that, actually.

[Salciana]

Me and my gf are dating behind his back...in fact i don't give a shit what he thinks he hates me and probably would be willing to put a gun to my head. I don't even know why he told her that he doesn't like me because "We dated behind his back" he thinks she broke up with me.

[Euronion]

Why do so many guys still think that it's up to a girl's father to decide if you are allowed to date her?

I've had a couple of different guys that were interested in me, but then got absurdly nervous about the possibility that my dad might not approve. None of them has ever been concerned that my mom might have a problem with them.

It's really not helpful to be so paranoid. If you're dating a girl and she's worried about what her dad thinks, then you have a reason to be concerned; but otherwise you're just making things more nerve-wracking than they need to be. If it seems like a guy is more concerned about my dad's opinion than mine, that causes problems in the relationship.

Ladies, do your dads chase away would-be boyfriends, or did they chase away would-be boyfriends when you were younger?

Because your mother is most likely not the one who is going to chase your boyfriend down with a rifle if you get pregnant

[New Conglomerate]

Why do so many guys still think that it's up to a girl's father to decide if you are allowed to date her?

I've had a couple of different guys that were interested in me, but then got absurdly nervous about the possibility that my dad might not approve. None of them has ever been concerned that my mom might have a problem with them.

It's really not helpful to be so paranoid. If you're dating a girl and she's worried about what her dad thinks, then you have a reason to be concerned; but otherwise you're just making things more nerve-wracking than they need to be. If it seems like a guy is more concerned about my dad's opinion than mine, that causes problems in the relationship.

Ladies, do your dads chase away would-be boyfriends, or did they chase away would-be boyfriends when you were younger?

Because your mother is most likely not the one who is going to chase your boyfriend down with a rifle if you get pregnant

Anyone who chases anyone down with a rifle is likely to end up with a pound of lead in their chest courtesy of a local SWAT team.

Literal 'Shotgun' weddings aren't actually that common.

[Katganistan]

Wait wait wait, you're a female?

Where have YOU been?

[Katganistan]

Because dating is a temporary transfer of ownership of the girl from the father to the bf. Marriage is a permanent transfer of said property.

Marriage and dating have always been this, and they will always be this. They cannot be made egalitarian. They cannot be purged of sexism.

I'd like to see the guy who thought he owned me.

[Euronion]

Because your mother is most likely not the one who is going to chase your boyfriend down with a rifle if you get pregnant

Anyone who chases anyone down with a rifle is likely to end up with a pound of lead in their chest courtesy of a local SWAT team.

Literal 'Shotgun' weddings aren't actually that common.

As a father of two, one of them being a 15 yr old girl, if that happened, lets just say I'd call in a little favor with the Italian Mafia, I am not a redneck

[Dread Lady Nathicana]

Why do so many guys still think that it's up to a girl's father to decide if you are allowed to date her?

I've had a couple of different guys that were interested in me, but then got absurdly nervous about the possibility that my dad might not approve. None of them has ever been concerned that my mom might have a problem with them.

It's really not helpful to be so paranoid. If you're dating a girl and she's worried about what her dad thinks, then you have a reason to be concerned; but otherwise you're just making things more nerve-wracking than they need to be. If it seems like a guy is more concerned about my dad's opinion than mine, that causes problems in the relationship.

Ladies, do your dads chase away would-be boyfriends, or did they chase away would-be boyfriends when you were younger?

Because your mother is most likely not the one who is going to chase your boyfriend down with a rifle if you get pregnant

My daughter tells all prospective boyfriends that as intimidating as he can look, it isn't her father they need to worry about.

It's me. And for damn good reason.

As for that other piffle about 'property' and the like - give me a fething break. This isn't the dark ages, believe it or not, and we women ARE capable of making our own choices, whether you choose to agree with that or not. Your dysfunction. Not mine, FST. Kindly stop trying to make it seem otherwise.

And the gender issues and miscommunication? Pfft. Just because 'society' or whatever tells you 'this is how it is', doesn't mean you have to buy into it. Communication is the key to air power. And a solid relationship.

[Idaho Conservatives]

Marriage and dating have always been this, and they will always be this. They cannot be made egalitarian. They cannot be purged of sexism.

Just like everything else.

[Euronion]

I think it is more of a protective gender swap thing if you know what I mean. Mothers are always protective over their sons, and Fathers are always protective of their daughters. I think this is because the same gender parent thinks that their child can go through it fine. A father thinks that his son is tough enough to do what he wants, the mother thinks he needs constant support and feels like she needs to emotionally shield him. So when a girl comes into a boy's life, the mother feels protective of the boy's emotions. When in the case of the daughter, the father feels that he needs to physically protect her, he thinks that she needs protecting because she is his daughter and in his eyes his daughter will always be his little girl, therefore he sees this boy come into your life, remembers what he was after at that age, and assumes this boy is after the same thing and therefore feels protective. It is a human instinct to protect one's prodigy, while I do not think it should be necessary for simply dating, I believe it is necessary for marriage. We feel that we need to do this because we know that when we have daughters, that we would like the same courtesy and notice beforehand, not to mention teenagers are emotional and often do not know what is good or bad for them in the long term while their parents do.

[Barefoot Lands]

Big Jim summed it up nicely.

I too asked my father-in-law. It became a bragging point for him.

I have a daughter and yes I will be a jack ass to my girls boyfriends.

Simple reason: If the boy is willing to put up with my bullshit, he really likes her.

Absofuckinglutely!

[Euronion]

Because your mother is most likely not the one who is going to chase your boyfriend down with a rifle if you get pregnant

My daughter tells all prospective boyfriends that as intimidating as he can look, it isn't her father they need to worry about.

It's me. And for damn good reason.

As for that other piffle about 'property' and the like - give me a fething break. This isn't the dark ages, believe it or not, and we women ARE capable of making our own choices, whether you choose to agree with that or not. Your dysfunction. Not mine, FST. Kindly stop trying to make it seem otherwise.

And the gender issues and miscommunication? Pfft. Just because 'society' or whatever tells you 'this is how it is', doesn't mean you have to buy into it. Communication is the key to air power. And a solid relationship.

that is why I said most likely, there are exceptions to every rule

as for the second part of your comment, I agree with you that women are not property, and I was not the one claiming that they were