Pick-up lines

by **Stukastan (Ancient)** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 1:46 pm

"Do you work at UPS? Because I could of sworn you were checking out my package"

"My dick died, can I bury it in your asshole?"

"I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?"

"Mum says I can't go to see this movie by myself, so will you come with me?"

Pretty terrible, but remember, 50 nos and yesh...means yesh. ;D

by **Spendor** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 1:49 pm

Matt Selou wrote:This girl once told me (honest)

"So are we gonna have sex?"

That was the best pick up line for a girl... How easy, direct, no goddamn games that I'm not willing to play.

Tried that. Her retort was, "Yes, but not with each other." :evil:

by **Jagalonia** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 1:51 pm

You guys have it ALL wrong.

You have to use facts to "Pick up"

http://xkcd.com/403/

by **Maranaque** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:18 pm

I have an account on NationStates. How sexy am I? Let's fuck.

by **Horsefish** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:42 pm

Maranaque wrote:I have an account on NationStates. How sexy am I? Let's fuck.

Everyone should be required to get their nation name tattooed on their forehead. Thus we can always identify sexy people and also one another.

by **The Blaatschapen** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:44 pm

Horsefish wrote:
Maranaque wrote:I have an account on NationStates. How sexy am I? Let's fuck.

Everyone should be required to get their nation name tattooed on their forehead. Thus we can always identify sexy people and also one another.

My forehead is not big enough to print 'The Vennegoor of The Hesselink of The Blaatschapen" on it :blush:

Either the font would be so small that it would be giant smudge or I'd look worse than that Belgian girl with the 100+ stars on her face.

by **Lucantis** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:46 pm

You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it.

It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!!

If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.

If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.

Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute.

A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her "I will stop loving you when all the roses die."

Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.

Say "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." And kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet.

Are those space pants? Because your @$$ is out of this world!

People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?

There are 20 angels in the world 11 are playing, 8 are sleeping and 1 of them is standing in front of me.

Would you sleep with a stranger? [No] Then Hi, my name is...

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin!

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in!

I want to tell you your fortune. [Take her hand and write your phone number on it.] Your future is clear.

Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean, and baby I'm lost at sea!

Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you!

I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns.

Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?

What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot!

If you were a booger I would pick you first.

[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants!

If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together.

I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous.

Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?

Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good!

Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?

Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?

Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.

Are you form Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!!!

I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you!

I'm going outside to make out... care to join me?

I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel!

Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice!

Are you a Hurricane [name]? Cause you're blowing me away.

Hi, I’m Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me.

Did it hurt when you fell? [Girl: Huh?] When you fell from heaven?

I must be lost… because I see paradise.

(steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what's your name?

If you were a laser you would be set on stunning.

We're like Little Ceasar's, we're Hot and Ready.

by **Horsefish** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:47 pm

The Blaatschapen wrote:
Horsefish wrote:
Everyone should be required to get their nation name tattooed on their forehead. Thus we can always identify sexy people and also one another.

My forehead is not big enough to print 'The Vennegoor of The Hesselink of The Blaatschapen" on it Either the font would be so small that it would be giant smudge or I'd look worse than that Belgian girl with the 100+ stars on her face.

You'd just have to get it on your whole face then. I think 'The United States Of Horsefish' would look quite good on my forehead personally

by **Cromarty** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:52 pm

Horsefish wrote:
The Blaatschapen wrote:
My forehead is not big enough to print 'The Vennegoor of The Hesselink of The Blaatschapen" on it Either the font would be so small that it would be giant smudge or I'd look worse than that Belgian girl with the 100+ stars on her face.

You'd just have to get it on your whole face then. I think 'The United States Of Horsefish' would look quite good on my forehead personally

It'd look good somewhere else as well. >.>

- St George.

by **Horsefish** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:53 pm

Cromarty wrote:
Horsefish wrote:
You'd just have to get it on your whole face then. I think 'The United States Of Horsefish' would look quite good on my forehead personally

It'd look good somewhere else as well. >.>

- St George.

