Folks badass enough to get their own Internet meme

[Al-Harakut al-Islami]

Who are history's biggest badasses?
We've all heard Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Teddy Roosevelt called the most badass folks in history at some point, and some jokes about how badass they are (some of these jokes are better than others).

But I say these folks are equally -- if not more -- badass (in no particular order):

-Che Guevara. The face that launched a million t-shirts and waged guerrilla warfare against America and its allies throughout Latin America, as well as parts of Africa.

-Turkish Sultan Mehmet II. Conquered Constantinople with the biggest guns in history up till that point, and waged successful war against Dracula.

-Rasputin. Survived being shot six times, being stabbed by a prostitute in public, poisoning attempts, and clubbing. Oh, and he healed a hemophiliac and secretly influenced Russian politics. Oh, and he had a lot of sex.

-Genghis Khan. United the Mongol tribes, and kept them together so that he could form the largest empire in the world up till that point.

-Vladimir Putin. http://www.cracked.com/article_19128_7- ... adass.html

-Nightkill the Emperor. Because screw y'all.



So, who else deserves the title of "World's Biggest Badass?"

[Imperial--japan]

Nuclear Fist: For disturbing randomness making even the greatest minds piss themselves in fear.

[Galloism]

I have a couple memes floating around out there.

[United Dependencies]

I have a couple memes floating around out there.

Which ones?

[Tlaceceyaya]

-Genghis Khan. United the Mongol tribes, and kept them together so that he could form the largest empire in the world up till that point.

He is also a common ancestor of 1 in every 200 people.

[Al-Harakut al-Islami]

-Genghis Khan. United the Mongol tribes, and kept them together so that he could form the largest empire in the world up till that point.

He is also a common ancestor of 1 in every 200 people.

I think I heard that statistic somewhere. Either way, I am of the 0.5% that have his DNA~~ Yay~!

Screw the 1% and the 99%. Occupy Wall Street just got a whole new meaning.
My ancestors were horsemen who rode across the continent of Asia to wreak havoc in the name of a man who claimed the title Universal Ruler. Persia, Khwarizm, China, Northern India, Central Asia, all fell to them. I am the 0.5%.

[Conserative Morality]

-Che Guevara. The face that launched a million t-shirts and waged guerrilla warfare against America and its allies throughout Latin America, as well as parts of Africa.

A coward and a terrorist.

-Turkish Sultan Mehmet II. Conquered Constantinople with the biggest guns in history up till that point, and waged successful war against Dracula.

Not sure how successful I'd call it.

-Rasputin. Survived being shot six times, being stabbed by a prostitute in public, poisoning attempts, and clubbing. Oh, and he healed a hemophiliac and secretly influenced Russian politics. Oh, and he had a lot of sex.

Healed a hemophiliac? Not really.

-Genghis Khan. United the Mongol tribes, and kept them together so that he could form the largest empire in the world up till that point.

Ah, the Great Khan.

-Vladimir Putin. http://www.cracked.com/article_19128_7- ... adass.html

Meh.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

-Nightkill the Emperor. Because screw y'all.



So, who else deserves the title of "World's Biggest Badass?"

Damn right.

[Polruan]

A coward and a terrorist.

I realise that American conservatives have this weird compulsion to check whatever it is leftists are saying and then say the exact opposite, but how was he a coward?
As a good American you should know there's not necessarily anything wrong with terrorism…

Anyway, how about Geronimo?

[Conserative Morality]

I realise that American conservatives have this weird compulsion to check whatever it is leftists are saying and then say the exact opposite, but how was he a coward?

I realize that some people feel the need to categorize people according to how they view certain historical figures, but I'm not a conservative.

As a good American you should know there's not necessarily anything wrong with terrorism…

No, but when you say:

To send men to the firing squad, judicial proof is unnecessary, these procedures are an archaic bourgeois detail. This is a revolution! And a revolutionary must become a cold killing machine motivated by pure hate. We must create the pedagogy of the paredon (The Wall)!

There definitely is something wrong with that brand of terrorism.

Anyway, how about Geronimo?

Not a coward, but a rebel and a reactionary.

[New East Ireland]

-Nightkill the Emperor. Because screw y'all.

Pfft. Gandhi has plenty of memes.

[Flavionia]

As soon as I had seen this post I though "Che Guevara, Why'd you steal it, homes?

[Levena]

A coward and a terrorist.

I realise that American conservatives have this weird compulsion to check whatever it is leftists are saying and then say the exact opposite, but how was he a coward?
As a good American you should know there's not necessarily anything wrong with terrorism…

Anyway, how about Geronimo?

inb4 you being called evil.

[Infernala]

Wait... Terrorism isn't necessarily bad?!WHAT?

[Elipida]

-Che Guevara. The face that launched a million t-shirts and waged guerrilla warfare against America and its allies throughout Latin America, as well as parts of Africa.

A coward and a terrorist.

Really? a coward and a terrorists? I hope you are joking there. I really don't want to know that there are super pro-republican americans out there or i would seriously re-think my anti-soviet thing

[Norstal]

-Che Guevara. The face that launched a million t-shirts and waged guerrilla warfare against America and its allies throughout Latin America, as well as parts of Africa.

Clearly he failed at being a badass if this ironic thing happened.

[Conserative Morality]

Really? a coward and a terrorists? I hope you are joking there. I really don't want to know that there are super pro-republican americans out there or i would seriously re-think my anti-soviet thing

Herp, not a Republican. I'm center left, or far left by American standards.

Nice try though.

[The Republic of Supermen]

Three words. CHESTER ALAN ARTHUR!

[Dracoria]

Who are history's biggest badasses?
We've all heard Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Teddy Roosevelt called the most badass folks in history at some point, and some jokes about how badass they are (some of these jokes are better than others).