Ah buddy, I knew it was you. I keep on-top of certain things and you are one of them

As a side-note I was thinking of getting a seahorse like the one on my flag somewhere but I'm not sure where and if it's worth the pain and money for something only a samll community on the internet would understand.

by **Eahland** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:59 pm

I once had a girl in a bar tell me that I reminded her of Silent Bob.

What are you supposed to say to that?

by **Horsefish** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:59 pm

Eahland wrote:I once had a girl in a bar tell me that I reminded her of Silent Bob.

What are you supposed to say to that?

Nothing. The clues in the name.

by **The Blaatschapen** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 3:02 pm

Eahland wrote:I once had a girl in a bar tell me that I reminded her of Silent Bob.

What are you supposed to say to that?

"Snootchie Bootchies" *nods*

Or: So I'm totally weirded out by this, right? And then I just start blasting her. Like... I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling, so I figure the best way is by calling her a slut, right? And tell her she was used. I'm... I'm out for blood. I really wanna hurt this girl. I'm like, "What the fuck is your problem?", right? And she's just all calmly trying to tell me, like, it was that time and it was that place and she doesn't think she should apologize because she doesn't feel that she's done anything wrong. I'm like, "Oh, really?" That's when I look her straight in the eye, I tell her it's over. I walk.

by **Nadkor** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 6:22 am

Maineiacs wrote:"Is your dad a terrorist? 'Cause your the bomb!"

Not a line I would recommend trying in Belfast.

I've had a few people try to use pick-up lines, always clearly either using it as a dare, a joke, or ironically, and never actually serious. One time it nearly worked, but that was because the guy was someone I'd met before, was very good looking, and was generally pretty charismatic and charming anyway.

by **Savedland** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 6:31 am

I am like a rubik's cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get.

by **Eahland** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 2:08 pm

Horsefish wrote:
Eahland wrote:I once had a girl in a bar tell me that I reminded her of Silent Bob.

What are you supposed to say to that?

Nothing. The clues in the name.

That was my thinking, too, but my most eloquent and Silent-Bobish shrug didn't seem to leave anywhere for the conversation to go.

Consensus among my friends afterwards was that I should've added, "No ticket."

Protip: Your opening line should invite a response. (Other than a drink in the face.)

Oh, another pickup line that doesn't work, from the same night: "You're the hottest woman I've ever seen. I'm so glad my wife's not here."

(It wasn't true, either. I've seen his wife. Pity about her personality.)

by **Jagalonia** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 3:29 pm

Eahland wrote:
Horsefish wrote:
Nothing. The clues in the name.

That was my thinking, too, but my most eloquent and Silent-Bobish shrug didn't seem to leave anywhere for the conversation to go.

Consensus among my friends afterwards was that I should've added, "No ticket."

Protip: Your opening line should invite a response. (Other than a drink in the face.)

Oh, another pickup line that doesn't work, from the same night: "You're the hottest woman I've ever seen. I'm so glad my wife's not here."

(It wasn't true, either. I've seen his wife. Pity about her personality.)

/b/rotip. Use more magnets.

by **B E E K E R** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 3:44 pm

I have not need for chat up lines..besides..they wouldn't be able to take notice as they kissed my feet..

by **Carmadin** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 5:27 pm

Erm,this whole dress up as your flag thing,theres just one problem:

by **Tim-Opolis** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 5:33 pm

Most ridiculous ones.

Ummm---

"If you were a big mac, I would nom you."
"Your pillows of love compel me"

I might post more later... but those are the best two I can think of

by **Jagalonia** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 6:06 pm

Carmadin wrote:Erm,this whole dress up as your flag thing,theres just one problem:

Whatll Sedge wear?
O_o

Nothing. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Plut, it would confirm the sedge/crazy girl conspiracy.

by **The Alchemists Guild** » Fri Nov 11, 2011 9:39 am

Are you a champions league semi-final 'cos you've got 2 legs!

by **Esternial** » Fri Nov 11, 2011 9:44 am

Obese penguin...

Just something to break the ice.

by **Natty Narwhal** » Fri Nov 11, 2011 9:51 am

I've never used any... I always get stuck looking at the girls boobs until she notices and leaves.

by **Esternial** » Fri Nov 11, 2011 9:55 am

Is your father a terrorist?

'cus you're a bomb.

Pick-up lines

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