But I say these folks are equally -- if not more -- badass (in no particular order):

-Che Guevara. The face that launched a million t-shirts and waged guerrilla warfare against America and its allies throughout Latin America, as well as parts of Africa.

Oddly enough, I'll have to agree with CM here. He was overly eager to execute anyone suspected of being antirevolutionary, including schoolteachers; he was eager to have the USSR base missiles in Cube, hoping to fire them as soon as possible and turn the entirety of Cuba into martyrs against capitalism (the real reason the missiles were pulled was the Soviets caught wind of their allies being so eager to pull the trigger); and he sang like a canary when captured, giving Bolivian forces all the intel they needed to put down the revolution.

-Turkish Sultan Mehmet II. Conquered Constantinople with the biggest guns in history up till that point, and waged successful war against Dracula.

Are you kidding? I'll give him Constanstinople (or let him take it as the case may be), but Vlad's forced were vastly outnumbered, outgunned, betrayed by his German allies, and the man STILL managed to wage a successful guerilla war against the Turks for a number of years before his capture.

-Rasputin. Survived being shot six times, being stabbed by a prostitute in public, poisoning attempts, and clubbing. Oh, and he healed a hemophiliac and secretly influenced Russian politics. Oh, and he had a lot of sex.

Not sure if I'd call him badass, as he was more of a schemer than anything. Still, rather important historical figure.

-Genghis Khan. United the Mongol tribes, and kept them together so that he could form the largest empire in the world up till that point.

Okay, I'll have to agree here. KHAN!

Vladimir Putin. http://www.cracked.com/article_19128_7- ... adass.html

Ehhhh. He plays up to the cameras and is trying to bring Russia back toward a communist dictatorship, but I'm not sure he qualifies as a badass any more than some of their past leasers.

Nightkill the Emperor. Because screw y'all.
So, who else deserves the title of "World's Biggest Badass?"

Who?

[Norstal]

Oddly enough, I'll have to agree with CM here. He was overly eager to execute anyone suspected of being antirevolutionary, including schoolteachers; he was eager to have the USSR base missiles in Cube, hoping to fire them as soon as possible and turn the entirety of Cuba into martyrs against capitalism (the real reason the missiles were pulled was the Soviets caught wind of their allies being so eager to pull the trigger); and he sang like a canary when captured, giving Bolivian forces all the intel they needed to put down the revolution.

And now his face is on everywhere there's capitalism.

A FITTING PUNISHMENT!

[Yuktova]

Why I don't see me up there?

[Norstal]

Why I don't see me up there?

If you ask, you're probably not a badass. *nods*

Anyways, Alan Turing for cracking up the Enigma code and for being a proud homosexual.

[Dracoria]

Addendum: I wish to formally rename Che Guevara as 'The Hot Topic Guy' in honor of the storefront where I usually see his shirts and fashions.

I would also wish to put Ernest E. Evans on the list, due to his actions at the Battle of Leyte Gulf.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernest_E._Evans

The Chief ordered his ship, the destroyer USS Johnston, to engage a vastly superior Japanese surface fleet that had caught his task group off guard, and buy time for the slow escort carriers.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Johnston_(DD-557)

After the Johnston took severe damage in her initial torpedo run - her bridge abandoned due to a direct hit from a 6" cannon, mast gone, and one of her engines smashed - Evans continued to direct his ship from the fantail, shouting orders down an open hatch to the engineers below. Survivors reported that his uniform was bloodied and one hand reduced to a bloodied pulp. Still, he waved his good hand to the crew of destroyer escort Samuel B. Roberts as she darted past on her own torpedo run.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_off_Samar

After causing severe damage to one heavy cruiser (a torpedo having literally blown her bow off) and minor damage to several others with her 5" cannons, the struggling destroyer turned to engage a Japanese destroyer column that was making a torpedo run on a straggling US escort carrier. Evans's ship rained fire on the destroyers and the light cruiser leading them, forcing the ships to fire early and turn away, their torpedoes running wide and failing to hit. However, during this engagement Johnston's remaining engine was hit and the ship was left immobilized. The destroyers came about and returned fire on Johnston, which was soon surrounded and pounded relentlessly. With her remaining weapons destroyed and water pouring through several holes punched below the waterline, Evans gave the order to abandon ship.

He was never seen again. Some survivors believed they saw him get into a damaged whaleboat; some believe he was hit by Japanese shellfire on deck. Either way, his body was never recovered.

However, due to the destroyer charge and continued aerial harassment by aircraft that lacked proper anti-ship weapons, the Japanese forces had become disorganized and were growing low on ammunition, eventually turning back rather than pressing onward toward the otherwise undefended landing beaches at Leyte.

[Polruan]

I realize that some people feel the need to categorize people according to how they view certain historical figures, but I'm not a conservative.

Ok, a conserative, whatever.

There definitely is something wrong with that brand of terrorism.

This makes him a coward how…? Lots of people on the OP's list were very bad boys; but not cowards.

Anyway, how about Geronimo?

Not a coward, but a rebel and a reactionary.

This is the first time I've seen Geronimo criticised on quasi-Marxist grounds, rather than being a murderer

[Conserative Morality]

Ok, a conserative, whatever.

A center-leftist.

This makes him a coward how…? Lots of people on the OP's list were very bad boys; but not cowards.

The fact that his last words before his capture were "Don’t shoot! I’m Che! I’m worth more to you alive than dead!", that his preferred method of eliminating people was signing orders for execution by firing squad without a trial.

This is the first time I've seen Geronimo criticised on quasi-Marxist grounds, rather than being a murderer

I'm reclaiming the word reactionary.